HELP! Ex Boyfriend/ father of my child trying to take me to court.

LeeA - posted on 04/11/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Iam a mother of a 2yearold girl and I have a big problem. My ex boyfriend is insulting me, saying he is going to take me to court so my little girl can have his last name. Can he do that? He is not on the birth certificate and does not pay child support. He hasnt been a very good father either. What should I do?

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Vereena - posted on 04/14/2012

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If I were you, I would completely disconnect myself from him. Stop all contact of any kind. He has no rights at all to see or talk to you; or to the little girl. Obviously there is a reason you did not put him on the birth certificate, get a restraining order against him. You do not have to answer the door or the phone if it is him. Don't give him any opportunity to speak to or see either you or your daughter. And lastly, please be careful, this guy sounds like he is unstable and would not hesitate to abduct your child. Keep her safe at all times.

Julianna - posted on 04/14/2012

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I was going through the same thing. My 'sperm donor' has threatened to go to the courthouse to figure out what he can do to gain some sort of rights to my daughter. I don't ever reply back to emails, messages, etc. If he REALLY wants to take part in my daughter's life, he can be the one to go get the test, have to pay child support, stay off drugs, prove he has a safe environment for her and all that jazz he has to prove to the court. It's a lot of work, especially since I didn't name him on the birth certificate AND her last name is mine.



Best wishes!!!

Jessica - posted on 04/12/2012

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as of right now he has no rights because he is not on the birth certificate and hasn't paid anything for your daughter. He is bluffing just to upset you. Don't worry.

[deleted account]

As he's not on the birth certificate, my first thoughts would be that he would have to prove to the judge that he is the biological father of your daughter. The only way is by having a DNA test. By wanting to prove that he is the Dad of your daughter, so that she can have his surname, will come the other little things like paying child support etc.. Let him take you to court if that is really wants, but make sure that you get the appropriate legal advice you need as well. Find out what the implications for you and your daughter are should your ex manage to 'give' your daughter his surname.

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9 Comments

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Marian - posted on 03/17/2013

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I really wish people wouldn't threaten each other with going to court, to try and manipulate their co-parent into giving them their way. In this instance everyone is right. If he wants to take you to court let him. The burden of proof is on him. He will have to seek out an attorney, DNA testing... If for some reason he does, there will for sure be an order of support granted, and likely the judge will require back pay, if he hasn't been paying.
If he is genuinely interested in having a relationship with his daughter, then he will willingly go through all that, otherwise this is his way of manipulating you emotionally. You need to let him know that it isn't going to work, so he will stop. If you feel you or your daughter are in danger by all means seek legal protection. He can't harass you.

Lynette - posted on 03/17/2013

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I'm a mother of two. My boyfriend I have now iv been with for 3 years I have one child with him, she is 2 years old. My partner has a anger issue. Wen we argue he shouts in front of my kids n they cry so I cry. He keeps say if I leave he goin to take my child. I need help on wat to do.

Bryndís - posted on 04/13/2012

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He is full of s**t and is trying to scare you and have control over you in any way possible. Don't believe him. He is not on the birth certificate so he would have to prove he is the father and DNA test costs alot of money. He's bluffing and you should stop talking to him. Just shut him out of your life, he is obviously not good for you and your daughter.

Jennifer - posted on 04/13/2012

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Not sure what state you are in, but I was living in NY state when I had my daughter. Her father was not initially on the birth certificate and she has my last name. The court can not 'force' the last name to be changed. But as another one previously stated, once he is on the birth certificate he will then be forced to pay child support and be entitled rights (visitation, vacations, etc) to his daughter, once the DNA test came back showing he is the father. I went thru 3.5 years of court battles with my daughter's father and he decided he wanted to just walk away and not look back as he had another girlfriend and child by then. He still pays child support, but signed off all custody rights of her. Good luck as I know what it is like.

Mommy Under Pressure - posted on 04/11/2012

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Sweety he is full of crap. Don't take his calls, answer the door or have anything to do with him. Stand up for yourself and YOUR DAUGHTER!! Let him do it, $20 says he won't. It's just idle threats from a bully. If he does, great. Then he is the one paying for the lawyer, the paternity, test, and as soon as he is in front of the judge wanting this and that the judging will be issuing the child support decree. Tell him careful what you wish for, then get a restraining order if you have to.

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