Child Support Lowered NOW dad will stop seeing son. FRUSTRATED!!!

Lisa - posted on 07/24/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

3

5

My son's father just took me back to court this week and was able to get his child support lowered. I know he will stop seeing our son now. UGH! It all started in 2008. He has had me in court 6 times since then. My sons father saw him maybe 12 times in 7 years on the average of 3 hours each time. Well in 2008 he took me back to court to have support lowered. Well they raised it $500. He was angry. So he decided he wanted to see our son. In April of 2009 he took me to family court for visitation. He said he wanted him every other weekend from Friday to Sunday and holidays. I said no because our son doesnt know you with mediator help I agreed to once a week pick up from school and every other Saturday from 9 to 6. We would do this until June. If he didnt miss any visits he could start taking our son over night. Well he is married now and has 2 daughters with wife. Our son has never met them because the wife doesnt want our son in their life. The same day we went to child support court and he thought the judge would lower the support because he has visitation now. The judge asked me when the last time he saw our son I told him July of last year. The judge gave him 5% time with him. Well June came and went last year and no overnight visit because the wife wouldnt let him. The judge ordered us back last september for review and to see if visits had happened. I said yes but no overnight stays. Well ex's wife went to Mexico in September with kids. Our son had an overnight visit in September, 2 overnights in Oct, one in December. Christmas he was no show and no phone call. It January we went back to mediation for us to change overnight to just saturday to sunday every other weekend. He did that until Mothers day weekend this year. The wife is still in Mexico. Our son doesnt want to go with him overnight anymore since Mothers Day weekend. He just wants to go for a few hours. He wont get out of my car when i take him to drop off. His dad tells him we will go somewhere fun like Disneyland or anywhere you want and our son wont go. I son is ADHD. Since Mothers day weekend he may have spent 48 hours since then. I know as soon as the wife comes back their wont be any more overnight visits even though my son isnt going overnight right now. But what infuriates me is as soon as the wife comes back the option wont be there and my child support is based on him having him 10% of the time. I guess I just have to wait out the 6 months to take him back to court. I consider myself lucky because many woman have ex's that are deadbeats. I use to have a deadbeat the first year of our sons life until I got DCSS involved. They dont mess around her in California. They take Drivers license, negative rating credit report and bench warrants.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

5 Comments

View replies by

Jennifer - posted on 07/31/2010

47

31

LEISA I COMPLETLY UNDERSTAND UR FEELINGS I HAVE BEEN IN UR SHOES, JUST KEEP UR HEAD UP STAY STRONG FOR UR LITTLE ANGEL AND ALWAYS REMBER UR SON LOVES U, AND HE WILL ALWAYS REMBER U CAUSE U WHERE ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM, JUST SOMETHING I WANTED TO SHARE CAUSE THATS WHAT I HEAR ALL THE TIME I AM A SINGLE MOTHER WITH 3 KIDS 1 BOY AND 2 GIRLS BEST WISHES TO U JENN

Karmi - posted on 07/29/2010

185

42

I am in the same boat as Kimberly. My son's father has threatened to take me to court forever, but now the dumbass is in prison and still threatens. I would tell the court that it is the stepmom that won't let your son around. And that the dad does it cause he does'nt want to pay money. I would honeslty tell the dad to sign over rights so he won't have to pay. I would hate for my son to have to go through that, especially since he already shows you that he doesn't want to go with his dad.

Amanda - posted on 07/28/2010

4

0

I hear you! they do the same in Oregon to but man waiting to get it going is rough! I'm stressing about back to school clothes looking supposed to ge the first garnishment next month yay!

Amanda - posted on 07/27/2010

217

2

I have a deadbeat ex too! All though I haven't heard from him in 8 months. The last time I heard was on facebook. I only talked to him cause I needed family medical history. He turned it into calling me names and telling me it was my fault because my family came first and I wouldn't marry him till my brother came back from Afganistan. COME ON he is my only brother and I wouldn't get married without him I see no problem in that. But my son is gonna be three and hasn't seen him since he was three months so I am not really worried. You just have to hang in there your son is telling you somethings wrong. I don't know what the age in California is, but in Canada once they are 12 they can tell the judge who they want to live with. So I would look into that. Then your son can at least get a chance to tell the judge how he feels and why. It is hard at any age to get their true feelings out but with ADHD it does make it harder. Just a question, know it sounds weird, but does your son play sports? I use to coach swimming and found that it helped with ADHD. I coached one girl with ADHD and she really improved with school and social skill. It was hard, but it made her focus. I am not saying put him in swimming but something organized to help him. If he is in a sport then tell his dad that to prove to his son he really is there for him to come to his games. On days when it was hard for me while going through court I would just think about my son and all the wonderful times we have had and all the times we will have. But there are many moms out there in our shoes and we are all here to lean on, that what this site is all about!

Kimberly - posted on 07/27/2010

709

64

I hear ya. I have a dead beat ex that doesn't even ask about my son. He only threatens to go for custody and what not because he wants to scare me.