How do I deal with the hate I have for my ex?

Tiffany - posted on 04/09/2010 ( 175 moms have responded )

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I don't know how to deal with the hate I have for my kids' father. I know that hating someone is not good and really is only hurting myself, but I just don't know how to get over it. HELP!!

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Tiffany - posted on 04/14/2010

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Forgive yourself and forget he ever existed. I still hate my ex for everything he has done to me and my child. He threw her away like a piece of garbage all because I went through the courts and refused to allow him to control me any more. I'm still finding out more and more about him and it is scary stuff. Our whole life together was one big lie. Discovering the person you were with and fathered your child is a sociopath is not a walk in the park. I hate him for the abuse, I hate him fr the lies, most of all i hate him fr not stepping up and manning up. I'll let you in on a little secret. I pray for him, daily. I don't pray for the best, I pray for the worst. I pray his sins catch up to him, I pray he gets what he deserves. I actually heard a song the other day, it made me laugh! You may enjoy it too.
The hate will fade, but it will always be there. I think it comes with the territory. They didn't just hurt us, they did it to our children too.

Veronica - posted on 04/27/2013

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I honestly am dealing with the same thing. I hate my ex. He's a shitty father and his priorities are all wrong. He's the biggest piece of shit. His mom should've swallowed him. He's a waste of fucking space.

[deleted account]

Thanks for being real. I admire your courage. I don't understand nor do I desire to understand people that can just say o' well move forward forgive and forget. What has happened to my family is a big damn deal and I am not going to just be peaceful and nice. I am the angriest woman in the world and yes I wish bad things on my ex even if it means I am going to burn in hell. Abandoning children and the other parent should have more serious consequences but, the way society it was almost like my ex was encouraged to take off. He is sick and addicted to his vice and I couldn't help him. This is like normal now. God damn it! I have been searching the internet for weeks trying to find some other single parent who is angry. I don't think anyone has enough fight in them. Has society broke everyone?

[deleted account]

I think the anger and hatred will cause change. If enough parents get angry then perhaps the justice system might change. I don't like the way this going down. It is hard to imagine how many single parents there really is. I have been betrayed. My ex knows how much I hate the way single parents and the children of single parents get treated. I hate it! My number one fear in life has come true. What a nightmare! He still chose to act selfishly and my hatred will fuel my fire. My fire is going to burn and keep me going. I want to be treated with more respect. I don't like to be labeled a single parent I hate the word. This is a problem that needs to fixed. I know another problem. I think these people that abandon or hurt children in any shape or form should be hated. I am a mother it is my job to keep my children safe and I will do whatever it takes. Unfortunatlly, no one is on my side. I feel alone but that is alright I'm used to it. Lone wolf. I'll go it alone. God knows I am a warrior mom who will die trying. That is all I need. I hate my children's father and everyone knows and I am not ashamed! Real love can be scary! ROAR

Spencer - posted on 06/13/2014

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I stumbled on this page quite by accident but after reading these heart wrenching posts, I decided to comment.

I left my daughter's dad when she was 17 months old... He was the love of my life, my soul-mate and the best thing to ever happen in my life. He was also the worst thing to ever happen in my life.

While the emotional roller-coaster he put me through had been tolerable before my daughter was born, the mother instinct kicked in immediately after she was born and came the day that I physically packed up and left him, the company we started and owned together and the beautiful home we had built.

I say physically packed up and left because as I pulled out of the driveway, I didn't note that the most important thing in my life, I had left sitting in the closet of that gorgeous house. Yes, I left a suitcase full of emotions... In fact, more than a suitcase, more than a huge truck full of emotions... I would have had to hire a moving company with three vans to load up what I left behind. Yup... I somehow managed to leave 90% of myself behind and doing so wrecked havoc in my life for what is now, 19 years? Yes, 19 years.

My daughter is 20 years old now. I'm 57. Let me rephrase that... I'm 57 years old and single. Single I think because I was never ever able to let go of the hurt, the betrayal, the resentment and yes, the hate. On the outside, everyone thought I was fine. In fact, not just fine, but an extremely strong and amazing woman. And because of that perception, I managed to keep up an academy award worthy performance for many years. Still do as a matter of fact... But I don't recommend this.

I saw my ex get back with his first wife, get engaged, date several women and four times over 7 years, we got back together four times, each time for about a year... (never gave up my own place though)... The last time we stopped seeing each other, he met a gal and they were married, complete with her arrival in a horse drawn carriage, within six weeks of meeting.

I had heard she was Italian... then I met her for coffee at a Starbucks, a demand I made in order to feel comfortable that my little girl was in a good place when visiting and to make sure this new woman understood that my ex was an alcoholic and of the mean he drank variety and that I had a zero tolerance when it came to my ex being around my daughter. My rule to her was: If he drinks, you call me and all you have to say is "Can you come and pick up Jaimi" ... and that I would never ask why. She said she had not seen him drunk and I asked "where have you been on the multiple nights he's drunk dialed me this past month since you met him?" ... She agreed to my terms and I left, but not before noticing that the only thing Italian about her was that knock-off Louis Vitton bag she carried.

That was about 8 years ago... my daughter is grown up now. But me, I'm still single and headed in to my senior years at what seems like lightening speed, I look back now and realize that I let this destroy that happy place we all have inside of us. Sure, I look fine, but on the inside, I feel sad. Sad that I still feel something for him. Sad that he let his current wife substitute her daughter for ours. Sad that I lost so many years. I don't have an answer for how to keep any of you young single Moms from ending up here other than to tell you Two things:

1) You don't want to be here. It is lonely and no matter how successful you are in other areas of your life, there's nothing that can replace the loss of love you miss out on if you can't move forward. I know this for a fact as it is my life.
2) If you don't figure out how to avoid the pitfall of being stuck in hurt and resentment, you cheat not only yourself, but you children for they then do not have a chance to have a happy environment at home.

Again, I don't know how to tell you to manage putting the past behind you. I only know how to tell you try... I started over, built a successful business and last year bought an $800K home... I would trade all of it to leave the past behind... Don't live in the past... it's a terrible zip code. You're worth more than that....

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175 Comments

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Tamine - posted on 08/28/2014

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Tiffany, I am so sorry the pain you experienced in this separation / divorce. There is not easy way to heal. I was abandoned when I was 6 months pregnant, I know about hate and resentment. I went through a lot of counselling to get well for myself and baby. I know God will deal with my ex and his family, even though I still pray for them. Please seek some support and help for yourself. Blessings.

Amiee - posted on 08/25/2014

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Awesome read -have read MANY trying to get through the pain, but this is the BEST yet!! I pray that God will soon bring real love into her life bcuz lifes not over till we're dead and i'm believing for me & her when god feels the time is right see I truly believe in god's season he knows the when ,where ,and how~OLD or YOUNG

Erika - posted on 08/11/2014

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I am sorry that you are so bitter. Forgiveness doesn't mean taking him off the hook. It means taking him off the hook and putting him on God's hook. God will deal with him, so you can go on with your life and not allow him to have that kind of emotional power over you.

Mitzi - posted on 07/10/2014

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Fuck wad no way all that shit about the forgiveness is for you and not him is bull shit!!I have been divorced for all most 15 years and the hate for him has still not faded at all. If he would die of cancer slowly and painfully I would rejoice! So the only thing I forgive myself for is staying with him for 21 years.

Lucy - posted on 06/22/2014

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HI Tiffany
I have no answers for you. But you are correct it only hurts yourself....I like to say dislike only because that is where I am at now...I dislike a lot of thinks he has done or does to hurt me....or our children....there just some many things out of my control...so I have to just learn to deal with that I can only control myself....that may have helped...Lucy

Carol - posted on 06/22/2014

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Get a pet and named it after your ex. One thing I will work and make you feel good get a doll and use some long pins.

Sarah - posted on 06/19/2014

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Call yourself Karma! Be the best person you can possibly be. Be the best parent you can possibly be. If your ex told you negative things about yourself enough to make you believe it than change that. My ex told me I was worthless and useless, there is now nothing, I repeat, NOTHING I can not do on my own. He told me I could never do it without him, I'm doing it BETTER than him now. I no longer NEED to hate him because I'm now ok with myself. Your hate for him is probably a reflection of your own insecurities about yourself. Dig deep and figure out what those insecurities are and then work to strengthen those parts of your life. You are worth it.

Charity - posted on 05/22/2014

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Hey Tiff, i had a lot of forgiveness problems growing up that i had to confront and I recently posted something on my blog about Forgiveness. Have a read at it and I hope it does help.

http://justkutloano.blogspot.com/2014/01...

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Much Love
Charity

Carol - posted on 05/19/2014

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Sundance I feel ur pain completely I'm not sure how to get rid of the hate I'm a christian and I pray but guess I want instant pudding the hate I feel is so extreme and his life just goes on as he ignores our boys and everyone still loves him he is the poster child of a true narcisst

Outcast - posted on 05/13/2014

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I am on the opposite side of this argument from you fine young ladies as it was my pregnant girlfriend who left me 6 weeks in and started dating another man (what kind of desperate ass-clown dates a pregnant chick?)

Anyways she changed her number and had the child without me and he should be about a month and a half old. I have not met him although I would like to and I would have liked to help her through the entire pregnancy but she would not allow me anywhere near her..

I was not physically or mentally abusive to her but she claims the exact opposite which makes me laugh when I hear all you women saying similar stories about your exs to justify your actions of cutting him out of his child's life...

I think some of your stories are probably true but I would guess a good 20% of you on here actually had good men who wanted to be there for you and you shut him out in a hormonal stupor...

I know for a fact I would have given anything to stick it out with her and have a family but she would not allow it, and now she is playing the victim role even tho she was the aggressor...

Pathetic

Vangie - posted on 05/09/2014

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Everything you said is great except: forgive and move on!!!!!! Demanding that someone forgive and move on for the children sounds like a lecture. People are asking for constructive advice!

Vangie - posted on 05/08/2014

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DION CHAMBERS you're a mad bitch get help and stop trolling on women's mothers single mothers pages of what they're going through and go on a men's site and cry your eyes out about how much you hate women we don't hate men it's simply the one man who hurt us so get off stop trolling get over yourself and nobody cares about you!

Vangie - posted on 05/08/2014

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why are you on the page that's meant to support others when they are hurting and so that they can rant about stress get off troll if you hate women that bad and if she's praying that makes her crazy actually it makes her more aware of her situation and that she needs help its men like you sissy's who make other good men look like s*** so get off this page go look at your pornography of 18 years older barely legal porn sites and go cry about your own pathetic life because this isn't for you!!!!!

Sundance - posted on 02/16/2014

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I'm so glad I found this. I HATE HATE HATE my freaking ex. He cheated, he lied, he treated me like shit and I allowed it. He told me the marriage failing was my fault, the divorce my fault, etc. And left me alone in a foreign country, no family, no friends, a stay at home mom with no money. He sees his son but that's about it. The shit I went through and go through makes me more mad every day and I don't hesitate to tell him. Which makes me a psycho. I'm sick of this life and I'm sick of him and I'm sick of me. So I'm glad to ready others are going through it and the responses to that. I have no advice. Just good luck.

Tan - posted on 02/15/2014

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hey noticed you posted so long ago and it still has many replies .
I was married for 17 years and I helped him twice a total of $300 k and I paid bulk of bills during this time and he still hits me when I asked for the money back from his family . Finally , he hits me harder when I rejected his family . I tried to write off the money but when he hits me for wanting his family . I decided to leave finally . There was a lot of bitterness and hate .
But I later felt that I will be a better person to let it go and move on with life - for myself and for my children . I don't want to be stuck being as ugly on the inside as him . I still cry over my money and love lost and wonder why he does that to me and my children . But to let it go releases the ugliness inside me and I feel the better of me returning surfacing . for the sake of my children now . and maybe I will find a better man with a more beautiful me and have a better happily after .

Ann - posted on 02/15/2014

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Wtf, dion chambers? Sure you aren't her ex or her ex's new girlfriend/significant other? Saying she prays makes her sound like a "mad bitch"?? I'm guessing you're one of those condescending atheists??

Ann - posted on 02/15/2014

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I hear you...I'm in the same boat. I feel like any time he or my involuntarily much-delayed child support case is brought up, I go totally batty and turn into a spazzy monster so unlike myself.

Charlie - posted on 02/14/2014

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As I sit here with tears rolling down my eyes, I know how everyone of you feels and Im always told to get over it! What am I even worth, busting my butt when I shouldn't at this stage in my life! Why even exist!

Charlie - posted on 02/14/2014

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Going through the same, I also pray he will get run over by a truck!! of all that he did to my kids in the past, they run to him to get his approval still! Help me get through this as I feel sometimes what does my existence even matter. As I sit with tears rolling down my face!

Dion - posted on 02/08/2014

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You sound like a mad bitch. He wont attempt to be a father to a child you have used as a weapon (he controlled you? You used his child and the courts to control him) and probably hates you as much as you hate him. You pray, to most intellectuals that sentence alone stands out that you are in fact a mad bitch. Also, your not a man and know sod all about 'manning up', a phrase coined by feminist cunts and ho-yah trained killers (soldiers). I couldn't read any more of your story past the manning up phrase you used. My advice would be that you should become a dyke as men don't want to care for girls, especially girls who watch too many rom coms and read feminist hate rags.

Melissa - posted on 02/08/2014

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I'm so happy to find that I'm not the only one thinking terrible things!! I was married for 9 years and raised his son since he was 13 months old, we also have a 5 year old together. I left my ex because of severe emotional and some physical abuse. It was the hardest decision of my life. We tried to fix it all and had every intention of getting back together since we both went to counseling and we cared to much about our family to end it, we were going to get the divorce papers finished then start over. We were still together up to the day we signed. Once they were signed he decided it was time to bring his girlfriend home. Yes, his stupid sister hooked him up with this ugly girl and there was the end of my family. He tells me he still cares about me but, he doesn't he is so mean to me now. How do you go from being with someone that long to throwing it all away for some girl that looks like she belongs on the Adams family? I'm so mad because they continue to rub it in my face and my son comes home saying how bad he hates his dad and girlfriend! I want him to suffer the way I have! Any advice would be great!!

Lourdes - posted on 01/08/2014

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It's a struggle…every day. My ex cheated on me, became and addict and bankrupt us. I never had to mourn over him, but I had to mount the loss of the life I though I would have and for the loss of my family unit - that's what broke my heart. Maybe if afterwards, he had stepped up, taken care of his responsibilities and shown up as a father then I wouldn't feel so much anger. But it's been over 2 years and he just can't seem to get his shit together. He can't be consistent with his kids, won't pay support, tries to demand when he wants to see them (like texting me and saying he's coming to get the kids in a hour when he hasn't seen them in 5 weeks). I just have to give it to God and leave it alone. I know it's not worth the energy for me to be angry because it doesn't change anything. It's like drinking poison yourself and hoping the other person dies.

Cheryl - posted on 01/06/2014

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I stayed in my marriage 23 years because I wanted only the best for my children and didn't want them to come from a "broken home". I put up with so much bullshit its unreal....and for what? My grown children do not even want much to do with me now. I guess they feel I should have continued to just deal with it for the rest of my life so things wouldn't complicate their life. I feel I've sacrificed the best years of my life only to be betrayed by the ones I love most and that I created the selfish, self entitlement attitude that my adult children have. I waited far too long to get away from the evil SOB I was married to for so long. I don't speak badly about my ex- to my children because I feel that's not a motherly thing to do....but GOD karma has got to come around sometime soon!

Brandi - posted on 12/28/2013

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First of, it's ok to have hate and ill-feelings for the father. But don't make it affect the child or the rest of your life. Your child will find about the indiscretion of his/her father. Pray for him. Pray for guidance and wisdom for him so he can get right and that he can take care of his child. You need to seek counseling yourself so you can talk about your feelings and get positive advice of how to move on. I know you're protecting your child. That's very important. remember, trying to get revenge on your ex will do more harm than good. Don't become a bitter person. It will affect your child and it can ruin the relationship between the both you and the child.Your child is very important to you right now. So that's your focus. You need to forgive him and move on!!! This is not about your ex. understand that!!! This forgiveness is about you willing to accept the situation and person the way they are and close the chapter on the book so can move on with ease. Put God in your life, Let him take of the rest. You can't do it alone. Find positive people who can help you focus on more important things and find yourself. You never should expect too much on a person, especially on a man. They're not what they always cracked up to be. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, before loving anyone. Know your place, have faith and hope. Love!!!

Shannon - posted on 12/28/2013

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Start a blog and use him as fodder. I find this new one to be really funny. I think it's called Fleeing a moderately high degree of trouble. It's really funny and you can tell this woman is releasing stress about her ex.

And I don't mean to be sarcastic but I am in your boat and it's hard to let go of feelings towards and ex as they are still in the picture. Hopefully, time will change everything.

Lah - posted on 12/28/2013

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Now I don't feel as alone. It's been almost two years and for the most part of it, I didn't feel any hate towards him. Over the last few months though, I've realised that I had started to resent him. Which has now turned into hate. It's left me frustrated and alienated. I had thought so badly of myself for hating him. Now after reading everyones feedback I'm learning that it's okay. It's a shared feeling by so many other "Bebe Mumas" who have also been left short by their "drop-kick" "douche-bag" idiot "Bebe daddies". I know that this hate I've formed for him wont last much longer. Just like "him" it's a nuisance feeling that will fade. I'd like to just say this- My gosh!!! He irritates the heck out of me, the good for nothing sorry excuse of a Dad the moron is!! I wont have to wait for karma to do a full circle...he pretty much has that sorted for himself because he is still the same still in a stupid gang still unfaithful and still smacking up his Women. Not long now and he'll end up back in Jail because of his on doing.

CK - posted on 12/27/2013

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Take the hate out on him by keeping your kids away from him. Its will provide you some satisfaction for now. When you child is screwed up as an adult because of this, you can blame it on him again and get the last laugh.

Charlena - posted on 12/19/2013

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Oh god I need to know that to I have 3 kids by him and went through so much with and for him his drug use living in a car for a summer with our to lil one a3 yr.old and s new born I was with him for 6 yes and when he finally gets off drugs and go's back to school gets a good job he leaves me and now treats me as if I never meant anything to him and that every girl he dates even ones he is only sleeping with are better then me how can he treat me this way when he used to begg me not to leave him and I always responded I won't I love u and u are avoid man u will get better how can I not hate him its consumeing me I can't stay away from him help please

Vikki - posted on 12/17/2013

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Really? How do you know that? Usually when two people are together, it's mutual. If one decided they didn't want children from the beginning then maybe they should have moved on and kept their pants zipped up. The fact is that once a child is in the picture, responsibility needs to kick in from both. It no longer matters who did or said what. If you play, you pay. Who wouldn't want to take responsibility for a child even if it wasn't planned? Each need to step up to the plate and do "whatever it takes" to provide, nuture a child. The lies, deceit, absence, etc when one finds out they have a new responsibility that they helped bring into this world is weak and pitiful and shows what that individuals mentality is. There are many that will step up to the plate and it's clear, you're not one of them. No excuses.... "just do it"!

Vikki - posted on 12/17/2013

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Hatred truly takes it's toll on your mental and physical well-being. I too am a Victim of losing my family. I stayed in a marriage with children for 19 years knowing that my ex was a liar, cheater, and had a sexual addiction (prositutes). I wanted my family together more than not I guess (not a good idea). It took everything that I was as a woman and left me with nothing, Finally, I decided enough was enough and we divorced. Child support arrearage continued to build, alimony and our property settlement too. I spent 26k trying to recover what was owed beginning in 2008 and we are now in 2013 (still not resolved). I now live pay check to pay check and I have so much hatred in my heart for him and his new family that I don't know how to deal with it sometimes. I know I can forgive but because I've allowed this to go on so long, it's just taken it's toll on me. I'm angry with myself too I guess. People always say he will get what's coming to him. Hasn't happened yet and he appears to be living quite the life. Oh well..... I'm trying to move forward and find ways to think positive. I am a Christian but I struggle with the "God why me" syndrome. Must be a reason. So, don't let your hatred continue on in your life as mine has. It will make you the person you will truly hate. Find a way to move forward and that alone will aggravate the ex to see you happy and successful.

[deleted account]

I also hate my X. I thought I was over it and doing fairly well until he started treating my daughter the same way he treated me. She is 20 years old. All the hate came back pretty quickly. Now I ache for my daughter, now having to live with her dad because she has no other choice. She will be beat down like I was, emotionally and verbally abused, like I was. I see the train wreck coming and can't do a damn thing about it.

Marla Ann - posted on 12/11/2013

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Oh he will come around, as soon as you stop caring and move on thats.when they decide to.come back. Ugh i hate that. Keep your head up though Sarah, and just know that baby of yours will love you back and you give it your all and soon you wont even care or need that chump ever again.

User - posted on 12/11/2013

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I hate my baby father told him about the baby hasn't even manned up and called me to see how the unborn baby is I have gave him a chance 2 be there but he anit so he best not think in years to come he has another chance to see his child its the baby I feel sorry for

Marla Ann - posted on 12/11/2013

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Gosh Tiffany I can relate. Thats cause I have to keep in touch with this asshole once a month to make sure I get my check ugh! And then to top it off this jerk has the nerve to ask me for nude pics and dirty favors! Hate is an understatement when it comes to this guy .

Rogers - posted on 11/17/2013

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Remember, YOU chose him to be the child's father. Also, how many of you had the child after he told you that he did not want children.

Karen - posted on 10/06/2013

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We all have been there,Just let go,hate will take your soul,Look up to Heaven and say
Please remove this person out of my thoughts and hand him to God.Be free and happy that he did not get your soul.

Rose - posted on 09/16/2013

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Very sorry Tiffany..
what you have to is to stop thinking about any thing that he have done to you,either it is bad or good u just have to let it go....i understand it is very hard but you have to..i even undergo the same thing but what i did is,i didn't care any thing that he has ever done to me...i just dis aided to forget every thing and delete every thing in my herd after 2 month i was over him.just don't fill lonely in an way....fill you have you kid is the only happiness your having and he will be repressed by you kid..give your kid the love you felt for your ex....and u will be OK.

Ochun - posted on 09/06/2013

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Tiffany,

What! Omg! What do you do when you child tell you she being touched and no one be alive you? I hate this family court and child service. I'm so sorry. I feel your pain. How did you find out?

Tina - posted on 09/04/2013

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I'm on the other end of the spectrum. My ex hates me. And is not afraid of showing it. Even after 7 years of not being together, he treats me as if I'm the worst person ever. Funny thing is, I have done nothing but work with & communicate with him.
I don't know your situation, and you may have great reasons to hate your ex. Just an opinion from this side....hate him all you need, but don't act on it. As hard as it may be. You're right, it's only making it harder on yourself, and giving him a reason to show the same feelings back. Maybe even worse.

Columba Lisa - posted on 09/03/2013

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I wrote a post about forgiveness a while back. It's important to understand forgiveness does not mean understanding why someone hurt us (although that can help with compassion). It also doesn't mean convincing ourselves what they did wasn't that bad. Forgiveness is truth-based, and very freeing. You can read my post here:
http://www.susannasapron.com/2011/04/for...
Love,
Lisa

Ochun - posted on 08/19/2013

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Achmed

This is a other scamm. So you get paid to promote these people? I don't trust none if them all they want is money and no guarantee

Ochun - posted on 08/18/2013

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Derek,

Thanks for you honesty! You cause the split? You cheated? Don't know the entire story. But I can tell you mine. Marriage is a commitment for life. And when there's kids we need to stop being selfish because is not about us anymore.

I loved my husband he was my soulmate that's what he said several times. This man cry at the day of our wedding like a little girl.

So why is it that as soon we have kids and the struggle start men tend to start looking the other way. And them blame the affair on the baby. Ohh we give way too much attention to the baby and forgot about them.

He cheated 2 times the second time I had to hire a PI. To find out what he was really doing. I file for divorce and why is it he gets upset! Then I get a phone call fm the mistress.

For the last year is been a erratic battle. How do you men do not understand that we don't want the mistress girlfriend around our child. Why is it that I have to take you do court I have him not bring her over to our visit exchange.

Better yet! In what type if metal status a man has to be to bring his mistress I his hold custody hearing. And have you mistress as your witness to bad mouth your wife.

To end the story I have sole legal and physical custody. He only has visit during day and no overnights.

I still have not dated anyone and that the last thing on my mind. My divorce is not even close to being done. I do the right thing by god eyes and moral and values everywoman should have.

So please explain to me how can we not hate you type of men.

How can we not stop the hate and bitter.

Men don't make it easy for us at all.

We work take are of our kids and to top it all we have to take you to court so you can pay child support.

How can we not stop the hate and anger!

You tell me?

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