Do you prefer being a single parent instead of a co-parent?
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Michelle - posted on 03/06/2012
As little girls we didn't dream of growning up alone with kids. We wanted the perfect husband prince charming and the beautiful house and adorable well manered children. As a teen I had such low self esteme I knew that I would never get married who could ever love me enought to marry me. I knew that I would have my children later in my and I knew I would be a single parent because of my self esteme. Now I have a 9yr old and until 2008 I still had that poor self image. In 2008 I found that perfect man he loves me unconditionaly he thinks I'm beautiful and he helped me find the person inside of me. Now I long to get married and provide the father my son keeps asking for. I just have to wait because God has a plan for me and it will play out when he knows I'm ready for it, but thats ok he's got me this far in 3 wonderful years. So I guess the answer to your question is No I'd much rather be a co parent and my son deserves only the best but right now the best is just me.
Sherry - posted on 10/24/2011
Same here, Allison. I haven't been a parent for a long time (my daughter is only 7), but I don't know anything different than being a single parent. And that is one of the many reasons that I would never date anyone while she lives under my room. I don't want the drama in her life.
Sherry - posted on 10/18/2011
I like the term sole-parent. However, when I read someone calling themselves a single parent, I read it as they are the only parent the child has. I don't read it as someone who is simply unmarried or not with the father.
I have no idea as to what it is like to be a co-parent. I would imagine that it would be much harder to be a co-parent. Since I am a single parent, there are no battles to be faught as there would if I was a co-parent. Every decision is mine.
But the most important thing for me as a single parent is that I don't have to worry about who she is with. I know at all times who she is with. If she had to go to the sperm donor's house every other weekend, I don't know what I would do.
Eronne - posted on 10/16/2011
These two terms always make be chuckle because they omit the category of parents with the biggest burden. I suggest we have co-parent, single-parent and sole-parent. I was a sole parent and as seems to be the norm, I associated with many single parents and some cos. The mom's in a co-parent relationship schedule me time, had a girls night out, the odd shopping day and had a partner for the life events and chores. The single-parent moms had every second weekend or more, solid vacation time in the summer and some relationship during all holidays. The sole parent, parents 365 days a year unless supported by friends and relatives. If the sole parent has three or more kids, its pretty much 24/7 for 18 years.
We all cope with our responsibilities differently. As a sole-parent, my life choice had to be to dedicate all my time to my children. There was no way to manage work, the home, the kids and a relationship so I put my personal life on hold for the time....now done, it was worth every second and nothing in my life has been more rewarding. I would have liked a co-parenting relationship but most likely would have had trouble sharing vacations in a single-parenting relationship.
Jessica - posted on 10/22/2009
i love being a single parent. it goes my way and i dont have to battle over which way to do what. I don't have to cook for a sorry sod every night and put up with his bullshit mind games and pay attention to me blahblahblah. Best of all i dont have to do it haha, coz like, omg, as if i would do thAt any time soon! My baby is perfect and he aint gonna get screwed up by a dicky father
MJ - posted on 10/22/2009
I wish I could run out in the middle of the night to buy groceries or wake up next to my guy but I definitley like the fact my ex lives on the other side of the continent. I have been able to get my kids healthy both the way they eat and their attitudes towards others. My girls love their dad and he is flying out next week but I know I will have to deal with a full month of stress re-teaching them how to be nice and how they don't get everything they want etc...etc..
Ashley Nicole - posted on 10/22/2009
I completely agree...happy and single is a million times better than miserable and married. My son was 2.5 months premature and i'm soaking in all the time i can b4 i HAVE to go to work. He just turned a year. I do wish I could be a stay at home mom forever...a working husband would help. lol
Ashley - posted on 10/22/2009
I enjoy being a mom regardless if the father wants to be a dad. In everything in life there are advantages and disadvantages....u want the best for your kids but that doesnt always seem to happen like that. i feel a split happy home is 100 times better than a unhappy couple.
Susan - posted on 10/21/2009
If it means not having alot of drama and fighting, then yes, I prefer to be a single
parent. In my heart I know how important it is to have a father and I wish that my
sons father would see that and step up and be the man he should be. Time will tell
all I can do is put it in God's hands and do my best to have alot of positive male
role models around for my son.
Chantel - posted on 10/21/2009
I enjoy being a single mom BUT sometimes it would be nice to have the space or time to myself just for a second. I am happy for what I have and happy that I can provide for my daughter on my own. I do wish she had a positive father figure in her life and not a father that chose to live with his new family hundreds of miles away. It would be nice to share responsibilities instead of it all on my shoulders. If she gets sick I have to be there and nobody else. Being a single parent you're the only one there to take care of EVERYTHING. Sometimes it's hard but I think I'm doing a good job :-)
Sarah - posted on 10/21/2009
brought my 2 up for 7 years on my own, and wouldn't have it any other way even thou at times it is so very hard at least when they go to bed the remote is all mine LOL x and so is the love and hugs and the credit for well behaved kids x
Eronne - posted on 10/21/2009
omg...I have always thought that was so obvious. I have been a sole parent for almost all my childrens' lives and it has been hard. The worst part was never, ever getting any time off. Even on nights out knowing that once the babysitter was gone it was my responsibility kept me first and foremost a mom. I was often envious of my girlfriends that got every second weekend to get their hair done, go to the gym and hang out with the girls, not having to worry about their kids. A couple of weeks in the summer would have been heaven too. And I can say this while loving my children more than life. If your child's Dad wants to help and is a good guy, that's wonderful for you and your kids.
Mandy - posted on 10/20/2009
yeah it was the same for me no father around and me my mom and sister. I never did they guy things so thinking of the guy things for me is hard. 2 boys I don't have MUCH of a choice than to do the guy things!!
Christine - posted on 10/20/2009
I agree with you. It is hard trying to raise boys when I myself grew up without a father and a house full of girls. Now I have 3 boys and it is a whole new world....yep having a guy around for the "guy things" would be wonderful.
Mandy - posted on 10/20/2009
I liked the co-parent thing better but I wouldn't change my situation for anything. It's hard to handle everything by myself. I have to get two kids dressed every morning try and control a 4 year old and carry a HEAVY carseat by myself. I deal with the middle of the night wake up calls, the nightmares, the tantrums, two bath times, and all the stuff in between sometimes I just want that break. Nap times are slim and far between. I LOVE though every night I get to sit in the room with my kids and read to them and cuddle up with them and tuck them in at night. I love that the first thing they see every morning is me. I love that when they see me their eyes light up and give me loves. I just wish they had someone to do the guy things with more often.
Christine - posted on 10/20/2009
Being a single parent does have its advantages but it also has its down falls. I enjoy being a single parent because what I say goes. They can't come tell me well Dad said I could. On the other hand when it gets really complicated and times are very trying I miss not having someone to step in and say its okay I got this. Kinda a difficult question to answer to bad we can't have the best of both worlds.