I don't think my boyfriend likes my kids

Whitley - posted on 03/06/2017 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. We moved in together two years ago. Since then I have repeatedly tried to help my children and him form a relationship. But no matter what I do I don't see much change. He does have a connection with my daughter. They have gotten very close but I see it mainly as her personality. She is very affectionate and in-your-face. However with my boys they are not. They also didn't like the fact that things change so much when we moved in together. There were more rules and someone else telling them what to do. But now after two years of living together we can't seem to go anywhere with the whole family and they're not be an issue. He is constantly aggravated by anything that they do. Anytime we go on vacation he already start warning them of punishments if they act up before they even do. He can't handle any noise or anything that comes with being a 10 & 11. He doesn't like the way they dress their music, their dance moves like the dab. And if he doesn't like it it's just wrong. He is 40 never been married and no kids. I love him but I feel like he is making me choose between him or my kids. I am to the point where I am miserable every time we go out because I know how he is going to act. I think it's time to go our separate ways. I've asked for advice from my father and a few friends and no real answer is a given.

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Nadine - posted on 03/08/2017

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If your kids were grown that would be one thing, but no child deserves to live in a house with a person who is a jerk to them. They are children. They are YOUR children and should come first. He is acting like a child. If it was me, and yes, I have been there, though we did not live together, I just decided that he needed to go.

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April - posted on 03/08/2017

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Hi! Blending families is hard to do. As much as you want your children and boyfriend to have a relationship, relationships cannot be forced. They will either form a bond together or they won’t. That really depends a lot on whether your boyfriend and the children really want to form a bond. I would encourage you to seek counseling for the entire family. If your boyfriend won’t go, that’s ok. You and your children can still go. This will help all of you to work through relationship issues and how you guys would like your family dynamic to look. The counselor can help you all develop healthy ways to grow and nurture the relationships in the family too. This has some neat ideas that have helped me also. http://bit.ly/2lFpXsm I’m praying you guys are able to come to a healthy solution for everyone!

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