How do you love your kid when they act unloveable, or they are in the attitude giving stage?

Amber - posted on 04/14/2010

Ah, this is a perfect question for what I'm going through, too, as a single mom of one 13 year old drama queen daughter and a 12 year old I-Wanna-Be-Independent son. LOL. There have been moments when I look at my daughter and wonder who she is because of all the drama. Two months ago she was suddenly getting into trouble, lashing out at her brother and me, and basically becoming the dreaded teen I have seen Lifetime movies about! At one point, I can honestly say I dreaded seeing her after school because of her attitude. And now she is back to normal--just like a switch went off in her head--and I am chalking it all up to hormones or a phase. Just like toddlers who learn independence for the first time, children of all ages go through phases where they test the boundaries and test your patience! Let me assure you that it isn't you. Kids go through stages of rebellion, even when they are younger, as they learn who they are as growing people. How do you get to the other side? By remembering that you are the adult and keeping your cool. (and I know this is often a challenge--13 year old daughter, remember? Ha.) Just remember that 'this too shall pass', reinforce those boundaries they are pushing against so they understand that there are consequences for their actions, and always BREATHE. The loveable, squeezable kid you have always known is STILL there disguised as a rebel. As for the attention thing: I am a single mom who owns her own business from HOME...I am always here for my kids, always flexible, always with them...and I have heard the 'attention' thing, too. If I gave my kids any more attention, we would all be sleeping in the same room. Kids act out because they are kids. Be well, my friend. I am sending you hugs from the foothills of the Rockies and wishing you some peace.

Tammy - posted on 04/14/2010

Been there! It is really hard to not get frustrated when you are locked in a power struggle with your child. The important thing is to try and not take it personally. It sounds to me as though your child is trying to assert his independence. Maybe your child needs a different kind of attention right now. Things that you have done in the past to show your child that you love them may need to change. Ask you child what they need from you. When my son would fight over a board game I just simply stopped playing them with him. You can't have fun together when you fighting. Think of something else to do together that doesn't have rules, or winners and losers. And if you find yourself on the edge tell your child you need a time out!

Imogen Hallam - posted on 04/13/2010

is there somrthing going on thats making him angry ? every child thinks they know everything at some stage in there life ... u have to show him that he aint going to get the reaction he is wanting kids hate to be ignored or have things taken away for long periods of time it aint goin to be fixed over night its a long job but he will learn in the end