Liz - posted on 04/16/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )
Well to give some background, basically dad left when we found out I was pregnant. After my daughter was born he waited til she was 6 months to take me for paternity. He got ordered to pay child support, which I never saw a dime of. Shortly after, he took off again. Was gone for 5yrs. Never heard from him at all. He then came back out of the blue w/court papers saying he wanted full custody. Didn't get it but he got therapeutic supervised visitation. Have done that for a year, now he wants outside visitation and joint custody. He never pays child support, continues to make bogus lies to the law guardian, judge and social workers (half of his lies don't even make sense) My daughter has been ok w/the supervised visits (which I'm assuming is because I'm waiting in the other room), but right when I told her she's going to be going to his house, she freaked. She told the LG, but they're still allowing him outside visitation anyway because they say she's not old enough to make that decision and that he's fulfilled his time in the supervised visits. Thats pretty much where we are at the moment.
Every time we go to court for visitation/custody I'm a nervous wreck. And now that outside visitation is starting, I'm even worse. I don't trust him at all and my mind has been racing with all the horrible things that could possibly happen once he gets to take her. They're only starting out w/a couple hours a week but it still scares the crap out of me on what could possibly happen when she's in his care.
And to add to it, he doesn't even know anything about her like where she goes to school or what grade she's in. The social worker at the visitation actually had to make him write a letter to me asking me all the information because he never bothered to ask nor cared about it. He never pays child support and acts like its just a big joke. And then every time we go to court, he shows up with some overly expensive electronic item (last time he was showing off his I-phone to his lawyer) yet he cant even pay the $60/week and then shows up to the visits driving a $20,000 car (which just kills me when I've been driving the same car for 9yrs now that is falling apart and is constantly in need of repairs) .
I just wanted to know for anyone who is dealing with the same situation, how do you deal with it all without losing your mind? I'm trying to work with him for the sake of my daughter, but when he continues to act like a child, it just gets too hard. And the constant lies have just gotten ridiculous that I can't believe one word he says. I just wish he would start acting like an adult and start taking responsibility for his actions.