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Does my ex bf have the right to take my son (will be born in Aug) for 6 mo of the year when he lives in another state?

NewMommy710 - posted on 06/26/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My ex and I have an awful relationship. I'm 21 and 8 months pregnant. Hes 29. When I first found out, he freaked out and told me to have an abortion if I wanted us to stay together. I decided against it. We tried to work things out but then I found out he was cheating and got back with his ex gf...I was then 3 months along. After that he denied paternity and we didn't speak for about 2 months. Then we tried to be friends to work things out in the interest of the baby as friends. Things were going great and it seemed as though we were on the road to getting back together. While he can be a great guy and is well liked and respected, he is extremely emotionally unstable and emotionally and verbally abusive. He gets angry very quickly and will explode into a rage. I was always walking on eggshells around him. He just had another breakdown which resulted in a huge fight between us where he accused me of ridiculous things and threatened me with court and long legal battles.
Essentially he said he wants the child 6 months out of the year. While I want him to have visitation and a relationship with his son, 6 months?! He has no experience with children or infants, has not made an effort to be involved in the pregnancy, is dating a complete psychopath who has harassed me via phone and internet multiple times, lives in another state 6 hours away, works full time and doesn't even live on his own or have an extra room for the baby. Does he have the ability to get custody for that long??? I can't imagine not seeing my baby for 6 months at a time.

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4 Comments

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J727 - posted on 06/28/2012

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I would really consider whether you want him on the birth certificate at all. You will not be able to file for support BUT you will have full rights to the baby. He sounds like he does not want to be a father and will most likely not be motivated to file for paternity and have to start paying child support. He can threaten you all he wants but in the end is he really motivated to care for a newborn baby? Doubtful.

Kristin - posted on 06/27/2012

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The court will NOT give shared custody with that many miles between you. You just have to let the judge know about the threats and violence and that you have a real fear that he won't be able to handle a newborn. The judge will give him supervised visitation at first then change to standard out-of-state visitation and maybe a couple weeks to a month in the summer. You would have to be an abusive, crackhead for him to get custody. He just wants shared custody so he doesn't have to pay child support, just like every other dead-beat dad out there. When it gets closer to the due date, he'll start being super-sweet, then angry... back and forth. I wouldn't even have him there for the birth. Let him sit in the waiting room with everyone else. You don't need the stress. If you don't put his name on the birth certificate, then he will have to fight you to prove paternity, and it will buy you some time until you go to court. Then once paternity is established, go after the child support. Do not deviate from the court order unless you fear for your child. The visitation/custody agreement can be reviewed when the baby almost school-age. Good luck to you both!

Brittany - posted on 06/26/2012

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Also start keep record of your conversations or visits with him, and his GF it will help prove your case in court.

Brittany - posted on 06/26/2012

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No. Thats ridiculous.

He will never be awarded this - especially with a newborn. Start court proceedings as SOON as baby is born, and BREASTFEED. This will ensure no overnight visits ect for at least the first year or however long you want to breastfeed.

Usually 50% custody is week by week, I believe any judge would find 6 months as completely unreasonable.

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