Feeling down

Marisol - posted on 08/15/2017 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Lately I been feeling down. I have history with my baby daddy I even gave him his first son we aren't together and we haven't been since I was 6 months pregnant and our baby boy is now 2. To make the story short my son has a half brother and they're only 9 months apart he isn't with the other girl either but I see he shows more interest in him and asks about the other child. He hasn't asked about mine in 2 weeks and it just hurts. He says he loves them both the same but I see how he treats mine differently. Me and the other baby mama get along fine but I told her I didn't want to know anything about our children's father anymore and not to mention him since it hurts me.

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AG - posted on 08/18/2017

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I'm sorry you're feeling down.. We are in very similar boats.. (Background: Basically, after being on/off for 5 years, I got pregnant and he wasn't there for my pregnancy.. He finally came around when I gave birth and after a few months of coparenting, we restarted a relationship.. When my daughter was 16 months, he told me he had a 6 month old and that the other baby's mom got pregnant around the time I gave birth and he wasn't there for her either. He said he wanted us to be a family still and etc. but we argued for months and now he is attempting to work on a relationship to try to be with his other baby mom now.) I definitely understand your pain.. My baby's father admits that he sees his other kid more than he sees mine and it is upsetting to know our children are not treated as fairly....but that just shows us how much we love our kids and how much we want for them. The only thing I could say is love on your son more.... If this is the way he is choosing to parent, so be it. Don't allow your son to feel any less due to it. I think it's smart to ask the other baby's mom to not tell you anymore because it will probably make things worse if you knew.. Hang in there.. You're already a strong mama!

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Nicole - posted on 08/28/2017

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I understand that kind of hurt. My daughter's father has two other children with his wife and he claims to want to love and be there for them all equally, but he's failed my daughter miserably.
Sometimes he'll call and I'll hear him with his other girls playing or talking to them doing daily things. I'm constantly stabbed and reminded that not only was this man not there to see his daughter born, but he's missing out on vital parts of her life it seems like it doesn't bother him like it should, or like I think that it should.
I would say this, hurt as it may you cannot make someone care more. He either will or he won't. Focus on loving your son so hard it hurts. Teach him as much as possible. Help him to develop into a wonderful person. The stab will eventually come to his father, but by that time your son will be so well adjusted into life that he won't be bothered.

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