Amanda - posted on 12/08/2010 ( 24 moms have responded )
I'm only 20. this isn't how i pictured things. even after i had my second at only 19. I kicked my ex out and he moved across country when i was only about 6 -8 weeks with our daughter. I was planning on getting kids in daycare and going to work. Well daycare waiting lists are brutal. While i was waiting my son was seeing doctors to figure out his seizures. as soon as that was put aside he wasn't talking and he was having behaviour issues. so doctors and specialists for that started. I found out not to long ago he is autistic. my daughter is fine. the specialists have seen her in my sons play appointments and said shes accutally advanced. It good because shes starting to teach my son things. (shes 14 months old and he's 2 and a half.) they said its basicly like having twins because they're on the same level devlopmentally. its definetly a struggle but im dealing fairly well..
my problem is the therapy program for my son is intensive. there's a one year waiting list and once it starts It's 6 hours a day 5 days a week for 3 years. that means no daycare. even if i got him on a waiting list for one with a worker until he starts.. he'd only be in for a month or so before starting therapy. this means I can't work. no daycare, no one to watch them, no work, no income. I was REALLY hoping too avoid welfare. I don't want to be another teen mom who's a burden on society. but now i really don't have a choice. I'll need to be in housing and on welfare. I feel like a leech and a failure. I know I'm doing this for my child... but i can't help the pressure of judgement. how people just assume im lazy... while I'm on welfare i want to do some online courses so i'm not just sitting on my behind.
should i feel bad because i can't do this without government help? I don't even get child support because their sprem donar can't hold a job and doesn't send money even if he has it. honestly I just feel like complete white trash sterotype here. single teen mom, baby daddy went to jail, highschool drop out (medical issues with pregnancy prevented me from going), and welfare mom with two kids. that ontop of the pressue of a mentally handicap son and daughter who has to be deal with her brothers behaviour...it's almost suffocating me.