HELP!! A lousy ex and the separation anxiety of a 7 month old

Karen - posted on 10/01/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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ok so here's the story. my ex and i broke up when my daughter was 5 weeks old, he did not see her for 3 months finally he showed up at my door asking to see her. we agreed on every other weekend for visits, and extra time if he wanted it. he showed up 2 weeks in a row but now he only comes every 4 or 5 weeks, my daughter has been recently showing sings of separation anxiety, not letting me walk out of the room, waking up in the middle of the night, ect. it has been 3 weeks since he last saw my daughter and will be another 2 before he comes to get her (at least that's what's planned) i am worried about how she will react to this, she barley knows who he even is. everytime he has got her he has trouble with trying to calm her when she's upset and getting her to sleep and now with the separation anxiety i know it will be that much worse. i know it's wrong but i am begining to think that it's in her best interest if i stop allowing him to see her. what should i do?? also is it possable that his random visits are making the separation anxiety worse??

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2 Comments

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Dana - posted on 10/02/2010

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Karen,
I realize you are trying to give him the benefit and be with his daughter. If no legal visitation is in place, I would take notes of his behavior, your daughter's, the no shows and lapse of time between visits. Record it all. Yes, it is effecting your daughter and YOU. Set boundaries and dreams for yourself and daughter. You gain freedom and protection when he crosses the line from boundaries and hope and inspiration from your dreams. For more encouragement try ; http://bit.ly/FullFillYourDestiny

Felicia - posted on 10/01/2010

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he either needs to come around more often or stop letting him come around. all that is not good for your daughter. i have a friend who let her babys dad come in and out of her life and she was i believe 2 when she told him not to come around because her daughter was getting upset with him coming in and out and she was pulling her own hair out and would wake up at night screaming for him and it was really difficult for my friend to handle....i hope this helps

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