Do you think your child should have his or her dad's last name

Theresa - posted on 11/08/2009 ( 113 moms have responded )

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Some mom's do not care if a child is in their dad's last name. I believe it is their birth right

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Desiree - posted on 11/13/2009

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Both of my kids have my last name, he wasn't there for me while I was pregnant and then last year he all of the sudden wanted to be a family and that is how we ended up with the second one and then he decided he wanted someone else and again wasn't there isn't there and has not ever supported either one of then through child support or even buying them anything. I gave them my last name because I don't want him to have a right to them. I have a legal will that prevents him from getting them if something ever happens to me. He is a lowlife that I made the mistake of being with but I am not going to let him ruin my childrens lives.

Carly - posted on 11/13/2009

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it really depends on your situation! i was 16 when i got pregnant and me and my daughters father were together but when it came to the birth certificate i chose for her to have my surname and i am glad i did, he wasnt happy or his family but neither him or his family helped me with anything, but i stayed with my babys dad because i didnt want to be alone even though i had my family and friends but we split up when my daughter was nearly 2 and i have always said that i will tell my daughter who her father is because she obviously has the right to know. so it does really depend on your situation! good luck!

Alicha - posted on 11/13/2009

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my daughter has my last name bcuz her father was acting crazy my last few months b4 i had her.but b4 that i planned on givin her his last name

Monique - posted on 11/13/2009

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Well i just had my daughter about a month ago and she has my last name...i mean her dad isnt really in the picture but he was the one that told me that he wanted our daughter to have my last name....so it pretty much worked out since he really doesnt come around or calls and checks on her....

Tatum - posted on 11/13/2009

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I think it depends on the father i DO NOT THINK IT IS THE FATHERS RIGHT! it is something they must earn. I have 2 boys. my older boy has my last name. when i found out i was PG with him his dad begged me to have an abortion and has nothing to do with my son. my yonger boy has his fathers last name. we are not married but he has been there through everything. the complications, the illness, good times and bad. I know even if we dont make it as a couple, he will always be a part of his sons life. That is why his son has his name. just because they created the child does not make them a father. being there for there child makes them a father. I am 100% happy with the decision i made for my kids names. and when they get older and ask me why, i will tell them why. If I do marry my yonger son's father, i will hyphonate my name.

Zonia - posted on 11/13/2009

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I am a single mom of five kids, and all my kids have my last name. I think because I got my children without being married that the father has to earn the right for the kids to have his name and now they grown up they can choose if they want to have their fathers last name.I mean if they think that he deserve that honor.

Yvonne - posted on 11/13/2009

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This was a huge topic amongst my friends and I when I decided not to give my child his father's last name. I felt since his father really was not in the picture (and 3 months out of the year don't count) and showed no interest of being a father, I chose to give my son his grandfather's and my last name. My son's father nor his family are active in his life. Well actually, they act like he doesn't exist. Another reason being, we were not married and didn't feel my non had to have his father's last name. Have I regret it, NO. Would I do it again, YES! I think each mother has to make that decision for themselves, what feels right and not out of spite!



~onelove~

Christella - posted on 11/13/2009

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my daughter has my last name because the father isn't in the picture. I think it's up to the mother if she wants her baby to have her last name or the fathers.

Waulonda - posted on 11/13/2009

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All depends on the situation. If you're marry or if he is a good father; yes. But if he is a dead beat then no. Some men are not worth giving your child his last name.

Antoinette - posted on 11/13/2009

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My daughter has my last name because her father wasn't in her life and both my sons have their father's last name because we were together for like 7 years. But I think the child should have their father's name.

Brittany - posted on 11/13/2009

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my son has my last name. i was 17 when i had him and i knew that i didnt want to be with his loser father forever so i gave him my last name. to hell with his dad. I dont think that its a birth right just because he donated sperm! haha On the other hand, if you are going to raise the child together and/or you're married, than by all means the baby should have the father's last name!

Angela - posted on 11/13/2009

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Quoting theresa:

Do you think your child should have his or her dad's last name

Some mom's do not care if a child is in their dad's last name. I believe it is their birth right



I definitely agree that your child having his/her father's last name is their birth right as well as a way for them to get insight on their father's family history.

Rawver - posted on 11/13/2009

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Post a reply!No i think not..my baby daddy is a very selfish guy..i know it's wrong but i dont want brea have no communication with him. When i was pregnant with her he put me through, aand still denyin her.

April - posted on 11/12/2009

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It all depends on your situation. For me, my babies daddy is not in the picture, and really hasn't been, even at birth for both of them. So, I just gave them my last name. If the father is present at the time of birth certificate signing, then give him the chance of the child having his last name. But it's really all up to you.

Sarah - posted on 11/12/2009

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My son has my last name. His father is not in his life and almost never has been. I pretty much knew right away that my son was going to have my name. If your baby's father isn't around, or you aren't together, I would give the baby your name. The baby is as much yours as his. Just because it is "tradition", doesn't mean that is what you have to do. Good luck!

Akilah - posted on 11/12/2009

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I gave my son my last name for a variety of reasons, but a name can always be changed later.

Pam - posted on 11/12/2009

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My son has my last name because at the time I wasn't sure that his father was going to be in the picture.. Do I regret my decision, heck no.. He is back in the picture but I am not sure for how long.

Shawna - posted on 11/12/2009

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if he is in the picture then sure, but if he left and doesnt want anything to do with you or baby, then personally i think no. But it's your decision. :)

Summer - posted on 11/12/2009

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I gave MY son my last name. His dad isnt in the picture, never has been and more than likely never will be. If his father was in the picture I MIGHT have given him his fathers name. Since his father or any of his father family is in his life i didnt want my son to wonder why he had a different last name then me and his family and feel left out or different. I'm 100% happy with him having my last name, i'm proud
for my son to have it and one day give his children our family's
last name.

Ashley - posted on 11/12/2009

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Honestly, I feel that if they were around through the pregnancy and helped you no matter what regarding that child. Then yes, the child should carry on the fathers' last name.. My youngest son, his father left me when I got pregnant and didn't come back around until masen was 1 month old.. Masen has my last name, and that will never change!! I feel that you have to earn that right, there is more to being a father than just having sex!!!

Julie - posted on 11/12/2009

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It's definitely up to you as the Mum. It seems like good advice to give him your name as surname. I think you dont lose anything, put dad on birth certificate though. If you later get married, in England you can always change it locally at school to use your married name for child, but it would be easier revert back later on if you broke up.

Jamie - posted on 11/12/2009

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i think it's your decision. my son has his dads last name, but he was with me through the pregnancy & he does see my son every weekend or so. so, he's involved. but if he wasn't, my son would have my name. it depends on the situation at hand, i suppose. and whatever you're comfortable with.

Dianna - posted on 11/12/2009

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My son has my last name!!! Which is great b/c his father just recently signed over his rights!!!! My thing on that --- is if you aren't together and you aren't married --- give the child your last name!

Jackie - posted on 11/12/2009

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"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet". The child's name is not as important as the father's name being on the birth certificate. Many cultures the child doesn't have the mother's name or the father's name. Birthright's are a bit archaic and the name of the child doesn't have anything to do with entitlement anymore.

Olga - posted on 11/11/2009

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I think yes. Regardless if he is there or not that is their father... and when a child gets older I leave it up to them if they would want to change their last name their moms last name or stepfathers last name.

Jenny - posted on 11/11/2009

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my son name is sean russell-farley mine and his so called dad last name but now i wish i didnt give him his last name bc he told me and my son to go to hell so ya and his lit girl has just mine and im happy with that

Lynette - posted on 11/11/2009

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I am a Mom to a 6 yr old girl who loves the idea that I am getting married again (thank god they both get on really well), She wasn't to phased about having a different surname until her Dad announced that he was getting married again too and that it meant she would have the same surname as her future step-mom... Now she wants her step-dad to be's surname.... We are waiting till she's a bit older so she (and we as parents) know she is making the decision for her self....
I Guess what I am saying is - it doesn't matter what surname you give them because as they grow up they may decide to change the surname too... Hope it helps.

[deleted account]

I didnt give my child his last name because he left when i was 4 months pregnant. If he left us why would i give my daughter a different last name than mine, that will just raise quesions earlier. However i think its up to each mom if they want to

Amanda - posted on 11/11/2009

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My daughter has my last name and I am thankful for that. Her dad kept changing his mind on whether he wanted to be part of her life or not and has so far not had anything to do with her. He wouldn't sign any papers acknowledging that he wanted her but he wanted her to have his last name. You can always apply to change your child's last name from your name and then you only have to worry about yourself agreeing to this. I am proud of my last name and now until I have someone that I know will be there for her that she will have my last name.

Kathryn - posted on 11/11/2009

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my children have both last names the father and i were together until right after my son was born and my daughter was just over 2 . He has not seen them in about 6 months and very rare before that . Called 2 times but my daughter is 6 and in first grade and she told her class that she doesn"t see her daddy but she is half mommy and half daddy thats why she has both last names. i might not like it because the last name is not the same as mine but now if she ever wants to change it , it would be her choice. i belive i made the right choice but its hard sometimes have different last names..school, insurance.ect...

Tasha - posted on 11/11/2009

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I strongly do agree until i gave my son his dad's last name which was a HUGE mistake on my part....long story anyway here's how i see it if your married go for it and give the child the dad's last name. If not give the child the mother's last and then when you do tie the not you can change it to his last name so that way if anything happen's between the time you have your child and you get married your safe. or you could hyphenate have his last name then your last name.

Krystal - posted on 11/11/2009

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The phrases to each his own comes to mind. My oldest son Jullian carries my maiden name. I was married when he was concieved and married when he was born but his father (my ex husband) left when I was 2 months pregnant. I went through a high risk pregnancy and bedrest completely alone. I think it was my right to give him my maiden name and his birth right to not bear the burden of his fathers name. He is now 6, my ex husband has never met him and as far as I know does not intend to. I dont regret giving him my name one bit. Also, after him and my nephew (unless they have boys) My name will cease to exist.

Stephanie - posted on 11/11/2009

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Yes. I think so, especially if he has other children with his last name. Why shouldn't yours have it.

Carolyn - posted on 11/11/2009

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well i think that's the mom and dad choice if they r married then yeah on the other hand if they are not married then it's up to the parents who name the child should have

Catrina - posted on 11/11/2009

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i think its ok but if you have other kids then why have all your kids walking around with different last names you know.....

Susan - posted on 11/11/2009

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If the father is going to insure the child its easier for you in the long run if the child has the fathers last name

Annette - posted on 11/11/2009

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To me it depends on the situation, I have 2 children that have my last name and I also have 2 children with their fathers last names.

Janeen - posted on 11/11/2009

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I gave both my children my family last name! The first child's dad said he didn't want to be a dad (even though he already had a 4 yr old son)!! He's been sporadic over the past 10yrs in her life so I never changed it. His mom also agreed with me and said it didn't matter once she got married her name would change anyway! My youngest had my family name until she was 1 yrs old. Her dad showed and proved he wanted to be a father and it was changed to reflect that. Although it may be their birth right it also is a constant reminder of if that someone does not become involved in their life.

Yolanda - posted on 11/10/2009

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i'm the mom and daddy of my son.. It was just a sperm donor...a sore loser as all the rest of these dead beat dads..they need to be men and step up to the plate and take responsibilty of their kids.. we didnt make em by ourselves..

Lauren - posted on 11/10/2009

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I gave my son his fathers last name and it was one of the worst choices I have ever made. His father is a deadbeat drug addict who is only his father when he wants to be. If i could go back i would give my son my last name, but at the same time i think it is a personal choice and you should do what you feel is right. I wanted to give my son my last name but was pressured by his father and that family. So make your own decisions and dont let anyone pressure you!

Jamie - posted on 11/10/2009

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Im sorry if this offends you but I think you are being a little harsh in your belief and in your response to other peoples posts. It is wrong to cap all situations with the answer that the child should have his/her fathers name. I didnt not give my daughter her fathers name but I did put him on her birth cert. I did this for a number of reasons but mainly I did it because of his behavior after I told him I was pregnant. He changed from the person I knew him to be. Even though I was his girlfriend and carrying his child, he did nothing to help me or even support me mentally. He didnt want me to tell my parents until I was at least 3 months along, "You could lose it before then" he said. And when I did tell my parents I asked him to be there and he wouldnt come because he didnt want to own up to the fact that we had messed up. I had one true food craving experience while pregnant, and he wouldnt even bring me a bag of doritos! Now that she is here, he is only her father when he wants to be. If/when he finally decides that he doesnt care anymore, it will be a good thing that she has my name, if she ever decides that she wants to forget him completely, at least she wont be reminded of him when she writes her own name.

Morgan - posted on 11/10/2009

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My son's father broke up with me after he found out I was pregnant. We sat down and talked about how we were going to handle things. That didn't turn out so great. I choose that my son was going to have my last name and not his. He was very upset by this and so was his family. But him and his family are never around and I am very happy that I chose to keep the baby's last name as mine.

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2009

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Quoting ileana:

my little one has my surname!!! he denies its his child, has never bothered coming to see her and is expecting a child from another woman now but still tries to contact me to see if he can be lucky enough to "have some fun"!! Sick @ss i tell you....so i'm happy my daughter has my surname and that she has no contact with her low life father!!!


 

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2009

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not really.. it depends ....some dads dont really deserve that honour of a child wearing his name

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