does anyone think being a single mom is hard?

Sade - posted on 03/25/2010 ( 357 moms have responded )

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im a single mom of soon to be two and i seem to manage okay......but from reading these blogs alot of people seem to think differently so my question to u is "if u can do it all over again would u

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Being a single parent is the single most difficult thing I have ever done. That haing been said, YES I would do it again! My son was not planned but everything happens for a reason. You need to follow your heart! Only you know what is best for your situation.

Jean - posted on 04/09/2010

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completely agree.......... I am so drained out by 8:30pm. After being up at 4:30am just to spend some "mom time" for myself while my child is still sleeping.

Jean - posted on 04/09/2010

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no I couldn't do it over agian, because I am usually financially strapped before the end of the year, even though I get child support it is just not enough, since her father is a single father and has full custody of his son he comes first(by law) and his daughter gets some money but not enough. I am glad that she gets some money even though it's not enough at least she gets something.

Shakeera - posted on 04/09/2010

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I would do it all over again! My son, who is 6, is the light of life and a blessing from God! Dnt know what I would do without him!

Janelle - posted on 04/08/2010

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Yes. I left my Ex-Husband, and have no regrets. Single parenthood is rough, but any parenting is hard. I"m actually under less stress now than when I was married. Somethings are more difficult, like never having a break, being the sole disiplinarian(sp), ecomonics, but it's still worth it to me.

Simone - posted on 04/08/2010

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well i think its hard... but if i had to i would do it all over again.. but when u have a child with mentall illness ad you dont get a break its get very stresful.. but i love my baby and i would do anything for her..

Jennifer - posted on 04/08/2010

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I am a single mom of 2 beautiful girls, 7 and 8. Even when I was married to their father, I was still single because he was never around. So it has been just the the girls and I for over 2 1/2 years now and we are great. Like others, it is hard at times but I would not change any of it.

Lesley Eleanor - posted on 04/08/2010

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Im 20 and a single mum to an amasing little boy. Iv found it hard, got pregnant when i was 17 and in my first year of college. Had my son in my second year, after having him i went back 2 finish college 6 weeks later. Did another course after and now nearly finished my 1st year of uni. Its been quite a struggle but would do it all over again, without a dout. But im gonna wait intill i finish uni.

Love My Son sooooo Much. Hes my pride and joy :)

Yolandie - posted on 04/08/2010

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Im a single mom of an 11 year old and a 5 year old. The only difficult thing for me is when my kids want something and I have to say no cause it doesnt fit in mom's budget!

Donna - posted on 04/08/2010

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not matter how hard it gets and how much i wish i could give up, i would do this all again.

I have 2 children one almost 7 and has aspergers and a 2yr old that i suspect has aspergers as well, but they are my joy my reality and my heart and thats how i like it!

Having a support network around you that allows you to do everything you need to also helps

both my boys fathers are the ones missing out on watching them grow and learn, and honestly i wouldn't want them around now if you paid me! my boys are my life and though they are high maintance i love them and are proud of them and everything they do (except throw poo around (lol))!!!

Tanya - posted on 04/07/2010

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Being a mom is the hardest, most rewarding job on the planet. Whether you're a single mom or not, it will be a difficult job. Would it be nice to have the help of a mate? I'm sure it would be, but I have been given the strength and wisdom to take care of my daughter on my own and provide what she needs. I don't think I would do things differently because at the end of the day, being a single mom has made me the woman I am today and has given me the strength to do it.

Jennifer - posted on 04/07/2010

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I am going to be a single mom of soon to be one. I am managing. Would I do it again?

my answer is yes in a heartbeat! My little boy of 5 years is a true blessing to me, I love him dearly, there is nothing I wouldn't do for him! My son is high maintence he has ADD w/ impulsivity. I don't regret a single day for having him.... God has truly blessed my life with him.. Yes it is very hard, my husband had an affair, walked out on us & abandoned us.... I have health problems that keep me from working. I would wonder if I could make it as a single mom, if I didn't have the support of my family, my in-laws, friends, and church family.....

Jessica - posted on 04/07/2010

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i am a single mom of two and i have very little outside help and no help from their fathers and i think it is very hard. i want more children but not alone. just dont think i could do it alone withn 3 when i have trouble with my two. i love them and wouldnt trade them for the world but no more til im married.

Marilyn - posted on 04/07/2010

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Hey Sade.. I'm a single mom to. My son was 5 years old, and my daughter wasn't born at the time, I was 7 months pregnant when the donor decided to play the field. (they are now 11 and 6) It has been and still is a struggle, and sometimes I am hard on myself for the choices I've made (I to, never grew up wanting this for my family) but I would never do it differently.. My children are my top priority and I have to care for myself to be able to give them all that I want for them.. One thing, which is not easy, is taking accountability for ones self.. If you want a good life for the kids, 'you' will make that happen.. No one else can do that for you.. Plan and talk to a counsellor or join a single parents group. A 'healthy' support system will be one of a single mom's strongest allies - It is not easy, not in the least - but you can do it.. Many of us have.. Stay strong, stay focused, and stay real - there are a lot of things that will play on your sanity..



Unlike a two parent household, you don't get the extra paycheque, or the extra help to do the dishes, take out the garbage, rake the lawn, watch the kids because you have a headache, and so on.. you have to be both.. Take care and wishes for all the best to you..



Is single parenting the hardest job in the world??..Being an HR officer and recruiting for numerous jobs in career paths... Most Definitely...!!! We ARE the mother and father, and sometimes, career person all in one.. But never forget we are only human to..

Sharlene - posted on 04/06/2010

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I am a single mom of a 6 yr old son and an 8 yr old daughter. I have been a single mom for 5 yrs and I would not change anything. Even though both of my children have medical conditions my daughter has seizures and is on medication 3 times a day to attempt to control them and my son has severe excema, asthma, and another condition that the neurologist has not yet figured out. We are getting ready for our second 3 day stay at the hospital for another video EEG, and a spinal tap. I would not change anything because the 47 yr old baby in the family is now having to raise himself. I have enough to worry about with my two babies between Dr. Appts, competitive dance, and competitive Karate I don't have time to clean up after and take care of a 47 yr old man that wastes money and lays on the couch as if he is dieing of cancer and it is just the common cold. I would do it all over again in a heart beat.

Marielos - posted on 04/06/2010

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Being a single mom is hard, emotionally its hard. I have a little one, he'll be two in july. I've been a single parent since i knew i was pregnant. I guess I wouldnt know the difference, but i have all the support i can get, from my great friends, and most of my family. The discrimination for being a single parent is there, and sometimes its nerve racking, but i see my child and find the strength to move on, and be someone for his sake.

Amy - posted on 04/06/2010

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I am a single mom of two wonderful boys - age 5 and 2. When their father left 1 1/2 ago I was devestated. But my sons are the best thing that could ever happen to me and are truly a blessing. I work full time as a teacher and they take all of my time and attention...most days I am exhausted. I unfortunately do not have any family living nearby which makes it harder but I have found alot of support from other moms I have met in church and at work. The best advice I can give to any new single mom is to connect with other single parents and build a support group - do not isolate yourself or feel you have to do it all on your own. Learn to laugh when all you want to do is cry. I just keep reminding myself when my 2 year old is throwing a tantrum that they won't be this young forever :)

Renee - posted on 04/06/2010

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I hope that everyone understands that by sayng no, I would not do it all over again, it does not mean that I don't love my son. I love him dearly, but I would not xhoose the single mom route again. It's been hard on both of us, and I wonder how this will affect him as he grows into a man. I worry, and stress and struggle and I know that it causes me to be short tempered and mean. I feel that I could be a better mom if I were not a single mom and I wish I could be a better single mom.

Melissa - posted on 04/06/2010

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I didn't have a choice so yes, I would leave that sperm donor. He threatened my life and my daughter's, but he still has to have visitation. Go figure! I think it's the hardest job in the world being a mom especially a single one. Sometimes I hate it because I have to see her father so often, but I know I made the right choice for her.

Betsy - posted on 04/06/2010

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It is very hard, but never give up and never give in. Would I choose the same situation no but definitely wouldn't trade the joys I have had with my sons. I would choose my sons all over again.

Karen - posted on 04/06/2010

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Yes it's hard! Yes I would do again! I actually kinda prefer doing it alone, because I don't have to worry about agreeing with anyone on how to 'punish' my child when she becomes of age, I don't have to worry about the father becoming jealous of me giving her more attention - because naturally as a mom we do that. The baby is a baby and incapable of nurturing themselves. So, yes it's hard but totally worth it. And for me, it's given me a newfound inspiration and motivation for going back to school. I'm 21 years old with a beautiful 6 mth old daughter, and now I'm going to go back to school in the fall to make a better life for the both of us!

Renee - posted on 04/06/2010

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absolutely! i love my son sooooo much that everything i give up for him means nothing and if it wasnt for him i probably wouldnt have madesome of these great decisions in my life!

Jamel - posted on 04/06/2010

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I am a single mom of 2, work 2 full time jobs, and am a full time student. I always have food on the table, my kids go to private school, and we go out once a week for family night. No, it isn't easy, but if you put your mind to it you can make it happen.

[deleted account]

Hi Sade! I am also a single mom. In fact, I adopted my son when he was 3 months old. He is now seven, will be 8 in August. It was the best choice I ever made. It has been hard sometimes...that's the nature of parenting, but I won't change a thing!!

April - posted on 04/06/2010

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i'm a single mom of 3 boys my oldest is 10 my middle boy is 7 and my youngest is 5 i'm so happy to be a single mom don't have to fight with anyone but my kids, especially fights about money. My older 2 boys father helps sometimes and thinks all i care about is the support. My youngest boys dad i hope to never see again. As for doing it all over again the only thing i would change r the guys i had them with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jodi - posted on 04/05/2010

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First, to answer your question "is being a single mom hard?"...yes. It absolutely is! I'm a single mom of 3 kids and can tell you that it is hard..every day! But here is the real question (and I read what the other's wrote and concur)...is it worth the struggle being a single mom...and yes...it absolutely is! I don't know what the circumstances were that made you a single mom but I know what mine were both times and I can say without a doubt that it was better for my children to live in an environment of 2 homes than a home in turmoil. I never second guess my decisions because I make them with care with the best information that I have at that time. Hindsight is always 20/20...but remember that you left him for a reason and there isn't any reason to go back to a place that you (or your child) couldn't thrive in. Yes...life is hard. Yes...I have to solely support 3 children...would I go back for ANY reason (even financial). NO.....stay strong my friend...you can do it! You will be so much happier for it!

Jessica - posted on 04/05/2010

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ok I love being a mom but having my first born at 18 was not the best choice. I wouldnt take it back but if I had a do over I think I would have been more serious about who I was with and how preventive we were. For me being a single mom of 2 has been hard but everyone learns to adapt I think. I dont have much family here to help so I would be happier and less stressed if I had more support but I am at least trying.

Jennifer - posted on 04/05/2010

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IT IS VERY HARD. I am raising my 13 month old on my own. Monetary help is greatly needed but I don't qualify 'cause I make to much .... seriously .... do ppl have to be eating dirt for dinner to be able to get assistance.

Christy - posted on 04/05/2010

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I wouldn't change a thing I love my son! He's the love of my life! I don't care how tough things get b/c I know I'll always have him.

Lisa - posted on 04/05/2010

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no two situations are the same. it takes a lot of juggling, time management, organization, patience, committment, selflessness, love, and support. i too agree that being a single parent is not as challenging as i had envisioned. the challenge that i don't have it dealing with the father. i can see where that would throw a wrench into single parenting. the journey that i am having with my son as a single mother gets better and better every day. it is hard to believe each day tops the last. parenting is what we make it. i would definitely do it all over again which is why i am thinking of having my second still as a single mother.

Helen - posted on 04/05/2010

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It is hard some times but the children are there to put a smile on your face. It hard cos of all the worry about money and what if i find someone new what will the kids be like. I have a daughter of 10yrs and a son of8yrs. We talk alot so any problems we talk them though and i think it has been great that way. Dont think your children wont understand cos they do, talk to them. Ask them if there is any thing they like to talk about, but do not Talk bad of your ex. It not good and not clever, you will end up being the bad person. x

Emma - posted on 04/05/2010

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i've never known any different so, of course i would do it all again and not change a thing! i've had a hard time with my son and hes only 12 weeks, but hes worth every second!

Manda - posted on 04/05/2010

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Of course I would!! I wouldnt change a thing....i Love being a single mom....i dont have to share her with anyone elses inlaws etc.

Keisha - posted on 04/05/2010

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I love my daughter so much so I can not say I would not do it again. Single parenting likely would be easier for me If I was not a full time student which is very difficult to study and watch a child and no one wants to volunteer to help out when I need it most. It will get easier in time, I hope :)

Michelle - posted on 04/05/2010

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Everyone would do it all over again..that is if the daddy is a part of their lives.. I think it's more difficult when they are not because that's when you get all the questions that you really can't answer and really break your heart to tell them the truth. If they are an active parent then that's a different story because you know that if you need something the other parent will be there.. I have a 9 year old and it was so hard when her dad wasn't in her life. Now that he is there it's so much easier because even if we don't live together I know that if I need something I can call him.

Tameka - posted on 04/05/2010

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I am starting a nonprofit for single parents you can go to www.gaspministries.org for more information and please leave your contact information in the contact form so that we can update you on all information we have going on!

Charlene - posted on 04/05/2010

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I agree with most of the replies. Being a single parent was not how God intended children to be raise, because both parents are suppose to affect different aspects of the childs life. But he is also the one that gives life so we ladies wouldn't have gotten pregnant if he did not want us to. I love and enjoy my so and his father not being around is better in my case. I have the support of friends and he doen not miss havein a father. He has an uncle who has taken up that role and God fathers doing the same., ad there are so many young men in my church that have adopted him as a little brother, so God made sure he put good male figures in his life. I wouldn't do it again by choice but if it happens I'll count my blessings

Gina - posted on 04/05/2010

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Yes!!!! I LOVE being a single mom, hands down LOVE it and wouldn't change for ANYTHING!!! I am so blessed and so lucky to be able to spend time loving and caring for my son. I look at the challenges as opportunities to be more creative in my approach because it isn't about me any more it's about him and I will be DAMNED if anything will stop me from giving him the very best that I can!!!

Saira - posted on 04/05/2010

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Being a Mom is such an amazingly gratifying job, no matter how hard it may be. I am the single mother of an adopted three year old, and have raised her from when she was a few hours only. As much as I would love for her to have a father as well, raising her on my own so far has only been a positive experience. Not saying waking up nights when she was colicy and needing a clear mind to earn a living during the day was easy, but I would not exchange this for anything else in the world!

Nicolasena - posted on 04/05/2010

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It is hard! Especially when you were married before.... I think that if I had always been a singlr mom then maybe I would have a different outlook. Because I can compare how it was before I guess two heads can be better than one.

Tamra - posted on 04/05/2010

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I am a single mom to 4 ranging from 8 yrs to 4 months, plus I work a full time job on top of it all. Would I do it over again? Yeah I probably would but I would do it different. It is tough dealing with the day to day struggles by myself but I have amazing family support and help, my friends are great too. I don't depend on them too much because my mom is my daycare so I can work to take care of my kids. Plus I have met an amazing man that I wish I would have met a long time ago, but you can't change the past, so these kids are my past, preasent and future and their well being is my reponsibility so I don't dwell on being a single mom. :)

Sonia - posted on 04/05/2010

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I am a single mum too and if I could do it all over again I think I would love to but am so scared. I love my little girl dearly. her dad is not around as he doesn't want to be so that is the hard part but I have a loving family so I suppose I am lucky. How do you find it ?

Kerry - posted on 04/05/2010

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Hi Sade



I wouldn't change a thing about my life with my daughter, my daughter gets everything she could ever want and need and i'm currently, a partner who has took on my daughter as his own she even calls him daddy because she hasn't and never will meet the doner and me and my partner are expecting our 1st son in july, I wouldn't even do things any differently due to the fact that me and my daughter are happy and im a stronger person for having done it the way i did



kerri

Katie - posted on 04/04/2010

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I am a single Mum to one, If I could do it over again, I would; not to change nothing about my child, just better prepare myself for being a parent. I think it really depends on every individual persons circumstances as to how challenging they find single parenthood.

Danyelle - posted on 04/04/2010

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I thank God for my support system. Is being a single mom hard. Its a challenge, but this job has purpose.. I wouldn't change anything. I think about the lessons I am teaching my child. I think had in the relationship, I would teach my lil one a really distorted view of relationships...

Angelina - posted on 04/04/2010

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There is just not enough time in a day to get it all done. Balance is the hard thing. Work, cook dinner, help with homework, bath time, play time, clean up time, then bedtime. Needless to say, ok if house is a mess for a few days til my day off. Sometimes we can't get the things we want because I make enough to pay the bills and can't afford it. This is where 2 incomes would be nice, I so need a vacation. I love both my kids so much & always wonder to myself what I can do different or worry about mistakes I have made with my parenting. I would love to have a partner who is in charge of the discipling cuz it is hard to stay consistant. Wouldn't have it any other way, they are great.

Zawanda - posted on 04/04/2010

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I love my child but if I knew then what I know now about my son's dad I would have left him back in Oct 1996. So, basically no, I wouldn't.

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