child support

Ashley - posted on 12/30/2008

I am in the same situation, my daughter has only seen her dad when she was a baby and now she is 4 years old. We talk about her dad but that's about the extent of it. Yeah no child support does make it harder, but I would rather have a dad for my daughter that is reliable.

Andrea - posted on 12/29/2008

the courts should be able to track him down and make him pay ...For me , the dad had been giving me a certain amount per month and his job wasnt that great at the time and even when i went to child support they told me i'd get less from child support then he was already giving me ....but he's been really laxed about it and claims he dosnt have the money to pay me then the next thing i know he's buying his girlfriend an engagement ring , a digital camera and all sorts of stuff for Christmas he gave him a bike and a $50 card to toys R us ...but he hadnt gotten him anything since his birthday in Aug..... i've tried to talk to him about it but i didnt want to bring it up on Christmas .... not sure how to bring it up we are friends but anytime i bring up money he flips out at me

Stefanie - posted on 12/26/2008

When I found out that I was a month and a half pregnant my abusive ex-boyefriend told me that I was having an abortion. I told him no and he took off with his drug dealer to the east coast. He came back a week later and just walked into my parent's house (where I was staying for the time being) and told me "let's go to your abortion" and then tried to physicly pick me up and take me to his friend's car that was outside. I had to threaten to scream before he dropped me to the floor and I told him to get out and I never wanted to see or hear from him again. For the next month he called a minimum of 8 times a day and when I finally agreed to talk to him he asked if I was going to have the abortion and I told him no. Then he said "I hope you know I will kill that kid the first chance I get". He started sitting outside the house accross the road watching. I didn't press charges until my daughter was 2 weeks old. The case went all the way to supperior court before he was left off because "proof" in the court system would've been a recording of the converstation or a video of what happened and honestly who video tapes their lives or records their conversations? I took him to court for sole custody, no access for him, a restraining order and child support. It's over now and I got sole custody and he's not allowed to see her, the restraining order got dropped unfortunatly and he "pays child support" but he pays the table amount which happens to be $0 a month for an unemployed bum...

Benita - posted on 12/26/2008

My son just turned 7 months and his father decided he didn't want to be with me when he found out I was preg (2 months). I was alone the whole preg and he gave no support at all. At 3 months he decided he wanted to see my son be still has not signed the BC or has seen him again. So I am doing this alone but at times I think I am better off.

Vanessa - posted on 12/26/2008

The guy who got me pregnant was a friend, not a boyfriend, so I'm in a bit of a different situation. I always knew he never wanted kids, we even talked about it on one of the very few times we slept together. So when I did get pregnant it wasn't surprised he didn't want to be involved - I didn't even imagine he would be. But for some reason he was surprised I couldn't be talked into an abortion... Luckily I'm past the stage where they'll do an abortion, so I don't have to listen to that anymore.

I didn't see him for three and a half months after I told him, I just gave him space and let him deal with it. When we finally did catch up he was incredibly drunk, which was fine because he's always a happy drunk, and we ended up being able to talk (well, as much as you can talk with a drunk man. We didn't argue, which is the main thing.) I said my basic plan was that I'd text him when the baby was born and let him know it's gender and name. He told me I didn't need to, but I told him it wasn't negotiable. And that if, God forbid, the baby died, then I'd let him know that too. The rest is up to him.

A bit later he said he'd been missing hanging out with me, and there was a movie he'd like to see... I said that sounded great, but we'd have to stop being friends eventually. He was surprised at that, since I was being so friendly, and have always maintained friendships with ex's - something I'm very proud of. But I pointed out this is different: I'm not going to lie to my baby, when 'she' asks who her father is I'll tell her he was a friend, the right man to give me her, but not the right man to be her daddy. Hopefully by that stage I will have met the right man for that. He nodded and agreed I should lie, and I went on to say that I wouldn't lie - and I really didn't want to say "You know my friend who came round for coffee last week? He's your father." Pretty much told him he needs to either be out of our lives, or let her at least know from the start that he's her biological father. Don't think he'll choose that, because she'll see other children with their fathers and try to have that with him, which he wouldn't want. And I respect that. But he can't have his cake and eat it too.

My parents accept that he won't be involved, I'm sure it hurts them, but they understand completely. I was talking about it with them the day after I met up with him again, and said that it was a shame our friendship had an expiry date on it, sometime around baby being 18months or so, when she'd start to realise that he was someone who she recognised. Dad thought we should just call it quits now, but I disagreed at the time. I don't expect him to be involved, I'm under no illusions that he'll take one look and be swept up in joy and love at this person he's created. But I guess I kind of feel that it's one thing to say he doesn't want children when children are an abstract concept, even though my belly is getting bigger, but another to think it when you actually see it. I guess I want to give him the option of making an 'educated' decision of whether to be involved or not, once he's met his child. But on the other hand, since I don't believe he'll be involved, I know there'll be some pretty hard times for the child, accepting that her father didn't want her. Hopefully there'll be enough love in her life that she'll get through it ok, but it'd probably be easier for her if she knows that he never wanted children, and it's not really about her at all. But if she knows that he did meet her then decide not to be her daddy... I imagine that'd be harder for her to accept without destroying her sense of self worth.

Has anybody been in a similar situation, explaining to their child why their dad's not involved? Anything that worked or didn't? Was it harder for children to accept if they knew their father had met them even if they were just a baby? I'm going to let him do what he wants, but I still can 'manipulate' him (or make one option (him meeting her or not) more likely and easier) a bit by trying to continue our friendship or letting it fade out before the baby's born. Advice would be good!

I also had planned not to put his name on the birth certificate, so he wouldn't have to pay child support, and just live on what I earn and what the government gives us, as hard as it would be for me to say "I'm an immoral person who sleeps with random guys whose names I don't even know." - especially since it's such a lie. But he doesn't want the child, I do, abortion's legal in New Zealand so it seems wrong that he would choose abortion but be denied, and then have to pay up to 25% of his paycheck every week for the next 18years. I believe abortion's wrong, and that the child's rights should come first. But if abortion's legal then I can't justify the government making him pay. I think it'll just cause more stress than it's worth, and make him even less inclined to be nice to the child once she's old enough to meet him if she decides to (I'm thinking 18 or so). But I've heard they're pretty tough on women who don't put a name on the birth certificate, and go on about legal implications of not putting it on if you want. Don't want to go to jail, or crumble under the pressure and put it on...

I've also heard you can have the father's name removed form the birth certificate, but I imagine that takes time and I've heard it's about $7000 - more than I could afford. He could though, maybe that could be our deal - he doesn't have to pay child support but he has to pay that. It's money that's not going to me or the child, but to buy his freedom. Because apparently if I apply to get the child a passport, and his name's on the birth certificate I'd have to get his permission. And I imagine he wouldn't care at all, but would just view it as being hassled. And I'm not angry at him, I don't want him to be bothered or punished. I'm getting legal advice, but I'd love practical advice...

Nola - posted on 12/24/2008

I feel that in order to be called someone's "father", that person has responsibilities and has to be an active and present parent. In the case of myself and my daughter, the man who contributed physically to her conception, wanted to be more like father christmas than a real father, with occasional financial support, a present here and there and lots of lame excuses to not tell his wife that he conceived a child with another woman. I gave him a chance initially, despite his obvious part-time approach, because I didn't believe in myself enough to trust that I could do it on my own financially. In other words, I thought I needed the money from him to survive.

After going through a period of nagging for money when it's not paid on time and threatening with lawyers etc I realized that I really don't want anything to do with him because the whole drama was draining my energy. I felt he was stealing my quality time away from my daughter. It was not getting anywhere and I decided it's not worth putting us through such an ordeal just for a little bit of money. I also decided that my daughter will have a full-time father or no father, but none of this visiting once a year with a present. Then she'll miss him the rest of the time and she'll be heartbroken if he breaks promises to her, because that's how he is.

So, I decided that he will not be a part of our lives and ceased all contact with him. He very quickly and conveniently stopped the sporadic payments and never attempted to contact us again. That also confirmed to me that he doesn't really care about my daughter and just wanted to get out of paying and eventually having to deal with telling his wife the truth.

My daughter and I have been very blessed and we're surviving just fine without him. There's no fighting, no bad energy, just love and peace.

You can do it!!!

Jessica - posted on 12/24/2008

I am a single mother in every way, shape and form when it comes to my son. My on and off boyfriend at the time was on a business trip to Italy when I found out. When he returned I went to tell him and I come to find out he got married while he was there and get a job at Astars in France and was moving (he was already packing up his place when I arrived) there. He told me to abort and I was just shit out of luck. The sad part is in the end it is true, since it is an Italian company and not just an American company in France, I cannot collect child support. Believe me when I say I feel your pain.

Deb - posted on 12/24/2008

Welcome to the club...My son's father has been gone for 15 years...and I received no child support. Now my son is 19 and child support started coming thru with FMEP this June 2008 and will end in Feb 2009. It seems that it's just an everyday occurrence nowadays for Men to just up and leave. Keep positive no matter how much it hurts.
Maybe one day we will find happiness :)))

Ashley - posted on 12/22/2008

I have a daughter and her father (my bf of 3yrs) pretty much has nothing to do with us. We are still together but I am now living with my parents, they have taken care of me my whole pregnancy since he abandoned me. I know that I have to get help and its hard. I am forced to file for court ordered child support and at first I was really upset but then I realized that he isnt helping me, I am 21 and still in college. I had lots of debt and its tough! I am sorry that you arent receiving support either

Erin - posted on 12/22/2008

My daughter is 11 years old and she never met her father till she was 7. She has seen him maybe 4 times in her life, he lives out of state...He payed his child support for many years when she was a baby and we had no contact at all for years...He came back into her life 4 years ago but hasnt paid his support in those years at all...I have done the DNA things and the court thing but it gets messy when its a state to state case...He does send her presents now for her birthday and christmas because he has a fiance that loves my daughter and believes he should be involved but its hard when you never were and shes not a baby anymore...I think everyone should atleast try to get child support if they can and never stop calling your states child support inforcment maybe you will have more luck then most of us and atleast make him help you out...

Jennifer - posted on 12/22/2008

It's the worst growing epidemic in our country. I actually did a news story with our local tv station last year. If you pull the numbers of non payment, you probably ought to gear yourself up because it will make you ill. I was in court for 5 miserable years over everything you can possibly imagine. Every agency from Ohio to Kentucky, police, marshalls, counselors, CSB, attorneys, guardian et litem, etc.. Even now that we settled, he still lives in another state, pays when he can, but it's never quite enough or quite on time, and it will never be quite bad enough for anyone who can do anything to do anything. My daughter sees her dad for about 6 weeks a year, when she goes to his home. Of course, he usually is working out of town, so she probably sees him about 8 days a year in reality.



Hang on to your faith, and keep God close in your heart. He is faithful to care for His children!

Ashleigh - posted on 12/22/2008

I have a 3 yr old son who has never seen his father. He walked out on me the day i found out i was pregnant. Haven't seen or heard from him since. I am now married to a wonderful man who sees my son as his own. I know how it's feels to be the only one there for your child. Hang in there and keep trying your hardest everything will work out and you'll see someday that it was for the best and it only made you stronger!

Melanie - posted on 12/22/2008

My daughter is 9 years old and I have been getting child support almost all 9 years. I had to have the paternity test, go to court and all the legal stuff. He has only seen her twice. Once was to see what she looked like and the other time to ask if he could sign off on her. We haven't seen him in quite a while...and that is ok. You need to contact your local child support office and get things rolling if you haven't already.

Kristy - posted on 12/22/2008

I'm in the same boat as you for the most part. My ex will go years with out working and paying child support, then he'll work for a month or two and then stop again. It isnt anything that can be counted on. As for seeing him, we see him maybe once every 3 years and that is just fine by me:) :My girls were 2, 1, and a new born when he left, so they dont have any separation issues. I have been single since 2001 when the divorce was final, and I have to say even without the $ help, things have been so much better since he left. No more of the DRAMA!!



So, have you found many other responses? I have been curious about this, too. I think there are probably many of us out there. Unfortunately. It can be hard, the least they could do is help support the children they helped bring into this world. Someday, I firmly believe, they will be accountable to God for their lack of support.

Sam - posted on 12/22/2008

Hi. I last saw my ex husband may 05. My son was born Dec 05. My ex husband hasnt seen him once and ive only had 2 payments of child support in the past 3 years. Every time they find him he just leaves the job and gets another one. But my son doesnt want or need for anything. i provide it all for him and have done since he was born 3 years ago.

Deanna - posted on 12/21/2008

Well I got a check! It was a lousy $57.69. But hey I guess something is better than nothing, right? Hopefully this is just the beginning of many more child support payments, but I ain't gonna hold my breath.

Nicole - posted on 12/20/2008

Hi, I have a 7 year old daughter who see's her father whenever it's convienent for him (maybe once or twice a month) and I get no financial support from him. To me, he gave me everything I could ever want (my daughter) plus, this way I don't have to see or talk to him. Also I know it would be a battle I would eventually give up on, he won't pay.

Victoria - posted on 12/17/2008

My kids are 7 and 8. I have never recieved child support and haven't seen my ex-husband for 8 years. Yep, you got it, he took off when my dd was 6 months old and I had just found out and was pregnant again. It's ok though, we are better off without him!!!

Krista - posted on 12/17/2008

My daughter is 5 and I haven't spoken to, or seen her father since I was 7 months pregnant. I know he is in the same state, but there has been no contact. I am torn about going after child support. On one hand I could use the money and it would allow me to do so much more for her. On the other hand, I don't want that to be the reason he is involved in her life. I would never stand between my daughter and her father, support or not. I know how important my father was to me. If there was abuse of any kind, that would be a different story, but her father isn't that kind of man...I don't think anyway. My heart aches for my daughter because she asks about him and says she misses him all the time. Every since she was about 2 1/2 she has asked about him, but within the last year she has begun to express how much she wants to know him. I never say anything bad about him, only that he decided he didn't want to be with us and I no longer know where he is. I just don't understand how a person can walk this earth knowing there is a piece of them out there somewhere and they may need them. I pray that some day he will come to his senses and reach out to her. I know he knows where to find us. I was so proud of her last night. She was getting into the bath tub and she said to me, "I miss my Daddy, but I guess that's his choice. It's just you and me Mom. I love you for being my Mommy and I love being your little girl." Talk about getting all choked up! We do fine without him and I wouldn't trade my little girl for anything in the world...she's the best gift he ever gave me.

Regina - posted on 12/17/2008

I have a dream of a daughter, Umi, of two years old. The relationship with her father ended the day I found out I was pregnant. A few months ago I tried to establish a relationship between Umi and her father, but he clearly is not up to it. So he won't play any role in her life till maybe the moment she asks to meet him ... No love, no support ..

Dawn - posted on 12/17/2008

I have 2 boys (now ages 14 and 11) with the same father and we have been apart since 1989. I have a court order for child support since 2002. Since then I have received about 10 pymts and he would only see the boys when it was good for him. He now gets them for 2 weeks in the summer and that is it!

Melanie - posted on 12/17/2008

WOW. So it's not just me. My ex-husband went up to Joburg to seek his fortune, and he's now sitting without any work loafing off his family and NOT paying maintenenace. My daughter doesn't know who her daddy is, and at the age of 4 it's difficult for her, because kids are making comments and asking questions of each other, to which she has no reply. I've had to teach her to say that her daddy is in Johannesburg, but she obviously doesn't know what that means... She is the most beautiful, wonderful child, and it's his loss that he's not hear to watch her grow. If I could do overs, I would do everything exactly the same, cos I wouldn't want to swap her for anything ...

Rebecca - posted on 12/16/2008

My daughter still sees her fatlher but I would't say he is active in her life at all! I haven't been receiving any child support which in turns hurts her because my "extra" money is now going to pay for all of her expenses. Which means there won't be much of a Christmas at our house this year. Thank God for my fiance!

Nikki - posted on 12/16/2008

The father of my son, also my ex-fiance, was really hands-on when we were together. But when our boy was six-months old he succumbed to a long term battle with drug addiction and I was forced to leave him. However, I grew up without my dad and was adamant my baby wouldn't go through that same pain. We took turns having Jimmy for a while, without an official custody agreement. Nick (the ex) would have him for a month, then I would take him for two. This went on for about six months until Nick took Jimmy away from me to NSW and swore I'd never see him again. After much trauma and help from my friends, I got my son back. That was almost 18-months ago and I haven't heard a peep from him since. It's been on my list of things to do to get child support but part of me doesn't want to because I'm scared it'll stir everything up again. I don't know whether a few more dollars a week is worth the extra turmoil.

Trish - posted on 12/16/2008

My ex is non-active in our daughter's life. After he left me for a girl 22 younger then himself I moved 200 miles away in order to give my daughter a better life. He pays 350.00 per month but not a penny more. I am taking him for more support and 2/3 of the cost for her activities like skating, horseback riding and gymnastics. My ex makes good money but I guess supporting his teenage GF and now paying for a wedding is sucking out his cash flow. He is not a bad guy, I act as my own lawyer (loads of paperwork) so he forks out $$$ for a lawyer. I could go on with taking him to task for many years!

Katie - posted on 12/16/2008

gosh my baby daddy story is long and dramafied. he was in his life on again off again for a while. he didn't even truly acknowledge that i was prego untill i was 5 months. and then he was around for a few months and then not and back and forth. basically whenever his girlfriend would let him..or he felt like getting out of bed on the day he was supposed to visit (seriously) .i got about 2 months worth of support in the beginning he disappeared for 4 months came back and then disappeared again...took off to the other side of the country and hasn't seen or even called to ask about his kid since june. i say oh well. i don't want or need anything from him. and frankly my son is better off without him at this point. while support would be nice its just not worth it. he can't hold a job and he doesn't ever have a check for it to be garnished from so it wouldn't matter anyways. im not looking to open up that can of worms...it would just cause drama that has finally left our lives. my son does not need to be subjected to his father's lifestyle nor the people with whom he chooses to associate. my son's father's parents are both involved in my son's life...and they are welcome to be they are awesome people and i see no harm in that. i guess when the time comes i will answer the questions i need to regarding my son's father...and if my son wishes help him get in contact with him...although i don't see that happening. but as for now no amount of money is worth bringing that man back into our lives

Becky - posted on 12/16/2008

Ohh and this is the same man that told me when I was 4 months pregnant that the only person he would love is his mother! And that when he looked at me all he saw was responsiblity!! hahaha!! I don't want my son growing up around him! JERK!! My son has 3 men in his life that look out for him ..my dad and 2 brothers and they love it! So I am happy without the immature 31yr old! lol

Becky - posted on 12/16/2008

My son has only seen his father twice...and that was when he was 11days old and 3 months old..since then he hasn't come around. I too don't ask for child support..mainly cause I don't need his money. If he wants to see his son I have always told him he knows my # and where I work nothing changed. Last I had heard he was engaged to a girl that he got pregnant...wouldn't be surprised if he leaves her too!

Melissa - posted on 12/16/2008

I adopted my daughter as a single parent, so I guess I fit in this category... except, there is no "dad" out there (except bio) to deal with.

Amy - posted on 12/14/2008

Yeah, that is one of the unfortunate results of this process, but I'm in a Catch-22 situation. If I DON'T go through this process, my payments get cut to a bare minimum. If I DO go through this process, I get child support AND my payments get increased BUT her father's name gets put on her birth certificate and he gets the chance to apply for visitation, etc
I can't afford not to do this.

Deanna - posted on 12/14/2008

Amy, I don't know how it works there. But I do know that when I had a court ordered DNA done and a child support issue was ordered Summer's dad was put on her birth certificate. I was unhappy about that but I had no choice. I was also asked if I wanted to change Summer's last name (she carries my maiden name and always will). There was no way I was going to change her last name to his since he refuses to acknowledge her.

Keely - posted on 12/14/2008

My sons father has never seen him!! Honestly I did not think that that would be the case, but I am an idealist and a dreamer!! I thought that once Lane was here that his father would want to see him and be active in his life!! WRONG!! I do not understand and I have decided that it is not my job to understand!! My job is to just be the best mother that I can be!! He doesn't pay child support either, but the attorney generals office has caught on and apparently issued a wage withholding to his employer!! We will see how that goes!!

Summer - posted on 12/14/2008

My son's father only saw him twice until he was 18 months old, then we had a paternity test and he was ordered to pay child support. He will pay his support for awhile and then not have a job for awhile, then pay again for awhile, and so on. He just had another son with another girl and he lives with that son, his little brother, who he has custody of, and her son. Its funny to me that he spends his life surrounded by children but doesn't have time of day for his firstborn. He sees him maybe once a month. Our son is 5 1/2. Quincy will understand as he grows older and will have to come to his own conclusion about his father... but I'm pretty sure I know what he'll come to.

Amy - posted on 12/14/2008

My daughter's father has only ever seen her once, when she was 3months old. That was 2 years ago. He doesn't pay child support and isn't on her birth certificate, but I'm in the process of getting a court-ordered paternity test so that he can be compelled to pay child support.
I'm lucky, however, because of the social security system (centrelink) here in Australia, if he doesn't work, and therefore has to money to give as child support, the government will pay me child support on his behalf until he does work.
I just have to go through this awful court process first...

Deanna - posted on 12/13/2008

Jennifer, be grateful that your son's "father" isn't in his life. Summer's "father" has never seen her either and I've always said that every second that he wastes not seeing her is just one more second that I have with her. He has no idea what he is missing. I've come to the conclusion that's it's not my fault. It's his fault for being an idiot. I don't (and as she gets older I won't) bad mouth him in front of her but if she asks me I'm going to tell her the truth about him. If she ends up hating him then so be it. He has no one to blame but himself.

Jennifer - posted on 12/12/2008

I haven't seen hide nor hair of my son's "father" since a month or so after I found out I was pregnant. He wrote me a long, very idiotic, letter about how he never wants to have anything to do with me or my son, about how I should give my son up for adoption and how disappointed he is in me, that I went to DHHS about child support. I do receive child support, though. The state takes it from his paycheck every week, he has no choice. Luckily, he has not decided to job hop or hide. He has never met my son.

Bobbi - posted on 12/12/2008

Going a little over two years with no child support! He's keeps moving so he won't get served!!!

Xoxi - posted on 12/12/2008

My daughter has seen her father 3 times in 6 1/2 years. He calls sporadically and has never offered any child support of any kind, ever. I continue to be honest with my daughter and let her know how special she is and that his behavior has nothing to do with her.

Melissa - posted on 12/12/2008

Oh you should definitely go after him for child support! My son is 20 months and we haven't seen his father since he was one month. We broke up when I was 3 months pregnant. Didn't see or talk to him until after Spencer was born. Then I found out he was having another baby so I pretty much told him that I can't keep him from Spencer but we'd be fine without him. I did however go to court for child support. Does't mean he pays it though.

Christine - posted on 12/11/2008

I have an 18 month old and his dad has only seen him 3 times, all half hour visits. I do however get child support wich im obviously lucky for. But my son has never met his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins ect. Im not even sure they know he exists. Thats the saddest part for me, not only has he been rejected by his own dad but hes also being denied the right to get to know his family. Maybe if they were criminals or abusers I would be able to understand but there is no good reason for any of them to not be involved. I hope I can do a good enough job for the both of us!

Deanna - posted on 12/11/2008

Sad thing is the law needs to be harsher for non payment of support. I have an order though the state of Florida where the ex and I both used to reside. He moved back home to Illinois thinking he could escape the order but Florida found him again after he got a new job. They then sent an Income Deduction Order to his job.. The ex had two weeks to respond... If he didn't respond yet another order was sent and he had ANOTHER two weeks and if he the ex didn't respond to the second order then yet ANOTHER order is sent and again he gets 2 weeks to respond.. If he doesn't respond after that two weeks they then think about yanking his driver's license. So all total the state wastes 6 weeks jacking around with him when in fact the first order should have been enough... If the jerk didn't respond then hey too bad for his behind and they should yank his driver's license and then he should go to jail.



I just got a job after being out of work for 2 weeks and I'm working like a dog to support my daughter because he's a lazy no good bum who has two other children that he cares about more. I even found his MySpace page in which he has a picture of himself and his two other kids in which he captioned that pic something like "Two of the reasons I will never give up." Ummmm.. well hello you have three children not two. Funny how he can pay for the first two but not his youngest.



I guess I'm just upset with the system. It's sad that nothing more can be done. The system sucks and we as the custodial/primary caretakers are left to struggle because the system just doesn't care.

Tammy - posted on 12/11/2008

I replied earlier..but I should mention that my oldest daughter does see her dad every other weekend he does pay child support, she has her own room ect at his house..sadley it affects my oldest middle two cause their dad lives in our town where as her dad doesnt.. and he comes if shes sick if their is a hospital visit , even to come out for plays and parent teacher...In regards to the ex that isnt paying the ministry wont touch him..I am hoping when I can afford the divirce I can take care of the child support issues to....Stay strong ladies...we have the hardest job in the world..but we get in the end the best benifits!!!!

Christine - posted on 12/11/2008

This is so sad to read.....so many Fathers being useless. Well I am in the same boat. I have 2 sons one is 2 and one is 11 months. There father didn't come to my seconds birth and it's been almost a year since he has seen them. I haven't gotten any child support and he actually owes me so much money that I doubt I will ever see it. I will be going and getting child support and of course all the back pay for this last year. My problem is I tend to feel sorry for him at times cause he acts as though he wishes he could pay me but I feel like I do it so he needs to. Both of our kids were planned and it really is a sad turn of events. I have a new guy in my life now and we are doing a long distance thing till the summer. I feel alone alot though and I wish my friends would call me and check in with me. It's tough but I just pull through. Best of luck to all of you.

Kristy - posted on 12/10/2008

I found out that my ex fiance was into a lot of scams and so I left him when I was 5 months pregnant. I haven't heard from him in almost a year now, he has paid nothing for my son. I have had many people looking into this and what has now been found out was that he was using me to get into Canada. I now believe this because the one time he made contact with me was to get my sons birth certificate (didn't give it to him). And haven't heard from him since. But he did leave me with the best gift, a beautiful baby boy!

Michele - posted on 12/10/2008

I have been divorced for 10 years. My children have no contact with their father. In the begining it was because he didn't want to have anything to do with them but now that he is older he wants a relationship with them (they're 15 and 14). They don't want to see him. They have gone so far as to change their last names to my maiden name. It is incredibly hard. Do you have family that can help? My dad has stepped in as the male role model and does "father" type things with my girls. He even joined Girl Scouts so he could go on field trips with them. I don't really have any advice for child support. I did take my ex-husband to court and some of the child support is taken out of his pay check. A year ago the child suport was increased and the court thinks he will pay the increase on his own. Some times he does and some times he doesn't.

Amanda - posted on 12/10/2008

Hi, I am a single mom of a beautiful 6yr old daugher and her father left our lives when she was wks old. We have not seen him nor do I get any support, but God has been good to me and helped me through it all.

Julie - posted on 12/10/2008

I have a three and a half year old son. I wised up when he was 11 months old and asked my husband to leave after 6 months of marriage (more than three years together prior). He has gone up to four months between visits, all are supervised because he was suicidal and has bipolar, which he refuses to take meds for. The only reason I get child support is because it his taken from his check, but it is currently $13k in arrears.

Kim - posted on 12/10/2008

I have a child support order in place. The state has found him. The state continues to find him. Each time the child support order is enforced, he changes jobs. He has even now gone to jail for his first child in order to get out of paying his child support. This last year I was awarded his tax return and bonus government check, which went directly to the state and we never saw any of it since I was getting assistance. I am ok with that. What I am not ok with is people thinking that I am not trying to get what my children deserve. They see that I am fighting to make their life better with or without his help. It is a consent struggle to make ends meet, but i am doing it. I am still persuing child support payments for them. I guess what I am trying to get across to some people is don't assume that we are not doing anything to get the child support that our children are entitled to.

Bel - posted on 12/09/2008

Its hard to do it all alone, i think any woman in this situation should claim child support.

Tammy - posted on 12/09/2008

Im a single mother of 4 kids two of each.. My last three all have the same dad split may 05 and last time he saw them dec 05. he got someone else pregnant and the baby was born may 08.. he has not seen any of these children or payed any child support for them.