How To Get Things Done With A Baby And No Partner

Alyssa - posted on 06/14/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I have a 5 week old daughter and until now, when I need to go back to work, being on my own was fine. But I cant seem to get anything done. She will only stay in her swing so long and is awake a lot for a baby so young.



How do you entertain a newborn?



She has not been a cryer at all until recently but now she just wants to be held every second and if she is not she is screaming. How do you deal with this when there is no one else in the house to help?

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Sheri - posted on 06/18/2009

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Been there... Wasn't easy. Thankfully I had wonderful friends. This will only be in the initial stage. My 20+ mths old baby wasn't easy to handle in her initial first few months as she used to cry a lot, wanting to be held close for comfort. Took me a while to adjust to my new life as a single mother, especially when I was and am still rather ignorant about bringing up babies/toddlers... I was so lost and felt handicapped. A friend comforted me and advised me that it will only be within +- the first year that my baby would want to be carried, thereafter, she would just want to walk/run...







The best, get some extra hands if you could...say from family members, friends... Especially at certain times of the day when you need to get yourself organised, etc. Or, when your baby is asleep, then that would be the best time for you to do whatever you need/rest.





When your baby's easier to handle with a stable neck, you can babywear him/her close to you and do some things at the same time. Once your baby's gotten more independent at about a year's old, ie able to play on his/her own, crawl and eventually walk and at the same time understand you, it's easier to get things done.





All the best of luck... God bless!

Paula - posted on 06/16/2009

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I use a pack of some sort, bouncy seat or another type of seat where Lane could be close to me. Now that he is almost a year old, I do let him scream once in a while, but try to keep where he can see me so he knows I didn't just leave him. Packs are a wonderful thing when they are little little, but once they start reaching for things, it can be a bit more complicated. Good luck and congrats on the new baby!

Angela - posted on 06/16/2009

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Don't worry about the crying. Six weeks out from your due date is the time when the baby's crying peaks. The numer of hours of crying will slowly decline after this period. I work in Ob-Gyn so I do have some credibility. If a baby is born even 2 wks early then they are 8 wks old before the crying peaks. I am also a single mother and found it very difficult to do everything alone but it gets easier. Honestly, I didn't feel like everything (housework) was managed well until my son was 12-14 months old. Thats when his personality started getting a little more independant and he would let me set him down. I know 14 months sounds like a long time but when you get their you start missing the little baby stuff so enjoy it even though it's hard. Sleeping vs House work... I prefer my sleep. I have more patience and better health if I let the house work slide and get my sleep. If your house is clean but you can't keep your eyes open what's the point? Just remember that things do get easier.

Heather - posted on 06/15/2009

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Do you have a sling or a wrap for her? She's a bit young for back carries just yet if you're not experienced, but she's tiny enough that you should be able to do pretty much everything except frying or canning with her in a cradle hold or a front carry. The secret is to KEEP MOVING until she's all the way asleep. That's why you see older women who have had many children ROCKING incessantly even when there are no babies around (other than the youngest home from college on Spring Break) because we're not even aware that we're doing it any more. ;)

I like Cozy Cradle slings and a Moby or Sleepy Wrap for a newbie to make sure you like wrapping before you shell out the big bucks for a woven wrap.

Aimée - posted on 06/15/2009

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Do you have a carrier or sling you can wear? I put my son in one so that I could get things done around the house and he still felt like he was being held. There is no way to entertain a newborn, because everything is stimulating/entertaining to them. More often than not, they are over-stimulated, which can lead to an intense lack of comfort when they are put down with a bunch of stuff in their face. Just keep in mind that this phase will pass. One day she won't even be small enough to pick up anymore!

Christina - posted on 06/15/2009

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i have two children; devin who is 3 and hannah who is 5 months. my three year old keeps himself pretty occupied but hannah has a little bit more trouble. she doesn't take long naps either & she cries alot when she's not being held. unfortunately, things need to be done so i usually have to let her cry it out sometimes. if i didn't the house would be a disaster.

[deleted account]

Quoting Angelina:

it is a security thing #1 and #2 she could have gas and you holding her close releases some of the pressure Angelina


That's a good note too.  I don't remember which age, but there are different newborn gas remedies at the drug store. 



Speaking of which, I don't know if your dd gets breastmilk or formula.  But when my daughter was that young I switched her formula from Enfamil to Good Start (which was a lot less foamy) and it helped with her gas.

Angelina - posted on 06/15/2009

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it is a security thing #1 and #2 she could have gas and you holding her close releases some of the pressure Angelina

Tracey - posted on 06/15/2009

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It is really hard if you do not have a support network. If you do though ask for help. If you are the kind of person who would help a friend then be the kind of friend who is not too stubborn to put your hand up and ask for help - you will get your chance to pay them back in time. A couple of hours "me time"every now and again is a necessity for sanity. Always remember though that when she grows up she will not remember how clean the house was but how many times you made time for her and took her to the park.

[deleted account]

oh no! I typed out a response and it didn't take. I'll try to retype, sorry if it double posts.

First, congrats on the new baby! I remember 5 weeks old, what a special time :)

Second, i was going to suggest a sling or back pack also. Those play mats can come in real handy. Also, what saved me was the bouncy. We had the pink boppy papasan (sp?) bouncy that vibrated and played womb sounds. Lifesaver!

Another idea is for you to sleep with a receiving blanket or something, so that your scent gets on it. Then when you have to put her down, you can put that with her and she will still feel close to you and smell you :)

Good luck, and enjoy these times!!



PS: Don't worry if some chores don't get done. They won't! And they will still be there later :)

Alana - posted on 06/14/2009

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I have a 17 month old son who is as active as can be!!! He has been very alert since birth. The best thing is to get them one of those play mats that has a lot of colors on it. Babys that age LOVE colors because they are interested in what they are and why the hell they are so bright! lol. Also if they don't like the swing, you could get a baby sling. Those things work wonders when you want to do things around the house. Just make sure you don't do anything that would push up against the baby or be strenuous. Nap time is the best. When she finally does end up going to sleep. GET AS MUCH DONE AS POSSIBLE! You may be so tired its hard to keep your eyes open but believe me, its weellll worth it!! (o:

Mary - posted on 06/14/2009

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can you ask someone to help you out... maybe getting the housework or cooking done. or even taking the baby for a walk while you do things. Otherwise... sad to say, this is what it looks like to be a mom... there are times when you don't get it all done and have to do just the important things and let the other stuff wait. When my kids were young it seemed that there was always something that needed to get done.

My one daughter sounds a lot like yours. I use a back pack for a while... she got to touch me but I had my hands free. Good luck.

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