Do you think childhood is harder on bi-racial children?
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Courtney - posted on 05/03/2010
I come from a hugely racially mixed family, and have continued the traditional by having a bi-racial daughter. I don't know, from their point of view, if being mixed is more difficult. My daughter will know all of her heritages (I'm Irish, English, French, and Polish, her dad is Black). I loved growing up around all the different ethnicities in my family. I'm sure there are people who will not like her or treat her poorly because they think she is something, but you will have that no matter what you are.
This day and age, I believe there are more racially mixed children than there are "pure bred" (for lack of a better word,I'm sorry if anyone's offended) children. I think it's great. My daughter got some great traits from both of us and as time goes on, she can identify herself as she sees fit. And it won't hurt that there are many others in our family who have gone through it before her, so if she needs help, or there is something I cannot explain because I'm fully Caucasian, then there are plenty of others she can turn to who love her, no matter what race she is...
Karen - posted on 05/03/2010
Wow I'm so shocked at some of the posts on here! Black & white! My daughter is mixed race, she is not black & white! and since when are people black or even white! Your labelling yourselves without even realising! I know there is racism in the world, always has been and always will be. Fact! while humans exist so will racism. Sad that it is. However, stop with this my son/daughter is black and white! We are a world of many ppl and there are races of people hence mixed race!
It's up to us as parents to teach our children as best we can, so that when they grow up they will be better adults than the ones of today. Education is the only way to maybe lower racism.
I live in a town where the population are mostly caucasion my daughter does get starred at quite often and people stop me all the time to say how beautiful she is, It is annoying! But then again my daughter is stunning! I could say that the reason is because she's mixed race, and it is! However i used to get starred at and laughed at in school days because ppl can't believe how small I am! (5ft)! Racism comes in many ways it isn't just about skin colour. So teach your children to be strong and understanding of other peoples uniqueness! Its what makes us who we are!
Jayne - posted on 05/02/2010
my 2month old daughter is mixed anglo and jamaican (and also im australian and her dad is american). sometimes people ask me if her father is dark, but almost always with an additional comment on how gorgeous she is or how pretty her curls are etc.
my dad is the only person i'v heard say racist things (ie about cotton farms...) but i know he is just joking, he completely adores her.
im probably being naieve but i really dont envision any kind of problem about her colour in her future. if she asks why she looks different to mummy i will show her a picture of her daddy and explain that she is a mixture. and if any person ever says anything rude in front of me i will happily tell whoever that they are ignorant and unintelligent and that i love my daughter because she is clever and kind and that i happen to think she is the most beautiful little girl i have ever seen. and she's probably going to amount to much much more than the child of an idiot.
but honestly i think bi racial couples and children are so common nowdays (at least in aus) that no-one will look twice at us, or her, let alone make comment.
Julie - posted on 05/02/2010
My 5 year old son is 1/2 black and 1/2 white. We live in Washington, just north of Seattle. And it is so diverse here! I love it. All I can do is hope he doesn't suffer from any negative comments. We've encountered a few comments directed at us over the years, and all I do is laugh it off. I hope to teach him not to take other people's ignorant comments personally.
Cara - posted on 05/02/2010
I still there are difficult moments but not anywhere near as bad as they used to be :)
I'm Australian/Bosnian and 2 of my children are Me/Aboriginal.
There are still so many prejudices but our persona plays a huge part....teach them and they'll handle it fine :)
Stacey - posted on 05/02/2010
@ Christal - It does make things harder when the family makes comments also. I was taught that everyone was equal, then when I was pregnant, everything changed. It hurts and children are not stupid. But I will say that I am amazed by the turnaround in family members, even older ones. There is hope. :)
Stacey - posted on 05/02/2010
You may try keep your child from seeing themselves as bi-racial, but it is hard when it is constantly being pointed out by others. Especially in a primarily white community. My children have been the only child of color in their class for almost all of the time they have been in school. The town I grew up in, is a few miles away and it was completely "white". (although I don't really believe that there is anyone consisting of only one race)
They are bombarded with racial slurs and jokes coming from their "friends". From the time they were little, children would come up and ask why they were a different color from me.
If you are in a more diverse community, there shouldn't be such problems. Seems like there shouldn't be any anywhere by now.
The best thing you can do for them, is listen to them, stand up for them and show them they are loved and all the amazing qualities they have, just like any child.
Karmi - posted on 05/02/2010
@ Christal Tanner- I had the same problem with my son. He is also mexican and black. His dad is black so he was rude when he was first born, saying he's a mexican baby and he looks nothing like him. He still makes comments and so does his family. It's hard because I don't know if they are trying to hurt me, but it does. Regardless, he is their family also, so why judge him? I would never judge someone in my family or point out something like that. It's just plain rude, hopefully they'll stop sooner then later.
Christal - posted on 05/01/2010
my son is black and hispanic and he looks more mexican then blck and it kinda pisses me off when ppl have to make a comment is he mixed he looks mexican i stay in the atlanta and it mostly my family who make rude comments so i really think some times you have to pritect your child from the ppl that closes to you. im afraid that when he's old enough to understand they are going to lower his self confidance so i just prepare my self for the conversation in the feature to let him know that hes no different he's human like everyone esle. now a days any way mixed race ppl are the marjorty anyway
Nkele - posted on 05/01/2010
create no space for ur child not to see themselves as bi-racial. I m African and dating an Indian guy and I dont see him as someone of a different race but rather someone I love and would love to have children with one day.
Yvette - posted on 05/01/2010
yes it is you have to talk to your child constanley because it is hard i remember hearing things like our confused or i felt like people wanted me to prove how black or spanish i was smh @ignorance lots of talks are important
Natalia - posted on 05/01/2010
Personally for me it was hard being bi-racial. My father is Mexican and my mother is white. I was raised with my mom and my step-dad, who was also white in a small town in Oklahoma. I was really dark as a child and I never felt I fit the mold of the 'all american' girl and I didn't fit in with the other mexican kids because I only speak English. Times have changed and there are more bi-racial children than before. Different is considered cool and like I read another mother say, build 'character' confidence in your child. My favorite quote is by Martin Luther King Jr. " I have a dream that one day my children will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
Sylvia - posted on 05/01/2010
No, it should not be no harder than any single race. People love the way bi-racial children look. They may even have an advantage in life where other's don't. Although, the environment where you live could have a lite effect on it, but that probably is either ignorance or jealousy, one or the other, so live, laugh and love.
Jasmine - posted on 04/30/2010
I'm mixed also and I never had any problems until my parents had gotten stationed in Kansas; I never knew about discrimination and racism until then. It was very hard on me for the time that I was there.
I just think it depends on where you live because I was born and raised mostly in Hawaii which there's a bit of every race so you won't really see that there. I plan on moving back in a year or two so I don't think my son will have any problems like I did.
Karmi - posted on 04/30/2010
I am bi-racial my self and my son is also. I think it could be harder for him, atleast with the elderly crowd. I have already had a man say that my son will feel no place in life and I shouldn't have put him through that. It's crazy how heartless some can be. My son is still a human being and a person with feelings, although he may be 1, an older man should never attack a child like that. Which of course I snapped. But I didn't have problems growing up and I doubt my son will.
Stacey - posted on 04/29/2010
Yes, I do think that it is harder on bi-racial children. I didn't believe that it would be, but especially in this area, it can get hard. I have a son and daughter that are black and white. My son is younger and hasn't seen quite as much yet, but my teenage daughter has gone through more than I ever thought she would. I guess I was niave, I thought that they would have the best of both "worlds". But, she has gone through harassment and discrimination because she is "black". Even worse, her "friends" say racial jokes thinking that with her being "white" that she won't mind.
Alot has gone on in this town from hanging nooses (sp) in lockers, to racial grafetti on the bathroom walls. I wish that I could make it all go away. I never believed that the world could still be so hateful and ignorant.
I just have to be there for them and remind them of how beautiful and amazing they really are.
Nadja - posted on 04/28/2010
I am a mixed child myself and I will tell you that you need to give your child a good sense of where he belongs, depend truly on the friends also. The black kids never accepted me as black and the white told me I was black. Being my dad is white and my mom is Black. I was raised in the Caribbean so I can only imagine the States
However to be honest with you mixed kids tend to understand you better and the know what you are going thru, just instill strong values and that will make all the difference.
Sarah - posted on 04/28/2010
It depends on where you live. If you live in a rural area, it might be. If you're in a good sized town or city, it shouldn't be a problem at all. My kids are white and puerto rican. The only thing that has ever happened is them getting stared at when their dad visits their school. (they inherited my light skin and he's pretty dark skinned)
All I know for sure is some of the most beautiful children I've ever seen were mixed. My girls have a year round natural tan that most of their friends are jealous about.
Jennifer - posted on 04/28/2010
I agree with Heather. I live in rural Osawatomie, Ks. My son is 1/2 black 1/4 panamian 1/4 indian and my daughter is 1/2 black & 1/2 white. When we lived in kck black people gave me crap about them and down here some of the white people see them and realize they are mixed and will speak to me. I just heard a girl say people should stay with their own race because it's harder on mixed children.
Also my brother is black and white and i remember him coming home from school when we were little and telling my mom that he didn't care if he was black or white he just wanted to be one thing. Now we were born and raised in middle class Olathe, Ks, back then there wasn't a lot of black people there and very few patch work (mixed) families. How do you react if at all to someone say that????
Thanks ladies for your feedback.
Lauren - posted on 04/27/2010
you know...i am afraid of this as well. my son is black and white and his father is not in the picture to help me deal with things that may come up. i worry that my son will be discriminated against. it is so far beyond my own comprehension that hate still exists, that its hard for me to even try to explain it. i plan on just loving the hell out of my kid and telling him how beautiful he is. to accept himself and not let other people's ignorance make him feel bad about himself.
Heather - posted on 04/27/2010
I think it really depends on where you live. My town, it won't be easy for my daughter, she's mixed black and white. But i'm hoping by the time she's in school I will be out of this town. I want to make it as easy for her as possible.