Cheating baby daddy!

Amber - posted on 01/21/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my first, I'm 26 yrs old, and I recently found out that the man I'm in love with has been cheating on me with his ex the whole time we've been together. He knows I'm pregnant and so does she. I left him yesterday and even though my mind is angry my heart is still very much in love with him. How do I move passed this and not look at the baby as a constant reminder that the man I thought I would marry someday was fucking someone else?

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Cecilia - posted on 01/25/2013

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Even in a stable world your pregnant hon and your emotions are going to switch and fall out of you. We become bubbling pots of emotion. We cry when the sky turns blue in the morning. Realize some of it is your hormones.

Jessica - posted on 01/22/2013

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I am so sorry for what you are going through. I was in your shoes not that long ago, the only difference being I was married and 4 months pregnant when I found out my now-ex was cheating. I had the same fears you have. I wasn't sure how I could ever love this child I was carrying knowing that she would be a constant reminder of him. I can 100% honestly tell you that I know now that is a crazy emotional thought!! My daughter is now 15 months old and the best thing that has ever happened to me. Right now you are probably overwhelmed with emotions. It was so hard for me to wade through and deal with all of the emotions I had at the time. It was really difficult, but I promise it gets better. Look to your friends and family for support. As soon as I saw my daughter I knew that she was her own person and I honestly don't think about her father when I look at her..I think about what a wonderful addition to my life she is and about how freakin adorable she is :) Even with all of my friends and family and their support, it was my daughter and our love for each other that really helped me get over my broken heart.

Cecilia - posted on 01/21/2013

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truth is sometime you will look at the baby and see him. look past it and see you. you're in there too. I did it too. Bad behaviors i would always think oh acting like you dad now huh? I never said it though. The pain you feel is yours to carry not the baby's/child's.

As much as you might not like him right now you have to put the thought into your mind that now you may have to deal with this man for another 18+ years. To make it worse you need to be civil to him for the sake of your child. Some will disagree with me on this but the truth is. What if your child ends up loving him. then looks at you and knows you said all these horrible things about a person they love? Then that child is forced to choose. I don't want my children to have to choose. My son is 15 and to this say knows nothing about me and his father's relationship. He does not need to carry my anger. That's too much to ask of a child.

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Cecilia - posted on 01/25/2013

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i mentioned the passing on your anger is because many young mother's do it and not realizing the damage they are causing. Glad that you already know what it can do.

Amber - posted on 01/25/2013

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Yes I am very overwhelmed with emotions, I normally control them rather well but it's like I'm constantly on a roller coaster, fine one minute and the next something weird triggers me and I'm bawling again. I hope that I can move passed this and let him go, I don't want to be in love with someone who doesn't truly love me back. I never imagined something like this would have happened to me, I almost terminated the pregnancy when I first found out, he is a huge part in why I didn't. He said he was happy and wanted to spend his life with me. It just blows my mind that someone could be so selfish, I gave him more than one chance to get out, to change our fate and this is the path he navigated me on and then cheated on me anyway. It just doesn't make since.

Amber - posted on 01/25/2013

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I would never pass my anger on too my baby. I want him to be there for it and be its dad, though I'm not looking forward to dealing with him I know that it's much easier on a child when the two parents can get along! My parents are divorced and my biological father walked out on me when I was 15. He hadn't made an effort to talk to me since, that's been 11yrs now, up until last July when my only blood sibling passed away. I don't want my baby to go through the same confusion of what I did to make my dad no longer love me. I realize now it wasn't anything I did, but that took me a very long time realize, and hardened my heart towards many people. I want my baby to be happy and hoped that it would grow up with the father and I as a father together rather than apart. I would give anything to change the situation, and have already forgiven him, at least as much as I can. Thank you!

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