"Father's" Rights?

Kristi - posted 4 days ago

Jay....did he sign a paternity affadavit? Is his name of the birth certificate? It really depends on the state and the judge (judges have ALOT of discretion when it comes to family law cases....they can decide they don't like the color of your hair and decide against you).....but despite popular belief, family courts heavily favor fathers if they file for custody. Believe it or not, abusive men have an even greater advantage in court.

Here's what I've seen happen: even if no DNA test was ever done and the father's name isn't on the birth certificate, but the father "visited" the child and generally acknowledged the child as his, then many courts will give him "credit" for assuming the role of the father. If you were to pick up the child and move to another state, then the father would be able to file for his "rights" (which could include full custody) in the state where he lives, but you moved away from....if he filed any court action within a short period of time (typically 6-12 months), then the court will likely claim jurisdiction. This would put you at a major disadvantage because 1.) You would have to return to that state to go to court (which could get very expensive) 2.) The father could claim that you are trying to push him out of his child's life, and that is further proven by the fact that you picked up and left with the child....in extreme cases, the judge could try to charge you with kidnapping or order you back into the state....or give custody to the father, saying that you are a "flight risk."

Your best bet is to consult a competent attorney (which is hard to find, and they are expensive). At the very least, educate yourself on your state laws and prepare for a worst case scenario.

I don't know what state you live in, but from my experience advocating for moms in similar situations, there are several states that are very well known for being very pro father and anti-mother.....off the top of my head, the worst are Conneticuit, Maryland, Florida, Indiana, Ohio, Illinois (mostly Cook County), Kansas, Texas, North Dakota, and California (although California is starting to figure out what's happening and is beginning to fix the problems).

Jay - posted on 01/25/2013

what if theres no paternity test that was ever done and he abuses me mentalty and fiscal disrepects my mom ..if i move away with my child no forward address at this point of no rights to the baby,what could happen?.. he has said he will take me to court for my child,. what if he couldnt find us even for a paterity test? are court, will he go to court and this move be held agaist me and i lose my child to someone that could harm her through hate for me..i have some text doc varb abuse, 1 hospital recorded, police came out once noting filed...ive tryed allow him to vist at his fam and mine. but he wants the baby alone with him. he has a anger problem a unstable person...I could have prevented and didnt would be a nightmare with all the red flags.

Carolanne - posted on 03/19/2010

paula since my son was about 6 hes kept askin why my daughter and i had the same surname and he had a different one i told him he had his dads surname and he kept asking if he could change his hes just about to turn 9 and last month i changed his to my surname i just phoned the doctors school and anyone else who needed to know and after 2 years of being known by his new surname hes can be legally called that and get his passport changed as well i think it cost 38 pounds thats wot happens here but i dont know if u are in the states it will be different if u are i would go to townhall and go into the birth registration office and ask them wot the procedure is if thats wot u want to do my son is much more settled now that he doesnt feel indifferent to me and my daughter now hope this helps

Paula - posted on 03/18/2010

how old can a child change its own name?

Carolanne - posted on 03/18/2010

i did the same wi my son neva stopped his father seeing him even though he always used to let my son down in the end and now my son is older has decided for himself that he doesnt want to see his father anymore and has changed his name to my surname children will eventually see who is good to them they are not daft hope this helps

Ntahli Mamathunya - posted on 03/18/2010

every child has a right to know who has fathered thm regardless of wht transpired btwn you and the father, dont u think denying him the right toknow the father will backfire whn the child is old and u explain to him that the father was irresponsible so had to cut him loose, please give ur child the opportunity to decide for himself whn he is old whether he needs his father or not. i also hv a child who is just three months and yeah his father hs neva seen him, but belief you me, i wont deny him the right to see his son when he so desires, my child has to know who his father is, but if he never comes then when he is old enough to understand ill explain to him that i never barred his father form seeing him that ws his choice. however if you think that it is in the BEST INTEREST OF YOUR CHILD that the father be not in the picture then i support you 100%.

Jeannie - posted on 03/17/2010

If he is not on the birth certificate, then until he proves paternity he has no parental rights. If he establishes paternity and A support order is filed then YOU still do not have to let him c the child......it's up to the court system if he fights it, then u in turn can say 'no visitation", but you have to prove to the court why he's unfit... and the same for requesting supervised visits....they will always need proof, not hear say..

Autumn - posted on 03/17/2010

In tx it's a one hour notice & they watch the person urinate. If they fail the drug test they aren't allowed unsupervised visitation. If they are on the bc it's not required for them to have a paternity test. BUT there is a lot of shadiness in the courts. Our judge was seeing my ex's attorneys behind our back and ended up recusing himself from our case. Try to work it out if you can. But sometimes court is the only option. Expect no less than $10k in attorney fees.

Mary - posted on 03/17/2010

I had the same problem. I talked to a lwayer to find out what my babys dad could and couldnt do. If you didnt file the paternity paper they gave you in the hospital then he has no rights to your. However if you plan on getting child support from him he will have to get a paternity test done at his expinse but in doing that it will give him rghts to the child. My baby's daddy has a drug problem too and i told him that i dont trust him around my son if I'm not going to be there and that he could see my son with out me there when he can pass a drug test for me.

Autymn - posted on 03/17/2010

The birth certificate doesnt matter in the law's eyes. He will have to pay a lawyer, buy the test, and serve you to have to get it done. My son's father and I had one done but at first it was your situation, he still hasnt signed the cirth certificate for the reason I moved 4 hours away. He still has rights.

Shalini - posted on 03/17/2010

You could actually get a lawyer to write a letter stating that you would like hime to relinguish all his rights to you. Talk to a lawyer. I have to do the same to. Mine signed the birth certificate.

Kendra - posted on 03/17/2010

I live in Texas, if the father doesnt register his paternity with in 30 days of the babys birth, you terminate the fathers rights without him knowing!

Amanda - posted on 03/17/2010

I just finished a complete outline of events since my sons birth to take to court with me tomorrow at 9am. Goodluck to you! i'm fighting for full custody. Completely willing to forfiet child support so that i don't have to worry about my sons safety being in his fathers care.

Nicole - posted on 03/17/2010

Gwen-that's a good idea about documenting! I need to start doing that. What state do you live in? I'm thinking laws probably vary by state??

Allie - posted on 03/17/2010

Yeah, honestly I just want to be able to make the decisions in the situation. I would still let him see the baby if he signed off on his rights, and he wouldn't have any money what so ever for child support so that's just stupid. And yeah, even if he quits doing drugs, there's plenty of other things that will go in my favor. I hope anyway.

Gwen - posted on 03/16/2010

I am kind of going through the same situation right now except the father does see my son but most of the time he is a no call no show. I was told by my lawyer that until we go to court and establish some sort of child support he has no rights what so ever. If you can get him to sign off his rights and try to tell him you would be willing to set up something with him that would be your best bet. Otherwise the advise I got and am extremely glad I took is DOCUMENT EVERYTHING - when/if he comes, what he says to you, when he calls, doc visits, anything and everything you can think of. That way when you get into court, if you have to go, your ability to get full custody and primary placement (which is the main thing you should fight for) is significantly greater than his. Also have him drug tested - they are required by law to inform him only 6 hours prior to the test - my guess is he will fail. In all reality if you want child support from him he is going to have some sort of right to your child. I chose to give up child support for primary placement of my son - it wasn't like I was going to see a dime anyway. I hope that helped - like I said before I am going through the same stuff right now and so anything I can answer or help with is no problem. Good luck!

Bel - posted on 03/16/2010

If they are not on birth certificate the dad would need to prove his the father of the child first with a DNA test. If his on birth certificate you need to go get full custody asap and state your case!

Nicole - posted on 03/16/2010

Hmmm...I'm not sure the whole law on this but I am interested in the Birth Certificate question.



What happened with me may give a little insight. There is no "father" on my son's BC, but I did go for child support after a long thought out process. My son's father signed that he was the biological father and so now he pays child support. He still isn't on the BC and we did end up doing a paternity test...just one that you order and send to a lab (his girlfriend wanted him to do it). Anyway, my understanding was that if he did the paternity test through the Commonwealth and it came back that he was the father, he would have to pay the full amount for the testing. If he was not the father, the Commonwealth would pay. You may need to check with your State's Child Support Enforcement Office or Government Center. I'm sure they would know. Either way, good luck!