Do U single Moms ever feel lonely???

Stephaniecota - posted on 08/27/2010 ( 75 moms have responded )

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Im a single mother of 4 yr old, i have alot of with her , we're like best friends, but sometimes i wish there was someone else to share all these moments with too, or a least have my friends to hang out, and bring my daughter around.. Does anyone feel the same way?.. what do u guys do??

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Bridget - posted on 08/30/2010

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Being a mom is by far the hardest job I've ever done. It's never ending hours and doesn't allow much free time. Doing it alone doesn't help. We always want the best for our children and we forget about ourselves. My friends have left my side, most of which don't have children. The ones that do are still with their children's father or in a relationship.. so don't understand where I'm coming from. It gets extremely lonely.

Ashley - posted on 09/19/2010

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Honey, you are not alone. I have a 3 year old daughter and we go everywhere together. I have not had me-time in three years only if I want to go to the nail shop...lol...Other than that, it's always me and my applehead. Dont worry, some one special will come your way.

Ashlie - posted on 08/29/2010

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i all the time feel lonely... when im working and i see couples with their babies it makes me cry cause i dont have that... im raising my 1 yr old son alone

Tia - posted on 08/29/2010

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Yes, too often. It has been hard for me at times to always be in "Mommy Mode". I love my boys more than anything else in this world, including myself but I have recently realized that I HAVE to keep my identity as an individual, too. Even though I am only able to have free time to actually go out on dates or with friends a few times a year. I still keep up a small social network here online (to have friends to chat/share with), I sometimes enjoy going shopping while they're at school, I go to church on Sundays and attend a bible study group mid-week with other parents around my age (these are also things that the kids can go to with me, and yet be off doing their own things safely). If you're not into church or bible studies, maybe you can join some other sort of group/club that is kid friendly or that happens when she's at preschool. Maybe you could set up a babysitting night once a month with one of her friend's moms where you keep the girls one weekend night and then switch off. That way, you get to have a little fun and she will be having a blast, too spending time with a friend. Plus, you may end up becoming good friends with her friend's moms and that would open a whole new social circle for you with people who more than likely share some of your same interests.

Jennifer - posted on 08/30/2010

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Yes i understand! I have three kids 11 and 8 and a 4 year old, and very lonely too.. I try to keep myself busy with things i enjoy doing, like art or speed walks, Try to do things that make u happy with out your daughter.

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Jill - posted on 07/25/2014

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Hey Sarah

I am just recently coming to the end of my divorce and I have 3 little boys 8 and under. Nights I don't have them I feel extremely lonely. I have moved away from a close nit neighborhood and really have had a hard time socializing with the old group with exception of one. I get sad going out with my married friends and often feel judged or pitied. I had a very lonely marriage, but sometimes feel this is even lonelier. I would love to date someone as a companion, but surely know anyone. I do feel it would be great to have time with other moms with and without the kiddos to hang out and chat with. Especially on those nights when we feel so alone but feel silly telling that to people that haven't been there or understand.

Wish I had good advice, but I guess like you, I too would love great advice. Feel it will get better in time, but life is so short wasting on feeling this way a day longer.

Best of luck

Sarah Grace - posted on 07/12/2014

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I feel the exact same way. My son is 8 now and we cannot spend a night away from each other. I don't have any friends at all and no family besides my children. I stayed in a very bad relationship for several years because I was afraid of feeling this way and to this day I wonder if I made the right choice. Everyone always said I deserved better and I am still sitting here waiting for better. I wonder what's wrong with me a lot. Forget a man but I used to have lots of friends. I don't have money to join clubs and take classes plus who would watch my son. I would love to hear advice too?

Foxtrotter - posted on 06/02/2014

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I may be alone (not really because I have awesome friends!) but I do not feel lonely. I'm very happy with my life at this point.

I'm dipping my toes and starting to "date" again. One rule: I'm single, not dead! But also I'm not desperate :-)

Reema - posted on 06/01/2014

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I too have this feeling of loneliness. However I don't have any friends either whom I cud share a good time with my son who is 6yrs old.we both are like best friends too. But sometimes I really feel lonely n depressed when my son is away and I have no one around me.especially to understand me and my feelings.

Darla - posted on 04/18/2014

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Im married but my hudband has been in nursing home for over 10 yrs with tbi which left him in a vegatative state. He cant even talk. Sp ive been a single/widow (as i put it) im battling depression and lonliness. Trying to decide if i want to try and date again but scared to at the same time. My fear is growing old by myself my kids are 16,13, and 11

Shiko - posted on 05/08/2013

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My lil girl is almost 3 now. Her dad walked away when I was pregnant. I have had some lonely moments, then I look around and see the pain and suffering so many women are putting up with just so that they do not get labelled 'single mom' and I am grateful for my simple, peaceful life. Its all in the attitude :)

Gooner - posted on 05/02/2013

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hi. my name is jasper. care to exchange no. you can email me at isco_88@hotmail.com

cheer up.

Arlene - posted on 10/09/2012

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my name is arlene. i have 4 kids my youngest being a year and my oldest being 4 yrs and and my twins 3yrs. I miss adult company and friends. its hard to get out sometimes and honestly i dont have friends, how can i fix this problem or meet anyone for a playdate and adult conversation/company?

Katrina - posted on 10/06/2012

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oh my goodness i am very glad i found this page. I am a single mum of a 18muth old baby girl she my everything and loved her to bits.the last few days i have been feeling very lonely like with missing my friends having some one around. any how i am glad it all part of being a single mum as i did think why am i feeling like this and so low in my self.

Rose - posted on 08/07/2012

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All the time...But then i remember why i'm here and why i live. Its for my daughter...and i wouldn't have it any other way, and eventually Mr. right will come...and I can wait

Tiffany - posted on 02/03/2012

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Yes, I do all of the time, I have two kids a 2yr old little girl and a 3month old boy. I have not done anything about it, I have friends that I can reconnect with, but its hard for me to reach out to people and thats my own fault, I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that I am not working and concentrating on trying to find a job, which has not been easy. I have friends that I talk to on the phone but that is about it, being lonely is hard.

Florence Marie - posted on 02/01/2012

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I agree with you Vanessa. We always put our kids first and this is the reason why we are still single. :D

Celine - posted on 01/29/2012

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Take your time... When my daughter was 4 I was feeling so lonely eventhough i had my little best friend I kinda felt like I was still missing something. Her dad wasnt around anymore and I missed having someone to share things. I came across someone who I thought was the one to complete that void. It was great at first I thought I had it made with this person I was happy but then before I knew it, it was the biggest mistake. I regret desperately feeling I need it someone I was better off alone.... The result of that relationship was another baby. .....and I am single mom again of two children now. I lost all my friends and Im alone but im happy. Im ok because I have what I need my girl and boy! Enjoy Life doing things with your children and you'll see friends and fam will come thru.

Coletta - posted on 01/23/2012

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Well I understand exactly how you feel. I am a single mother of two children ages 9 and 11. I do have some friends but we don't talk much because their kids are either older, they're married, or in committed relationships, so they are always doing couple things. Then that just leaves me home alone. I am not able to socialize with anyone I work with because I work from home, so no going out to lunch with co-workers or things like that. Lately I have been getting a little depressed, but I had to pick my sad face up and push myself forward. I love my babies and they love methat's all that really matters,. I do attend church on a regular basis but most of the young adults in the church don't have children so they are free as a bird. I just look at it this way, maybe God is holding me just for that special person. and sometimes I do take myself out to eat everyonce in a while then I feel bad and order the kids something or take them out once they get out of school.

Tanya - posted on 01/22/2012

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i know that feeling it's gets alittle lonely at times but you just have to hang in there what i do some times is i take her with me and take her to places we have lunch together and so on i do what i can cause i also work and go to school so it's not easy ...

Melody - posted on 01/21/2012

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I feel that way often. I am a single mom to a five year old and she and I are best friends. Being lonely is a very familiar feeling but I try to stay busy. If I am not working I try to keep my daughter and I busy. We go to the park, or museum, or go to lunch or dinner together. We go visit family. I try to keep us moving so that those lonely feelings will not over take me. You can also try joining some single mom networks around where you live, that is what I am looking into now. Hope this helps you out.

Carol - posted on 06/03/2011

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Why don't you hang out with your friends? If your friends love you, they'll love your daughter too. Are there other mom friends you can connect with through your daughter's preschool or other activities? My married and single friends with or without kids have been very supportive. Just start asking people, you will be surprised at what you'll find in the way of support/friendship.

Jessica - posted on 06/02/2011

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I am also a single mom with a 4year old baby girl her father walked out on us about 9 months ago. hes been hooking up with all sorts of girls! but for some reason I cant move on I dont want to hurt my daughter. so it gets real lonely it sucks not having someone there to share all them wonderful and exciting moments.

Sarah - posted on 09/18/2010

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being A single mother is a tough job and it can get lonely I am to busy to feel real lonely fulltime college student with a 6yr old son and one on the way sometimes it would be nice to share the moments with but in other ways its better this way just keep your head up! and try to not over step the parent/friend line can be hard cuz she is the only on there but our kids need a strong mother more then anything !!! ♥ most towns/citys have playgroups or activites i would look in to them it will help both of u make some friend! ♥

Jennifer - posted on 09/18/2010

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I so agree if it wasnt for the internet I wouldn't know what to do with myself. LOL! I live for facebook these days.

Kristina - posted on 09/03/2010

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I think we all feel that way. I have found the best way is to either make friends with other moms, either through my church or sites like this, and hang out with them on weekends. or I invite my friends over after my daughter has gone to bed. That way they don't have to deal with a child running around when they aren't used to that.

Kim - posted on 09/03/2010

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I also understand. I am a single mommy to a 5 year old and now a 4 month old. my 5 year olds father was abusive and he has not been involved at all. I live in a ccity away from family. My friends are eithor married or single with no children so hard for them to relate. I never did anything without my 5 year old for 5 years. The time away was while i went to work and she was in daycare. I never had babysitters as I felt it was my responsibility to be there as I had her. As well it's difficult too hand your child to a babysitter unless you know them very very well. I loved and continue too love evry minute of it but at the same time wish I had some more time with another adult.... I wish i could share the joyful moments with another adult. Perhaps yoou can join a single parents meet up group so that the kids can play and parents can enjoy each others time. You will also relate better with someone in your same situation.

Melissa - posted on 09/03/2010

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It's very hard and lonely at times. My three boys are my life, my heart and soul, the breath in my lungs. I would do anything and everything for them. They bring me the greatest joy. I try to keep myself as busy as I can but it's the great moments of the day that you wish you had someone by your side to share with, the quiet moments at night when the day comes to an end and you wish you had that one person that you trust everything with to be in their arms; to talk with and share moments of the day - both good and bad. Trust me, I'm there and scared that it will be that way for a long time. Feeling lonely is one of the things that I'm afraid to show, I try to portray a strong person who can do it all. Really, I want to have loving, caring arms to be in

Jessica - posted on 09/03/2010

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i often feel lonely. i sit and cry sometimes after my boys go to bed. i have yet to fins a man who wants to date someone with 2 small children. but i dont want to just introduce anyone into their lives. they deserve the best and i wont settle for less when it comes to them. i asko dont want them to get attached to that person and then be heart broken if it doesnt work.

Nikki - posted on 09/03/2010

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I can't say I ever really feel "lonely" but I can relate with you for sure as I am a 42 year old single mother . My two oldest children are grown now and I rarely see them and my son is 4 in October (we were abandoned when he was 8 months old) so for me after staying single for 12 years, raising my first two and then meeting and marrying my son's father only to have him vanish on us was very hard. I miss the "idea" of him as a father and partner when in reality he never was either for us . Sad but true. I don't have many friends with young children and the ones whom do are married so it's just me and my son 24/7 . I wouldn't know what it was like if my son was picked up every other weekend for a visit with Dad! I do find it hard some days as it can wear on you when you never get a break and i never do . As much as I love my son i think it's only healthy he should spend some time away from MOmma ! I think it would really do us both alot of good :) So for me I feel "alone" as opposed to "lonely" :) My heart breaks when I see families at the store,park,etc and it 's tough but I pray alot :) i do wish sometimes my son and I had someone to share life with and someone who would enjoy getting a kick out of the cute things my boy does. I also wish he had a male figure in his life to play ball with him etc . I do it all with him as in fishing , riding bikes, baseball ,soccer etc LOL !! I get really tired at my age!!! I know what his father is missing out on and that hurts as well . Again, I pray alot and ask for guidance and strength !!! Oh and patience some days when my boy is really wound up!!!!! LOL, I do pray God will send us someone one day :) I can't ever leave the house as I have no one to keep my son so literally we are home 24/7 with the exception of me taking him outside to play and as I said to fish etc. so to me I get cobwebs in my head as I long for adult conversation so badly !!!!! I can't do anything else for now as my son is still just 3 so I have to wait for pre-k to start so I can get some "me" time ! I have not been anywhere literally since he was born . I am sure God will send you and I both someone worthy of us and our beautiful children :) God has his time which is different from ours . I understand I promise but like my father always says , "Time changes everything" :) hope I have helped and not depressed you !!! God Bless you both and i will pray for you , Nikki :)

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I reached out and surrounded myself with lots of resources. In addition, I am a distance runner and the running/racing community provided great distraction, entainment and social networking for me. It's okay to take time for yourself and start focusing on your personal growth; you need adult time with "Grown-ups". Open up the community event pages in your local newspaper; I introduced my daughter to free jazz concerts in the park. You'd be amazed at how many men attempted to pick me up. (lol). Plenty of things to do out there regardless of your limitations...LIVE YOUR LIFE!

Christina - posted on 09/02/2010

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yes i do get lonely.. i love my son with all my heart. and he keeps me pretty occupied and keeps my mind off of it. but on down times... not so much. its hard to keep your head up for your child and urself when you feel lonely. i get with some single friends that have kids. or i try to do something that will preoccupy me.

Ashlie - posted on 09/02/2010

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my son will be 1 five days after i turn 19.... he was the best birthday gift ive ever had... hes my blue sky on a rainy day... i may be young but i work to support my son... i dont need a man to help me... yes i get lonely... but my priority is my son... forever... im lucky as my friends would tell me cause my mom will baby sit for me while i go to school and i work... but i think its worth it... he made me grow up and focus on the good things

Nikkita - posted on 09/01/2010

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My daughter is only 6 months old, and I feel that same way sometimes. It really sucks sometimes because I just want somebody to share with. So, just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Amy - posted on 09/01/2010

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feel exactly the same all my m8s constantly talk bout their fellas, i defo dontwana hear it, its depresin!!!

Dominique - posted on 09/01/2010

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I am a single mom and have a 4 year old son. He is everything to me and we have sooo much fun together. Its def the moments with someone else I long for. Its difficult at times when your out at the park or somthing and see other parents with there kids and for me its just me and Kayden. I miss it sometimes, but most of the time I make sure that he is happy and knows that I am always going to be here for him no matter what.

Shaquentalin - posted on 09/01/2010

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yes I do sometimes, but I look at my baby girl face & say to myself, "as long as I have her I will never be lonely"...I dnt need a man in my life because I h have a beautful daughter & she'll NEVER be replaced as my "LOVE"!!!!!

Heather - posted on 09/01/2010

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Oh ya me and old man lonely are old pals... lol! Don't worry though it gets better! My advice... Find friends that have children your daughters age.. make play dates.. go to the park... go to the gym... Don't just sit around and feel sorry for yourself... that will make it worse! You probably wo't have the same friends as before but if you work at it you can have new ones that both you and your daughter can learn from... Prayers heather5

Cassie - posted on 08/31/2010

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i am kinda a singel mother i have a boyfriend but he is not always here he has taken place of the real father. not being with someone that truly understands wht has happened makes me feel lonly i feel like im on my own and sometimes i dont know wht to do.i wish i had some more help but i have been stuggiling and im trying to stand back on my own to feel and i feel like it is hard to do with me being 20 and i dont really have a good job but being lonely is a part of being a singel parent. i just keep my head held high and tell myself i can do it that i have to do it for my son he is my everything he is the reason my life cotinues to get better i hope urs dose to.

Nikki - posted on 08/31/2010

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I have one thing to SAY.... get a sitter and LIVE... do not be afraid or lonely to be in your own company .. I am a single mom with a 3 year old and love it!!! I have no need for anything .... I do not miss a man but rely on my best friend but not always ....

Nicky - posted on 08/31/2010

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yes I am the single mother of an Energetic Three year old! And yes there are plenty of times I have wished I had someone else! But at the same time I am scarred that me and her will get hurt again! But then you have the other side that hurts and says why not?!? I am currently waging these two thoughts back and forth... I am a single mom who works, goes to school and I still have time to feel lonely! I find that texting people or frineds or single mothers helps me out?

Marie B - posted on 08/31/2010

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i feel the same way am a mother of two boys a 4mo old and a 2yr old, and sometimes i miss there dad n stuff. but i know i have to move on and find someone else to share with but its hard so i just keep myself occupied with different projects and just enjoy my kids you know.....so just feel better and take ya time

Emma - posted on 08/31/2010

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when my kids were little a couple of us single mums would get 2gether and take the kids 2 the park 2 tire them out then go back 2 one of our houses take a bowl or plate of food each feed everyone then put the kids 2 bed with a film on upstairs till they fell asleep then us girls would have a girlie nite downstairs and all sleep over. was great fun !! x

Cathy - posted on 08/31/2010

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yes often y daughter in two and it sucks that when i want to take a pic of us doing something fun to catch a special moment or funny facei am the one that has to take it . when we go to the water pad to play she is the only one in the picture cause i am the one taking it .

Tina - posted on 08/31/2010

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i have a 3 yr old and 9 yr old. we moved to florida about a year ago and i've been having trouble frinding friends or a date. i decided that this year i'll join ll the events at their schools and hope to find people with the same family values as mine.

Beverly - posted on 08/31/2010

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I am a single mom of four children. I feel lonely alot. The only thing that helps me is that my community has a lot of oppurtunities for parent support. They even offer a parents day out. See what your community has to offer, you may be surprised.

Racheal - posted on 08/31/2010

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Sometimes I do get lonely, I've been single since I had my daughter, about seven years. I've dated once or twice, but finding someone that I feel I can really truly trust with my daughter is hard. So pretty much I've decided to be happily single. I spend alot of time with my daughter, she is like my best friend. It's funny, because being a single mom is sometimes like a different world, lots of people have play dates and get together for family bbq's with other parents, but it's often a couples thing, not something I really dig. I guess I got lucky, because I love to read. I get my share of adults at work and in school (am in nursing school). It's hard to say what to do for someone you don't know very well, but I find hobbies are a great way to spend the time, especially stuff you can share with your child, but also stuff you do alone, you need that time. Joining a gym is good for some people, many of them have child care and the group exercising can be really fun.

[deleted account]

i know what you mean, i love spending all day with my 9 month old but when he goes to sleep at the end of the day I wish i had someone i could call up and invite around or just chat to over the phone. I have recently discovered a play group for under 25's in my area so I can't wait to start next week and hopefully make some new friends not only for me but for my son too

Dawn - posted on 08/31/2010

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yes I do feel lonely, I work 2 jobs and live with my 2 girls and my mom recently moved it. Its a full house but yes, I miss having someone in my life to share things with, cry on there shoulder, even someone to go thru the rough patches with, but I am holding out for the right guy. Why, because I am worth that much and I would rather be single and lonely than with the wrong guy for all the wrong reasons.

Reham - posted on 08/31/2010

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i know how u feel and i feel the same Im a single mother for 2 boys 3 years and 8 month, i wish if i can have some one to share with me anything and everything i love my kids so much but still its v hard to be alone all the time.

Cara - posted on 08/31/2010

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I DAMN hard to adjust to. i had a daddy around but he had a wondering penis so out the door with him. I have a fantastic support structure but its not the same. i miss it but at the same time im sooooo much happyer alone!!!

Malou - posted on 08/30/2010

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Yes, Single Moms feel lonely. I do felt lonely and wished at least theres one person will come and be our hero. Single Moms need love, needs attention. just like anyone else.

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