How can fathers go on about life as if there child doesnt exist?

[deleted account] ( 68 moms have responded )

I have to stay 30 min away from my son for a week because my car is broken down and im staying at my aunts to be closer to my job..and cant seen him until friday and it's killing me already..occassionally I will log on to my brothers xbox account and see that my bd is online playing games..and it makes me so angry he has time to get online and play games all day but doesnt have time to pay me child support or send me an email to see how his son is doing..? it just doesnt make sense to me and I will never be able to forgive him especially not after him having me arrested smh..not to mention this is month 2 where he hasnt even attempted to pay his child support! SMH...FML!



SORRY FOR THE VENT! Just hurts to know ANY and EVERYTHING is more important then my son to his own father!

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JPatrick - posted on 09/09/2013

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Short answer is, most of those men probably should not have had (and did not want) the kids in the first place. Guys like sex, and they will get it regardless of whether they a) love the woman, or b) risk getting her pregnant. If they screw up and father a child, they are on the hook for support if a mom requests it, but that doesn't necessarily make them want or love a child they frankly preferred did not exist.
Sometimes they try to "make it work" because a) they have to pay support anyway so might as well, and b) they are pressured (by society, their family, the baby mama, etc.) to "step up" and be a dad. However, if their heart is not really in it, it's hard to develop a loving bond that the mom has (obviously, she wanted the kid or would not have carried it to term and spends the most time raising the child). Plus, dads may not want to deal with seeing their child's mother who they did not want to be tied down to for life hence leaving in the first place, or maybe seeing the person who the mother is with, if he did have a relationship with her, as these can be painful and difficult things, so he just bows out. Just my thoughts, if anyone really is looking for reasons.

Kimberly - posted on 06/04/2010

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We have gone 15 years, that's right, years without child support. I stopped asking why years ago and really, it's so freeing! Don't worry or wonder, just ENJOY your kids. Mine are getting older and I look back and wish I hadn't dealt with any drama. None of it was worth it, I had / have no control over the situation. Ultimately, it's HIS LOSS 100%. My girls are healthy, intelligent and wonderful girls. This is the legacy I wish them to see, not me worrying / wondering about their dad and what he should have done. Enjoy your children, they grow so quickly.
With that being said, I would also say fight for justice, just don't take any crap. I believe both parents should be financially responsible for their children. If need be, fight. I've had to also.

Googleversionbenny - posted on 11/17/2013

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as a father of a child of a woman I am no longer with, and I use the word father strongly, after reading all of your comments, I cant help but feel as if you have had a precious gift stolen, i feel great compassion and sorrow. my little girls mother has barred me from seeing her for 0ne full year. i stuck up for myself, i finally convinced her to send a picture or two that moved on to finally getting to see my baby girl. as a true father of only 21, look all i can ask is if the baby's dad makes an effort listen! its tremendously hard to hear a woman say, you aren't worth it, your kid is better off not knowing you, and actually it sucks but as i know most of the women today hit for child support, if a man is willing to give the smallest amount maybe its all he has, he cant give more than he has. i have poured my heart and soul into seeing my baby girl i hope your children will eventually get the blessing of a father with the right mindset. i apologize on behalf of my gender, we aren't all broken, there is one or two fighters left, i spent my time battling, lets hope some of your men carry that torch!

Margaret - posted on 12/11/2012

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It's been 10 years and my granddaughter still gets a few dollars when her dad is arrested. I really mean a "few". He got out of jail last time for $18.00. He has only been in jail twice for child support and only for a day or two but he never pays. She has remarried and moved on. The man does not want to change. He's happy with his life the way it is and now has many children to support, but doesn't pay for any of them and is not married to any of the mothers. We always suffer the consequences in life for our poor choices, but the ones who suffer the most are the kids. We can make it right by forgetting the past and giving them a bright future. Don't pine away over what you thought you were going to have or should have. You know they aren't going to come through so move on, build a new life, find a steady job or get grants to go back to school in a marketable field and make the decision that your child is going to be on the top of your list. With that in mind, you will do everything you can to make things right. After all, it was our decisions that caused the issue in the first place. That doesn't mean you can't forgive yourself for your role in choosing the wrong partner. You also have to make that decision to move on. The leopard does not change it's spots. If he is a loser who doesn't care then he will always be a loser who doesn't care unless he chooses to change his own path.

Thembi - posted on 06/22/2010

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As difficult as it is, let's try and stop asking the "why's and the what if's". Let us free ourselves from this missery. My bd just decided to stay away from us for reasons only him knows. But hey we have little lifes that are just perfect fits to us, & some of us God has blessed us with jobs to be able to take care of these angels...As for those, their day will come & I think mine is already feeling the heat as we speak...

68 Comments

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[deleted account]

Rachael- Of course you would think I'M the jealous one and this is all my fault and I'm the one keeping him away from his child and what not. But you're wrong. Women like you don't want to accept the fact that their BD does not want anything to do with them so its easier to blame his wife. Just because a women has a child with a man they expect automatic respect and all this bs. He is a grown ass man who can make his own decisions. I had nothing to do with them when she was pregnant or after the child was born fyi. And yes he did tell me the condom broke, so did she. She even told me they BOTH agreed on an abortion. But for some reason she thought he might just stick around if she had his child. And I think it is so stupid to have a child by some one you don't even know! Not to mention, this is her 3rd child with a 3rd man. That must say something about a person. How about taking responsibility and accepting it was stupid to have a child by somebody you don't know or having a child because you thought that was the way to keep him by your side? If she really wanted the best for this child, then why not try to get along with him and myself?? Things don't have to be complicated. I have tried to be nice to her and help out so many times, but when she see's he doesn't do exactly what she wants him to do, then she takes it out on me like the crazy women she is. I don't blame any men who don't want to be around women like that. So like i said before, there is always two sides to every story and not all single mom's are "victims". And to answer your question about if my husband left me, then that would be between me and him and I would try to do the best for myself and my daughters as a mother that I am. I would not be acting like a poor crazy victim or putting my children in the middle of our problems!

Suprfrek95 - posted on 10/17/2017

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My daughter's father took off before she was born he said everything in the book. That I cheated, that she isn't his, that I should have an abortion, put her up for adoption, I just don't understand why parents can just walk out on their kid it doesn't make sense to me. One time he told me that I can't raise her right because i'm JUST mom. What is that suppose to mean "JUST mom" I carried her for 42 weeks, she was almost born 4 different times to the point they stop the labor, I had 36 hours of labor, 2 hours of pushing, a c-section, she went back to the hospital because she stopped breathing and was in there for a week, she is on a bunch of meds. But the worst part is he hasn't even seen her once. Tell me does that make sense to any of you?

Rachael - posted on 09/14/2017

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People on here make me laugh really trying to say if the man was with the women in relationship he should be there for his kids but if he wasn't with the women he shouldn't have be father if he dosent want to wats the difference because he was with the women and not the other cop on no matter what the situation is you take responsibility and be there for your child no matter If your with the child's mother or not .like I stated before the child is never to blame there's loads of people had one night stand and the father was there for the child even though he wasn't with the mother .you don't Base on being there for you child because you were with there mother or not

Rachael - posted on 09/14/2017

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Olivia L.it is the same it dosent matter if you have a kid buy a one night stand or if your with the person you should be there for your kid no matter what the situation is. that child should be treated the same as your two .dosent matter if the mother is mad or not your jealous because he had a child with someone else that's why your trying to justify the father not been there for a kid he had with someone else .the child is never to blame no matter what .ye the condom broke is that what he told you someday he might walk away from your kids then Ull know what it feels like he should be there for his other child no matter what.and the statement you came out with about women shouldnt have kids If they can't look after the kid themselves you having laugh why should they have to look after the child themselves it toke two at the end of the day .what you trying to say because he wore a condom and it broke she didn't have aboration he shouldn't have be involved well he does .id say you had something to do with him not seeing the child again either

[deleted account]

I believe every situation is different and not all should be categorized as the same. One thing I will never understand is why women have children if they are not able to financially or mentally take care of a child on their own. My husband had a one night stand with a female he was friends with for a couple months. The condom broke so he bought her the plan b pill. According to her she took it but "it didn't work." So they talked about an abortion in which they both agreed on and he gave her the money for. Apparently later she decided to keep the baby and basically told him he was going to be a father. He told her he did not want a child with her because it was an accident and he did not love her it was just a one night thing. She told him they could have this child and will eventullay lead them to fall in love with each other because of a mutual child. He thought she was crazy and obsessed so he changed his number and avoided her after telling her he DID NOT WANT A CHILD WITH HER. So after the child was born she went around looking for him like a psycho asking ppl he knew and even found out where his family lived. By this time he and I were in a relationship so she started to contact me and send threatening messages and what not. We decided that he should just try and have a relationship with this baby and we did but of course she was giving us both hell and being very controlling and threatening.So he decided to stay away for good. We are now married and have two beautiful little girls in which he adores and has been such a great father! You cannot and should not force someone to do something they do not want to do. It's very sad for this kid because of the type of mother he has and it just makes no sense why you would put them in this type of situation. I do agree however that a man who planned to get his partner pregnant and then just leaves should be held completely responsible, by for a man who did not have a relationship with someone and tells you they do not want a child with you then it's completely your choice and decision to raise their child on your own.

Leonora - posted on 07/16/2017

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FOH. You can marry a man, bear his children, coddle him through his rough periods and they will still walk away and not look back. If its in a man to be a piece of shit then that's what he's going to be. If he's a good man he will take care of his children regardless of what the child's mother says. This is a f$ckboy ,weak man's excuse for not taking care of his children.

Abdelkaderdjehaf - posted on 01/12/2017

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Most father would rather be near their children and take care of them. Most women, would use the children as a weapon against the father and make the fathers life a nightmare. So, many would rather leave rather then carry on taking some sociopath woman bs for the rest of their life and keep their sanity.
Look how many of you complain that their ex partner is now happy with another woman and stuck around and had a child with her. Maybe you were the problem and made him leave. Men suffer in silence. They take it quietly and when it's too much they leave. Deal with it. You are a horrible person to leave with, other he would've stayed. Like so many single mother you thought that once you had a hild with a man, you had him by the balls. Guess what ? you didn't.
Modern women sense of entitlement and lake of self awareness will never seize to amaze me.

Onlyicandoitbetter - posted on 11/12/2016

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I think if a man gets into a serious relationship with a woman and plan a child together they must step up to the plate and be a responsible and supportive father to their child period! I do however think there are circumstances that cause pregnancy where a man should not be forced into fatherhood. A lot of sex happens randomly. Many purely sexual consentual relationships exists in our modern society. Having sexual intercourse for pleasure doesn't automatically assume that a woman or man wants to make a baby. We can do our best to prevent pregnancy, but every once in a while birth control fails and a pregnancy occurs under these circumstances. If a woman can choose to terminate the unwanted pregnancy that resulted from accidental fertilization and opt out of motherhood, then a man should have that same equal right to opt out of fatherhood... it's only fair. Making a decision to bring a child into this world is a heavy burden for any parent and women and men who find themselves in this position need to think really hard about how it will change their lives forever, both the good and the bad. Parenting is a lifetime job, so do your best to plan it the right way and consider the potential hardships if you choose to be an only parent.

Jim - posted on 12/31/2014

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I've had full custody of my two teens now for 6 years. Their mother has turned them against me because I am the only disciplinarian so of course they want to live with there mother. Things have gotten so bad that I have had enough. I packed 2 suit cases with clothes and took them to their mothers and have only seen them once over the holidays. I can no longer take the yelling, and I am not the one yelling, I am a pacifist. I've had the kids in family counseling for 2 years and all they keep saying is that I'm mean and they want to leave with their mom. They say "mean", because I don't let them watch shows like southpark or family guy, or use the computer without supervision, or I make them do at least one hour of homework a night. I'm mean because I ask my kids to take a shower because it's been almost a week. My kids have no respect for me because of their mom. I no longer feel any love from my kids and at this point there is no reason I should keep trying. My son is failing every class in school and is in trouble with the law. My daughters grades are slipping and she's loosing interest in sports. "If you love something, set it free!" And that my friends is what happens when you disrespect the other parent in your child's life. Your child loses. I will say this, for any man out there that loves their children, do the right thing and support them. For women getting support, use it for your children, not your cigarettes, pot, or beer. Go out and get a job like normal people and show your children responsibility. I love you kids and hope that someday that you will finally understand that I did my best. Love DAD

Li - posted on 11/27/2014

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When I was 15 I thought I met the love of my life, he was my first everything, he promised me the moon and stars. Ended up getting pregnant at 16, he left immediately. I saw him with another girl when I was 8 months pregnant and he didn't even try to hide her. I was broken. 16, pregnant by my first bf, humiliated, ashamed. He said it wasn't his. My son was born. I haven't seen my ex since 2007... It's ok I somehow, being a teen mom, became strong and decided to better myself for my boy. Today I am a nurse (LPN) working/in school trying to become an RN. No matter how heartless a man can be, the world doesn't end when he leaves. Sometimes it's a blessing. My boy was the best thing that ever happened to me, he made me better. For that I thank him, and I thank him for leaving too because if he didn't, I would probably not be a proud mom, a nurse, and recently engaged to my amazing fiancé :)
A mother's love is strong enough to fill any voids. My son is perfectly happy with just me, he calls me his best friend and he wouldn't change that for anything in the world. Be strong moms!

Maura - posted on 11/26/2014

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My father neglected my siblings and I from the time my mother was pregnant with me. he had an affair and moved out of state, leaving my brother and 4 sisters behind. My mother struggled for many years to provide for us. He did send child support, but it wasn't much. Now I'm an adult and have moved on. I have children of my own and I can't fathom ever being away from them, like he was with me. Now he's an old man and coming around. I've forgiven him, but I'm so angry when I'm around him and I don't know how to communicate with him! Does anyone have advice? I don't like the person I am when he's around

Erica - posted on 04/05/2014

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Should have been labeled "people" instead of fathers. There are dead beat mothers out there just like there are dead beat fathers. My mom had multiple affairs on my father before leaving us. I don't know who was hurt more. My father or us every time she put another man and her lusts before us. Please stop and realize that as human beings we shouldn't just try to avoid judging people by race, creed, nationality and so on but by sex as well. I know not ALL women are self centered like my mother was just as I know not ALL men are as nasty as the men you ladies chose to make a beautiful child with. I hope things end up well for everyone here and thanks for reading.

Foxtrotter - posted on 03/31/2014

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People can't be forced to love other people, and that includes dads being disinterested in their children. I was angry and hurt too, I could not understand how could he just turn his back just like that. Time passed and I came to realize that he was not emotionally invested and that he'd always be a stranger to my son.

And it's okay now, we are a happy one-parent family, and yes, things do get better with time :-)

The Real - posted on 03/30/2014

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i do pay child support almost 8 years, i never visit them and i will not. absolutely i dont have no feeling toward them, they live around 7 miles from my home. i must pay child support but i m free i want to live as father or not! i did married again, i m soooooo happy with my new wife.

Vicki - posted on 02/07/2014

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my little boy is 1 now, his sperm doner left us when my boy was 3 weeks old...this is after us having a 7 year relationship where i got pregnant and have a stillborn, we decided to try for a baby after we lost our first and finally after 2 years of trying we got jd. so after 3 weeks of jd being here he left, made my life unbearable from a distance and demanded things left right and centre where my son is concerned but yet wouldnt give him a penny or even a pack of nappies. i was struggling with post natal depression, bringing up a newborn alone and dealing with a break up as well as puttting up with HIS crap!!!
finally i grew a pair after he let my boy down many times and told him to stay away from us. he did for 3 months and then crawled back claiming he had changed and wanted desperately to b a proper daddy....yeah right!!! its only been 5 months and hes let him down time and time again, promised to buy him all sorts and never delivered...spent all his money on weed that he said he was gonna spend on jd and has even sunk as low as to tell me his bosses dad had died and therefore he couldnt make it over..... his bosses dad is alive and well, i found that out today after 3 months of thinking he had died.... wtf is wrong with these tossers who behave like this???? i hate my ex with a passion and hell will freeze over before i allow that lying using scum bag anywhere near my child. the last thing my son needs is that sort of role model n influence. i feel bad for you all coz i know how frustrating and hurtful it is when men dont care about there kids. hugs to u all

Javonti - posted on 10/29/2013

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I really understand what u are going through, but please forgive and let it go. Trust me he will definitely get his and then some. Forgiving is for u not him. Hope it gets better.

Kendall - posted on 10/27/2013

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Katherine I am going through the same thing as you. Hopefully one day we will get some kind of justice. I know my son is young but he is leaning fast that his father isn't around. We just have to keep telling our babies this is not the way things are supposed to be and hope they learn from the right role models and not the wrong ones.

Kim - posted on 10/20/2013

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These dead beat dads need to go to jail and work there and think about what they have done. especially when they drop their own children and expect us moms to do it all and not try for theyre kids and the kids future!! its the kids future these men are screwing up mentally and phisically! Justice needs to be done with all this! child support system is a joke to these men. they dont care. they can work for themselves and never have to pay a dime! not right for our beautiful children. And not fair to us women to struggle due to their actions for our hole life!

Katherine - posted on 09/08/2013

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I'm sorry your dealing with that, as a single mom I understand what your goin through, my daughter is 6yrs old and her father is consantly neglecting her, he treats her like a game plays w her when he's bored or feels like it, then dissapers for a while, he's a total shipwreck sinking slowly, but he lives 2min away and doesn't even bother to stop by, I'm always behind him calling or texting him reminding him he has a child and should call her or see her or that she misses him, but all he does is say he will call her n never does, this has been a never ending cycle the past 5yrs n my child now cries, gets angry and asks me question regarding him and its hard to explain to a child why there father doesn't care or neglects them... He pays child support not by choice they garnishing his checks because he owes me $4,350. He hates it that they garnish it he even calls me at times and says "thanks bc of CS I have no money" smh I'm starting to hate him bc of what he's doing to my daughter, I'm debating if keeping him away for good is best? Bc I feel like its my fault she's hurting now, bc I've allowed him to come in and out of her life when he feels....:/. I don't understand why he does this to her bc she loves him so much and in return he shows her nothing....

Linda - posted on 09/03/2013

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The father of my baby pays maintanance but has not even once asked how the child is doing. When I send him pictures of the baby he will never even say a word, I am so confused and hurt by his actions. It takes more than money to love a child in my books. Maybe ladies you can help me understand his actions

Deborah - posted on 12/11/2012

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I really can't offer any insight as my daughter's father is the same. He won't talk to her or see her far less send any money for her unless someone does it for him for example, I would have to call him andput her on the phone for him to talk with her. I have been behind him to put his name on her birth certificate for over 6yrs and still no dice. He expecs me to be alling him and wasking him for things apparently for his own ego boost/ manly pride/ whatever he thinks he gets from it. If I don't ask, he won't give. He has two other children after my daughter and I honestly think their mother is behind him way more than I am/ever hav been. I can't make him do what he doesn't want to and I'm not going to waste any of my time and energy behind him. It can be overwhelming at times but we'll make it, with or without him. So will yo and your son, don't let his father become your focus, he isn't worth it.

Jess - posted on 11/27/2012

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@Tiffany Hightower I see its been two years(almost 3) How are things going for you now?

Betty - posted on 09/26/2012

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I totally understand my daughter is 19 and she has been through a lot her father goes and travels with his girlfriend and her son and right now we are struggling and he can care less I keep telling her that in life there is karma and the way I see it what goes around comes around.

Nikki - posted on 12/01/2010

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I think I posted to this months ago but my son's father is still absent after 3 years and our son is now 4 so I will never understand it . Never. It is so sad and these men truly do not know what they are doing to their children by being absent. I listened to a sermon by a local preacher that was awesome and he said a father's silence is worse than anything a father can do . He said the prisons are full of men whom were abandoned by their fathers and it scares me to death. You can look up the sermon on you tube, it's by CHip Henderson at pinelake church and it's titled "don't let your daddy wound hurt you" , it really helped me alot and I sent it to my son's father . GOd Bless

Brittany - posted on 06/22/2010

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ive been a single mom ever since i got pregnant. im 17 years old with a 2 year old baby girl. her daddy says that he doesnt want anything to do with her. i just dont see how he can say that... she is apart of him and hes just leaving her behind.......

Tiffany - posted on 06/22/2010

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I totally understand...Im 11 weeks pregnant and my childs father basically denies my child. He never calls to see how I am doing or even if the doctor said everything was okay with the baby. His mom tried to get us to talk to one another saying to do it for the sake of the baby. I talked, he on the other hand said not one word when it was his turn to speak. His mom then began to state how her son would be there for our child...blah blah, blah..(your son is sitting 3 feet away from me and he can't tell me that...sure). I just let it all go cuz he isnt worth it at all and I do not want my child around somebody like that. Smh, his own dad did him the same way...a deadbeat and now hes carrying it on by doing it to his own child. All I know is that BS stops here and me and my sunshine will be just fine without him. God has us in his hands, as he has everyone else. Keep your head up, they may seem like they are getting away with it, but they will not in the long run for doing that to their own children.

Raina - posted on 06/22/2010

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I have 2 boys of my own, and the Father has 5 altogether he is paying for all 5 now :) file for child support!

Jovan - posted on 06/03/2010

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My lil princess is 11 months.. Shell be 1 in june and her father hasnt seen her once nor paid me a dime or even bought pampers! It kills me! Im like how can you not see your daughter and go day to day as if she was never born! But he has a brand new 2009 truck and he goes and spends tons of money on HIM! But he dont even think about her! I love my baby so much and i cant go an hour without seeing her! How can he go this long without ever calling her or anything!!

[deleted account]

I completely understand!! My baby's dad pics him up from daycare once or twice a week for a couple hours when its convenient, doesn't pay child support, and doesn't help with really anything else, but he has time to go to concerts, birthday parties, the bar, and he's had at least 4 girlfriends since I told him I was pregnant. Whatever. Sucks, but I still wouldn't trade my baby for anything.

Dawn - posted on 06/03/2010

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i know what you mean my sons dad thinks he is the best dad and he isn't he has a 8 year old son who he hasn't seen since he was 2 and another one who is 4 that he hasn't seen since he was 2 and he thinks he should get to see my son whenever he wants an he wasn't there when my son needed him the most

Shonna - posted on 06/02/2010

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Ooh my word, sum men dont give a rats ass bout their childrens!! Sum father can just get up & go but us mothers dont really have an opinion, we all are 24-7days & 365 days mommies! We provide shelter,clothing on their backs & keep food in their tummies!!

Erica - posted on 06/02/2010

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I don't know which is worse someone who is not there at all or someone who is in and out? My sons father gives me $100 a month and I have to ask him for it every month. He lives in NY and comes to Cali to visit but will hang out with his friends, sleep and eat up all my food and spends little time with his kid. Oh I forgot the party he insists my son have every year for his b-day when we are struggling? WTF I told him I was not having a party this year and he said he would pay for it and do it he had his dad pay for the party that cost $500, while I am trying to keep my house out of forclousure. I wish I only had to pay for fun. It is hard not to be bitter I pray to keep forgiviness in my heart. I do want my son to have parties but not if we cannot afford them. What bothers me the most is that he things he is the best dad ever!!!!

Dawn - posted on 06/02/2010

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i have file for support and he isn't paying but he is in jail now for a long time and i have moved on thanks for the advice

THERESA - posted on 06/01/2010

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well i have 3 boys 2 boys dad in prison.3rd child father is here in town.he has not talked to him in 3 years.not to mention i live inthe family home so u cant say u didnt know where he is..but u know the father will have to answer to his son for all these years where the hell have u been?i am mom and dad and enjoy everyday of being a single mom...

Athena - posted on 06/01/2010

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it takes more that donating sperm to be a father. A father is a man who is there always, 100% of the time with their child. Sue him for child support for YOUR CHILD and move on. You can be mom and dad for your child.

Kayla - posted on 06/01/2010

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i kno how that feels. my babydaddy has 4 other kids besdes mine n he dnt see any of them or pay childsupposrt to anyone either. it makes me so mad. n i like how he says that hes gunna be sending all his kids money starting this month but i kno for a fac that, that wont be happening and yea ugh

Crystal - posted on 06/01/2010

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Its ok to vent I do the same thing all of the time I have been single since I found out I was pregnant also my babys father did everything in his power to convince me to have an abortion but I wouldn't have it so I decided to do it alone. After all was said and done I found out the whole time that we were together he was dating another girl at the same time who harassed me through my whole pregnancy. Now that my baby boy is here and is 6 months old already I couldnt imagine my life without him although it is hard to be a single mom we are women which means we can do anything just stay strong and life will work out someday. My BD has never met his son and denies that he is his how anyone could deny someone so beautiful is beyond me

Joy - posted on 06/01/2010

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Lisa- Thats amazing he takes the time to look at the pictures! Thats something at least. More than a lot of these kids get.

Joy - posted on 06/01/2010

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it really hurts when they abandon the kids they have with us and take care of kids they have with others in the future. Its GOOD they are taking care of the kid. Its not the kids fault. But it hurts because you wonder to yourself why we/our baby wasnt worth it. What makes that girl/ their baby worth it and us not worth it.

Its taken me years to realize that their actions have nothing to do with us. But yeah it hurt for years.

Joy - posted on 06/01/2010

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My exhusband posts on his myspace that he's a proud parent but he hasnt called to see if my oldest two are alive or dead in over 6 years.

My current husband , who raised my oldest two since they were 3 & 1, left and is pretending like the four of us (me, two eldest, and baby) dont exist. He listed the baby on his facebook but not the elder two and hes the only daddy they know. I dont understand how men can do this either. Its disgusting. Selfish and disgusting.

Im glad I have a boy. I am raising him to be a better man than my husbands have turned out to be.

Melissa - posted on 05/31/2010

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i say the same thing its almost as if they don't care about nothing but themselves i understand what you are going through i have to sometimes work 13 hour shifts and when i come home shes sleep and when i leave shes sleep but in due time it will be all over and he will be suffering...so don't worry because god takes care of all his children including him and u have to reap what you sew.........love and blessing and take care

Shelby - posted on 05/31/2010

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I understand. I don't think it's right that the father of my child gets to go out with any girl he wants and pretend that our baby doesn't exist, while I sit here pregnant with his child. I just have to remind myself that I won't have to live regretfully, because he will be the one that has to remember every day, no matter how hard he tries to hide it, that he does have a child out there. Plus, you get to be there for everything with your baby. I don't see this as a punishment, I see this as a blessing. I will be able to raise my child the way I want it to be raised, instead of the unhealthy way it's father was raised in. Honestly, I think you are better without the father, if he's going to act like that.

Dawn - posted on 05/28/2010

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look my kids dad said it loud and clear he didn't want nothing to do with my son. and then he changed his mind. i had every right to be the way i am with him considering one min he wants his kid then the next he don't so i will not blame myself for him not being around cause he could've have seenhim whenever but i'm not goin to let him have him and have him around a bunch of different females either

Shawni - posted on 05/28/2010

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i know its ridiculous ent it? my sons father wont get a job and pay for his child and he only sees him once a month he never even texts me to ask how his own son is!? i text him the other day saying nathans been a bit ill with bad tummy pains and i took him to the doctors and he cant even be fucked to reply!! it does my head in! my sons the most important thing in my life and his dad doesnt even care

Charlena - posted on 05/27/2010

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I use to think like you , thinking with my heart instead of my mind , technically we don't know what our kids fathers are thinking because we arent them , we are women yes, but unfortunately god didnt give us the ability to read minds . I use to get so mad that my child father would go weeks without calling because i couldnt go 1 min without seeing my child . Sometimes we are the reason they don't come around the kids , with the yelling about child support , not seeing their child enough etc nobody wants to deal with that , I also notice a lot of women including myself try to run the fathers life and use the kid to do it . Normally when a couple breaks up they go their separate ways but when a baby comes in the equation it just makes things that much more complicated , stop blaming the men all the time, sometimes its us and our actions that prevents them from seeing their kids and you cant expect them to sit around and cry all day or call your cell phone asking to see their kids , he could be thinking about his child 24/7 but how would you know that ? and why would he even tell you ? grow up and keep it civil for your child and i bet that he would come around more , unless he physically tells you he wants nothing to do with your son then you have nothing to worry about . goodluck momma !

Dawn - posted on 05/27/2010

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thanks i love that little more than life itself. i might be struggling but i make sure he has food and everything he needs. i'm going to be the one he is goin to be proud of

Mogire - posted on 05/27/2010

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sorry dear, my sons father stays less than 40km from us but never calls or visits to see his, only at his convenience then after like 30 minutes he is on his way to his so call busy schedule, recently got a baby gal and its worse now...but am greatful he still pays our rent. men are heartless and never trully have any attachment with their kids....you are not alon in this planet just keep loving the little angel ang think of how you will make him shine in life

Natasha - posted on 05/26/2010

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I so feel all your pains................................The relationship between me and my baby's father was terrible...........................My daughter is 3 months old he hasn't even taken the time to come and see her but yet still he wants the child's birth certificate.............I mean he doesn't even know how my little girl eats, how she wears cloths, but yet still he wants birth certification. He hasn't even supported us..............................Man its such a lost gold

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