how to cope with being lonely

Tia - posted on 05/20/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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i'm the type of person that has to be around people a lot. ever since i had my son, i had to move in with my parents due to becoming a single mother, not having a job at the time.
since i moved in, it's been a constant arguement, i understand i can't always go to my friends houses, i don't complain about that because i would text them just to chat. but being bitched at because my friend meets up with me at the park with my son when i was heading there anyways pisses me off.. there's a difference between my life is over and a hermit. i can't stand being a hermit because i cry myself to sleep every night knowing i can't hang out with anyone for a few moments without a bitch from my own family.. my neighbor's been trying to help me but it's not working i feel like a 23 year old trapped inside a 15 year old because i have to ask permission to do anything, can't own my own car because they love to take my paycheck to pay their bills when i'm already paying 300 for rent and i have no money for insurance afterward. how can i cope with this ;[

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Michelle - posted on 05/20/2012

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I think it is time you checked into social services that help single mothers get back on their feet get your own place and start living your own life as you are always going to be trapped if all your income goes to your family.

Luvmia - posted on 05/22/2012

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It sounds like your family is using your dire situation to exploit you for their own financial gain. There is no reason why you or anyone should allow this. Please look into some shelters for single mothers. If need be, go to Catholic Charities because they have a lot of services to help you.

Michelle - posted on 05/22/2012

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You need to find a way out of there. Would any of your friends be up for a roommate situation? Even short term? My mother was a single mom and twice we rented a room to another single mom friend of hers. It helped her with our mortgage and was discounted enough that friend could save up to move on to her own place eventually.
Hit up the father for child support. There is generally assistance for lawyers to get child support. Even if he's making minimum wage he should be paying something, especially since you are not making enough on your own.

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Danielle - posted on 05/22/2012

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I'd add that you might see if there are any volunteering opportunities for you that would allow you to have your little one with you, like helping out at a nursery at a church or YMCA or junior college so you can get some interaction with others but since it's for a "greater good", it might get your parents off your back as it isn't solely about you.

As for $300/mo for rent, is that also including food? What are their utilities like? I don't know if you've ever been on your own, but water, electricity, gas, cable & other bills can add up quickly. While you think you're only taking up a single room for you & the baby, it might be having a greater impact on them than you realize. I do think it might be good for you to look at other living opportunities tho to see if there's something else out there for you in that price range. What are you doing for work? Is there anyway you could work more hours or decrease your living expenses further?

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Time to find out what support there is locally for single parents. Also look at moving out from your parents house into your own accommodation so that you can do things on your own terms. It is hard work being a single parent, without having other adults living with you (partner, parents) but it does mean that you can have your space and make sure that you have your rules for your child.



Have you thought about talking to your parents about how their house rules make you feel?



Being lonely - look at trying to sort out some sort of social life for yourself, so that you and your child can get out of the house, so that you are mixing more with your own age group rather than just family.

Louise - posted on 05/21/2012

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Michelle is right, there is so much help out there for single parents you just have to find it. Your family are using you as a paycheck rather than helping you stand on your own two feet. Go and speak to a benefits adviser and see what help there is out there. Even if money is tight you will have your own space to be mum and to pick up the peices of your life and start again.

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