hi, i have a 4 year old son, who;s moods and temper tantrums are getting worse!! i split up with his father 6 months ago, and my son doesnt seem to be coping with it at all. he seems really angry and frustrated. is there any mums out there who have gone through this or are going through it, as i really dont know what to do anymore. thankou x

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amanda - posted on 01/26/2009

1

11

0

I too became a single mom when my daughter was 4.  Not from divorce, but death. So, I can't really comment on your specific situation. 



 



However, we did find something that helped.  Have you heard of the peer support organization, Rainbows?  I sent my daughter through the program at a local church and it really helped.  It is an international program.  Their webiste has some great information as well - http://www.rainbows.org/



Their program deals with all kinds of loss - death, divorce, etc. 



At any rate, I wish you the best of luck!

Jeffienna - posted on 01/25/2009

5

9

1

Your welcome, you know some days you could just go crazy. Today my boy emptied a 2ltr of chocolate milk on the floor, and then screamed for 40mins, as I took his favorite toy off him. I had to walk away, have a ciggie, and hope that my temper didnt blow!! As what I really felt like doing was just unrepeatable!!! this is what happens every time his father calls him... Its hard But Im sure you will get there, and so will I. We have too, our boys have us, and thats it. they cant exchange us for a new Mom so we have to try to be as level as we can for them..... Smile, youll shine when you do.

Jeffienna - posted on 01/25/2009

5

9

1

I have a 4yr old son, who's temper and moods were outrageous when his father and I split up. He drove me to the point of insanity with his behaviour. I took him to see a Dr who said that transient depression, (sounds awful aye), is normal.



I can tell you, that it is really hard on the Mum, as we get the blame for Dad leaving. We do all the telling off, and have to be Mum and Dad all in one go. but it does get easier.



Expect this for another 6mths. Kids dont do change so well. My advise to you is try your very best to stay calm. I know its hard when they have been just terrible all day some days. Walk away, and please, please know that you are a good Mum. Its hard to feel like the best Mum when your tackling a break up. I felt like crap. But I did my best, and I still struggle.



Get your bestfriend to listen to you. Find someone who can give you a cuddle when you need it. And try and get a break from your wee man when you can.



Its hard for you both, dont under estimate the power of you, ever. Stick in there. My heart goes out to you, I know how you feel. I dont have a quick fix for you, but I hope my waffel at least makes you feel better, knowing that kids get frustrated and angry too.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

6 Comments

View replies by

Karen - posted on 01/26/2009

5

9

0

amanda, i am so sorry to hear of your loss, that must have been dreadfull for you and your daughter, makes my problem seem quite minimal. thankyou very much for your advice, i have never heard of rainbows, but i will be sure to look into them now,



thankyou once again, and best wishes to you x

Karen - posted on 01/26/2009

5

9

0

oohh i know what u mean about having to walk away sometimes, i have had one of those days today with my wee boy. i had to leave him screaming in his room, while i went and stood in the garden for 10 mins, smoking about 3 ciggies in that time, just to calm myself down!!!! he also seems to be alot worse once he has spoken to his dad, or seen him, part of me (very selfishly) wishes his father had no contact with him at all, but i cant take that away from my son!! och well im sure we will get through this, i mad be a 40 a day smoker and alcoholic by then though lol!! thanks again for your very kind words, its great to chat to someone else who knows first hand what it is like :0) x

Karen - posted on 01/25/2009

5

9

0

thankyou very much for you kind words and advice. i have now realised that shouting at him does nothing to solve the problem, so i am now trying the calm approach, fingers crossed aye!! i know it is me he has the problem with, because hes a wee angel in school and at his grand parents, so im just going to have to ride through it i think and hope he can get over this!! i have a great circle of friends who are always there with cuddles, and let me bend there ears, so i am quite fortunate!! thankyou ever so much again, i now dont feel as if im the only mum to ever go through this lol!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms