child support

Crystal - posted on 11/30/2008 ( 117 moms have responded )

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I have to know how many mom's are out there with non-active parents in this raising? I haven't seen my ex-husband, and father of my children, since May, 2004. I receive no child support & haven't even heard from him since 2005.

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Kristin - posted on 05/22/2012

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I also feel that if i withdraw the support order and all the arrears i am not being fair to my children. I do not need the supoprt but it would be a good college fund for my children, I am scare also that if i do withdraw the order for child support my ex will make my life even more of a living hell.

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Danielle - posted on 05/22/2012

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Kristin,



As long as whomever you are dating isn't endangering your children, you should keep custody of the kids just fine. Your ex would have to prove you unfit. As for his actions, you need to be journaling them & possibly taking pictures/filming if you can as proof.



If you're able to file for his paycheck to be automatically garnished by the state/government, I would do that. At that point it won't be for YOU to stop collecting support from him; it will be on the state/agency to be the "bad guy" to help you get the financial support you need for the kids. Also, should you have gone back to court to cover the arrearage the judge can specify how much he has to pay you monthly to make up the arrearage and that additional amount will also be garnished to help get you paid back. It might take 20yrs or so to get paid, but at least you'll get some money. I would get it done NOW before any of the other moms go that route.



As for you having to drive the kids down to see him, if he wants to see the kids, he can get his arse up there to you allow him to visit in a public place (so you have witnesses, keeping you &/or your kids physically safe from him) or you can agree to meet him halfway, again in a public place. Otherwise, you and the kids aren't at his beck & call to be toted out & put away whenever it's convenient for him. Your priority should be in providing your kids a stable, loving environment with structure. If he wants to pay you up front for wear 'n tear on your car + gas money + reimburse you for your time, maybe then you can bring the kids to him once a month. Otherwise, I'd tell him you're a mom, not his personal assistant.

Kristin - posted on 05/22/2012

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Oh and my ex also claims that if i were to date anyone he doesnt approve of he will try to take my children away. Can he do that? He will not approve of anyone i date and is trying to run my life by using the children. I am so frustrated as he does not help support the children nor does he have an active relationship with them. It is all about control with him. I work very hard on being a good mother and working full time to support my children. I do not drink or do drugs and I make good money, my children are my life and I am so sick of him stating that I am not putting my children first by not withdrawing the child support order or driving them down to see him. I just feel that i made so much effort for him already and it is time for him to start making effort for his children instead of playing mind games with me and going into jealous rages over what i am doing or who i may be dating, I am scared to date anyone for fear of what my ex may or may not do. SO if anyone has any advice for me please feel free to share it. Thanks

Kristin - posted on 05/22/2012

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My ex and I have 2 children a 6 year old boy and a 1 year old girl when he found out i was pregnant with our little girl he took off on me and refuses to see her or pay support for either child. It is a complicated story but he took off on me when our son was 1 as well and moved to a different town and when our son was 3 years old he then requested a DNA test after he had already signed the birth certificate and we had a court order in place for custody and child support. He did not see our son for 3 years and when the DNA test came back that it was indeed his child (which i knew it was) he requested that i drive the child down to see him. So like a fool and wanting my child to know his father i made the drive, then let my ex suck me back into having a relationship with him. All was going good until he found out i was pregnant and he bailed. He told me that this child was not his he threatened to kill me if i had the child and went after him for child support. My ex is very mentally abusive and i had my little girl. Then he cries to people stating that i am withholding his children from him, when in actuality I am not. He does not pay any support at all for the children, does not pay any section 7 expenses which include sports, healthcare etc. I did take him to court and he was ordered to pay 1086.00 for both children. He also has another little girl with another woman who is 3 months older than our son and he does not pay any support for that child either. Currently he also apparently has another child on the way and does not pay for any of them or have anythinmg to do with any of them. Currently he is 33000.00 in arrears with me and is in the process of harassing me and trying to bully and guilt me into withdrawing the child support order. Now he is also claiming he wants to do a DNA test on our daughter i told him to go right ahead and do that, which he has not. Now he is asking or rather demanding me that i meet him halfway from where he lives and he will take our son for the weekend. Will not take our daughter for a weekend but wants to see his son. I am so frustrated as i feel he should have a relationship with both of them and he should be making more effort. I do not want my children to have him in their lives on an irregular basis, and whenever i do what he asks he insults me and says deragatory comments and puts all the fault on me for ruining his life. Then he asks me to spend the weekend with him, which i do not do and i am so tired of dealing with him as he is not good for my mental well being or my childrens. Last time he had our son for the weekend i drove to where he lives which is 3 hours away to drop the child off then drove all the way to pick the child up. I had a friend with me and my ex was phoning me as i was driving there stating he lost our son and i would have to find him when i go there i was still 2 hours away and i was terrified; at that time my son was only 5 in a strange town.
When we did arrive my ex had found my son and asked my son to get his stuff my son said in a minute and wanted to give me a hug; my ex then proceded to spank my son as hard as he could on the butt twist his arm and shoved him into a wall. I lost it on him and i really do not want my kids to be around their father. Does anyone have any advice?

LiL - posted on 05/15/2012

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I was in a 13 year abusive relationship and in denial for most of it. I left in fear for myself and my daughters safety after a long illness that lead to cancer. I have moved on and found a wonderful man whom I am blessed to share the last 6 years with. My daughter is almost 16 now and the last time she seen her father was at 9 years old. He has made only a few attempts throughout the 6 years to contact her (sending cards and a few emails to myself) while in between his arrests for drugs and domestic voilence not with myself. He has never paid child support and I have never asked for it. My daughter is upset at her dad for not paying her as she is almost 16 and is looking towards saving for her future. As much as it is painful to watch, my daughter rarely talks about her father I know deep down inside it is painful for her to have a father out there that can not be a responsible part of society. It has taken me a great deal of strenght to overcome the feelings of responsibity for his actions. In the end I believe I made the best decision for my family. I believe a parent should support their children willingly without force. I hear so many women saying " my ex owes me thousands of $$ in support" and they are in and out of court while dragging the children around for the emotional life alterering ride. This will impact them forever. I was one of those children! I will continue to support my daughter throughout her journey in this great life. I hope other single mothers out there share the same opinion.

Jennifer - posted on 06/18/2011

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my boys father hasnt seen them since 2009 and before that it was every now and again he denied my youngest till after his first bday and because the judge made him pay child support after his first bday he said that he was his and he still to this day denies him however he just recently as in a mo ago has started wanted something to do with them however hes seen them twice since may the end of may and the beginning of june how long it will last who knows prolly not at all for very long..

Jennifer - posted on 06/16/2011

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These aren't even a fraction of how many moms like us are out there, I'm sure.
I have two children (ages 5 1/2 and 21 months) from two different males. And don't I know how to pick the winners lol both of them are dead beat sperm donors. The first of which has never even met her real father. He was court ordered to pay CS (over two years since I had been off of assistance, took them that long to find him) and arrears per my request beginning January 2009. He paid a payment of a little more than half of what he was supposed to in Feb. '09, nothing in March, and then again the same amount in April '09. I recently receieved a freak payment that he paid in the month of March for over twice the amount he was ordered to pay. I'll bet anything they threatened him with jail time or revoking of his license. I've heard that he now works under the table jobs.
The second one is just as wonderful as I've had to priviledge to find out. I decided in February that it was time to call it quits after over three years of no change (and our daughter was then 14 months). Since then he hasn't paid me a dime and never once called about his daughter or even wanted to see her. I filed child support in Feb. as well and he's asking for a hearing. So I have to wait until July 1st to see what is going to happen with my child support for my younger daughter. In the meantime I am hurting really badly financially and trying to get my life and the lives of my children to a better place by registering for school in the fall to become a nurse. Seems like a lot of things are preventing me from doing this but I have just got to find a way to make it work. It's almost like I am holding my breath until I get child support. I even had to file for financial here recently because I lost my job back in December and have been unable to gain new employment and now even my tax return has run dry. As for the freak payment? I thought it was originally from the father of my second child (it was oddly close to the amount that had been proposed by CSEA) since I had not received a notice of a hearing and was surprised he hadn't protested it. Then I got the notice and inquired whether child support would stop (this is after I had used much of the money to pay my bills and gas, etc.) until then. That's how I found out it wasn't from him after all. And no, there has not been another one since.

Nikki - posted on 06/15/2011

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My son's father abandoned him when he was a baby. I have raised him alone, with no child support and it's been tough but from being on this site I was very surprised to see how many Mothers are in the same situation. It's scary really and worse yet is the women who KNOW guys such as these history yet date them, let them live with them free of charge etc. I couldn't imagine dating a guy I KNEW HAD ABANDONED 2 OF HIS CHILDREN. I found out my son's father has a abandoned daughter as well. So So sad. If I met a guy and he TOLD me the truth I would RUN for the HILLS!!!!!! Sheez.

Nikki - posted on 06/15/2011

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My son's father abandoned him when he was a baby. I have raised him alone, with no child support and it's been tough but from being on this site I was very surprised to see how many Mothers are in the same situation. It's scary really and worse yet is the women who KNOW guys such as these history yet date them, let them live with them free of charge etc. I couldn't imagine dating a guy I KNEW HAD ABANDONED 2 OF HIS CHILDREN. I found out my son's father has a abandoned daughter as well. So So sad. If I met a guy and he TOLD me the truth I would RUN for the HILLS!!!!!! Sheez.

Holly - posted on 04/02/2011

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my two boys have not seen their father since august 2010 and he calls when its convient for him....i have not filed support but need to regardless of excuses given

Larissa - posted on 01/24/2009

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My kids father is being held in contempt of court for not following through with his obligation. Right now they are staying a jail sentence and made a whole bunch of items mandatory and if on March 11 when they have the review he isn't complying they will go before a judge and go after jail time.

Larissa - posted on 01/24/2009

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My kids dad isn't active. My son doesn't even know who he is. He is three. The few times his dad has seen him he says hi guy. In the last year he has seen them 3 time and 2 of them were 5 minute visits.I recieve child support when he has a job because the state automatically goes after it as my kids recieve MA and my daughter recieves SSI.

Juliet - posted on 01/24/2009

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my son is almost 5 years and i left his violent and abusive dad when my son was 9 weeks old. i have not had a penny out of him ever and he has so far been non compliant with the CSA i.e ignoring them no response at all, i have recently been told this is an offence and he could be prosecuted. lets hope after all this time he gets what he deserves.

Deanna - posted on 01/24/2009

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Well I keep waiting for sperm donor's license to be suspended. That was the first thing they said they'd do if he didn't pay. Maybe it already has been suspended and that's why he's not working at the current moment. Idiot can't figure out how to get back and forth to work without a license!

Heather - posted on 01/24/2009

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Three years of separation here- my boys are four and six- and maybe six months I actually recieved child support- it took a year and a half for him to finally start paying, because they finally suspended his license- then it was just so sporadic that it wasn't anything i could count on- now he's in jail for abusing his most recent girlfriend and lo and behold in maine they don't hold you accountable for child support while you are incarcerated- which makes no sense to me because it's not my children's fault that he is an absolute moron...but they seem to be the ones that are being deprived of all the extras...anyways, i don't count on him- honestly, i'd rather have no child support and him just NOT be a part of their lives- I work two jobs and we get by..

Deanna - posted on 01/23/2009

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Quoting Janet:

It's so sad to see that there are so many no good boys (they don't deservie to be called men) out there. All of you that have responded to this thread, just keep your head up and know that God has your back.


 Janet, thanks for that inspiration. It's got to get better sooner or later.



 



I was getting a little support but sadly it lasted for only a month... Month of December... How nice... A little money in time for Christmas. Now were back to waiting on him to pay. I am assuming he either lost his job or quit but when he files his taxes we get some of that money. So hopefully he'll get a decent tax return. I hope he has no plans to spend whatever he gets back cause the state of Florida has put a lien on his taxes and says that money belongs to my baby girl.

Inga - posted on 01/23/2009

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My son's father is a convenient parent. He lives in the area but doesn't make his son a priority. We have a court order for CS & I have to call to remind him that the $ is due. The amount hasn't changed in 15 years & I just don't have time/extra $ to get a motion to modify. As long as my son is in school, he must pay.

Tricia - posted on 01/19/2009

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i havent seen my sons father since i was 6 months pregnant and now my son is 4 and i have never seen a penny

[deleted account]

Wow there are a lot of us, well another one here I'm currently in the process of getting a child support order in place.

Amber - posted on 01/18/2009

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My son is now almost 9 months old, and the only time his "Father" (sperm donor I should say) was last week when I took him to court for child support. He even told me not to tell him when I went into labor. We haven't talked since I was 3  1/2 months pregnant!

Amber - posted on 01/18/2009

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My son is now almost 9 months old, and the only time his "Father" (sperm donor I should say) was last week when I took him to court for child support. He even told me not to tell him when I went into labor. We haven't talked since I was 3  1/2 months pregnant!

[deleted account]

I have an 11yo son and his father has not seen him since he was 9 mths old. He doesn't contact our son nor does he send child support. I just filed for child support last month. I can't say why I waited this long except I just had to feel strong on my own. But now I realize I should have filed years ago. Maybe if I had, my son wouldn't have had such a stressed out mom. I suggest filing but do what you can to not count on it. And think, once filed, he will have to pay back child-support. That money might help your children with something in the future like education or activities and opportunities.

Annette - posted on 01/18/2009

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All you have to do is file for it. they will find him and he will pay one way or the other

Nichol - posted on 01/17/2009

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Hi I am the mother of 3 beautiful girls, ages almost 5 almost 2 X2( yes I mean twins) and im expecting again... non of the fathers are involved, they have all taken off becauseits too difficult, I support my kids on my own... I figure they will respect us more for always being there for them... at least I hope

Janet - posted on 01/17/2009

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It's so sad to see that there are so many no good boys (they don't deservie to be called men) out there. All of you that have responded to this thread, just keep your head up and know that God has your back.

Heidi - posted on 01/17/2009

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My daughter is 10 and her father has seen her maybe 5 times. I went to a lawyer to inquire about child support. My lawyer said if he hasn't been involved for so long why start a legal battle now. Because if i do so it could open a new can of worms and he could get visiting rights. well no thanks i have made it this far we don't need him.

Heidi - posted on 01/17/2009

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My daughter is 10 and her father has seen her maybe 5 times. I went to a lawyer to inquire about child support. My lawyer said if he hasn't been involved for so long why start a legal battle now. Because if i do so it could open a new can of worms and he could get visiting rights. well no thanks i have made it this far we don't need him.

Crystal - posted on 01/17/2009

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Thank you. My kids are very happy, but like all children, they ask where their father is & why he left. My daughter really made me break down a few weeks ago. She asked me why doesn't her daddy love her?! All I could say was, I don't know anyone who wouldn't love her! =(

Crystal - posted on 01/16/2009

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Oh, and about the child support. Michael, my ex hubby, never works for any job for more than 2 weeks & the longest job he has kept, to my knowledge, was off the books. No taxes. Just cash. When a man holds jobs like this, it's hard to track.

Crystal - posted on 01/16/2009

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I have went thru the comments & read..so sad. But, I can say I'm not alone & there are a lot of brave women out there. I really don't know what other word to use. It's so funny, in a really sad way, that so many men have just turned their backs & don't see the blessing in raising the kids. I love my kids & they mean everything to me. Everything I do, I always have to ask myself.."How is this going to affect them?" All these "donors" only care about is themselves. It's sad, really, because they're the ones who are missing out on the greatest years of their lives!!!

Stacy - posted on 01/06/2009

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Quoting Jody:



My oldest daughter is almost 12...Her biological father has not seen her since she was 3 and has attempted to contact her only 4 times in the last 9 years.  The only way I get child support from him is if the Child Maintenence Office catches up with where he is working or if he files a tax return.  I have a court ordered payment for only $152 per month that is supposed to come from him, and as of right now he is over $4000 in arrears to us.






Unfortunately, sometimes we live without.  I know that sounds a little harsh, but my daughter is a wonderful girl without him...I have been completely honest with her as to what has happened with him and this has helped our relationship immensly.  She knows how hard I work to provide for her, and hopefully she will learn from the struggles that we have encountered, and will be an even better person for it.






Oh how I hear you on this....my son is such a wonderful boy/man without his biological father as well!!!! And yes these children withouth their fathers ARE going to learn from our struggles and only be better moms/dads themselves because they know and WILL remember what they have been through and will not want to put their children in the same position!!!



My son's biological father has never been there......tried a couple times when T was an infant but that was just to try and get in the sack with me..UGH! UMMM no prob not. When I found out I was pregnant with T, I told him and he demanded that I got an abortion..ummm heck no!! 2 weeks later he asked me if I would consider adoption,,,umm no, I made my bed i was resposible enough to lie in it. 3 weeks after that, he told me this couldn't be his child because he was sterile..ha what a joke the loser had 3 other children walkin around already and these were the ones that i just knew about myself!! ( I know- what was i thinking??)



Up until a few years ago, i had no contact with his family either. Really bugged me but I didn't push anything either because I so knew we were so much better off! But one day i woke up and realized that T needs something...got in contact with T's uncle and we have now since made it a point to keep in touch. T has met his uncle, aunts, grandma and grandpa...His father's family is so caring and wants to be even more involved than they are already but T has put up a sorta a barricade and doesnt want to go any further than goin out for supper and over to their houses. It was just too long!!!!



SOMEDAY tho he is goin to meet up with his father and i sure hope i am there to see it!!!!

Nicki - posted on 01/06/2009

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Get in contact with a social worker- of child support officer. They want what is best for your children and you, so they will help you track him down, and will legally make him help you out.

Amanda - posted on 01/06/2009

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the last time my son saw his dad was the day after he was born. hes 2 months and the only "contributing" i get is an occasional phone call and the promise to send money "when he can".... men suck... i shouldnt even call him a man, because a man would stand up and be just that

Jody - posted on 01/06/2009

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My oldest daughter is almost 12...Her biological father has not seen her since she was 3 and has attempted to contact her only 4 times in the last 9 years.  The only way I get child support from him is if the Child Maintenence Office catches up with where he is working or if he files a tax return.  I have a court ordered payment for only $152 per month that is supposed to come from him, and as of right now he is over $4000 in arrears to us.



Unfortunately, sometimes we live without.  I know that sounds a little harsh, but my daughter is a wonderful girl without him...I have been completely honest with her as to what has happened with him and this has helped our relationship immensly.  She knows how hard I work to provide for her, and hopefully she will learn from the struggles that we have encountered, and will be an even better person for it.

Gina - posted on 01/05/2009

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Too many of us, sadly. My ex floats in and out of his children's lives, Child support is a treat if I get it. My boys are in constant emotional flux from the instability my ex creates. My eldest, my daughter has never seen her father, but he at least pays. Why do men not understand that it takes both genders to make babies!?!?

Leigh - posted on 01/05/2009

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I receive a whopping $66.23 every two weeks for child support. Thats just to keep himself out of jail. I've tried to force a relationship between him and my daughter. He never really has been a presence in her life but she has attached herself to him pretty tightly. During a time where he wasn't paying anything I asked him if he just wanted to sign over his rights to her that way he wouldn't have to deal with it anymore, but he refused. It's funny. He won't get a telephone so I am unable to call him when she asks to talk to him and so he has an excuse for not calling her, but he won't give up his rights. I can just see the wonderful battle I'm gonna have if I ever do get married if the guy wants to adopt her. I royally fucked up by making him a part of her life. We would have been better off without her ever knowing him.

Maria - posted on 01/05/2009

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My 3 youngest kids have the same father and he is a loser as well. He hasn't seen them since June of 07 but the kids have recently found him on MySpace of all things. Apparently he is homeless living with friends and doesn't have a job. I guess that explains why he is over 30K behind in his child support.

Leigh - posted on 01/05/2009

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I am a single mom raising a 6 yr old girl. Her father is only active because I force him to be. I do get child support from him, mainly to keep himself out of jail, but he never calls her and the only time he sees her is if I ask him to take for the last week of Christmas break and during the summer. I am a lucky one by actually receiving child support because many women doen't get a penny. Have you filed for Child Support? and what state are you in?

Stacy - posted on 01/05/2009

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Hi all!! I am a mother of 4 children....The father of my youngest three are acitve. However father to my first child who is soon to be 13 born in 1996, has never ever been involved, sometimes i get support but more often NOT. Basically a loser that can't hold a job..think he is self employed now but hides his income....According to the child support agency, he is AGAIN going to court for contempt..Still haven't seen any papers on that tho cuz I want to be there on that court day..Lords nows if I even can be? BUT just upset because the loser has his liscence which was taken away and then reinstated the next day by the agency. I believe too that the goverment just DOES NOT do enuff for us!!!! Just wish they could just thro these deadbeats into jail! But that doesnt happen! There are so many out there that just get by with it!! And why?? Heck if the other father to the other children are 1 day late on their child support they get plone calls!! I just don't get it I really really don't!!

Cara - posted on 01/05/2009

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my daughter will be three in june and her father walked out of our lives to be with his friends when she was only 3 months old, and i tholught at first i did sumthing wrong so i tryed making things right i flew down to where he lives which is like 1000 miles from where i am, and at this time she was 9 months old, he seen her and spent some time with her but i felt no connection i mean she knows him in pictures but not in person kinda weird huh?? well b4 she was 2 she was potty trained and since her donor is hispanic she was taught both english and spanish since birth with me speaking both and most of my family also, she was speaking in complete sentences at her 2nd birthday and get this i told him he dont know wat he is missing becuz she is so intelligent and he acts as he dont care and he recently went to jail in august and when they finally sentence him he looking at sitting for like 10 yrs cuz of his so called friends and by that time my daughter will be 13 and will be head strong to know that he is a worthless u know wat, she knows i am her rock and i live everyday for her i would be so lost without my baby gurl i dont know how he could have honestly walked out and for the whole child support thing at first we were together and he told me if i knew wat was good for me i wounldnt go put support out on him well i waited til after we split up and he then told me u go to child support and they do a dna test its becuz she isnt mine knowin that at birth she was a splitting image of him so i didnt until i found out in august he was in jail and i ran my happy butt right down to child support gave all the info his names and everything and i am currently awaiting a dna test so that the support could go into effect even though he isnt workn, then last week i got a letter from him in jail sayin he has changed and he loves us and he found god i almost died laughing becuz i would never let him back in her life again becuz he just leaves when he wants and comes or calls when he feels needed. so i have never received any money from him his mother did send me money when he was in el salvador visiting but the minute he came back she stopped so i do for my daughter the best i can becuz in her eyes i am her one and only hero!!! keep ur head high u can do it i have been doin it for almost 3 yrs and im still going good!

Tanya - posted on 01/05/2009

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Dead beat dads, gotta love them. I have two children and neither one of their dads are paying anything. One is out of province and the other one is always working under the table. It really ticks me off to no end because we single mom's are struggling to stay above water. The government really needs to crack down on these dads.

Deanna - posted on 01/04/2009

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Well I wish all you ladies the best of luck in your endeavours. I'm not longer qualified to post in here as I have been getting weekly child support checks... How long they'll last I don't know but hopefully they'll continue.

[deleted account]

I haven't seen the father of my kids since the day we I conceived our younger son. He sends support when convenient for him, which isnt too often at all. I'd rather he not come around though... so I just try to focus on that.

Jojo - posted on 01/04/2009

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hi everyone... my son is nearly five and his father dosnt even think he is his son let alone pay anything toward his upbringing...i feel that as my son is getting more aware ive got to sort this problem out.its on my mind everyday of my life and there is so much emotions involved..anger...guilt..hoplessness etc..be cool 2 hear from other mums going thru the same kind of worries...i know there are some good dads out there coz my 12 year old son has a different dad and we share him on good terms... i sometimes wish he was harrisons dad... but u cant have it all eh?

Ashley - posted on 01/03/2009

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I have 2 kids and i dont get child support either I have not talk to their sperm donar in months he has not even sine my little girl.

Tara - posted on 01/03/2009

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Hi I am a single mom of 4 (5yr old boy,2 yr old boy and 15 mo old b/g twins). I was with their dad for 10 yrs and was only 4 mos preg with the twins when he walked out for someone 9 yrs younger. I do get child support cause my lawyer was good and had me include it in the sep papers.
He doesn't see them cause the "thing" he walked out on us for had her kid taken by CFS and I won't let the kids go over there cause of that. He was comin over to my house to see them but we always fought. I finally told him that he needed to start showin up on time for his visits or to not bother to come at all. He chose not at all, even stopped calling them aft that and that was aug long '08. Here we r the start of the new year and the only contact they've had with them since then is an obligation call on christmas morn.
I think that in the long run it's better that they r either all in or not at all, it's hard on the kids when they bounce in and out and kids need stability, routine and constant affection. They don't need to be somebody's toy or plaything when the "dad" suddenly remembers that they had a kid(s) or feels the need to be called dad cause they miss it now and then. It takes a strong woman to step up and be all that her kid(s) need her to be and to all of u out there...keep being the good moms u r even if u feel like ur gettin it all wrong!!

Tina - posted on 01/03/2009

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I am a mother of 5 great kids of which are with all the same man. He has choosen NOT to be a part of the kids life because I choose to end our relationship. He says if I wanted to be a family then he would be there, but not until I want him back. Little does he know we are a well functioning family without him. No child support, no birthday gifts, no christmas presents, no text messages, no phone calls. He works for cash with his uncles company and therefore does not have to be accountable for his money earned. Hoping someday he will have to pay child support but until then we continue to be penny pinchers.

[deleted account]

I am in the same situation, my daughter has only seen her dad when she was a baby and now she is 4 years old. We talk about her dad but that's about the extent of it. Yeah no child support does make it harder, but I would rather have a dad for my daughter that is reliable.

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