he is thretening to get custody of my boy, how do i stop him....

April - posted on 02/14/2010

im having a similar problem. so i went to legal aid and got an order against bubs father, so in ur order u just write that u have full custardy and he has visiting rights only, and from the day u wright it out with ur cilisitor it stands. and the only way he can over rule it is if he has a good reason to say that your a bad mother which i doubt, but yeah if you get in first with an order then you should be right. talk to a cilisitor anyway they might tell you another way but that what they told me and it worked for me. anyway good luck and best wishes. xxx

Kristine - posted on 02/14/2010

the thing is i wasnt the one using foul language or being abusive i was just standing my ground...but i know what your saying..is it wise to get full costody because ive been told that it can be jepardised if he fights for it he will get some costody..

Lauren - posted on 02/13/2010

I can answer this one for you! :)

Let him threaten all he wants to. Let him take you to court if he wants to.

No judge on the face of this planet would take a child away from his/her mother unless they were proven to be unfit. Using foul language does not make you an unfit mother. Sounds like he is a controlling person and this is his way of "trying to make you think" he is in control. He's not.

Just do your best to take care of your child and provide for your child. Its hard not to get upset, but don't let some butthole get the best of you. Let him threaten all he wants and when he tells you he is going to take custody away...just smile and tell him to do whatever he thinks he needs to do.

Be the best mother you can be. Forget this jerk and focus on your sweet angel! :)

Kristine - posted on 02/13/2010

thank you for your comments i will be going to see a lawyer first thing monday morning ..

Lindsay - posted on 02/13/2010

Bottom line is that you need to protect yourself and your son. Your babies father gave up his legal obligation when he suggested that you abort the baby. So he cant come back and threat to attain custody. If this is taken to court, the judge will look at it from the stand point, of what is best for the child and which environment will foster this childs upbringing. You should suggest that your ex gets a psychiatric evaluation. And in terms of yourself, it is a tough situation that you are in but dont let him push you around, but in the same token don't do anything that can be held against you and keep your nose clean. Seek some legal advice, from a couple different lawyers, and make an informed decision! Also, if he is violent and abusive and you are scared about the safety of your child and yourself. You need to file a restraining order against him.

And in terms of a father figure, if your sons father is acting this way, then I would rather him go fatherless... He doesn't need to end up unstable like him.

Josie - posted on 02/13/2010

First of all your son is not going to hate you. I dated a guy, got pregnant, told him, he didn't seem interested. He gave me some money and saw my daughter in the hospital once. I gave him every opportunity to see his child, never put any pressure on him, the door was always opened. He chose not to be interested but my daughter knows I gave him the opportunity and he didn't take it, not my fault. She has seen how I have worked to give her a good education and upbring, she doesn't hate me. She is 23 now and great! Your ex has issues. First you should see if you could get a restraining order, consult with an attorney, most consults are free, you can apply for sole custody and a judge can assign you an attorney for free depending on your financial situation. You need to start documenting conversations when he's abusive, if you are living with family put him on speaker phone so you could have witnesses to his abusive conversations, better yet record the conversations if you can. He can file for custody, doesn't mean he is going to get it. My best advise is when dealing with him, try to keep your cool and don't curse at him, so he can't use that against you if you go to court. My husband wasn't abusive and he was there was no concern with safety with him and the kids and I still got custody of my children. He was just a disinterested father. Hope this helps. If you have any questions email me here or better yet at vennus136@hotmail.com-put custody in the subject so I'll know because I get alot of junk mail. GOOD LUCK! PS children need loving people in their lives, a father-figure etc., remember being a dad takes more than releasing some sperm.

Sally - posted on 02/13/2010

Have you resort to legal advice? That is the only safe way to take things running smoothly. Just go a see a Solicitor and be done with it. Set your goals as to what you want in your terms. Don't be carried away by his dis respectfulness. At the beginning he will be intimidating then it will wear out believe you me I went through what you have been through and now he is just another man giving a lot of alibis like he can't pick his child up for some stupid reason. So just calm down and again I will tell you to see a solicitor that you are comfortable with. That is all I can tell you.