dealing with a jerk of and ex

Kristen - posted on 09/02/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

31

18

6

My ex kicked me and our 4 day old son out because he wanted to be with a new woman. We were engaged and this came out of the blue. We were suposed to be getting married on sept. 19th.

He keeps threating me and he refuses to pay child support. He is completely untrustworthy and wants me to just drop off our son whenever he wants. I know for a fact that he doesnt have a crib or diapers or anything needed to take care of a baby. On top of that i told him that he could see him but i was going to supervise and he told me to get a lawyer and now he's sueing me for full custody. He's only held our son three times, never changed a diaper, never fed him, nothing. I need advise on how to go about dealing with this because im totally freaking out... please post your stories and avise... it would be very appriciated

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

7 Comments

View replies by

Sharon - posted on 09/11/2009

4

15

0

do not let him have any unsupervised visits get a journal write down everything he says and does. go to social servives and they'll be able to help with legal aid and child support.

Erika - posted on 09/10/2009

19

9

2

i got my amazing daughter accidently with a guy that i would never want a baby with but i couldn't get an abortion or give her up and man i'm so glad i didn't! but anyways, olivias dad has never seen her never called and is never going to call... he isn't even on the birth certificate!! i dont know where you live but if i were you id be cause child support enforcement division if your sons dad is being like this! i live in mt and here the mother has all the rights!! your sons father could possible be charged with abandonment! please dont be freaked out right now! he's just blowing smoke! as long as you are a good mother that takes care of her child has a stable home, food in the cupboards and you dont have a drug/alcohol problem your going to be just fine! i know its really hard and there are going to be alot of tears but you need to set up supervised visits for your sons sake! that way ur x can never say this or that and make you look like an unfit mother! i dont even get child support or anything just for the simple fact that i dont want olivias dad to ever come around! nothing good can come from forcing someone to be a parent...

Leslie - posted on 09/10/2009

11

53

1

if he has been threatening u go to police and report that. get it documented even if they cant arrest him that wont look good for him in court. then go to social services and file for child support if he refuses to pay it thats not gonna look good on his part plus they will take his license away for not paying. when u r at social services tell ur case worker all of this about how he threw u out to the part were u told him he could have suporviced visits so now he is sueing for custody. but honestly he is probly trying to scare u so u will leave the child support thing alone. he is probly banking on the facts that u dont know ur rights. but do all these things get a lawyer and when u go to court present it all to the judge. no judge in there right mind will give him costudy. good luck i hope everything works out for u.

Amanda - posted on 09/05/2009

12

20

5

First i completely understand what you are going through. I have a 10 month old baby boy and my husband and i recently split. He has never changed a diaper, fed a bottle and would only hold him for about 5 minutes. Our son was in the NICU for 2 months because he was a preemie. the NICU was an hour away from our house and my husband refused to let me stay in the ronald mcdonald house to be near my son. he said he needed me at home to clean up and stuff (mind you i was still recovering from a c section) i could only go see my son about every 2 days and my husband would only want to stay for about an hour. Long story short he is a jerk. Now that i am living an hour away from him he constantly calls me drunk saying he is going to take my son away from me. The next day he will beg me to come back...then he starts drinking and tells me that he hates me and starts all over again. the next day he cant understand why i dont want to be with him anymore.

With all that being said, of course it completely terrified me at the thought of losing my son. Then i got to thinking and mommy mode hit. I started printing out all emails and saving all my texts. everything that he has said good or bad i have proof of. I also have contacted other people that have been witnesses to the fact that he has yet to be a father to my son or his 6 year old daughter from a previous marriage. With everything i have i wouldnt even need a lawyer if he tried to take my son.

My advice would be to document everything. even the threats because honestly that looks bad on him. making threats makes him look unstable. If you have to record phone conversations. write down everytime he asks something of you that you feel is irrational. dates times and everything. gather witnesses to everything. prepare yourself. as well as speak with an attorney.

9 times out of 10 men wont even pursue custody. deep down they really dont want it. they just want the control. and he is using your son to try to control you. dont let that happen. stand your ground. you are mommy and you know best for your child.

Fe - posted on 09/05/2009

1

6

0

listen carefully,first you the mother he cannot take the baby away from you, if you going to social service they gonna make him pay child support if you not working he has to pay whats call maintanance wich is a check for you because you have the baby and he has to help you with your bills. the only way he can take your baby away if he can proof that you not a good mother for some heavy reason and the last if you need a lawyer the city can provide you one for frre. you just need to go online and there is a bunch of information. good look and i hope everything goes well.

Rachel - posted on 09/02/2009

49

25

7

If your not on social services (welfare) go now and talk to them. they will set up child support for you. stop talking to him, and start writing/journalling everything that is going on. your are the mommy and until you set up official visitation you don't have to let him see the baby, if he wants to see the baby tell him to come to your house and have someone there that you trust (hopefully a large male). DO NOT take him back, learn your lesson and move forward do what's best for you and your child, if that means being alone than your better for it! There is help out there don't be afraid to use it, if you've gone to a shelter because of him this will show up on the court documents so that is a good thing. go to legal aide and start the process for sole custody. Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 09/02/2009

516

15

34

oh my... i would get a lawyer and fight it.. he sounds unstable! and he kicked you both out when your son was 4 days old! god what an ass! seriously he sounds like either he was planning this for a while.. (him and the other women) or he is seriously mentally messed up! it would make me nervous him being around my child!



good luck with everything! i hope he gets stuck with a big child support payment and limited visitation!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms