User - posted on 12/24/2011 ( 20 moms have responded )
First of all, I'm sorry this is so long...
I have a 4 year old son from a previous relationship and an 11 month old daughter from my ex husband. Im also pregnant with his second child (a boy) He's always been abusive but as soon as we got married this past August it got so much worse. He was very emotionally abusive and physically abusive, he's hit my son many times which I tried to stop but then he hit me. My daughter, who was only 9 months when he left, was terrified of him. Everytime I left the room she was in, she would SCREAM! Especially when he was in the room with her. Everytime someone raises a hand around my son, especially a guy, he freaks out and cries. I have NEVER hurt my kids, my ex husband believed in spankings and timeouts for hours for punishment. My son still isnt potty trained, and my ex husband always put him on the potty for hours and now my son cries everytime I ask him to go potty, even though the longest he sits on there is 5 - 10 minutes. This past october I got fed up with him. We got into a screaming fight when my daughter was in the room (my son was with his grandparents for the weekened thank god!) and I told him I didnt want to fight in front of my daughter but he didnt care. My daughter was on the floor screaming and my ex husband picked her up, then realized she wasnt going to stop screaming so he literally threw her to me. If we were further away, I could have missed the catch and she would have fallen on the floor... that was the scariest thing ever... but I did catch her and he pushed me down onto the couch. I was trying to comfort her and I tried to get past my ex to go to the bathroom (the only locked room in the house). I finally got past him and was on my way up the stairs and he kicked me and I fell down but my daughter didnt get hurt that time, only I did. And at that time, I was about 4 months pregnant!. We got to the bathroom and he was outside the door still screaming. He finally said "Im going for a walk and when I get back we are talking!" so he left, and I called the cops on him. He came back from his walk after 10 minutes. and I got my coat and my daughters coat on because my son was on his way home (we live in an apartment so I had to meet my son downstairs) and he told me to leave my daughter and I refused to, so he said as soon as I get back we are talking. I went downstairs and the cops came as my son also came home. The cop told me to go to the police station so I didnt have to see my ex. The grandparents (not my sons biological grandparents, just really close family friends of mine) came with me to the police station. I got an EPO (emergency protection order) against him with my kids on it. Now Im fighting for custody!! I have a lawyer but he said I'll probably get joint custody. I dont trust him around my daughter at all!!! And when my sons born I dont want him involved. Im not the type of girl who will take the fathers kids away from them, but when it comes to their safety I will do anything!! How can I get sole custody?? I've told my lawyer everything thats happened in our relationship and everything he's done to me and my kids. I just want them safe... please help!
Oh and I forgot to mention, as soon as my ex left due to the EPO, my son slept so much better (he was on melatonin but I decided to try taking him off of it. Before he wouldnt sleep until midnight) And my daughter started going to other people and didnt need me in the room at all times. And she started cuddling with me more, which was a big thing cause she was scared to sit for even 2 minutes with me cause of him.