dead beat baby daddy

Cassie - posted on 05/28/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

31

35

my son(isaac) was born on march 17 of this year and his dad(drew) said he would be around (which was a lie because he was never around during the pregnancy). he was hardly ever up at the hospital when isaac was born and on the last day of the hospital stay i get a call from drews mom saying they want to get a lawyer to change isaac's last name from mine(harting) to his(engler) and to put drews name on the birth certificate. how could someone call you while you are in the hospital after just having a baby and say somthing like that to you!! and she was being such a witch about it. drew, being the spineless idiot he is, wasn't around when his mom called me....what a coincidence. so after fighting for almost two hours over the phone in my hospital bed holding my son, i agreed to change his last name to harting-engler but not put his name on the birth certificate. i wanted drew to prove himself first. anyway...they went through all that yelling and arguing and now, 2.5 months later, they have no contact with us!!! ive tried texting, calling, etc and i get zero responses. and now i find out drew has a new girlfriend...WITH AN 11 MONTH OLD DAUGHTER. this just upsets me to no end...it breaks my heart for Isaac. how could someone not want to come around this amazing little boy.

anyway....i need advice on how to deal with all this and not let it affect my son.

oh and needless to say....Isaac has just MY last name now. and the state made me put drew on the birth certificate because my son is on title 19(medicaid) so the state wants their money reimbursed.

but please....i need help dealing with this!! it just breaks my heart to know i can't fix this.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

7 Comments

View replies by

Caitie - posted on 06/01/2010

2

3

I'm kind of having the same problem. But the best advice I've gotten (from a lot of people) is to just move on and do what is best for you and your son. You can't make him be around if he doesn't want to be. He'll end up missing all of the little things that matter the most, but it will be his loss not yours.

Lacee - posted on 06/01/2010

6

14

it takes time to move on... i went through it 2. He is better off without a POS like that

Shelby - posted on 05/31/2010

25

32

Wow... This guy sounds like a loser. And also like the father of my child. Like you, I don't understand how someone doesn't want to be a part of a life that they co-created. I also know that I can't fix it, either. But, I do know that my baby won't need a dad to be loved. My baby isn't even born yet and is already loved by so many people. And I've realized that I'm not the one that has to live a life full of regret knowing I stepped out on my own child. Some day, this Drew person will realize what he's done and want to be a part of his child's life. Sadly, that day might be too late. Either way, it'll be up to Isaac to decide if he wants to include his father in his life. But I'm sure he won't forget who was the one that was always there for him.

Cassie - posted on 05/29/2010

31

35

thanks guys...it helps to know im not the only one...even though i feel horrible that you have to go through it too. it sickens me how dads can just up and leave.

Lindsey - posted on 05/29/2010

7

6

i know how you feel! joey bailed on me around 5 months preg and didnt come around until he got his mom to call and ask to see my son, nolan, after he was born. he didnt show up in the hospital, hes never bought a diaper or anything in nolans whole life and hell be 2 in about 5 months. every girlfriend joeys had since me has had a kid?! he now lives with his gf with a 5 year old daughter and lives less then 5 minutes away from me! and still never sees nolan. ive wrote him so many times on myspace trying to throw up a guilt trip and were going to court next month over childsupport, but i figure if i can cuss him, harass him, beg and cry with him to love nolan then i dont want him to have to see and love him by law because hes court ordered to ya know? im asking him to sign over his rights as a father because he is no father at all. it really is heartbreaking to know how wonderful your child is and the other parent knows almost nothing about them. but there are PLENTY of men out there willing to except your and your child, ive had a bf for about 6 months now and hes the only male figure in nolans life and i know it really kills my babydaddy to see all the pictures of him and nolan together. in the end you still win, you get your gorgeous little boy to yourself and your the stronger one obviously

Julie - posted on 05/28/2010

13

39

Don't let his family bully you you're his mum don't get involved in arguements it will just stress you out.
He's your baby I know its hard but you're the one with the power here try and put it behind you and enjoy your life. You're the lucky one you have a beautiful boy (with a lush name i must say)
I'm in England so I don't get this medicaid thing. All I would say is that you are probably most definately better off with out him.
Stay strong and stay possitive, you'll get thru it. Sorry I couldn't give any better advise.
xxxx

Sharwana - posted on 05/28/2010

2

48

i went kinda thru the same thing..how u deal with it living n askin gos 2 take it away n it will peel of lil by lil