How do I deal with my childs irresponsible father?

User - posted on 09/17/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My babies father is 20 years old and has never paid a single dime in child support, his parents have. We have twin 8 month olds. He can't hold a job at all. He said he was going to pick them up 2 weeks ago to spend the day with them and bring them back that afternoon. I had them ready and waiting for him, he never showed. No call, no text, nothing. I called him mom around noon to ask if she still wanted to see the babies. She is super nice and she is normally who I meet to drop them off and set visitations up with. My dad has been in extremely bad health for over 2 months and in ICU. I have asked the babies dad to babysit because he lives on my way to the hospital, every time I ask he won't respond. It's constantly something with this guy. Never in my life have I met anyone as lazy as him. He has never once called to check on them, I text every few hours when he has them. And he...well his parents only pay $500 a month and I have never taken them to court or anything. Im extremely overly nice to all his family. I normally take the babies to him and he will ask me to come meet him when he is suppose to bring them home. Should I tell them my complaints or just keep my mouth closed?

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Holly - posted on 09/18/2012

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Take his ass to court…., granted he has nice parents, but they are even taking you for a ride, in the state of NC for two kids, you would get double that….Here’s my suggestion, take that 500 dollars, put down on a lawyer, If I can do it, you can too….file for full custody , and his parents can have children eve other weekend, and one week for Christmas…., any visits from dad, has to be supervised by you or grandparents…….don’t trust him with your babies…, demand he take a parenting class first…..i see them taking you for a ride….you seem to be quite naive….just like I was…..

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User - posted on 09/18/2012

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I absolutely hate any type of conflict with anyone. I'm a huge push over when it comes to myself but when my kids are involved I'm not as easy going. I know I'm being taken for granted but I felt at the time I was doing what was best for my kids. Being with him is the farthest thing from good thing but I felt him being in their life was for the best. I made out papers for him to sign saying all visitations are to be in his parents home and he did sign but I'm moving soon and really think you may be right about taking him to court. Things need to be legal. At the beginning he wasn't on the birth certificate but after he was being super nice had a job and was being mature about things I filed for new ones and put him on it. From what I have read online he has just as much rights to them as I do. I know he would never do anything as far as taking them because he doesn't want to see them much now much less keep them....I just hate knowing there is that risk. Thank you for your opinion. I need all of them I can get at this point.

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