does anyone think being a single mom is hard?

Sade - posted on 03/25/2010 ( 357 moms have responded )

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im a single mom of soon to be two and i seem to manage okay......but from reading these blogs alot of people seem to think differently so my question to u is "if u can do it all over again would u

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Darcel - posted on 06/05/2012

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the things that i've instilled in my daughter have been priceless.. i am no longer a single parent since i got married a year and a half ago...but my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me and i'd do it over and over and over again...

Elizabeth - posted on 06/05/2012

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Being a single mom is the hardest job I've ever had. I love my daughter more than life itself, but there are times when I wish things were different. Especially like a lot of mom's have said when she is sick, or I am sick, or she's got an attitude or I want to go out and do something by myself but can't find a sitter, etc. I am truly happy with my choice to be a single mom. I know I did what was right for me and for her. But I don't get any support from her father and there are times that I get so angry with him for not being here. He is off living his life like we don't even exist and I am the one that is trying to afford everything she needs and wants. I am the one trying to work and better my life and spend time with her and have time for me. I'm not sure that if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would. Not in the way it happened. But, my daughter is my whole world and i don't know what i would do without her smile :)

Allyce - posted on 06/04/2012

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hi lm a single mum yes it hard at time but l would like to do it all over again my daughter is two and l would not change it for anything

Heathermoore881 - posted on 06/03/2012

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I wouldn't trade my kids for a second, I am a single mother of 2. The only thing I would have done different is never married the a-hole I did. My life would still include my babies. I know being a single mother is the hardest job and it's almost always one than none of us picked. Society has labeled us as bad mom's or had people say to us "you can't raise a child on you're own without being married". I have to disagree. I have seen many mom's do great, we may feel like we fail at times but if our kids are growing up happy and healthy then we are doing great.

Sarah - posted on 06/02/2012

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it can be hard but woudl do it again if i came out with the same great boys i have now

Terri - posted on 05/30/2012

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Being a single mom is hard but I would not change it for the world. As someone said earlier the hardest part is sharing my daughter with her father every other weekend. I miss her terribly at these times. I have always said however whats meant to be will be and things are just as they should be. I thank God everyday for my daughter who is three.

Brittany - posted on 05/30/2012

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I am a single mom of a 4 year old little girl. I wouldn't change anything for the world. We are best friends and our routine and schedule make being a single parent almost easier than when I was with her father. I have become a much stronger woman since my separation. Before my separation I had a lot of self-esteem issues, but now, knowing that I can do it all with little help and still be happy, has made me realise that I am a much stronger woman than I was ever given credit for in the past.

Gwynn - posted on 05/30/2012

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Hell yeah! And not only hard, lol can we all say overwhelming? But when the day is all done, and I come home to my baby sunshine--it's oh so rewarding!

StrongerMe - posted on 05/29/2012

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I divorced an alcoholic gambler, so yes, I would have no choice. But if there werent such horrible circumstances, I would reconsider putting my kids through the changing of houses. People getting divorces and having affairs should really consider the affect on the child.

Monica - posted on 05/28/2012

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I'm a single mother of two, 19 and 24. It was the hardest thing that I've ever done but if I had a chance to do it again would I? I don't think I'd change having my daughters. It has been worth it watching both of them graduate high school and now go on to college. My children were and are a blessing to me and because of them I've grown into the person I am today

Imani - posted on 05/28/2012

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yes i love my daughter and truthfully i think im stronger than a women doing it will help. they will never know my struggles. i WOULD change her father though

Deborah - posted on 05/17/2012

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I don't think being a singe mum is the bit thats hard, rasing your children is what all mothers do, and yes we all have difficulties with raising children, making choices for them, finance, home, school, work. all mothers face these. I think the only bit that single parents struggle with is not having the support or input from the other parent, someone who takes all these responsibilities on board to, Yes we all get support from family and friends but most ppl get that in times of need whether their a parent or not. I think its that we have to make all the decisions ourselves and would love to have the support from the other parent, I know i have had many sleepless nites wondering if i was making the right choices for my kids Most of us are not single mums by choice, most of us would of been in long term relationships or married or neither when we had our children but for whatever reasons it did'nt work but lets face it if it had worked was'nt that the way you thought your future would be, that you would be together and raise your children together, take equal responsibility and make joint decisions. Anyway our relationships did'nt work out so were single mums so we have to do it all ourselves and we will continue do just that. Now to the next bit 'would you do it all over again' YES i would cos i have something that has been worth all the stress, pressures and sleepless nites that no amount of money in the world can buy, 2 very happy, well behaved, polite, well balanced confident children and i DONE THAT, ME the single mum who does her best for her children

Melissa - posted on 04/25/2012

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Yes I think being a single mother is hard, only in the sense that every thing relies on me, I don't get breaks or a night out with friends ever, and I just adjusted to that. That is also why I haven't gotten a dating life going on or much less a sex life.

realistically though, I manage my time and money well because I had to learn to, my friends think I must struggle every day for cash but they got it wrong, I have money, although I get very little, I know how to live with little money for the time being so it makes no huge deal to me.

I think in comparison to my friends who are in marriages and get to share the physical work load and the financial balance, I do sometimes realize how much easier it would be if I wasn't a single mom, but it's made me a smarter person over all, and a lot less financially independent, if that can make sense!

[deleted account]

I feel like it hards some times but not all da time. I love being a mom & wouldn't trade it for nothing.

Jessica - posted on 12/13/2011

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I wouldve waited , If i knew then wat i knew now type of thing but i dont regret my life or children at this point.. their the reason why i grind every moment of my life

Kate - posted on 12/13/2011

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I'm a single mum of 5 children...and even though it was hard..I'd do it again...but definitely would do a lot of things different as well...

Luvmia - posted on 12/11/2011

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If I could do it all over again, I would have had my kid after 25 years old. It is hard being a single mother if you DO NOT have any support. I have met single mothers whom have strong, good families and they believe strongly in the philosophy that it takes a village to raise a child.

Tenille - posted on 12/09/2011

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I am a single mom of a five year old son. The only thing that is hard for me is not having time for myself. I live on the East coast and his father lives on the West coast. His dad pays child support and gets our son every summer so I do get my breaks, but sometimes it can get tiredsome. I would do it all over again because there is no love like the unconditional love of a child. He is the reason I breathe.

Julie - posted on 12/07/2011

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Would I chose for my husband to die ...? NO
Would I chose for my 2nd husband to dessert us...? NO
Does every child deserve to have a mom and a Dad? YES

Dane' - posted on 12/06/2011

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im not a single mom anymore but when i was it was a stuggle... having someone to lea on when ur depressed and then u dont have that can take a tole on you. and on top of that having to support your child all on ur own. its hard but the cape i have on is im independent and if im n ot gonna survive im gonna survive for my babies

Sarah - posted on 12/03/2011

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hi im not going to lie its hard being a single parent but i do have support yeah i would do it all over again i love my son more than my life and everything is well worth it

Sarah - posted on 12/03/2011

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hi im not going to lie its hard being a single parent but i do have support yeah i would do it all over again i love my son more than my life and everything is well worth it

A'Kia - posted on 03/15/2011

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Sade - I know that it is a challenge for someone to raise a child alone, but there are women in marriages doing the same thing. We as women are the stronger creature and have the will to survive and make it happen.

Overall I do not think that it is hard being a single mom. It comes with its ups and downs, but in the bigger scheme of things I feel like if I was married I would still be doing some of the things that I am doing alone.

It is very hard on the emotions, because a good # of my single mommy friends and I believe that we pour our all into our children but then who pours their all into us. What do we have left for us when it is all said and done.

Well for me it is simple...the doctors said I would never conceive. My piece of heaven on Earth is in my daughter, and I would do it all over again without a doubt.

[deleted account]

It's hard some of the times, but it is even if ur not single too.
I split up with my sons dad 5 months ago, and it's not really been any different. He was involved in our sons life; we both did everything. And he still is there for Tyler, but just doesn't see him everyday like he used to.
I don't find it any harder because when we were together we didn't live in the same house anyway. So 1.) I generally do everything I did before in the same amount, and 2.) my son didn't have to see his dad move out, and ask questions - he's 3 years old, so i would've got heaps of questions!..
But yeah in general it's not actually any harder than it already was.

Bonnie - posted on 03/15/2011

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I have absolutely no help with my son. In an average week the most adult interaction I have is if I've got any appointments to attend. So yes, it is extremely hard. But that's because of my circumstances.
Would I do it all again? In a heartbeat. But I would change some things, especially moving in with the "friend" who broke lease after 2months & left my son & I homeless for 6months, all while my son was only 1.5yrs. Had that gone differently, or just not happened, I honestly think things would be much better than they are now. But my son is the reason I'm alive now (I was hanging around some VERY unsavoury people before I fell pregnant) so I would never take a moment back! They are too precious & my son is worth every difficulty I have faced, & all those I have yet to see.

Josie - posted on 10/07/2010

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im a single mum i find it hard some days are a suggle but my daughter keeps me going i love her so much its worth being a single mum i can do this.

Tiffany - posted on 05/03/2010

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I haven't given birth to my daughter yet(I am almost 8 months) but I have been dealing with this pregnancy alone & I already know that I'm going to be raisng her on my own also. It has been hard going through this pregnancy without her father(we only talk when its convient for him) & I feel that its going to be hard raising her on my own but I know that with God beside me I can handle it.

Sarah - posted on 05/03/2010

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I definetly would not choose to be a single mother. It was not my intention to raise my 3 children on my own. It can be lonely (even with support from family and friends) and it's hard not having someone to back you up with discipline and so much more! I am tired all the time, and forget what it is that I really want for myself. For now, I am focusing on loving and raising my kids.
My children are 6, 4 and 2, very trying and fun and stressful and of course, rewarding all in one!
They do see there Dad, and go to his house once a week and every other weekend. I am thankful that they have a dad who loves them and they can know the love of a father!

Michelle - posted on 04/26/2010

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No.... My son is 2 1/2 months old and dealing with his father during my pregnancy was a nightmare but my son is gorgeous and I love being a mom more than I have ever loved anyone.... Given, he is my only son but I still feel that some women are meant to be mothers.... Some women are not!!

KAREN - posted on 04/26/2010

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IF I WAS FINACALLY STABLE,AND DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT PROVIDING FOR MY FIRST ONE,I WOULD DO IT IN A HEARTBEAT.I AM NOT IN THAT SITUATION THOUGH AND I GOT MY TUBES TIED SO IT DIDNT HAPPEN AGAIN.KIDS ARE A BLESSING FROM GOD AND IFYOU CAN PROVIDE A FINACALLY STABLE HOME,AND HAVE ENOUGH LOVE FOR TWO,YOU SHOULD WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU AND GOD.

Katherine - posted on 04/18/2010

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The only thing I would change if I could, is the man I chose to have my son with. Single motherhood definitely has it ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I'm having the time of my life! It's quiet, peaceful and drama free in my household. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Alma - posted on 04/18/2010

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Yes it is very hard but it is so worth it and I would not change a thing I love my son more than anything in this world :)

Alma - posted on 04/18/2010

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Hell yeah it is hard it is double the work without any breaks but it is so worth it!! :)

Julie - posted on 04/17/2010

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Ever rides a tandum bike alone... from the back seat?!

We weren't meant to be alone in the parenting game (wish they taught THAT in sex ed.)

Yes, find other mothers or seomone who can mentor you through this hard time in your life - you need the support. Churches are often very good for this.

Jennifer - posted on 04/17/2010

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Being a single mom is a very hard job, but I would not trade a minute of it for anything. I love my kids and cherish the time we spend together

Renee - posted on 04/16/2010

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Being a single mother is no day at the beach. I have been a single mother more often than a married one, and to be completely honest I do not see much difference between single parenting and parenting in general. I do, however, believe that parenting is hard, whether you are doing it alone or with a partner. As a parent, we have many responsibilities towards our children and when you're working full time and trying to run a household efficiently things can get really hard. However, when I was married my husband did not do all that much to help. No matter how far women's equality has come - there are still gender stereotypes. Many men continue to have the mentality that a man's work is sun to sun - I wish I had a nickel for how many times I would here "I work all day...." when I needed help with one of the kids or just getting everything done that needs to be done. When I was married, I often felt that my husband just added to the stress and chaos in my life. I now try to delegate as much as possible and have learned to ask for help when I need it. Having a strong support system and a sense of humor are two variables that are necessary for successful single parenting!

Maria - posted on 04/12/2010

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Absolutely would do it over again. I love my 6 year old and cannot imagine my life without him in it. Being a single mom is hard as hell but the rewards outway it all with extra to boot.

Marsha - posted on 04/12/2010

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I have an 8 and 10 yr old at home. I became single when my youngest was a few months old. It is very difficult at times and I wish that I had someone to share in carpooling, sick days with kids, running errands, sharing the milestones in their life and financial support. With all of that said, mykids keep me going and motivate me to stay as positive as possible!!!! Would I do it all over, yes but with a different man.

Diana - posted on 04/11/2010

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Yes, being a single mom is difficult, but not impossible! I am a single mom of a 2yr old boy and a 5yr old girl. Did I plan to be a single mom -- no. Things just worked out that way. I kicked their "father" out almost 18 months ago. There are days that I just want scream, but I would never change and go back. All you can do is give it your all. I work 50+ hours a week and receive NO child support, and have hardly any help -- but we make it through every day with the kids smiling and happy. Every choice you make will be decided by whats best for your children. I don't know the reasoning behind your single parenting, but whatever the case -- you can do it! I'm sure if the father is a part of the child's life it might be easier, but only you can make that decision. In my case, he has no visitation. My children and I are protected from him through a protection order. Thankfully, my son was too young to have any memory of the things that happened, but my daughter may have her memories for the rest of her life. In the end, what matters most is that the children are safe, happy, well taken care of, and most of all -- loved. Have faith in yourself, your abilities, and your strength. As the mother, you know whats best for them. My thoughts are with you.

Aisha - posted on 04/11/2010

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I guess it depends on everyone's situation. For me, I'd do it again! I love the little boy! :-) It's hard work, I'm often tired, cranky, impatient, but...I wouldn't have it any other way!

Shauneen - posted on 04/10/2010

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im a single mum got a daughter who is 2 on the 11th may i would do it again if i had the chance but i dont think its hard being a single mum it

Melanie - posted on 04/10/2010

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i'm a single mum i have a 2 year old daughter and a 6 month son. i've only left my ex in december and i'm finding it really hard. but i'm living with my mum so its hard to get the kids into a routine as my mum doesnt follow my rules. i'm looking for a house hopefully everything will be good once we're on our own. i'm really looking forward to getting my own place and finally doing something with my life and getting my girl in to dancing.

Nokuthula - posted on 04/10/2010

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I'm a single mom of 1. raising my boy has been the hardest thing yet for me, possibly because i had very little support. I luv my son to bits, i couldnt live without him.

but i fear the thought of having another child.

Sam - posted on 04/10/2010

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I have nothing to compare to, as I've been single since I was 12 weeks pregnant. I think it is hard to be a mum, single or not. Some fathers are not supportive as friends of mine have attested. I have started to suffer with anxiety and often find it a struggle to cope with this. But my mum is really supportive and so are my friends.



But despite all the difficulties I would definitely do it again. My son is everything to me, he is my life. I can't imagine life without him.

Michaela - posted on 04/09/2010

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As hard as it is to be a single mom of 3... a 7 yr old with adhd and twin 2 yr old boys... my house is always chaotic and I am always stressed... but I wouldn't change a moment of this life for anything in the world, I do not regret a thing! Including their Dad.. no matter how sorry he is... without him, I wouldn't have the 3 beautiful children that God blessed me with.

Marie - posted on 04/09/2010

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Thanks Danielle (march 26) for yr comments. Your honesty really touched me. All your replies have. I am also a single mum now for over 12mths. I have a 5yr old and 2yr old girls. I get soooo drained with the caring, cooking, cleaning, shopping and entertaining of them most days....It would be nice to have some help and little time to myself sometimes!! But would I change things??? I would definetely choose a different man to have children with but would never choose not to have my little angels. They are the loves of my life always... :)

Philippa - posted on 04/09/2010

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Well I have been a single mum for over three years to two wonderful little boys and yes times can be tough and REALLY lonely but I have a great support network that keeps me afloat..If i would do it all over a again would be a no as I fell pregnant over a year ago and that guy decided he didnt want the child and diappeared so I had to make the hardest choice. I choose to have an abortion as I couldnt cope with another child not knowing their father, broke my heart in a hundred places..:(

Stacy - posted on 04/09/2010

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YES! no doubt i my mind. it is hard to parent on my own because everything falls to me. Budget, doctor visits, time outs, sick kids, tired kids, tired or sick mum, studying mum, cleaning, cooking and still finding time for fun. But i wouldn't change it for the world because every time i hear mama or see a smile it's worth it.

Jacquie - posted on 04/09/2010

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I am a single mom of a nine your old. I had gone though the whole pregnancy and her first 9 months alone, and the only thing I did wrong was going back with her father for 5 years. 4 years later we are doing so much better.

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