How might I get my daughter's father to sign over his rights?

Stacy - posted on 07/12/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I am the single mother of a special needs child. Her father is on the birth certificate and I have a court order for monthly child support, which he still hasn't paid a dime towards what he owes. I also have a restraining order against him with which I have custody of her and he gets supervised visitations with a deputy for 3 hours every other Sunday. He has shown up once since the start of the restraining order at the end of January. He has canceled 4 times. She does not know who he is and that one visitation affected her health so badly, I have to consider getting a doctors envolment if he tries to see her again. I am seeing someone else now, and we plan on getting married eventually, and she knows him as her dad and he wants to adopt her after we are married. When we went to child support court, her biological father said he would not sign over his rights and would not let me change her last name. What can I do to get him to change his mind? And now he is in hiding because they are going to issue a warrant for non support. But he keeps calling me telling me I have to return his calls and he is going to press charges for me because he has rights to find out about his daughter! First the judge said we have to maintain some form of contact because we have a child together, but says nothing about it in the restraining order. I could have him arrested for violation of the restraining order for phone calls, but I don't want to have to go through all of the court stuff again, let alone see him again. Now I found out that the deputies can still allow the visitations even if he owes child support! Why does he get the rights to see her, once every 6 months, even when he owes so much money? He obviously doesn't want her because she is not a "normal" kid like all of his other friends' kids. And now he is seeing (living with) someone else who has three kids and doesn't receive any support from their father, but the mother lets their father see them no questions asked. So because he sees her doing that, he thinks he can get away with the same thing. I am so confused, and I can't work because of my daughter's disabilities so we are on a very limited income. How am I supposed to afford an attorney to answer these questions and to help me out with my daughter's rights? Any feedback will be greatfully appreciated!

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10 Comments

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User - posted on 09/10/2012

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im haveing a hard with my oldest daughter and her dad shes 9 and hasnt seen her dad in years..

Stacy - posted on 07/14/2009

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thank you for all of your thoughts. Hopefully we can get a lawyer soon, and get this over with. Or deal with it for 16 more years.

[deleted account]

you should look up the family laws in your state. all states are a little different. the only way to for your boyfriend to adopt her is for her father to sign over his rights or you take him to court with proof that he is an unfit father. It's been my experience in FL that the not paying nor the showing up for visitations isn't enough to be unfit (i know it doesn't seem fair), but every case is different. the bestw advice i ever got from a lawyer was to take notes. keep a little note book of dates, times, conversations between the two of you, document everytime he doesn't show up or cancels and document the reason he gives as well then take him back to court.

THEODORA - posted on 07/13/2009

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Hi Stacy...i just want to say that you should focus in your new family and everything will go well.....

Cindy - posted on 07/12/2009

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no problem :) i have a friend who waited to 2 years b4 his rights finally got taken away. as long as he is supposed to have those visits and hes not showing up it that proves he wants nothing to do with her and also the fact that they are supervised helps with the monitoring

Stacy - posted on 07/12/2009

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We went to court begining of June, but the visitations have been set up since the end of January and last until July of 2010

Cindy - posted on 07/12/2009

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are you still in court? if he doesnt see her enough the courts will take his rights away anyway.

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