How can I get my little boy to listen? I get so tired of yelling and I dont want to have to spank him all the time... He just wont listen... HELP

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Tracey - posted on 11/06/2008

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The next time he won't listen or does anything else wrong make him sit down with you somewhere quiet with NO toys and talk about what he has done wrong and why he is doing it. Don't get mad or angry!! Ask him to tell you what he did wrong, why he did it, what he's going to do to fix it, and what his punishment should be. I have done this with my son since he was about four ( he's now 8) and he considers it to be more of a punishment than yelling or grounding because he's forced to face up to what he's done. Also, explain to him calmly how it made you feel when he did this, most kids don't like to disappoint mom or dad (if he's around) and it gets them to start considering other peoples feelings.

Lori - posted on 11/04/2008

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what are the consequence when he doesn't listen......always needs to be consequences......or they won't listen......if they're really little distraction works well too.....spanking does not usually work....

Marie - posted on 11/04/2008

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It's always helpful to divert your child onto something more constructive or appropriate. Remaining calm i feel is essential and remove yourself from the situation(if it is safe to do so) before ever using violence. Take some deep breaths! Get down on there level and firmly request what you would like them to do instead. It is so important to help our little ones manage there emotions by being able to control our own. Not easy!

Toddler Taming is an excellent resource book.

Having a routine helps but then i'm only just starting out i guess, my Son is 20month old, i've yelled a couple of times but found it upset me more than anything else and probably only frieghtned him. Now i take a deep breath, remain in control of my emotions and help him to regain control of his; and it works a treat.

I really don't think kids respong well to any form of physical intervention.

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It's a fact that boys do not hear as well as girls. So sometimes he just may not hear you when you are talking to him, until you are yelling. I found with my son that by making sure I had eye contact really helped.

Shelly - posted on 11/04/2008

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This is what I have found on the yelling issue. Don't! If there is yelling all the time, eventually they stop listening. It's almost like background music that eventually fades over time. When my daughter was younger, I found myself doing the same thing. One day I realized that the problem was me. I was not MAKING her listen to me. I would gie three or four chances to do what I asked and still....the yelling began. The key here is to make them listen the first time and always have follow through. Remain calm while doing this. If the situation requires you to stand next to them for three hours and keep them on task, then do it. I know that sometimes it's easier for us to walk away and not deal, but that only makes it worse. My breaking point was when I realized that my daughter listened to my friend the first time she spoke and not me. I thought, "Heck NO!" My persistance with her and good follow through has made our time together 1000% better. No when I yell, she surely listens. Thankfully it's not that often anymore.

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