Custody??? Do you have to go through court to get full custody as a single mother?

Leigh - posted on 11/09/2012

Its not worth the stress to argue really. My mother told me that I didnt have to have children. I felt mad. I felt she was bad and anti-religious. Another thing people argue of. I was confused. Did she love me or not? Why would she say that? That was at age 18. Now at age 41, oh I see. Then again, if I hadn't, I wouldn't have learnt life. Did I need to? How many people do we all argue with in a week? Just do the best you can, fight for your own rights, and if you fail, its okay too, its all part of learning. Enjoy what is positive in your life, and make your time with your child enjoyable, and communicate to lawyers in the interest of the child and of your concerns, since the child is vulnerable and you and your partner are not. If you feel vulnerable by abuse, bullying, violence and attack, go into the police station, and say you want to talk to a community officer in regards to how you can deal with the situation-instead of laying complaint with them. The police are experts at councelling and behavioural matters. This is their job to learn themselves. I think they are better than councellors, although I shouldnt say. In life, we always get knocked down, it never stops, so we may as well not stress out too much each time, but rather crap is part of life.

Heather - posted on 11/08/2012

It depends on the state you live in, but in most: Absent a court order, for a child born out of wedlock, custody falls with the mother. If he takes your son, it is a criminal offense "custodial interference". In my state, that is a misdemenor if the child is returned within 24 hours.

BUT be aware that if he chooses to sue for custody, he will have an equal shot of getting it. I was advised to seek full custody by my attorney through the courts, and I didnt. I figured that I already had custody through default and he could never prove I was unfit. My son was 4 yrs old also- he sued me for custody and won shared custody.

Leigh - posted on 11/07/2012

People go to court for all kinds of reasons in relation to their children. When there is a breakup, some women take the man to court for nonpayment, arriving late, not arriving at all. Some cases are shortly over, and some continue on. It depends on peoples actions, and what angers people to what they want as justice. And what the Judge thinks is Justice.

Some people tell lies, making situations worse.

The court looks at the child as the families. No-one owns the child. The courts are similar to the weak League of Nations. Once a paper is awarded and stamped, it means nothing. Police, yes, overturn it and say, wait for court, and lawyers argue of police. This means, as with anything in life, nothing is guaranteed.

My lesson was to appreciate the here and now. I lived in fear, affecting my emotions, and stress, and anger of how a child can be treated in this society. What counts is always being a mother, and having precious times with your child, and being there in the best emotional state you can be in for them.

It will never be understood by men, how women treat children differently, and protect and nurture them. Most fathers seem to be boys, having tantrums, wanting parties.

Danielle - posted on 11/05/2012

you have a good case cos your son lives with you and he don't pay maintenance but the only problem is if he is on the birth certificate he has parenteral rights. and there is no getting around them rights unless you give concrete evidence to a judge that this person is not a suitable factor as a father. i can tell you now how hard that is cos i'm doing it at min, my ex is a psychopath

Maria - posted on 11/02/2012

In the meantime another mom (who is in a similar situation with a disappearing father to her baby) put this together for anyone interested. It's to help moms like us. Feel free to pay it forward: A petition to fight fatherlessness -- please sign and RT http://t.co/cvD0gx9S

Thank you.

Maria - posted on 11/02/2012

Wow! That's fantastic! If both parents aren't active participants and actually plugged in to the child(ren) it's better that the ONE have all the legal rights. Good for you. Thanks for sharing!

Elizabeth - posted on 11/02/2012

@ Kelly, Man I wish I lived in Wisconsin!!!!

Kelly - posted on 11/02/2012

In my state, Wisconsin. The father has no rights to the child just because he is on the birth certificate, unless you were married at the time of birth. In order to get any rights he has to go through the courts. My son's father and I signed a paper to get his name on the birth certificate, after it was done i received a letter stating the father's name is now on the birth certificate but he does not have any rights to the child, it said all rights go to the mother unless there is a court order.

Maria - posted on 10/30/2012

I would encourage you to get a court order for your own protection. Paralegals can draw up the documents for a fraction of the cost an attorney would charge. Having a court order that states you have full custody may save you heartache in the Future. When I divorced I had no money, no support nothing to help with attorney fees. All I wanted was full custody of our daughter. I was awarded full custody, as he was happy to move forward with his hot new girlfriend 11 years his junior. Several years later, they decided to marry and to show to the new family he was a stand up guy, he came after to try to fight custody and for visitation rights, where for years he couldn't give a shit about seeing his little toddler. We went through hell, were forced visitations and after a few years after the wedding, we can't even get the deadbeat to keep up on his support. In the meantime, he lives on 100 acres, bought a horse, donates money publicly to charities, while NOT paying child support. My story is reflected in this video I made to expose the truth. So, from my personal experience, if you want to protect yourself, even though it may appear now that there is no interest ... the future is elusive ... be prepared ... especially when it comes to your child. We are their voices!!!! I made this video of my story to share the truth as he has painted ME to be the psycho ex with the "hell hath no fury" mentality ... I have anger ... because his choices do not honor our child. Hope this has been helpful

Sarah - posted on 10/25/2012

u have equal rights unfortunetly

Kellie - posted on 10/23/2012

my ex was and still is married to someone else and i recently told him about her. now he wants to take me to court for 50 percent custody he lives in north dakota and i live in california i am the sole care taker of her and his name is not on the birth certificate. we just did a dna test to prove she is his do you think he can win cause i didnt tell him about her

Qui - posted on 10/21/2012

His dad still has full rights to him. You need to go to court. You are basically the custodial parent, but if you ever wanted to have it to where he had NO rights, he would need to relinquish his rights.



Say for example, as you said, he is on the B.C and all...if you wanted to get your child a passport, he would have to come in and sign with you...if he refused, you would not be able to take your child out of the country.

Maria Belen - posted on 10/16/2012

i think the father still has the right.thank him for taking his role as a father to your son.

and your son also need the right to grow knowing and having his father.

even though your relationship with your son's father didn't worked out,but i think he wants to have a good relation with your son.

i'm also a single mom.and i know how you feel.but worst part,as of now,he don't want to connect,even though i try some ways just to connect our baby to him.

but it's fine.i'm trying everything to support my baby.

maybe you can consult a lawyer.AGREEMENT between you and your son's father.sign it.

and if the father break it,then file for bridge of contract(joke).

hope this will help you!

more power to us, single moms!

Liz - posted on 10/16/2012

You should be able to get him to just sign him over, If he wants to drag it through the court let him pay for it, if hes able to do that then he's able to financially care for his son.

Megan - posted on 10/16/2012

My son's dad threatened to take my son from me when he was a baby. So i went and filed for child support and got custody of him. Now every other weekend he gets him and every other holiday. Now that may be what the court does first before he says he cant have anything to do with his child. My cousin went through something similar with her sons dad. She let him have him for the weekend and he wouldn't give him back to her. He told everyone that she came and left him with him. (which wasnt true) Now she gets him every other weekend and every other holiday when it should be the other way around. So in my opinion I would go through the whole court thing so you dont have to go through what she had to go through. I hope this was a little help on you. And if his dad doesnt bring him back on the day and at the time he is suppose to you can file that. Since you would be the custody parent of him..

Jas - posted on 10/16/2012

sarah,



Get in there before he does, protect your child, your the mother, and you know better. I wish you all the best, My life is in hell at the moment, my ex wants custody of both my children. Seriously good luck.

Emma - posted on 10/15/2012

Been through this, if nothign is established by court, he can come by tomorrow and take his son for as long as he wants, you need to go to court, get full custody established, the cours will favor in you. and thats it. its a pretty simple case, unless he decides he wants to start seeing him. in that case, file for child support, which you should do anyway! and get as much out of him as you can, but you can have your son in your custody ( full) and have child support, its law, unless your son has been ordered to you by the courts, he has just as many rights as you.

Andrea - posted on 10/15/2012

Legally You Have To Go THrough Court. And I Will Tell You Here In Missouri, You Have To Be A Unfit Parent To Loose Custody THat you have. My Son Is 5 And His Father Moved Away 3 Years Ago To Florida, He Does Not Call, Nor Send Cards Or Gifts Nor Pays Childsupport, But the attorney That i spoke With ( 3 Diffrent Attorneys) Every Single One Of THem Gave Me The Same Answer I Wish You Luck In This Battle. You Can Feel Free To Email Me If You Would Like ~~ Andrea~~

DeAnn - posted on 09/14/2012

It depends on the state in which you live and whether you were married.

Mischa - posted on 09/11/2012

Because you have acknowledge, legally, that the father is the father- like as in a signed birth certificate. He absolutely have rights- even though he does not see your child. You are in a 'grey' area, really. If the father takes him without your consent, can you call the cops for kidnapping? No. But can you take the child back? yes. Look, go ahead and file for Sole Physical and legal custody, I dare him to fight it. Why? There is NOT a judge on this planet that would grant sole P&L to a father that does NOT have a current relationship with his son especially in the last year. Judges ALWAYS go in the best interest of the child- regardless of your marital status-especially since you are capable of supporting your child without additional money or aid. You may also petition for termination of parental rights. You do not need father's Signature for that- because you are going to claim "abandonment", in most statse the criteria is: absent for at least a year AND does not pay for the financial needs and upkeep of child. Usually, this process is done if there is a man, like a husband , that is willing to adopt. But in your case, it may be strongly considered. Judges do not take "deadbeat" kindly. So, it is unlikely he will even get joint since he has actively refused to be responsible for the child- which is exactly what joint custody means. You can file a motion for free if you have low income. Ask the clerk for those specifications. If you need help filling out the paperwork, speak to the court's Law Facilitator (free) and/or Legal Aid (free law clinic). Google that and see what you come up with. But my question to you is, why would you not go for child support? If visitation might be provoked by this- well- good news, you hold the cards on that one because he has to file with the court for visitation. DO NOT get custody, visitation and child support confused. This is commom to do-as people do not know that they are ALL seperate issues and dealt with individually. So, for example, if he pays child support, he does not get visitation and custody (even joint) automatically. So, call up DCSS (google it) and take a look into it. just consider this suggestion, ok?

Nishana - posted on 09/11/2012

Depending on the state you live in...no one has custody until determined by the courts. You may want to check your states laws.

Bekah - posted on 09/07/2012

Komal - you need to get a lawyer

Komali - posted on 09/07/2012

Reespected sir/madam,



i am komali gollapothu i have 3 years baby girl which she is with father , my husband is not giving my baby and playing games that from my side to get dioverce .......... plz how to get my baby fastly

Ashley - posted on 09/07/2012

Each state is very different, but here in Florida yes you would have to take it to court. As long as the father is on the birth certificate, then the father has equal rights! I was scared my ex husband would try to come and take off with my kids, and that wouldnt have been good because he is a thief and does drugs and in and out of jail and even prison. So when i got my divorce i filed for sole custody! Now he has no rights! It's a long drawn out ordeal. And if the father fights it, it will be even longer.

Megan - posted on 09/06/2012

Each state is different, i mean the dad did acknowledge paternity by signing the bc. Like where I live my husband and I weren't married when we had our first two children & though he signed and we lived together I technically had custody because we weren't married and he never took me to court to contest it, weird I know but that's how it went. I agree with some of the others, it's better to be safe than sorry. Go to court and establish that you are the sole provider and want to make sure all your bases are covered. You may even get some back child support out of it, who knows.. If you and the child haven't had any contact with the dad for an extended period of time then that just helps your case out more. Just remember technically depending on where you live he could have rights just for signing his name, so be careful until you look into things.

Tonya - posted on 09/06/2012

Has the dad had any finicial responsibility or any contact with your child? Some places say that if the parent is absent for a year, then they have less rights to the child. But yes, you do need to go to court and it is better that you have the paperwork saying you have custody. Good luck!

Emily - posted on 09/03/2012

Go get a custody order! Better to be good than sorry.

Davida Marie Narcissa - posted on 09/03/2012

What is a man going to do with a babyboy

Sharon - posted on 08/30/2012

http://www.ehow.com/about_5207086_rights...

Sharon - posted on 08/30/2012

If you two were never married he has no rights,bu tit would be a good idea to go to court and get legal custodial rights to your child. I can help you do what they call self representation. I would just need to know the STATE you live in and an email address so I can forward you the forms.

Charlie - posted on 08/30/2012

yeah go see a solicitor and go through courts because he on bc he got shared pr

Nicole - posted on 08/24/2012

I also live in Ohio, and I filed for sole custody when my son became old enough to attend school. Because my child is special needs, and has always lived with me, and his father was very unsure about forming a relationship with him, the magistrate awarded me sole custody. I was able to prove that his contact with his son was very little ( three times from birth to age 3), and that in fact he tried to hide my pregnancy from his family (I'm 37 years old, so I find that funny and sad). He can visit if we mutually agree on each visit, but there is no visitation order in the custody agreement, as he was not really wanting to be a father to our son. Good luck to you, you may find out where his thoughts really are once you go to court for custody.

Taffany - posted on 08/23/2012

It depends on the state you are in. I live in Ohio and in Utah where my daughters father lives he has as many rights as I do and I never went to get physical or any type of custody of her now 15 years latter he wants to be daddy and threaten to take me to court for kidnapping his daughter because I left that state and he did not give me permission. So with my son I went down to Juvinial court and filed for custody of him it cost me 150 and as long as his dad does not contest it in the next 30 days I have full custody of him I also had to take a parenting class.

Amy - posted on 08/23/2012

Does he want to be a part of your sons life? If not ask him to sign away his rights. If he does, then go to court. Right now he could at anytime take him and not give him back. Be careful. I would suggest finding a free advise attorney just to get some information then go from there.

Heather - posted on 08/23/2012

he would have to sign his rights aways and depending what state you live in.

Joanne - posted on 08/23/2012

At this point the custody is up in the air.. neither one of you have full custody of him. Since the father is not present you can go file for custody and if he does not show up you will be granted full custody, but if he does you you may be granted partial custody or visitation depending how the case goes and the state laws. I know when i took my sons father to court thirteen years ago he didn't show and i was granted full custody. I wish you well.

Jessica - posted on 08/22/2012

It depends what state you live in and if you were ever married to him. If you were not married chances are you are default the full guardian of your child.

Javonda - posted on 08/22/2012

You could petition the court on your own behalf without an attorney by going through the magistrate's office a filing the right papers. My why would you serve him on your own without an attorney? Are you nuts? This is your kid...GET A LAWYER AND FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!

Anna - posted on 08/21/2012

The father does have rights to the child at this point because his name is on birth certificate ..... the only thing that can take those rights away is going to family court ..... (ie. my sons father had restraining order preventing contact between him and my son & I due to domestic violence, yet he still had rights as a father until I obtained sole custody)
Without obtaining sole custody you are taking a chance if you decide to move out of state because the father can try to charge you with parental abduction etc, also it is easier to go through the process then to always have to worry about the what-ifs.
My advice, get legal help .. file for sole custody, keep records of all communication between your sons father and you, including if he saw child, pays child support etc, and contrary to that if he refuses to see child or help you financially. The court may ask to for you to provide a parenting plan showing how you take care of your childs needs and whom watches your child etc, also make sure that if you do not apply for child support at the hearing then the court papers state that you reserve your right to seek child support.

I'm not too sure about what happens at court though because the judge nearly refused to even hear anything my ex said .... I was in/out of the court room within 5 minutes awarded with sole custody, and the fathers rights taken away.

My situation is entirely different, yet this is what I know of family court .... good luck . and all the hard work (of court processes) will definitly pay off :)

Lauren - posted on 08/21/2012

I would also be sure to let your son's daycare/school know you're currently filing for custody of your son and that they should check before releasing your son to his dad if he were to come pick him up. Legally, they can't hold your son. But if you let them know to contact you in such an instance, you might be able to make it there (or have a friend or family member make it there) in time to talk with him and deter him from taking your son. As in any custody case, as difficult as it may be if things get heated, try to keep your son out of it as much as possible. My fiance was in the middle (and still is) of a 24-year-old divorce and I'm fearful everyday it will begin to affect our children.

Renee - posted on 08/19/2012

Yes, generally speaking, he has every right as you, yes he can get them and not give back and yes you should get an attny and see what can be done. Every state custody law is different. If dad is not on birth cert... Dad has no claim.

Danielle - posted on 08/17/2012

A big determination is if you are married or not. Married? A father a rights. Not married? A father has the ability to see him but the mother usually (I know in Florida) has primary custody and the father has to prove the mother is unfit. Mothers are needed more, especially in the begining. Proving this is hard. Out of wedlock, whether people realize it or not makes a difference because the laws were written when marriage was taken more serious and should be taken seriously. A man a woman have sex and they never see each other again. The father has to get rights. He can see him and be sround him but he cannot take him without your permission. Birth Certificate is used for child support. If you want no rights to the father, you have explain why. You have a better chance with some fling then a husband that you took an oath with and signed a marriage lisence with.

Cia Kulubo - posted on 08/16/2012

the father was not listed on Birth certificate but paternity test were issued. The result identified him as the father. I have a passport for my child issued before the paternity test and subsequently subsequent birth certificates list the father. More and more as the child ages the issue of who has legal guardianship surfaces . luckily I secured full legal custody physical , I am asked to supply documentation. If you want to get a passport for the child you will now have to supply information indicating you have custody or that the father authorizes you to get the passport. Some child care facilities are requesting information to avoid liability concerns. Securing legal backing of your authority is important. even things like seeing a counselor have been precluded from some because the authority was not provided by the other parent. If there is a pattern of non involvement it is easier to plead your case that the non custodial parent should not make unreasonable demand but w/o the papers this status is in question... sounds like slavery doesn't it?

Elizabeth - posted on 08/16/2012

My daughter has my last name and her father is not listed on the birth certificate, I have been wondering the same exact thing you are wondering. I take care of my daughter all on my own with no child support and she has never met her biological father. I got away from him while I was pregnant because he is a dead beat druggie loser.

Bekah - posted on 08/15/2012

This original post was over 2 years ago ... I wonder whatever happened

Hillary - posted on 08/14/2012

Sarah,
I would recommend seeking legal advice from an attorney; they will know your state laws and be able to go through every thing with you step by step. It would be pointless for me to tell you how things work here in VA, because the laws may be completely different in your state!
Please keep us posted and good luck hon!

Crystal - posted on 08/14/2012

Mo
Sole doesn't mean father is cut off its understood as primary custody. You have sole or joint, there is no primary custody in court... I have been through it twice and have sole with both of my children but their father still does have access.

Alicia - posted on 08/14/2012

I lived in New Jersey and I took my child's father to court and we were never married our child has my last name and I have full custody of our child

Mo - posted on 08/14/2012

Maybe I missed it but are you trying to get full sole custody or primary custody? Sole is where you cut off the father from anything with the child whereas primary means the child lives with you but can see the father. Either way court is the way. And as stated before each state is different. Something to take into consideration though...Do you have the finances to go to court and battle if the father should feel he wants his rights as a parent - From experience - this could become very expensive. Think about your reasoning - does the father not have ANY interest in the child? You may find that you only want primary which means that the father could have some financial responsibility to the child and you could gain court appointed child support. I have primary custody with child support and final decision making (means we could try to discuss something about the child's upbringing but if a total block for a decision I can choose what I truly want). One last thing to consider - remember always that grandparents have rights too and they can fight you in court for their rights. Just saying. So after all my babble, contact an attorney and find out what the state law is, your rights are, the father's rights, how the process works and the estimated cost. With this you may be able to make a sound decision. Good luck....xoxoxoxoxo

Cia Kulubo - posted on 08/11/2012

If you document limited contact and support you may go to court and get sole physical custody with reasonable rights of visitation. As it stand before the law he does have equal rights. some states provide the mom with more if the child is a certain age. the challenges that may come should he be involved with someone who takes an interest in the child but lacks your values. /If you die this child will automatically be with the father. You would have to serve him. and request a motion. the longer he does little the easier to make the case. I did sue for sole physical because I did not want to be accused of something improper should I need to work overseas.