Ex preventing Kids from getting to know Boyfriend.

Monica - posted on 08/06/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Ex & I have been separated for 2 years now. He has a Girlfriend now which I'm happy about. My girls like her.
The problem is that whenever it is my time with the kids, he wants to make sure my Boyfriend is not around. He says I am traumatizing them & ruining our relationship. I have been with my boyfriend go a long time now & totally agree that one should not introduce kids to others till you know it's serious. We are but still moving slowly. I have advised my Ex of my holidays & that they should be with me since he doesn't take holidays ever. I don't want them sitting around at his house alone while he goes to work. He, though, has not responded because he wants to know through the kids if the BF is coming. If not then he will agree but if he finds out, then he says no.
He was such an emotional abuser towards me while we were married & he still uses manipulation to get his way.
He has even told me to find another guy. He blames him for our marriage breakup but that is totally false. He will never look at our marriage as one with many problems & destined to fail cause he never worked at it.
I have been told, be patient & don't push but what kills me is that my kids have always done things with me. Now that they are with their Dad they don't do anything with him still. I go camping & small little trips & I want my girls to come with me but I am unable to do that because someone may be there too.
Any advise?

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2 Comments

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[deleted account]

He has already set the stage and the precident. He has introduced his new gf to your children so you're allowed to introduce them to your new bf.

Stand up to your ex and let him know that you are no longer going to allow him to dictate your life to you. You need to stand up for yourself and also set a good example to your daughters that men do not need to dictate their lives to them.

Kristin - posted on 08/07/2012

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Your ex has absolutely no say in who you date or who are around your kids so long as that person treats them good and are not in danger. Stand up to your ex and tell him that they are your kids as well and if he doesnt like them areound your bf than he can take you to court (which he wont and if he does he wont win). If you dont stand up to him now he will always want you to be single even though he has moved on. Its a control factor and dont let him get away with it

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