hardships of being a single mom

Yvonne - posted on 01/28/2009

I totally agree with Jennifer... Know who your friends are and you will be alright.. learn to enjoy yourself more.. You will find out that your own company is the best company ever.

Jennifer - posted on 01/28/2009

Or just don't expect to be able to count on your friends.  I haven't had a close friend in years and that's ok with me.  I keep what friends I do have around for when I want to go out and act my age.  As I'm getting over that and feeling it's time to move on, I've been spending less and less time with those friends and more time with my friends who have kids or who are in a relationship, or at home by myself.  Just something to think about.

Oh, and if you're losing friends over petty stuff, then (here it comes!) they weren't you real friends to begin with : )

Jessica - posted on 01/28/2009

I guess that it's more of a matter that I need to just get over it and realize that it's not the right time or place to focus on the friend aspect of my life. I just feel like I continue to lose friends over petty stuff, and it's just not worth it.

Jen - there is definitely more than just one person that does it... lol

Jennifer - posted on 01/28/2009

Hey now I am your friend and I understand exactly what it's like!  If you ever need to talk or need anything, you know you can call me!  And I don't know why somebody would argue with you over your lifestyle choices, although I'm sure I can think of one person that totally would : )

Yvonne - posted on 01/28/2009

a true friend would be there for you.. I had my first child at 22 and went to school and work. I didn't get a chance to quit my job. but my friends were there for me. they knew everywhere I went my daughter came too. Your friends should be more understanding instead of argueing with you. And to this day my old friends are still there for me and half of them still don't have children...

Niki - posted on 01/27/2009

Hi, i am a single mommy at 22 and my little girl is 18 months old! i am the only one of all of my friends that has a child! it does get really frustrating. I don't live where all my friends are anymore, i moved away for a better job. but when i go home to visit! they alway's want to go out and party! yea it's nice getting out for the odd weekend every 4 or 5 months! lol haha! but i love staying home with my daughter more than going out and spending money on booze when i can get her a new toy that she will enjoy so much more! they will come around once they pop one out! lol! everything changes! EVERYTHING!  it's been 18 months since my little girl was born and i'm still tired! i work lot's to give her a good life later on and  same for you you go to school! just be happy that you alway's have someone to come home to and cuddle! even tho you might have to get up a couple times a night it's way more rewarding then hanging out with firnds who really prob only car about boy's money and shopping! But you my dear have a beautiful little girl to care about! good luck with everythin!!! and i bet she's such a cutie!

Krista - posted on 01/27/2009

I know how you feel, I'm 29 years old but none of my friends have children.  I came here to find moms and make friends. 

Nicole - posted on 01/27/2009

Friends that are petty have no place in your life.  They need to grow up!  Good for you for going to school and also giving up your "job" to be at home with your child.  You can never get back the time with your children.  Do they have MOTS?  (mothers of toddlers)  I have heard that works great...but hang in there and, chin up!  You are doing the right thing and being a great role model for your daughter!

Tara - posted on 01/25/2009

Age has really become just a number these days. If your friends are truley your friends them they will understand you and your life. Yhey would be respectfull of the decisions that you make and even sometimes choose to meet you somewhere in the middle. I they won't then I wouldn't consider them friends; and in that case I would try to meet people that shared my personal life experience, no matter their age. Godd Luck!

Abd - posted on 01/25/2009

Jessica, it's hard and it does have it's easy times but more often it just seems to hard. I am a single mom of two boys 4 and 2. I work and go to school full time but we do what we do best as moms cause it's just in our genes. What might help is to meet women in your local area that you can hang out with from time to time so that you don't feel so alone. Some people inour situations won't understand unless they go through themselves. Hang in there and stay focused.

Jessica - posted on 01/25/2009

It is hard, and I try not to worry about it but sometimes it seems like no one is even giving themselves the chance to understand my situation. It's just hard finding common ground lately.

Jennifer - posted on 01/24/2009

Hi Jessica I can relate to you because when I had my first son I had just turned 21. Now I am 26 and have a second son who is 2 and my oldest is 5. I have run into that same problem, but I learned that it is a lot less stressful to have friends who may be your same age, BUT are mature enough to understand your situation and are not worrying over meaningless things. I have few friends who don't have children simply because they don't understand why you say no to going out everynight or can't just drop everything and run to the mall with them. When you have children, you have decided to put this child's needs in front of your own and yes it is hard, but it can also be very rewarding. This is why I choose to surround myself with mature, responsible adults who are there for me when I'm feeling like I can't go on, they are there to uplift me, rather than give me more stress. I am separated from my husband (who has been out of the country since last July) with two young boys, a full time job and taking some online classes, I understand how hard it is. I think you are doing a wonderful job by staying home with your daughter and teaching her that by a little sacrifice you can reach all of your dreams. Keep up the good work and if you ever need to talk about anything, let me know! Take care Jenn

Demontica - posted on 01/24/2009

I wouldn't worry about what someone without children has to say because they will never understand what a parent goes through until they have children. There's no need to argue with them either......when they start to fuss about silly things I would just tell them " I am not going to argue with you about something that you don't understand" and just leave the conversation there, no need to go on about that. I think that it's good to also have friends that are moms also because you can relate to them on motherly issues and they willl understand better than your single friends...being a mom is a whirlwind of events and you are responsible for a little life that depends on you to take care of them......i love being a mom you can look at life differently now and see it through your child's eyes.......congrats on wanting to continue your education and not just giving up because you have a child. I am a 23 year old single mom of a 2 1/2 year old and I work 36 hours a week and go to school full time and I have a few friends who aren't parents and sometimes they just don't understand but I'm grateful to have friends who also have children so I can always have someone to talk "mommy talk" to......good luck!!