Custody

Julisa - posted on 10/25/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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Best schedule for 1 year old between both parents, any suggestions please???

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Catherine - posted on 10/26/2010

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For a one year old, a day visit a week seems appropriate but how is the relationship between the two of you and also him and the child?

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Alisha - posted on 11/06/2010

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It all depends on the parents schedules?! My daughter is almost 5 and sees her dad every other weekend. He always says he wants more time but never follows through so it is what it is. He also hasn't made the best decisions regarding her safety so that really concerns me and personally I'd rather have her with me. It depends on what you and the dad want and when you're working or in school. I'd say the best is to work it out with him but if you can't then you may have to go to mediation and worse, court after that where a judge will decide what's best. Usually it can get worked out between you two or in mediation if you are civil towards each other. It will be a rough road dear raising a child in 2 different households, and to me that's the hardest thing. There are days when my daughter cries and asks why her dad's not visiting her or she will say she misses him so much and it's heartbreaking. He only lives like 10 minutes away and I am not going to make any excuses for him but I also won't tell her bad things about him. I want her to figure out how he is on her own and it's really hard! I'm glad she has me and I have her, I wouldn't change that!

Renee - posted on 10/28/2010

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All I can say is give him a chance to get to know her. Pick a day during the week that you would like off and let him have her, but be available to him in case he does have issues. When you first had her you were learning also. Trust me you will enjoy the breaks plus she deserves to have both parents in her life. And don't pay no attention to what other fathers have or hasn't done, because that doesn't matter. Good luck and be a good mom...

Stephanie - posted on 10/27/2010

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Get yourself an awesome local lawyer who knows the judges... I know it costs money, but spend what you have to if you feel strongly about having primary physical custody. Put in your settlement or court order how visitation can change/increase when your child is older, such as overnights at 3 or 4, etc. But seriously, a lawyer and a family mediator is in your best interest. Remember that "legal" custody can be shared even if "physical" custody is not.... for me, physical custody was really important, and I'm on pretty darn good terms with the dad. I encourage overnights and visits now.

hugs

steph

Amber - posted on 10/27/2010

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I am going through the same thing with my sons father. My son just turned three and his father hasnt been in his life and hasnt paid for anything since he has been born. Im asking for his father to work for his vistitaion because if a childs schedule is disturbed by someone that they arent familar with it will cause problems in their emotional stability. And split the holidays they way you think they should be shared. There worst thing that would happen is the judge will tell you no. Just remember that if the father doesnt show up for the visitation or things happen during vistits that arent acceptable you can take him back to court to get everything resolved. I wish you the best of luck!!!

Marissa - posted on 10/27/2010

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when my daughter turned one.. he got every monday 4-7 and wednesday 4-7 and every 3 to 10 the next morning friday over night.. for about 6 months so they could get to know each other.. then it went to monday 3-8 and every friday 9 to 9 the next morning.. and now that she is two he gets every monday 4-9 the next morning and every other weekend 9 friday morning to 9 sunday morning..

if you go into court with an reasonable custody agreement it usually helps out alot.. and address a child need stablity( they dont need to feel like they are bouncing back in forward) and the best interest of the child.

DELLARECE - posted on 10/27/2010

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To Caitlin Brandon, i would say 5 hours away may not seem like a lot of time, but it is, my advice to you, is if your not working or even if you are, consult with your child's father as to working out a time best suited for both of you, seeing that distance maybe a factor. discuss with him the time that would suit both of you best for him to spend time with the child, either take the child to him or he comes to spend time with the child, that way both of you would share the responsibility in the raising of the child. am not making excuses for the father, but it seems as if the distance is playing a major factor with him not seeing the kid, coupled with his work constraints. on the other hand, its his child also cause you didnt make it by yourself, but it is his job to be responsible to make time to be with the child.

Amanda - posted on 10/26/2010

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With him being so young the judge might consider a two or three times a week schedule with overnight visits being held off til the baby is older. however you do have to give him access to the baby.

Caitlin - posted on 10/26/2010

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my babies dad lives 5 hours away and he has only seen him once...since he got a visitation order he has missed every one, and been late on many child support payments. my son is almost a year now, and he said when that ahppens hes taking me for overnights..based on the above information do u think that will happen>?

DELLARECE - posted on 10/26/2010

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BOTH PERSONS HAS TO ESTABLISH A GOOD WORKING RELATIONSHIP IN ORDER FOR THE CUSTODY TO WORK. BOTH PARTIES MUST BE SYMPATHETIC TO EACH OTHER'S NEEDS AS YOU HAVE TO PUT THE CHILD/CHILDREN'S NEED FIRST. MOTHER HAS TO GIVE THE FATHER ENOUGH TIME TO SPEND WITH HIS CHILD/REN AS WELL AS FATHER MUST GIVE MOTHER ENOUGH TIME TO SPEND WITH HER CHILD/REN. ONCE THIS IS ESTABLISH, THEN THERE WOULD BE NO PROBLEMS.

Christina - posted on 10/26/2010

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How many times has he seen her? Chances are he will be granted every other weekend, or two days a week. That is standard custody.

Rebecca - posted on 10/26/2010

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i am going thru court now with my nearly 16 month old, my babys father is into drugs and his drug dealing gf has sent me threatning emails, and he is getting 2 days a week supervised visits at a contact centre, if you would like to know a more detailed story to help you out what he would likely to get feel free to inbox me and ill let you know..

Maricela - posted on 10/25/2010

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Denae has a point, COURTS will do whats in the best interest of a child, but that to them means time with both parents unless physically proven unfit

Maricela - posted on 10/25/2010

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I got sole custody of both our daughters through juvenile court because of what he did to our oldest..He got visitations and our youngest was only a few months at the time and the actually divorce judge said i couldnt do anything about it. so to some judges age doesnt matter..If you cant physically prove he is an unfit parent you have to agree..My ex-husband gets our girls evry other weekend only...Good luck and GOD bless, in the end men that cant handle their children will give up, trust in god

Denae - posted on 10/25/2010

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I have a one year old. My sons dad has met him twice, and i think basically why he wont see him is because I have made it clear he has to get to know him before I will let him leave with him alone. He wont put in the time, and has made theats of court. But a child that young needs their mother especially if you have been the main care giver. Since he already knows her, i would suggest getting him to take her for a few hours every few days until they are both comfortable to spend long periods of time together. Courts will do whats in the best interest for the child.

Julisa - posted on 10/25/2010

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he doesnt know her much, wont do much with her, doesnt know her schedule. Basically is a stranger to her but is fighting me in court for 50/50.

Leah - posted on 10/25/2010

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Dependes on what you feel is right, and what you feel the father can handle. I know every other weekend is a good get away for mom and good for the father-child relationship.

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