first time mom help wit dead beat dad

Ashley - posted on 09/24/2009

not facebook my bad it was myspace =D

Ashley - posted on 09/24/2009

Let me say that at least your still pregnant and doesnt know the person. My deadbeat dad was around for year or more and he got arrested because, personally, he took the easy way out. We didnt have a home and were going to go to a shelter, least going to jail on his grandma's behalf she'd get him out and we'd be seperated... It was very scary to be alone and im glad that i have such great parents who came and got us. I will say that i have made sum mistakes, and i wish i could take em all back... But, i cant. Here i am now, 22 yrs old with my 4 yr old daughter........ I paid for him to come down for christmas and it was hell.... I dont know how else to put it. But, i refuse to bad mouth him..... When i kicked him out on Jan 1st, 2009 i told him that he could come over to my house and visit her.... Not once, and 9 months 21 days later he thinks that its okay to try and add me to his facebook so he can see her pictures, and b all up in OUR BUSINESS. I am very angry because after so long he wants to come back and ruin her day because of his own selfish reasons. He told me Karma will come back to get me cause i kept her away from her daddy and blah blah Fin blah... This guy hasnt ever done anything, and he wants to intrud on our lives... It is not fair. Here i am 365 days a year, 24/7 being a good mother to my baby, everything and anything she needs, emotionally mentally physically u know what i mean there i am there giving it too her, and here he is on the good days that i look forward too and makes me feel like crap cause hes a deadbeat and i wont let him talk to his daughter cause he owes her 4 yrs worth of everything, and unfortuantely he cant give back everything. Think i have a reason to be angry, i mean im already filing and I really want to terminate his rights. Help, any advice will help.....





Love,



Stressed out Single Student Mother

Amber - posted on 09/24/2009

thanks im still a lil confused on how to go about terminating his rights when he now all of a sudden wants to be in my sons life.....with him not being there through the whole pregnancy n such is there a way a i can keep him a way

Jennifer - posted on 09/24/2009

Dont put his name on the BC. Then technically he has no rights. He would have to sue you and prove he is the father. If he isnt going to be there and doesnt want to sign the papers it is only because he wants to be in control of his involvement. Meaning it sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. ~Being a part of the childs life without beiung legally held to the responsibility of CS and such.

If I were you I would continue on the same path you are and ignore his threats and if you need to go as far as to get a Protection Order. You can just based on that fact that he has threatened to take the beaby from you.Cut off contact with him and then you do not have to worry about him.

Amber - posted on 09/23/2009

thanks both of you thats helps some but im still wondering how i can get his rights taken when he wants to be invloved...i have heard about putting an ad in the paper but im not to sure on how to go about doing that if anyone knows how or what steps to take please let me know

Charlotte - posted on 09/22/2009

hi,

i wouldnt put his name on the cert then he has no rights to him.. i have been thru a similar experience with my bub. if you have any text msgs keep them on your phone write then down in a diary as a record.. i wouldnt ask legal aid or speak to a legal aid person i would pay the money and see a laywer when i spoke to legal aid my lawyer said i wished you had spoken to me first.. dont stress about it i know its hard not too trust me i was stressed alot thru my pregnancy i was in and out hospital with how much stress i got out under with my daughters dad.. every thing will be ok..

take care

Angela - posted on 09/22/2009

First don't panic its not healthy late term. Go to your local courthouse and find a legal aide lawer to answer your questions. First thing get a temp restraning order against him. He doesn't want to be in his sons life as much as upset you. Don't record him as father of record and you can have his rights terminated. Find a way to document his threats against his son to kidnap it will help. After reading your story, I support your decisions. Keep in touch I would love to hear what happened.