Child Support & Custody Issues

Erica - posted on 06/02/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I live in Los Angeles California and I just filed child support against my son's father. He had the nerve to put on facebook that he is in a relationship with his his 10 year old daughters mother. I have no desire to be with and could care less that they are a couple other than the fact I feel that he is sandbagging me with what he can contribute. If he is with her he is not paying rent or the child support order he has with her kid. He has consistantly asked me not to file but the $100 dollars an month he has given me since he was born is not cutting it! He would always tell me how broke he was and I was doing better than him so I felt bad. Now I am doing bad and since he lives in NY I have no way to verify his situation. I just filed the paper and am kinda getting nervous that his first baby's mama will tell him to try to get joint custody. My question is since I have never lived in NY and he has never lived in CA would he be able to get joint custody? I want sole custody with him having visitation but not in NY! My son is 4 years old and whenever I have have left Logan there he comes back saying he hates me and wants to live in NY and other awful things. I tried to talk to my ex and tell him I don't talk about him negatively in front of our child and could he do the same but he told me "he can say what he wants to say". The time before that my son's dad got jailed and they where like can you come back and get him? When I told them I didn't have the money his mother brought him back. I don't want my baby out there being passed from family member to family member in order for him to be taken care of while he is out there. He has come back with with cuts on his face and a rash in his butt that no one could tell me anything about. When I went with him and stayed and it was fine. I told my ex he could no longer go without me. So he visits here. Do you think the court will make me let him go to NY by himself? I just don't want to send him alone anymore and can't afford to take him. They treat him like a vacation kid and let him do, eat and sleep whenever he wants. He comes back nuts and it take me months to get back to normal. I don't want to keep him form his dad but he is not stable in NY so I don't want to send him to that either. Any advise would help? I don't know what to do?
Thanks
Erica

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Sam - posted on 06/02/2010

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I think that because your son's father was jailed, he won't be able to get joint custody (depending on what he was jailed for) I think that visitation rights would be made but ultimately it is down to your child whether he wants to go!! They would not let a 4 year old travel alone and if you write down the incidents where he has been injured and take pictures of these injuries it will help your case fi the father wants to be a pain. I know it seems quite extreme but you have to take whatever means necessary to keep your child safe. If you were to explain tot he courts (if it gets that far) about the behaviour of your son after visits and things like that it will go in your favour. I think tho that they won't make a child travel all that distance for a short weekend, I think that it would more be like on holidays from school and things like that!! As for child maintenance depending on what your ex does will depend on what he has to pay...if he is in a good paying job then that is fine but if he is self employed or anything like that then the only figures the CSA can go on are the ones that he gives to them, or they can look at the tax year records, which should dtill be handy as the tax year just ended and then take a percentage from that!!! I'm not an expert on the matter and you may get some better advice but I hope what I have said helps you in a little way.

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