Continuous problems with Father of my children

Rebekh - posted on 11/28/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have 3 children all by the same man, We were going to get married until I found out he was cheating. He acted as if it weren't an issue so the relationship went south, Physical abuse, stalking, and harassment began. I ended the relationship, finished my education, and was promoted at my job. "father" lives 1/2 down the street and this year he's only seen our kids 3/11 months about to start 3/12 months. He's left our children at daycare on days he was suppose to pick them up. We currently have no child custody agreement. I want to get an agreement because I don't think it's fair for him not not pick up our children when he doesn't feel like it. I will be moving out of state between JAn and Feb due to a job promotion.

1. Should I wait to pursue the custody agreement after I move?
2. what are the possibilities of me being granted full daycare at his expense during the summer since he's hardly involved?

I think the situation is unfair because he's 13 years older than me and I know I made the decisions and have to deal with the consequences. I get tired of the stuff he's always doing. He's always telling people and his family lies about me and is so critical and rude to me. I've been raising our children on my own with very, very little help from him if any. Then he has the nerve to tell me I'm doing a bad job.

Also, can I request in the custody agreement that he is not allowed to talk negatively in front of or to my children about me? Because he keeps saying he can't wait until their older so he can tell them what type of person I am. I don't slander his name or talk badly about him to people. I still treat him with respect even though I don't think he deserves it. HELP!

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5 Comments

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Silvia - posted on 12/22/2011

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he s talking bad bout you because hes trying to hurt you. Also he knows that you are definitely capable of being independent. I think you should take him to court and make him pay child support. I hope things get better for you.

Ayana - posted on 12/18/2011

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I think you should move and just continue raising your children and when he is ready to see his kids he will try and find you and take you to court. At that moment you should have all your paper work from daycare stating he didn't pick up kids or if you filed a report on him about abuse just pretty much everything that shows his character.

Lindsey - posted on 12/14/2011

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I think you should not wait after you move.Go to court as soon as possible and tell the judge the father has done all the negative stuff to you. You can out a restraining order on the father and if it works,you can get 100% percwnt custody of the child. You just need proof of his stalking and everything else he has done to you. You can ask the judge to give you a custody argreement.You can ask the judge anything you want. Just plan ahead before you stand infront of the judge.I am currently going through court to decide custody of my two children.

Luvmia - posted on 12/12/2011

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Congratulations on being on your "A" game which landed you education and a promotion! Your kids' father just is bitter because you made it despite the things he has been doing to try to stop you from succeeding. In reference to your questions, I STRONGLY suggest that you contact a lawyer for a free consultation only because they know how to win a custody case. To help your case, get notarized statements from the daycare providers detailing how he has not picked up the kids. This hopefully will show his negligence. Also have any police reports and witness statements to any abuse inflicted by him on you and your kids. Also get the daycare to give you a notarized statement of how much daycare costs you pay and make sure you have receipts so you can apply for child support.



I hope everything works out for you. And keep doing well! Please let me know how your move goes. I am strongly considering moving to Raleigh, North Carolina to get away from the drama of my ex as well as get a new start.

Kkaytlynn - posted on 11/28/2011

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You poor thing. I agree you should get custody and move away from him. She shouln't treat you like that. I am a single mom at 14 and my boyfriend would never ever treat me like that. We have our differences, we agru sometimes but she doesn't go behind my back and say thing about me and my child.