HELP! daughter father in prison ):

Maya - posted on 06/27/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

31

0

0

I am a teen mom. I work and take care of my daughter full time by myself & starting college in the fall. She is my world and i just want the best for her.My daughters father is in prison for 10 years. She is only 1, Hes been there since before she was born. Im scared about how she may feel in the future. Im scared shes not getting all the love she needs. I just want my daughter to be happy. Has anyone went/going through this? Any advice ?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Brittany - posted on 06/28/2012

168

0

42

Hi there, My sons father was put in jail when my son was 3, I was also a young mother - 20 at the time he was locked up. It was absolutley awful expeiriance. He was sentanced to 7 years, but was released after 4, he just recently got out of jail this past febuary. My son has some contact with him, speaking with him monthly or so over the phone.

You just need to feel secure in the fact that you can do this all on your own. Lots of children are raised in a single parent home, and lots of children thrive this way. Honestly its probably better he is not involved, given him sentance, right? Try to move on with your life, have fun with your daughter, involve your family in raising her, and anyone that can be involved from the other side of the family as well. My sons grandfather, his dads dad - really stepped up to the plate during this time, he would take him every weekend and really took on the dad role. Also keep up your own personal life, date - have fun, stay happy yourself - maybe find that perfect man who can be a great role model and step father for her.

You can do this all by yourself - be confident, your daughter needs you - and will love you more than words for always being her rock and security when you were all she had. Explain to her daddy can't be here but that you will always be here for her when she needs you - I'm sure all will turn out fine, the only other thing I can think of to advise, is please don't bring her to the jail to meet her father, this is an extremally important thing, it can cause alot of anxiety for a man she doesn't even have to know until he is released.. maybe not even than. Go to court, get full custody and live your life for your daughter and yourself.

Take care, and good luck to you - feel free to message me if you want to chat :)

Samantha - posted on 06/30/2012

88

0

8

she would only resent u if u dragged her to prisons n bad situations, she wont resent u for giving her a normal life she will be thankfull for u. when she is old enuf then just explain the situation

Brittany - posted on 06/29/2012

168

0

42

Yup I agree with Stella, your daughter won't resent you - it's his fault he's there, and she'll realize you picked up all the peices for her :)

Lakota - posted on 06/29/2012

710

0

192

Hi, Maya. Your daughter isn't going to resent you. You're not the one who did something wrong to end up in prison. He made his choices. You will be fine.

Samantha - posted on 06/28/2012

88

0

8

when i was pregnant my childs father was up in court n could have been getting up to 5 years, i cried n cried n prayed that he wouldnt get locked up... now i wish he had of... he is giving us nothing but stress!!!! disappering for weeks, bad temper, getting in trouble. u don't need a criminal in your life.. u will meet someone decent in time. i know what its like when your in your teens and its a first love, i had one n he went to prison n i thought i was going crazy i missed him sooo much even though every1 said he was wrong 4 me... when he got out of prison i done everything i could to get back with him, n i did, i ended up on drugs homeless, basically being with him ruined my life n i dont know what i was thinking at the time,, so this could be a blessing in discuise

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

7 Comments

View replies by

Ruth Ann - posted on 01/05/2014

1

0

0

I appreciate all comments. As a Grandmother I have witnessed several situations in my family as well as close friends. I agree that you should get 100% full custodial rights legally for your child. Remember while protecting your child, it is also important to realize that they do have a biological "dad". The child will want answers. By not letting the child know more of their dad, they may think he is the most horrific of individuals. If you make him out as 100% "bad" it will eventually backfire on you. When they are older, in teens, they most likely will want to know the "details". Be honest. Factual. Offer to get the court records if needed as they are public record. What about the Father's family? Does your state have legal Grandparent rights? (google your state and grandparent rights, it will pull up the laws in your state) The child may want to know and have connection with their dads family. Children can have "parenting" from your parents, as well as his. Keeping the child totally isolated may be best if he is a very violent and mean individual. But what of his family? Letting the child have love from all aspects will give them a firm foundation to grow up on. Best to you!

Maya - posted on 06/28/2012

31

0

0

Thank you both this was very helpful. I just hope my daughter doesn't have resentment toward me in the end, but im gonna do what I think is best and just live for my daughter and I, and hope everything will work out in the end.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms