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Father seeking visitation after 15 years

Crystal - posted on 01/08/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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After leaving when she was 9 months old, being in and out of jail for over 10 years, he know has served me with court papers to see her. My daughter wants to know her father, even tho he has walked by her on the streets and ignored her, his family drives by and flipps her off. She sees nothing wrong. I have hired a lawyer and have put my daughter in counceling and dont know what to do. He already is playing games, and his wife is too. Getting her to lie, telling her to beg to see if she can go over, even tho the current order is no contact.

She thinks theres nothing wrong and dont see the pain she is about to endur.
Does anyone have a similar situation, can u share how it turned out? as we havent gone to court yet.

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4 Comments

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Christina - posted on 01/22/2012

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Until 18 - you are in charge unless the court rules otherwise. be the bigger person, and do what is best for her.

Anginelle - posted on 01/09/2012

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Keep a record of everything that's going on. Be sure not to exaggerate the details. Take it to court with you. Be careful to keep your reactions to his actions as calm as possible or it will look like you're the hostile one. Your daughter is old enough to make the decision whether or not to see her father. As long as she feels good with him, she'll keep seeing him but trust an beleive every dog has his day. His true colors will shine through.

Michelle - posted on 01/08/2012

2,191

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Your daughter is 15 what will happen is the court will ask her opinion on visitation and as soon as she says she wants to see dad that will be the end of it they will say then see your dad. She is at an age where she needs to make decisions good or bad and learn from her mistakes. You can't keep her from him or you are the bad guy she has to be able to make up her mind about him on her own. Don't stand in her way just tell her you will always be there for her if she needs you.

Luvmia - posted on 01/08/2012

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If they are getting your daughter to lie, I have to say that your daughter is at the age that she is old enough to know better than to do so. You need to remind her that NO ONE is worth turning against or defying her own mother. Let her know that if she insists on dealing with them after everything they have done to her, then she needs to be ready to deal with the consequences by herself. You have to be ready to wash your hands of the situation if she decides to do so. I am telling you from personal experience that it will save you from a lot of heartache and pain. Or else, you are going to have a battle on your hands.



Therapy may help but I will tell you that if your daughter wants to see him, she WILL find a way to do so regardless of any order. I know from personal experience. The more you try to "save" her from them, the more you are going to be seen as the "enemy".



The best thing I can tell you is to let go and let God deal with this. Whatever is going to come to pass, you have to be ready to deal with it.



I hope things work out for the best for you.

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