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HELP NEW SINGLE MOM

Britney - posted on 05/18/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

So my Husband of 3 years was a non working pot smoking low life. I asked him to get up and job serch this morning because I have a 16 month old baby girl and im 18 weeks pregnant I left work due to discrimination. and He looks at me and said I have to find a job being pregnant for him to find ajob????. What kind of guy tells their pregnany wife to get a job in stead of the "man" finding a job. Im a new single mom and im very scared about being alone raising 2 babies. What are good ways to cope with this situation?

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Diana - posted on 05/19/2011

IF you have relatives parents move in with them for now leave you husband get a legal divorse. then get a job after you have the baby and go then after 3 months after you have the baby and get a good job. help out your family till you can get back on you feel and after the baby is born. You don't need a husband tell you to get a job when your pregnant let him to that why is he out of work anyways>? who cares that you have been married 3 years. what a jerk. or just seperate with him but make it legal. see if he get's his shit together. like getting a job to support the family that he has.good luck.

Carol - posted on 05/19/2011

283

He needs to find a job and support his family. Perhaps you could have another relative or friend he looks up to (or is scared of LOL) talk to him about the responsibilities of being a parent.

Edna - posted on 05/19/2011

There is no good way to put this, He needs to go and find a job and be your strong rock, he is the head of the household. And also I would advise that you do find a job to make sure that you are secured due to the fact that you will have two kids to raise, no time to be scared ! You can do all things, just believe that you can .

Kristina - posted on 05/19/2011

I am a single mom of 3 and yes it does get hard but it never gets as hard as it was when I was with their dad. When they are lazy non working potheads its just like having another child. Leaving their Dad is the best thing that I could have done and I'm sure you will see that soon with your own situation. Those "men" aren't a good role model and you don't want your kids thinking that behaving that way is acceptable. I get assistance for childcare as well. You should definitely check your states assistance websites, I think that most of them even have applications online so that makes things a bit easier and as a single mom of 2 you should definitely qualify for food stamps and childcare. It can be scary but you will be so proud of yourself when you realize you don't need or want a low life :) You build a strong bond with your children being both parents! I don't have any family so I know it can be stressful which is why I am glad I found this site. actually Jennifer was very welcoming when I first joined!! I'd like to talk to both of you ladies more since we are in the same boat :)

Courtney - posted on 05/19/2011

Hi I am a single mom and at its a hard job to do, but if you can surround yourself with friends and family that are supportive then they will be a big help. I take advantage of the time my son is napping or goes to sleep because your definitlygoing to need "me" time to stay sane and happy so that your kids are happy. Women are strong people and we are even stronger when we become mothers. You will be fine!

Courtney - posted on 05/19/2011

Meagan - posted on 05/18/2011

178

First, kudos on leaving the low-life! Although it'll be harder, you will probably be much happier. The key to single parenting to every so often getting a kid free couple hours. If that means they hang out at grandmas/grandpas for a couple hours while you stay home and take a bath, then that is what it means! Unfortunately, it wont be constant, but it sounds like you may have already BEEN a single mom of 2 kids all along. XP I would google your states assistance website. In az there is a website that'll check what benefits your are eligible, so I'm not sure where you are from, but that may be an option for you. Also, try to ask for help from your family every so often. I dont know your relationship with them, but it never hurts to ask! Things will be ok, and actually they will probably be easier. Just remember it doesnt make you a bad mother to ask for help, and it is ok to have someone baby sit for a few hours every so often while you breath. =]