how can someone say I'm not a single mom?

Amanda - posted on 06/25/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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okay so i keep getting "well you have a bf.. your not single" which is stupid. my bf is a new bf.. very new. my kids father isn't around at all. my bf hasn't even really met my kids. how would i not be condisered a single mom? im not getting help from my bf.. obviously i mean it would be weird to be getting help from him so early on. I barely even get to see him because we both have kids. so it's not even a "well you have someone there for you " he works, we both have kids, sure i have someone when we get to see each other.. but single moms have friends that are there for them don't they?

I'm a single mom as in I'm parenting alone. I'm the single parent for these kids.

thoughts?

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Michelle - posted on 06/26/2010

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I am in a committed relationship - we're engaged and getting married in 2011 - and am still, by law, a single parent. I tell people I'm a single parent. When they see my ring and tell me differently, I tell them "Ok, I'm a single parent transitioning to being a partnered parent." But I didn't say that until he gave me my engagement ring. But, by definition, we're single parents. As a PP said, you're a single parent until you get married and your new love takes total responsibility for your child (or children). Or, to simplify, you're a single parent until you can check the 'married' box on the census or you file a joint tax return. :)

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I don't get it why people associate the "single" in single parenting with relationship status!! It means one parent "singularly" has to support and care for the child. I'm sure your boyfriends are very nice, but if they don't financially support your kids, or take care of them part of the time like a birth dad should or would, you are technically a single mom.



Who got the idea that if you are not "single" you aren't a single mom?

Edna - posted on 03/14/2011

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You make single parenting seem so bad, it is going to be a struggle because it is only you that is doing EVERYTHING but trust me it gets easier as time passes and the child is able to do things for themselves that you would normally have to do.

Lisa - posted on 11/20/2010

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until you have a wedding ring on your finger u are a single parent. thats the way i see it and from the posts below me, they say the same thing. to h*ll what anyone says or thinks you know what the right situation is. HTH. x

Alicia - posted on 06/28/2010

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People will think & say what they want & part of being a single mom is to ignore them. I leave in a pretty small town & have a daughter & a son. My daughter looks like me & my son looks like my ex husband. People ask me all the time if they have the same dad. it use to piss me off cause I took it as them saying well your a single mom so you must have slept around I just wanted to check & see if they have the same dad. Single moms do get judged alot & we have to learn not to let it bother us. Best wishes!!!

Kiley - posted on 06/27/2010

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You are definitely a single mom. People who tell you other wise are ignorant. If you were to get married and that person was to accept your child as their own, then you would no longer be considered a single mom. Just ignore the stupidity mama!

Channelle - posted on 06/26/2010

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You're a single parent! Having a boyfriend doesn't change that. If you're the sole provider/caretaker then you're a single parent.

Rebecca - posted on 06/26/2010

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Because they have no idea... Of course your a single mum, you've got it harder than that too - you're a sole parent.

Alycia - posted on 06/25/2010

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You are a single parent..weather or not you have a bf does not matter..unitl you are maried, and your husband takes full responsibility of your kids (not necesserly custody) you are indeed a single mother.

Latavia - posted on 06/25/2010

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u r a singe parent. u take care of ur kids on ur own. regardless to having a bf or not, those r ur kids at the end of the day. if ur bf decides to leave today or tomorrow, u still have to take of ur kids so don't pay any attention to the negativity. UR A SINGLE PARENT !!!

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