Dad hasnt seen his son, yet has a new baby

Nancy - posted on 03/01/2013

My kids grew up without their father around.I was awarded child support when they were young,but he found every way possible to not pay it. I used to bring my son over when he was just a baby so that he could visit.I was pushing the stroller past his window one day when I heard him talking to his brother about it.His brother was asking him whats wrong with her and Randy said she's just mad cause I don't want to spend any time with that F@#$ing kid.I turned around and left.I stopped trying after that.At his families insistence,I started bringing the kids down again too see them.It was about a 30 minute drive.I always brought them down to them.Randy would sometimes be there for maybe 5 minutes before taking off again. You can keep trying to push it but it probably won't help.Mine grew up seeing for themselves what he was like.I didn't say negative things about him even though believe me I wanted to.I let them see for themselves.One Christmas Eve we went down to not only deliver the presents they very carefully wrapped for him( their school pictures) but to visit my mother.We stopped there first and waited for awhile,then went to the service.We stopped on the way back to Tucson to see if he had shown up.His family had been calling him and arguing with him trying to get him down there at their house.We waited until 11:30 that night and he never showed up.My son was nine and daughter was six.My son cried all the way home saying that he hate his father. You've tried.That's all you can do.You are at least owed some help in the form of child support,though.If you don't need it,then you may not want to be bothered.I"ve fought for 25 years to get what was court ordered.When your son starts asking questions like my kids did,I told them that I loved their father very much at the time and that's why I kept trying.As they got older,I explained to them that you can't force something on somebody they don't want.I also told them that he was the one who missed out.They saw for themselves how much we struggled and how much I had to work in order to support them.He didn't pay hardly any of the court ordered support and I've waited 25 years to get it.If he wants to be idiotic and pass up the chance, that's his loss.Probably the other woman doesn't even know about you.Karma's a b@#$h and it'll come back on him.None of Randy's kids wants anything to do with him.But then he brought it on himself.Think about it for awhile.You'll make the right decision for you.

Sylvia - posted on 02/28/2013

I wouldnt waste my time if I was you im going through the samething accept my son father hates me because his other baby moma who son is six months older than mines, found out about me and well he never wanted me to keep this child and I did its three years now im married and he still hasnt made any attempt to see him but a man like that you probably wouldnt want around your child.

Sophia - posted on 01/12/2012

I wouldn't tell my kid the truth about his dad!! Just simply let your child figure it out. My mom told me about my dad 2 yrs ago and it made me mad at her for telling me details.

Alica - posted on 01/11/2012

I am a single mom on my own!! I would forget about the baby's daddy. You can't force him to be apart of your childs life or make him love his child. All you can do is give your child all the love and support he needs. when your child gets older you can explain everything to him about his daddy and he can make the decision if he wants to meet his dad. This is not your fault and it is not your childs fault so never blame yourself!! Things will get better!!!

Sophia - posted on 01/11/2012

At least get child support. He's obviously a jerk if he won't support his child, so go after him in court and make him sign his rights over to you. You don't want his new family taking your child away from you one day!!!!

Jessica - posted on 07/08/2011

my son is turning 12... a pretty easy age... as in he isn't a baby and he is pretty independent. his father didn't meet him until he was 5 and has seen him six time since then. when he found out i was expecting twins he told me i belonged in a trailer park because having kids with more then one dad is "white trash." i found out later that after i had my son (he refused to come to the hospital to meet him and never contacted me ever to meet him) he moved in with a girl and took care of her kid like he was his own (while i sat at home taking care of our new baby). now, 12 years later he is living with a girl that has three kids from three different fathers and he is taking care of those kids like they are his own! yet, he can't even send his son a birthday gift in the mail or pick up a phone to call him. but he can cook dinner for someone else's kids and put them to bed? he hasn't paid child support in a year, but he will pay for her kids for everything. the worst part is, when he met our son and found out he had autism, he told me it was something i did to him by not taking care of him right and how if he had him it would never have happened to my son. he blames me for it! the girl he is with now has a child with autism and he acts like he is the greatest expert now and does all this great stuff for this kid and reads all this research for this kid... but doesn't even apologize for what he said to me or act like it matters our son has autism. he also acts like he is better then me because he claims he knows so much!



my advice? write him one last letter stating that your door is open, that he has a son that you would like him to get to know, that you want your child to know their sibling, and leave it at that. if he walks through the door, so be it. if he doesn't, he doesn't. you can't control or help what people do. it will make you so mad on those nights you are stuck at home with a sick baby and you are so tired you can't see straight, and all you want is to go to sleep uninterrupted... it will come out in the worst of moments of parenting (trust me, i know) and you will resent him for not being there so much. but you have to let it go and trudge through it and know that you are the stronger person for it. one day it will be his turn to regret not being there, but until he realizes that, there is nothing you can do. i would stop pushing but i would for sure make him pay child support!!



one of the benefits of being a single mom is you don't have to answer to anyone and you don't have that added stress of being with someone that you don't agree with on how to parent your child.

Brittany - posted on 07/06/2011

go put his butt on child support and just leave it at that because your son is to good for his father and his father is not good enough to have your son as his son he as not earnd the right to be there and tell people that he has a great son so he is better off with you just being there just love him with everything you have and he will be fine but i would get that child support going threw the same mess with my little girls father dont see her or pay me nothing ducking child support for 2 years and liveing with another girlhelping her with her kid and the kid ant even his

Robin - posted on 07/05/2011

Do not feel badly. My autistic biological son's father only saw him 3 times before age 2. I thoroughly ENJOYED it being just me and my son. He was a terrific child. Unfortunately, he passed away last year and it has been totally devastating.

I have custody of my two stepchildren and their father does not even make an effort to see them. Whether he is here for 2 weeks to over a month, he rarely sees them and if he does, it is only a few times for about 1 hours. This past two week trip, he NEVER saw the daughter. Kept making excuses and hanging up on her. He does not even do things for them unless the Court forces him to. Since I am a 3rd party parent (not biological), he is responsible for any expenses. Raising a child is expensive and if you do not need the money right away, save it. At some point, they will require a large bill to be paid. You do not have to use all the child support. Stick with the Child Support Guidelines. I did not one time. I thought I was being appropriate but when things go wrong, you will become the bad guy. I hope that your son's father will be appropriate but better to not expect it so when it happens, it is a blessing.

Mogire - posted on 07/04/2011

he left u pregnant, if he cared he kud have tried to look 4 u or responded. ignore him 4 now n concetrate on baby

Natasha - posted on 12/09/2010

i have a four month old son...and although our situations arent the same, there somewhat similar...
my son (andrew), his father has a 6 year old daughter who he sees every weekend..yet he has only seen my son once, for 2 hours, 3 months ago!..and shows no interest in seeing him again.
although he is not a good father, and i would not want him raising my son, i would still like him to have a relationship with his father??

its hard to say what is best..
my thoughts are...you can stop trying, and let your son decide when he is older if he wants a relationship with his father,
or keep fighting for him to meet his son..
either way, i would file for child support. because wether he wants to be there for your son or not, he is his father, and responsible for him

D'Ericka - posted on 09/16/2010

child support!!!!

D'Etta - posted on 09/16/2010

Forget it. Trust me. I kept forcing my son's dad to be in their lives and now he's making mine a living hell. I'd gladly give up child support for him to get out of my and my children's lives. If he doesn't want to be there for them, it's not going to do them any good to have a dad around who is there out of guilt or obligation. And the dad is going to be resentful towards you and it may spill over to them. Love your children, be there for them, and just as you wouldn't make someone be in your life who didn't want to be there, don't force someone to be in your child's life who doesn't want to be there.

Annemarie - posted on 09/15/2010

I feel your pain and obvious upset over Dads lack of ackowledgement towards his son, unfortunately/fortunately you will have to raise this little man without him. A child only needs to know that he/she is loved and cherished, he is not aware that he has a Dad who doesn't or is to scared to recognise and accept him. Please stop wasting precious time/energy on this person (Though I'm aware it must hurt),focus on your family and what you are building together. His father may come into your lives down the track and if he does you can deal with it then. The father of my 2 sons was gone for 10 years and on reflection I'm pleased he wasn't in their lives as he was not an ideal role model nor a suitiable parent. He is now a change person and a much welcomed member of our family. The only suggestion I will give you is to surround your son with positive, upstanding males (Grandfather, friends etc) these men will enrich, teach and guide him. I was lucky to have such people in my sons lives. I believe boys need positive male role models ( not necessarily their fathers, just someone who cares for their wellbeing) so they can grow into well balanced and well rounded men. Good luck to you both :-)

Amanda - posted on 09/14/2010

im sorry . DCF = department of childrens and families

Amanda - posted on 09/14/2010

you should go to DCF and they will help you get child support and help you on all of that because you didnt make this baby on your own. he needs to help you raise him at least finacially. thats just completely wrong that he has a whole new family on the side. i would say just forget about it if he wants to act like a jet i wouldnt want him as my babies father i would just want help finaicially and that was it. but thats just me. sorry about your situation.

Carole - posted on 09/14/2010

Obviously don't know the circumstances as to why he left but I would say try and forget him! My daughters dad walked out when she was 7 wks old in Jan and has only seen her 4 times. The woman he left me for is now 24 wks pregnant after he insisted he didn't want anymore kids (he also has a 7 yr old daughter by yet another woman!!) and I feel I'm definately better off without him and so is my little girl!!

What I would say is, if you haven't done it already is take him to the CSA (that's if you're in England) because here or not, he should still provide for your son!! x

Monica - posted on 09/14/2010

My opinion is its better to have him not meet him at all, if he has no desire. My son is 5 years old and has a father that comes and goes every few months and it has caused my son severe damage. He is angry all the time, they just don't understand. You don't want him to meet him and have him get used to him and then have him not be a permanent fixture in his life, it will do more damage. Of course this is only my opinion but it all comes from a lot of experience. What your son doesn't know won't hurt him, per say, basically as long as he knows you are his constant and that he has a mommy who loves him dearly, he won't even notice that he is supposed to have a father around! Good luck!

Michelle - posted on 09/14/2010

Stop pushing. He doesn't want to, he isn't going to. I begged, pleaded, whined, cajoled, bribed, and threatened - and finally I stopped. He hasn't seen her since she was 10 months old (she's now 5). He hasn't paid his child support consistently since she was 3. I just let the state do the work on that, and I refuse to MAKE contact with him - if he would initiate, I'd probably respond. His wife has initiated a few times, but frankly, that's not him and I don't buy it unless HE does the initiating!

Vicky - posted on 09/13/2010

Just as an added note, there are MANY good men out there that are willing to accept a package deal. The only issue is knowing what you and your son are worth.

Best of luck to all of us single mothers!

Vicky - posted on 09/13/2010

I would let sleeping dogs lie. Is it really worth the trouble you'll have with him to push support and visitations for a son he has yet to acknowledge? That doesn't sound like the type of man that would be worth being your son's father. Keep in mind, child support is something that he owes his SON and something he pays YOU for the costs you incur raising him. If you and your son are doing alright without him, your son can sue HIM at a later time for the back child support AND the interest incurred for not having support him for 18 years. After that age, the choice of getting to know that man is strictly upon your son's choice. If your son is young, visitation is basically forced upon both parties. Yes, you may want him to acknowledge your son, but if he's this terrible, why would you want to put your son (and subsequently, you) through this? I'm sure you can find a better man than this donor.

Melita - posted on 09/13/2010

...untill u cum across a situation u never know how it feels lyk, i have a 2half btfl bby grl who's been seen once by her dad, financially i know he has it tough, but i have spoken to him abt it several tyms whn my grl was under a yr dat all we need its a father money dnt bring up kids but help u get through...if only men knew how hard we have it, not lyk we are rich or hav sum hiding riches sumwere. we get by we make plans for thing for our kids women are very strong fast thimkers if only they can understand that as a kid u need both parents there to bring u up help u whn u need them and take u through life....he dnt call her anymore sad thing is now she has a lot to say, trust me i have never stop him from calling or being a father to his child. rite now i tired of showing sumone that he has a child that needs him....i have paid for my misherbs now its his turn he cnt always run!!!

Meagan - posted on 09/13/2010

If he want's to be like that, there is nothing you can do. But you SHOULD take him to court for child support! It takes 2 to make a baby and 2 incomes to take care of it! So, do that. maybe then he will decide he wants a part. Maybe the new girl has no clue about this baby, and THATS why he isn't doing anything. To keep it a secret.

At the very least, get your money. Just because he doesn't WANT to pay, doesn't mean he doesnt HAVE to. Here in AZ, a father can sign over his rights, have zero custody of the child, and STill be REQUIRED to pay child support, up until another man adopts the child (like a new husband legally adopting a child). A lot of guys think that by signing ove rtheir rights they are free and clear, but that's not always true.

Just a random fact that, if it comes down to that, you should look into. =]

Shannon - posted on 09/12/2010

wow! some men never cease to amaze me.first i want to tell u how sorry i am 2 hear that this is happening to u and your child u both definitely deserve more than that!alot more than that.my oldest daughters father was actually a part of her life living hear with us for the first 4 years than he left me and moved out .he was at first a consistant part of her life noe a couple months ago his 2nd daughter was born and since then he has been fading out of our daughters life slowly but surely.i even have to call and beg him to at least talk to her on the phone or come see her and of course i do this when she cant hear the conversation but its getting harder and harder to get him to be involved with her.and it is really taking a toll on her and her life she is 7 years old now.so my opinion and best advice i can give u per my experiences with this sort of thing is:if he hasnt been in your childs life yet despite your many attempts to get him too i would probably quit wasting mu time(sorry i know that sounds harsh ),but u definitely dont deserve the stress it must cause u and the heartache each time u get no where with him when all u are asking for is for him to be a part of his childs life.which no father should ever have to be asked to do.but sooo many do anymore.and if thats the way he is your child is probably better off without him.i would make sure he has to pay child support u and your child are entitled to that and deserve it.and i would also just make sure he has current contact info for u at all times so that if he ever decides to be a man and want to be a father to his child he can get a hold of u and let u make the decision at that time whether or not u feel it would be best for your child at that point.and if not it will be your decision to make either way.and i believe that would be all u should need to do cuz after all unfortunately none of us can force the father of our children to actually be a father it is sad but true.but as long as thats the way he wants to be i truelly believe the child would be better with just u as a parent and i am sure your child is lucky to have u as a mother and can do fine with just one parent if the other wants to be a dead beat ...whatever your decision is i wish u all the best of luck and in life take care and stay strong.after all some of us single mothers are the strongest people there are and lots of times being a single mother is how we got there.and most of all keep the faith and remember u are not alone.good luck honey! =)

Kiva - posted on 09/12/2010

It's hard but you can't make a man be a dad. Just continue to be there for your child and raise him right. I would recommend you file child support because even though he doesn't want to be there physcially he still have a financial obligation to him.....don't let him get away with out paying.

Wishing you both all the best in this thing we call life.

Dawn - posted on 09/12/2010

DONT MAKE HIM SEE HIS SON IF HE DOES NOT ,, PLEASE ,I AM A SINGLE MOM AND THE DAD DID NOT WANT TO SEE MY SON, AND AT THE AGE OF 12 HE WENT TO COURT WITH ALL HIS MONEY AND MEAN LAWYERS AND LIED AND I HAVE NOT SEEN MY SON SINCE THE COURT REMOVED MY SON OF NO PROOF OF ANYTHING ,I WAS POP WARNER ,PTO MOM,, AND AM A GREAT GREAT MOM,,, NOW I hear my son is 90 lbs over weight has no friends and is not doing well,, but due to money ,,, i cant do anything but pray that he comes back,,, i love and miss him so much,,, so please think about it ,,,, its not a bad thing that the father will not be around ,,,, good luck

Donna - posted on 09/11/2010

Hi Lynn..............go to court to get child support. The govt WILL make him pay for his son's well being.
As far as getting him to acknowledge his son, just document everything (emails are wonderful, the courts love them). "he" will support your son, like it or not. You can't make him like his son, but that is not your responsibility. you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Get the courts on his arse !! pronto !! (x-govt employee, now a nana)

Robin - posted on 09/11/2010

As far as the child support, go after it. It is your child's right to receive child support. You are not the only one that made your child. You are not the only one responsible for your child. Most uninvolved parents will stay away so as not to get stuck paying child support but as soon as their child becomes of age, all of a sudden they are important.

Robin - posted on 09/11/2010

After I had my son, I just left it up to his father to see him. If you have custody of your son, then you are the main person to make decisions. I found it easier and just enjoyed a quality life with my son. It will be his father's loss. It is sad but why stress yourself out. He knows he has another son. One day, he will sit there and it will hit him like "Man, all those years I lost." Life is too short to lose out wasting your time trying to get him to be involved. As a friend told me, "Cannot miss what you never had."

Tara - posted on 09/11/2010

I would'nt continue to try and force him to come see your son. You can never force anyone to do something they don't want to do. He is the one that is going to miss out on all of the wonderful things in your sons life. I would take him to court for child support that you shouldn't give up on ! He needs to step up and take care of his responsibilities. You also may want to think about this the new girlfriend might have alot to do with why he isn't coming around. Some women are very selfish and don't want their man to be around the other child because they are jealous of the mother. Im sorry you are having to deal with this but from the sounds of it I dont think he is going to play his part is raising your son, so you need to be strong and just raise that baby on your own. It can be done many of us women on this site are doing it everyday. I am a single mother of 4 children and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love my kids and we have a great life. So keep your head up and enjoy that beautiful baby GOD has blessed you with!

Amber - posted on 09/11/2010

I have to say I agree with the others who say to go after him for child support. I had to go through child support recovery but it was worth it and something I always remember... any guy can be a father but it takes a real man to become a dad. Just do the best with what you can.

Jenille - posted on 09/11/2010

stop trying, it won't work.besides karma comes so quick, if it will take a bit longer, karma will still come. God is fair. if you will behave badly now, God will no longer punish him. smile Jesus loves you

Nicole - posted on 09/10/2010

I am in that same situation. My daughtesr dad denied her and denied her and I ended up moving to AZ. Well I went to Illinois to visit and called and even talked to him. He was only interested in .."me" if you know what I mean and I was disgusted. I found out he has 3 other children (that I know about) All over. One even in Canada. I keep in touch with one of her siblings mothers and web chat. But he still refuses to aknowledge my daughter, even though her half sister and her are practically twins.

But I gave up. I would advise the same. I really wanted HER to make that choice if she wanted to know her father or not when she was older, but I see what he has done to his other children. If he doesn't want to be in their lives, he will only see them as an obligation not somebody he loves. Their life will be filled with broken promises and lies. ex: my daughters father had a family member pay for his flight to CA saying that he was going to see his "only" daughters baptism, and when he got there he didnt even bother to show up for it. Can you imagine the disappointment she will endure growing up from him. I myself do not want my daughter to go through that.

Jenita - posted on 09/10/2010

I think that you should stop trying to force the issue. Yes, it isnt fair but just focus on being the best mother you can for your son. When all is said and done, they regret it in the end.

Valerie - posted on 09/10/2010

I also wanted to respond to the posts saying "get child support". Child support is NOT a punishment, and should not be treated as such. If you need financial assistance, then by all means, go for it. If not, and you'd like to set up a trust or college fund for your son, then go for it as well. BUT.... if you don't need it, don't pursue it out of hatred, and don't use it to get attention, and don't think it will magically force him to all of the sudden want to bond with your son. There are MANY men out there (unfortunately) who are quite comfortable paying money and never having to spend time with their child/ren.

Valerie - posted on 09/10/2010

I hate to sound cold, but leave him alone. You have gone above and beyond what you need to do as a mother, to try to get him involved with his child. If he doesn't want to be a father to his son, then that's his decision. You can not force someone to be a father. It's crystal clear that he doesn't want to have anything to do with his son if he hasn't responded by now :( Sorry.... You'll be doing yourself a favor, I promise. Get over him and move on......

Meghan - posted on 09/10/2010

I wouldn't push at all. You've offered the olive branch and he didn't accept it. If you want your son to know his father, then keep an open mind that he may eventually want to be involved. But I would say, either get some child support or get his parental rights revoked. But if he cheated on you.... CHILD SUPPORT.

Shaquentalin - posted on 09/09/2010

Im in the same situation as you. my daughter has not even seen her father & she's now 4mths old. He's married now & his wife just recently had a baby girl 2days ago. I would do the same, call, text, emails & he would never relpy to any. I've just given up because if he chooses not to be in her life than its his lose, not mines. Same thing goes for your situation, if your sons father havent called or left any messenges regarding your son then obvisiosly he doesnt wanna see him. You should waste your time over him, just forget about him girl & move on. Im pretty sure your beautiful son will do just fine without his father in his life & has a wonderful mother that loves him dearly & your all he needs. STAY STRONG FOR HIM!!!!!

Jennifer - posted on 09/09/2010

If you know where he lives maybe stop by other wise let it go if and when he is ready he will come see him. In the mean time your son has you and that is what matters no one can replace us and the love that we have for our little ones regardless if the dads step up. " momma babies daddies maybe's" its a harsh saying but it is true. so just put you world into your son like i know you are going to and don't worry about his dad take him to court for child support....lol hope this helps

Tabitha - posted on 09/08/2010

seriously...hes a dead beat and its sad ur son will never getto meet his dad...but realistically ur probley not with him cuz he wasnt a great guy in the first place. i would get child support and be over it :)

TanyaJane - posted on 09/08/2010

I totally think you should just let it be (emotionally). Like why would you wanna push him to come and see your son. He is the one that is missing out, right....not your son, because your son has you and your love. And you already put in the effort to try, i would just wash my hands of it. Once you do that you will probably feel a littler more at ease, because you wont be 'waiting'. I never once pushed my sons dad to come and see him because I figure its his loss...you cant force that right?? Lol thats my theory any ways...for the child support thing, oh yeah definately hit him with that and hard every which way you can!!! thats somehting I was never able to get was child support cuz he keeps moving from province to province. I wish you loads of luck

Crystal - posted on 09/07/2010

My daughters father has a new family as well! It took me a long time to learn this, but it is NOT your responsibility to make a relationship between your son and his father. If you try and the father doesn't want to, then you will just be hurting your son more than if he just wasn't in the picture. Your sons father will regret it one day, but just know that YOU did best by your son....good luck!

Tina - posted on 09/06/2010

Screw him, his lost! Take his ass for child support if you haven't! If he was a real responsible man he would want to see his child, seems to me he is a DEADBEAT DAD!

Nikki - posted on 09/06/2010

I understand your situation as far as your son's father not wanting to be a part of his life. As far as I know my son's father does not have any more children after our son was born BUT he could!! He moved to another state and abandoned us years ago. My son will be four in October and as for me I learned to leave him alone for the most part as he chooses to ignore his only son , not pay child support etc. so for a long time I emailed him with photos , also had alot of not so nice things to say to him only because I hurt so badly for our son . He ignored everything. Period . I did finally stop trying and just have gotten on with life as my son and I know it without him and I feel better not even trying to get him to love his son as all it did was keep me stirred up and I couldn't be the best Mommy for my son :) So now I focus 100% on just my boy and I pray alot and I know God will heal us and also take care of his father for ignoring his son , sorry to say but I don't think God is fond of men whom ignore their children so I don't think they have the best life ahead of them. Meanwhile I know my son and I are just fine and we have a very strong and special bond because of it . I have had alot of Moms point out to me that some kids don't have either parent and that made me feel better for my son although it made me sad for kids whom don't have any parents so keep being the best Mom you are and God heals all wounds and like my father always said "Time changes everything" :) God Bless, Nikki

Kelly - posted on 09/06/2010

i stopped tring to get my baby boys daddy 14mths ago he seen him 3 times then moved i text email all of it but still no response so im being the best mummy i can be without him around he goes to visit his other kids but cant go tht extra 10 min drive to see mine even his dads mum texts me to say she coming to see him but then doesnt turn up so now i dont bother im a better parent to him than his father will ever be GOOD LUCK HUN

Shanequia - posted on 09/06/2010

I had the same sort of issue, except at first my sons dads was present and then things changed, he had a new family and disregarded us completely. Many days i felt like just giving up and I waould always say Im all that he needs anyway. I really dont want to repeat the same cycle with my son that I experienced so I made it known to his dad that I was very important that a son has his father and vice versa. It took a few nudges and phone calls, but eventually he began coming around more and spending time with our son. You didnt make him by yourself so you shouldnt have to raise him alone. just my point of view, this story hit really close to home.

Candy - posted on 09/06/2010

It will be 8 yrs in Dec that my kids' dad hasn't seen them.My daughter is 13 and my son is 10.A few times he has communicated with my daughter through internet but he doesn't continue that for long.He has decided not to be in their lives.I have taught my children that Father God is their Dad.I tore me up inside knowing my kids longed to know thier dad and him choosing not to know them.But I have chosen to put it in God's hands,there is nothing I can do to make him wan to be in their lives,it is his choice.I am at peace now knowing God will fill the place in my kids' hearts that is missing because one parent is not in their lives.I no longer let it tear me up inside,letting it do that does nothing to help my kids.GOD SEES ALL,KNOWS ALL,and HEALS ALL.

Julie - posted on 09/04/2010

it is hard but you cant make Dad do something he dont want to do, im sure it must tear you up inside I know it does me. I dont know about Dylan but my Alfie is the image of his Dad so forgetting is difficult I so want him to know his Daddy but have realised its not going to happen.It does get easier with time and as he grows you will see what a fantastic job you done on your own.All you can do is leave the door open for Dad and who knows he may suprise you one day

Sammy - posted on 09/04/2010

my sons dad is the same! got a daughter not much younger than my 20 month old son, has NEVER seen my son, never asked about him.. i wanna forget and stop trying but i still want dylan to have a dad.

Julie - posted on 09/04/2010

My Son is gonna be 4 in January and his Daddy has never seen him or even asked about his health, welfare or development. He does pay CSA but only because he has to. My boy is a healthy happy child and whilst not havng Dad around is not ideal I dont think he is any worse off. His Daddy knows my door is open should he want to got to know but thus far he has not bothered. Dont push this guy, so long a he knows he can see your boy then you can do no more and when your Son grows and asks about his Dad your conciensce will be clear, meanwhile you have him all to yourself and can watch him grow and you can take all the credit for raising him and teaching him right from wrong. Dad is the one who is missing out and whatever happens he cant but this precious time back.

Cynthia - posted on 09/03/2010

Like Erin said, go after him for child support. My son is 4yrs. old on Aug. 30th and his father didn't call, e-mail, facebook about his sons or b-day. So be the best parent for ur son, but at the same time go after him. Believe I have been there I am going on 3 yrs. and 8 months that he hasn't paid for his 2 sons, so go after him and don't give up!