how can i stop feeling guilt about being a single mom?

Erica - posted on 04/05/2012 ( 78 moms have responded )

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how can i stop feeling guilt about being a single mom?

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Faith - posted on 09/09/2012

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Erica, I had a questions like yours posed to me recently and it got me to really stop and reflect on my own "single parent" status. First off, you are not a "single parent", YOU ARE A PARENT. Second, the guilt inflicted tends to be culturally driven and hypocritically assigned.



"Single parent" status is derived from all sorts of circumstances.... The result is the same: Child(ren) with one parent regardless of the how. And people splitting hairs over the "how" (divorced, widowed, never-married) do so for their own ego benefit and no more. To a child with one parent, the how doesn't matter to them until they LEARN it matters to YOU. Would be it be ideal to have a traditional two-parent paradigm where both parents were able to provide healthy emotionally, physically, and mentally for their child(ren)? Yes. Burdens, trials, challenges, hurdles, are always lighter when carried as a team (like with you and God). Are all two parent families represent this? NO! NO! NO!



Blessings to ANY structure or model of family whose PRIMARY practice is to TAKE CARE OF THEIR CHILD.



I get so sick of constantly hearing the denigrations made about one-parent families as if doing it alone equals not performing your duty as a parent. Is it tough sometimes? YES. Is it challenging to be the sole provider? YES. Are there parents that do it badly? YES. Would it lighten the load to have a partner? YES. Are any of these unique to a "single parent"? NO!



And furthermore, those that make constant commentary about it reflect more upon who they are as people than any blind negative attribute they attempt to assign to you. Children are children, growing up in homes of love, respect, protection, compassion, values, and dignity. To make these constant barrage of careless, thoughtless commentary is an assault on the children who depend on these very parents for their care, love, and support. The thing to remember is that ONE PARENT CHOSE TO FULFILL THEIR ROLE AND RESPONSIBILITY AS AN ACTIVE PARENT! Don't forget it or dismiss it. Otherwise, the children would be a ward of the state if both "donors" abdicated their role and responsibility as parents. And what about those children. All this obsession over single vs married, vs this or that... What about the child(ren) abandoned,neglected, or loss by death parted from their parents.... What does all this negative commentary do to fuel, uplift, and support them? Absolutely nothing.



People are so consumed with trying to be "better off" than others that they focus their energy in tearing down instead of building up. How does any of this negative commentary HELP any child. For me personally, my daughter has been exposed to families structures that include only a grandparent as sole guardian, "single parent", married, aunt as sole guardian, and she's seen the ideal home life and not so ideal home life in each of those structures. I know you couldn't pay me to be a child in some of the married homes I've encountered over my lifetime.



So the next time someone tries to make you feel bad about you doing the Godly, admirable, and blessed role of being a good parent just because there is only one of you, remember, that God makes no mistakes. And anyone playing the exclusion game, trying to make you feel bad for doing the right thing, gossiping, or thumbing down their noses at you has to answer to the same higher power you do, and they have their own houses to get in order.



Having a two parent home doesn't inherently make you better parents. If it did, there would be no incest, molestation, serial killers, rapists, or other violent offenders because statistically, these sick individuals come from two-parent homes and "well adjusted" families.



Stop living according to labels and live for the greater good of your child. Sorry to introduce the cliche, but it aptly applies: Those who matter, don't mind; And those that mind, don't matter. People are people, just like you and me, each with their own crosses to bear and skeletons buried. Keep in mind some of the very ones judging are ones that aborted their children for sake of appearances and didn't have the integrity, courage, or strength to be accountable and responsible to and for their actions.



God bless you for standing up and doing the right thing and being the best possible parent you can be for your child(ren). The only guilt you should carry is the guilt of NOT doing the right thing when you know better for your family. Forgive yourself for your marital status and move on! Teach your child to choose wisely and be prepared.



Love and blessing to you and your family.

Jennifer - posted on 04/18/2012

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Erica - I am a single mom too and I have come to realize whether you are single or a duo, you never stop feeling guilty. You will always feel guilty that you did something wrong, you lost your patience, you took a toy away, you sent them to bed with out dinner, you said no more drinks, you put them on the potty. You feel guilty because you are human and you realize the gavity of having someone elses life in your hands. You realize the importance of what you are doing. I worry about those who say they never feel guilty. I wonder if they realize how important what they are doing is. I feel that guilt makes me a better parent. Keeps me in check. Makes me reflect. If I feel guilty about something I sit and think about why I feel that way. Could I have reacted differently? Could I have done something a different way? I suggest you take some personal time to find out why you really feel guilty. Figure out is it based on what society makes you feel or based on something you actually did? My child doesnt have a father and now I feel guilty/bad because he has hit an age where he wants to reach out and bond with a male figure. But I know that I have done nothing wrong and I just do my best to provide for him. I find male friends who are willing to be a part of his life. I rely on family to be a part of his life and I just remember that I love him and I am doing my best. So in closing, feel guilty but make sure you are feeling guilty about the right things. If you dont think you should feel guilty about something than work on making yourself feel better about those things. I wish you the best of luck.

Christine - posted on 04/17/2012

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My daughter's father wanted me to put her up for adoption; said he wouldn't stay if I kept her and that it was better for her to be raised by two people financially stable and married, than for me as a single mom. I kicked him to the curb, pursued child support, and now I live happily a single mom with my three yr old angel. I'm so glad I never listened to him and that she will never feel rejection because her mommy didn't want her; she knows I will always be here for her. Sometimes, I feel a little bad because she wants a daddy like other kids, but she has her mommy, uncles, friends, etc.. and there's always a possible relationship hiding in the future. Your little one is a gift meant for you and it will all work out; sometimes it just takes a little time.

Sweetgirlsmama - posted on 07/03/2012

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Don't. It's not your fault,men are jerks. Look at is as an opportunity to be both parents and have twice the enjoyment with your baby! My husband recently left me and our special needs baby and I have come to see tha I don't need him. You should never feel guilt, only empowerment. You are it to that baby, that's really special!

Dawn - posted on 05/08/2012

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give yourself a pat on the back and say - im a great mum!!
dont forget that, hold your head up high and be proud.. we are strong independant women.xxx

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Kristin - posted on 07/15/2012

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Being a single mother is tough, as far as guilt goes, please try to look ahead. Be proud of your gift from God. You are a role model, and your child loves you and wants nothing more than to make you happy. Ok, they cry when they're frustrated. Just stay calm and try to figure out what the child wants. Never feel guilty for being a single mother. Personally, I think it's tougher to be a single mom, which makes you stronger.

Dawda - posted on 07/14/2012

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hey,
my name is dawda,am Gambian nationality,28yrs of age,i was rise by a single mom,so i know how it feel about.i thank my mum for rising up to this standard,through lucky ,got father when i around 19yrs old,love as his own child,love that i have never expect in my love,so i feel the same way to single mum trying to rise one or two of their own.
am interested in making friendship and sharing ideas,coz i know how it fell for the mothers.anyone one interested you can mail me at(dawda_jaiteh@hotmail.com)we will really get in touch.
take care,
dawda

Jeana - posted on 07/09/2012

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I am not a professional background to suggest what u should do. But as a friend, i'll tell you some.
Everyone are unique, none of them similar. You may whether could wipe that feeling out of you or not.
The question is, what makes you guilty? Its all about what you did so your children born without father or you feel guilt to your children because he/she will find a father?

If the first condition is the cause, so you have to stop it, have a prayer and focus to your child.

If the second condition is the cause, i think you need to find a man who fits to both you and your child.

Jenn - posted on 07/08/2012

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I have been going through this feeling past few months. I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and I'm currently 8 months pregnant with the same father of my first child. I know that I made the right decision to keep their father away as he is abusive/drug problems. I just feel so guilty for letting myself become pregnant again by him. I feel I should have known better to stay away earlier and feel so guilty about raising not one but two children now on my own. I love them and they deserve the best I just wish they had a father like they deserved. I know better now to not fall back into him though. I feel a bit of anxiety this pregnancy because I constantly think that this is my last pregnancy and I will never get to experience being pregnant with a loving and caring man by my side. ) :

Kathy - posted on 07/04/2012

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Thank you for sharing that was very encouraging. I am also going through the same situation hate that my son has to bounce from house to house but I am trying my best to be mom and dad while he is with me.

Kathy - posted on 07/04/2012

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I totally understand where you coming from Erica with that thought of what could have been but it's not... I also use to think of that and felt guilt but I started focusing more on the love my child has for me and I have for him and that all I truly need to make me happy is my son and family. Try to surround yourself with ppl who love you and that have been supportive and remember that your child/children need you more than ever to be strog, loving, and happy!!! yes some days are harder than others and it's ok to cry and let it out, I do. But then I think of how I need to be strong for my son.

Giselle - posted on 07/03/2012

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I'm a single mom and I don't feel guilty in any way what so ever because I realized that he is not the one for me and he is not trustworthy enough to be around my child. If you love your child and take care of him/her there's no reason to feel guilty.

If you ever need a place to vent and speak to other mothers that have the same issues as yourself check out my new FB page I made for single mothers

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Single-Mothers-United/401318573247625

Terralyn - posted on 06/16/2012

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If you are in the sitution i was in I would say stop listening to people who are fond of telling you its your fault you kid is growing up without a dad or telling you every kid needs a dad. I honestly believe my children are more rounded individuals and are more secure in themselves as individuals than they would have been if i stayed with their dad. Sometimes its better to be a single parent but there are all kinds of people out there who want to make you feel guilty. I know its easier said than done but don't let them.

Julia - posted on 06/05/2012

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I have an ex partner who at first saw my little boy for the first month ( he left me 6 weeks before I was due to give birth) but it all became so stressful and emotional for me and seeing him made things 3 times as hard, especially when he demands to see our 6 week old baby on his own! ihad offered lone contact but at my property and on my terms but wasnt having any of it, just wanted to whisk him away and show him off like a trophy.. since 14th feb i have had no contact at all from him, not even an email or text to see how our baby boy is.. am i better of without him in mine and my boys life, hes obviously not concerned is he, or he would of made more of an effort to see his son..

Julia - posted on 06/05/2012

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Mindy, they are beautioful and wise words, and I so want to listen and wise up to these words, as all my self confidence, self belief and my own personality has been taken from me because of my ex and the relationship, and due to the fact im still in lov e with someone who left me when i was 6 weeks to giving birth... the pains still there.. i guess every day gets easier, just hard to see it.. I will keep these words as a constant reminder of what i should be doing.. just me and my boy now... xxx

Carla - posted on 06/03/2012

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YOU NEED TO FEEL PROUD!!!! NOT GUILTY!!!! YOU ARE A MOM!!!! YOU NEED TO CELEBRATE!!!!

StrongerMe - posted on 05/29/2012

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It comes and goes. Sometimes I feel so bad that my kids have to bounce back and forth between two houses. And their lives are so different at each house. I try, however, to focus on what I can do on my own. I have created traditions and been both mother and father.
Guilt still creeps in. Sometimes I feel like I'm failing. Single parenting is hard. No one is there to bounce ideas off of or to back you up. But deep down, I know that my accomplishments outweigh my failures. This isn't the life that I chose, but dangit, I'm gonna make the best of it!

[deleted account]

Hi my name is Mindy im 21 and a single mom of 2 babies. My advice to you is stop thinking about the past learn from your mistakes and you'll grow from it to become a better person. Concentrate on yourself and your baby thats it! We will heal from this and once we heal and value our selfs we can meet someone new who can cherish us

Karmen - posted on 05/28/2012

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I have to say, it's normal to feel guilty sometimes. Probably cause you know what its like to have a parent who didn't want to be with you. I know, my dad didn't want me and I watched my mother struggle for years as a single mom while I would cry all the time about my dad. And now I'm a single parent too. You might be afraid of your child feeling the same way you did. But what I think about each and everytime I feel guilty is my children will see that mommy is strong and will never leave like daddy did. I don't know what kind of relationship you had with your parents or with your child's father, but I also think about how I felt about my mother then and now. How I saw her as a strong, independent woman who worked her butt off to make sure we had everything we needed and more without child support and minimal help from family. Hang in there. We all feel guilty sometimes. Its normal. Thats what makes you a good mom.

Julia - posted on 05/27/2012

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I have an ex partner who at first saw my little boy for the first month ( he left me 6 weeks before I was due to give birth) but it all became so stressful and emotional for me and seeing him made things 3 times as hard, especially when he demands to see our 6 week old baby on his own! ihad offered lone contact but at my property and on my terms but wasnt having any of it, just wanted to whisk him away and show him off like a trophy.. since 14th feb i have had no contact at all from him, not even an email or text to see how our baby boy is.. am i better of without him in mine and my boys life, hes obviously not concerned is he, or he would of made more of an effort to see his son..

Kellyanne - posted on 05/27/2012

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I agree with Julie D, I love being a single mom, as it gives me more time to spend with my sweet children

Deaunna - posted on 05/25/2012

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Joanna - posted on 05/23/2012

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I am also a single mom - my son is now 12. I understand your feelings, but as long as you are doing your best... you shouldn't feel guilty! However, if your child's father is half-decent & wants to spend time with your child, I would encourage you to let him. It is important for your child to have a relationship with both of his parents. Also, I was told by a minister (who was raised by a single mom) that it is very important that you not talk bad about the other parent to your child. It isn't easy being a single mom, but God is there to help! Get connected with a local church - there is always lots of support & encouragement there. God bless you!

Mogire - posted on 05/11/2012

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look at the kid(s), do you love them? Were you happy in the relationship?Do you meet your financial obligations? Then dear stop killing yourself your kids will eventually understand that you wanted the best for them.

If its the community let then live their Lives who said they had the best? Appreciate what you have and learn to share whenever you are down and you will realize ur so much better than others. Look at a couple that is barren, who is better?

Stella - posted on 05/08/2012

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I'm a single mom. I too struggled with the guilt of raising my son alone. I don't know what your religious views are, but, I am a Christian. I realized that I am not raising him alone. There is a male figure in my house. His name is Jesus.

[deleted account]

I normally don't feel guilty that my girls only have one parent and that their Dad really doesn't factor in their lives. I know that I am doing a good job at being a parent, as when I go to parents evenings, the teachers have nothing but praise for my girls, they are all hard working. The teachers have only made a few pointers that they would like my girls to improve on, but nothing drastic.

So feel guilty? No, I'm doing just as good a job as some other families with two parents in the household/children's lives. Yes I know that I can't do all the things that two parent families, but on the other hand, My girls do things that maybe other families don't do.

Lalala - posted on 05/04/2012

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Ugh, I think I know what you mean. I think being the opperative word. Being a single mom you can never do anything right. Everything you do is a huge sacrafice either for you or for your child/children. Our children have a harder road and we constantly have to make up for that, even letting go on some discipline because they always have it hard. If you discipline them, you feel extremely guilty. I feel guilty every single day and I ask myself the same question because it needs to stop. I cant go on living in such guilt like this every single day of my life being constantly reminded of things that are out of my control. I feel you honey.

Luvmia - posted on 04/28/2012

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Erica, please try not to feel guilty. If need be, go to counseling so you can deal with these emotions. In the meantime, celebrate your little adorable one and yourself for being a good mom.

Sherry - posted on 04/26/2012

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I have never felt guilty about being a single mother. I am content with the drama-free lifestyle. My daughter has never met the sperm donor, so she doesn't know any different. I have chosen to not date for multiple reasons. One of them is to show her that she does not need a man in her life to make her life happy or complete. She can be the only person to do that.

Stephanie - posted on 04/26/2012

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My son is sixteen and he is stilling with it, I think that we have a stabke relationship in the church that has helped alot..I have some wonderful girlfriends with great husbands who have stepped up, all I know is they will all stand before the lord for their actions...so all I can do is pray!

Stephanie - posted on 04/26/2012

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My son is sixteen and he is stilling with it, I think that we have a stabke relationship in the church that has helped alot..I have some wonderful girlfriends with great husbands who have stepped up, all I know is they will all stand before the lord for their actions...so all I can do is pray!

Francine - posted on 04/26/2012

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I am a single mom and I never once regretted or felt guilty about getting rid of my daughter's father. It was something that needed to be done for our safety. You need to stop feeling like your child will miss out on something. The love you give your child is enough for two parents. The only thing I am feeling guilty about is about my job situation and that I'm not able to collect unemployment. I do my best to support my daughter. I do lots of activities with her, she is involved in Girl Scouts (Daisy's) and she is playing tball. No matter how frustrating it is and difficult just remember that your not alone and if you need it ask your family for help.

Chrissyomari - posted on 04/21/2012

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Stephanie: I usually try to stay positive, but he IS a total piece of crap. He and my child's father must be soulmates. lol!!! I know there are two sides to every story, but I can imagine what the reasoning could be and it's sad that he actually has a wife who is as trifling as him.



How long did it take your son to move on? How old was he?

Chrissyomari - posted on 04/21/2012

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Mary- :( Not looking forward to it. I'm going to say a special prayer for you and everyone else in that situation (RIGHT NOW).



I have male friends who told me they acted out as teens because of thier dad's absence. One, who is VERY successful now, told me that he thinks his dad "cost" him his college education because he sort of took his mom's "love" for granted, but he felt like if his dad didn't care, so why should he.



I'm a "book" mom, so I've been reading about it alot. I just hope that me and his other role models can be "enough" to keep him on the right path.

Tammi - posted on 04/20/2012

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Mary I feel like you are speaking right from my mind. I have been single her entire life with the exception of a very short period and I never wanted to be one of those moms who has a different boyfriend all the time. It is a scary world out there for our daughters and I just pray that my daughter can see strength in me that I don't always feel I have, by not having a husband. Alot of her friends are into boys right now and she doesn't really seem to be so I am hoping that will last a little while longer. Take care and be strong.

Mary - posted on 04/20/2012

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Thank you Tammi! I just try to be there for her and I remind her how much she is loved by all of our family and friends. I have been single for 6 years now, by choice and I pray that she will realize she does not need a man to be happy or whole. I see her friends mothers who always have to have a boyfriend and I just think it's wrong, guys in and out of their children's lives, no not for me. When I'm ready I will find someone but he will not meet my kids until I know he's the one! No one can take the place of her Biological father and I wouldn't want that anyway but I really hope she doesn't become"Male Dependant"...

Stephanie - posted on 04/20/2012

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Ladies let me warn you be very careful about how you let your child deal with the rejection my son reached out to his father and sent him a email he didnt answer...He found him on FB and he BLOCKED him and so did his wife...I told my son that he doesnt deserve you in his life, he is a piece of crap and is that the kinda person he wants to be around him, needless to say he (son) was devasted..but he moved on and NOW he knows....

Tammi - posted on 04/20/2012

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Mary F - I worry about that with my 12 yr. old daughter. She has never had contact with her bio-dad and as of right now she doesn't ask about him. I am always so worried that she will go looking for love and I have been praying for years that I would find a wonderful husband to have as a great role model for my daughter, but so far no luck. It is super hard and frustrating and stressful. Hang on!

Mary - posted on 04/20/2012

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Chrissyomari, I am going through the part where my 14 year old daughter feels abandoned by her father! Never in a million years did we ever think he wouldn't be involved with her! I did everything I could to keep him involved, sent him invitations to her birthday parties, sent him cards on his b-day and holidays etc. He came to her 1st and 9th birthdays, that's it! Recently they started texting each other and it seemed ok until I would hear her crying at night. She asked him why he hasn't been involved and if he would like to try seeing her for lunch or something, he never answered her. That's how he is, can never be serious and totally avoids it, everything is a joke to him! It breaks my heart because I know they would get along so well, she is sooo much like him but I can only be here for her, I can't fix everything but how I wish I could fix this! You have a few years before you have to deal with this, I wish you luck cuz it really sucks!

Chrissyomari - posted on 04/20/2012

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I don't have an answer for you. Just what works sometimes for me. First, I think you clearly made some great decisions. 1) To keep your child 2) to get that man out of your life.



I feel guilty too sometimes mostly because I know how important it is for a boy to have a male role model/relationship with his dad, but I know I made the right choice in having my son. There is no way that that wonderful smile was not meant to be in this world. My child's father also wanted me to have an abortion.



My guilt is helped a little by the fact that I KNOW that my son (at least in these formative years) is better off without his father around. He's one and he's never seen me yell or heard anyone argue and he's completely surrounded by people who love him and were/are excited about him coming into the world.



Who knows what energy his biological father would have put out there? He saw him solely as a burden and never as the blessing that he is. So, when I look at him smile and giggle and I vow that I will give him the best life I possibly can, it makes me feel less guilty about him not having a dad around.



I don't know if its guilt, but I also have a small fear that my son will feel like he was unwanted or abandoned because of his father's choice not to be in his life. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Marlo - posted on 04/20/2012

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NEVER feel guilty about trying to give a better life for your child. If YOU weren't happy in the relationship and he beat you that's more than enough reason to leave his )#$..... It's better for your child to be a happy mom than a miserable one. Look at your child like they're the light in your life and the reason to push harder... EVERYTHING happens for a reason and sometimes in the strangest ways..

Mary - posted on 04/20/2012

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Why would you feel guilty? You should be proud of yourself for doing the most important work any of us could ever do-- that of raising our children and our future.

SHANNON - posted on 04/19/2012

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honey! the only answer to that is to just simply stop.. at least as much as you can .I am married .and marrired women feel guilty too about many things when it comes to parenting.I think as moms, single or married its just in our nature,its how were built.We are worriers and caretakers.I bet you are an awesome single mom,because you are worried about it .It shows you care.

SHANNON - posted on 04/19/2012

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honey! the only answer to that is to just simply stop.. at least as much as you can .I am married .and marrired women feel guilty too about many things when it comes to parenting.I think as moms, single or married its just in our nature,its how were built.We are worriers and caretakers.I bet you are an awesome single mom,because you are worried about it .It shows you care.

Tammi - posted on 04/18/2012

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Jennifer S - Thank you for your words of wisdom. You gave me a new way to look at my guilt. I think you are right that it is normal to feel that way.

Loree - posted on 04/18/2012

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I have an eleven year old who is now with her dad after almost nine years of seeing him sometimes. I never felt guilty I was only sad when she would see other kids with their dads but that was neither her fault or mine. He made the choice to be absent, but now I think he feels guilty. Also again for some random reason Im pregnant and this time Im not married and the guy really doesn't want kids. But that's not my problem I just think of famous athletes whose dads show up when they become somebody and they get the boot by their kid. Absent dad is not your problem. Better for a kid to be loved and happy with one parent than miserable with two.

Julie - posted on 04/18/2012

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There should be no guilt when you know they are loved, clothed, fed, taught, played with daily, and cherished. Your guilt may be a missed read feelings of being overwhelmed, exhausted, and the everyday worries of am I doing it right, am I giving them enough of my limited time, and yes feeling alone on a road that has no end due to limited self time. We sleep get everybobdy ready, work, cook, clean, play, wash them up, feed them again, cuddle while watching disney ch, read to them, and that last hug and kiss good night with that sleepy smile makes for no guilt. But helps make you forget how tired you really are, so in the morning you can restart you new day. My push is that my ex will never be able to take any of this away from me. My girls are happy, cared for, and safe. Evey smile they give thoughout the day id gold. And yes another income would help my struggles, but wouldn't make life better by no means. It's not a bad thing to teach your child young used items are brand new to me when I wear them or play with them the first time. Good luck to you! I hope this helps, there should be no guilt felt when your giving your all!

Louise - posted on 04/17/2012

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I have been a single Mum for three years now! I too felt guilty to start, with but a very wise person told me to get on with my life, live for me and my kids and to do the best I can for them! They were right! I have at last managed to get a house, a full time job and the kids are along for the ride!! It is not always easy but you have to make the best of the situation as life is very short. One day I hope that I will have a Man in my life that will give me and my kids what we deserve; love, attention and time. But until that person comes along we are a family unit and we love each other. That is all they need at the end of the day. Good friends and a good family go a long way to making a difficult situation possible. Good luck.

Tammi - posted on 04/17/2012

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Wow, I totally know how you feel!! I have been a single mom for 12 years and I wish I had the answer but I don't really know if there is one. Your feelings are your feelings and you can't just change them, but you can try to redirect them. Don't get me wrong I am not there yet and it is easier said than done. Keep your head held high because YOU are the most important person and example in your child's life. And don't settle just to be with someone, because it won't be worth it!

Stephanie H. - I hear you loud and clear. I am fighting severe depression. I appreciate what you had to say. I am trying to get help, but it isn't easy.

Mary F - Thank you for your words. I am a Christian and am trying to rely soley on GOD, but I won't pretend it is easy.

[deleted account]

Sometimes its better to be single mom

than being with someone who doesn't support you emotionally

[deleted account]

I left my baby girl's daddy ...he was in denial .....he doesn't know 100 percent or does not know if i am pregnant

Stephanie - posted on 04/17/2012

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Erica:

Please dont ever feel guilty about being a single mom....YOU chose life....GOD will honor that, I dont know your circumstances but I have been a single mom since I was pregnant and I can tell you that even though there are times I wish i had a partner to share the burden and I get lost and confused, I am the only one who gets the final say in y kids life...I know you can romanticize what it could be like but god has entrusted this life with you..and you alone do it unto to GOD get involved a good church and let that be your anchor...Keep your head up and keep the faith GOD IS GOOD!! Praying for you!!

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