Do you have a substitute/dead beat daddy?

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i am glad to see we have our own page ladies :) it is ashame however that their are so many children who will not have a daddy in their lives. my ex is abusive. he tried to kill her when i was preggo and when left in charge of he rone day he didnt feed her or give her a nap or fulfill any of her needs. she was 7 months old when i left and thankfully doesnt have a whole lot of recollection. just enough to be careful of men which isnt a bad thing. lol she is 19 months now and he has seen her maybe 5 times since i left. he doesnt pay his child support but he does call her on the phone. he still knows nothing about her and she has no memory of him or realization that he is her father. it makes me sick how he can put on a good father act for his family yet 2 out of 3 of his children dont know him and the one that does is a long messed up story. he doesnt know what being a man or a parent is about and it is truly a shame that he will miss out on such a wonderful girl because he is too childish.

Jill - posted on 11/27/2010

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My son is now 5 1/2 months old and has only seen his father once... When he was 2 months. We had been together for 4 years when I found out I was pregnant, he seemed happy but very quickly went the other way... He went a little crazy. I left him because I knew things would not work with us, but told him if he could come to terms with the fact he would be a dad I had no problems keeping him involved in our son's life. Throughout the pregnancy he avoided speaking to me... Wouldn't answer emails or phone calls asking if he wanted to be involved or not. So I assumed he didn't want to be a part of it. He never showed up at the hospital, and has only come once to see him. He is living with his parents, who refuse to even acknowledge the fact they have a grandson, so I will not take my son to their house ( until they can deal with the fact he's here ). I am now seeing someone else who is amazing with my little guy and makes me very happy, but I still get angry at the baby's father for ignoring the whole thing. I don't understand how you can go see your child, and then pretend like he doesn't exist. I haven't tried to het any kind of support out of him because I really don't need it, and I really don't want to fight about it. If he decides to step up and be a father the door has been open from the beginning, but i'm not going to force it. Which leads me to another thing that upsets me (and everyone tells me to ignore but it's hard)... We live in a small town, and him and his friends are telling peole I just won't let him see his son, even though I have told him he is more than welcome to come and visit whenever he wants. So now people think I am a horrible person for refusing him his "rights" as a father. I do feel bad that my son won't know his dad ( unless he steps up ) but I believe he us better off not knowing his dad if this is the kind of treatment he is going to get.

Barb - posted on 10/15/2010

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My daughters father has seen her 7 times since she was born now she's 10 months old. He is almost 32 years old has showed no responsiability for her. He has given her a Christmas present $40 and stuffed animal since she was born. He tells me I put myself in the sitution I should think before I speak. I asked him for a little money to help raise our daughter and he told me he couldn't give me anything and called back freaking on me tell me saying I make him feel like a bad person like he can't do anything. I just asked if I could have some money to support her wasn't rude and told him don't worry about it. She dosen't know who he is at all she doesn't know who her grandma is or aunt or her uncle or cousin. Known of them really try. Pretty much he likes the idea that he tell people I have a daughter, but not actually see her on a regular basis, have to do any of the work to take care of her or pay for her. I can't understand how he can got a week let alone months without seeing her. It just makes me mad and feel bitter towards him. We met and he sees her every few months it causes me stress and I just feel even madder after . Is it really worth it for her I struggle with this all the time. Like he'll call and ask what she's doing like that mintue not what is learning what is she doing that's me or ask too much too much about her. He calls every week or so, but it's like he calls cause he feels like he should not like he wants to and the call is 5 minutes long at most.Anyways thanks I needed to rant a little. I just get so mad sometimes.

Angelic - posted on 09/27/2010

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Don't push it on him...won't be worth your headache, i don't how you feel. My first sons dad pulled the same bull, said he would be there at birth. Never did and i haven't seen him since he got me pregnant. Not be a downer but he may not be around, hope you have his social.

Saskia - posted on 09/23/2010

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Im a Dutch single mom and my son's New-Zealand Dad doesn't care at all. My son will be 5 on October 6 and since he was 2 he's been asking for his Dad. I feel sorry for the boy as he's torn between 'I love my Daddy' and 'I hope he dies!' and there really is no excuse as there are Internetcafés, I know he has a laptop and Skype is free!

It took me until now that I just don't care anymore. HE missed out on heaps of milestones and will be for the rest of his live (as he won't catch up anymore) and because of hís attitude towards his son he's alienating himself.

Shaquentalin - posted on 09/09/2010

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My daughter is 4mths old & has never seen her dad. He was not present at the birth because he was gone away for some army training in Missouri, they would have let him come back to see her be born but he claims he never knew my due date after I told him so many times...Throughout my intire pregnancy I felt like he didnt care about me or my baby. He never called or leave any messenges to check upon me to see how was me & the baby was doin. All he ever did was give excuses. Last week was the first time we talked in months & never did he bring her name I had to just for him to conversate about her. He recently moved to Germany because thats where he's station at in the army but now he's back in town & keep saying he would stop by to see his daughter for the first but hasn't done so yet. Im starting to feel like he doesn't really care about or ven love her like he says he does. & I honestly don't want her to grow up without a father in her life because I know what thats like...I stopped calling, leavinig texts & emails because it was simply a waste of time when he never replies to any of them. I figure if he truly loves our daughter & wanna be in her life he would show me by coming by n spending time with her, buying her baby things that would make up for what he haven't done in her life...She needs a father & I wish he would be a man & be a father to his child.

Amanda - posted on 08/31/2010

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That kinda sounds like my sons father. Isaac is 4months old and his father has seen him 3times. I have had to take him there each time he has not made an effort at all. He is too interested in his new fiance and their soon to be baby and not going to jail. He don't even reply when I tell him about the new this that Isaac has been doing. I really wish that he wanted to be part of his life, but how ever I have an amazing boyfriend now who loves Isaac to pieces and has willing step into the daddy role so don't really need the father anyways.

Katrina - posted on 08/30/2010

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That Sounds alot like my daughters dad. he has seen her once and she will be 8 months on september 2nd. he comes up with all kinds of excuses as towhy he doesnt come see her. he doesnt even help out financially at all and his name is not on the birthcertificate either. it gets hard sometimes but then i realize that she has my dad around so she doesnt need him if he cant make time for her.

Bec - posted on 08/27/2010

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Hi girls... my babies dad has seen her 3 times since she was born 3 months ago ... he was present at the birth but put off signing her birth certificate untill we did a DNA test to prove he was the father.. he has left the town we live in to move back home with his mum... i am always asking him when he is coming to see his daughter and he says SOON!!!!... and i relpy by saying i dont think u want to see her... and he is saying he does but if he wanted to see her he would be making more effort to see her i would think anyway... yes its his 1st child but you think he would want to spend more time getting to know his daughter...

every time i try to help him he changes the subject or says he is busy and has to go... i dont want my baby to grow up not knowing her dad...

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