I gave my daughter her fathers last name and I want to change it

Lizamalia - posted on 05/20/2010 ( 57 moms have responded )

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I want to change my daughters last name b/c I plan on changing mine for several of reasons. I dont really care what my daughters father thinks of it but does he have any rights to say no and stop the processing. I would kept it as it is but on the account that he doesnt do ANYTHING for her I want his name gone. No need of having a persons name if he's not there.

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Nikeyta - posted on 06/21/2013

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Hi, I just wanted to know if there was any success in the name change without the father's consent. I want to change my daughters last name for the same reasons and I'm wondering if I will get stopped in the process.

Laflaca - posted on 01/04/2014

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Hello I need some information my daughter have her dads last name and he is not involved in her life and also have domestic violence with him and I wanna change her last name to mine but does it matter if he signed the birth certificate do he have to sign any papers to agree of the change and I am scared of my daughter n me being next to him..

Erica - posted on 01/09/2014

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Hi everyone. So when my daughter was born my babys dad signed the birth certificate n she has his last name. I wanted to know if its possible to change her last name to mine??? because he does not help at all. She is 9 months n i live in chicago ill

[deleted account]

this sounds like EXACTLY what i have been trying to avoid...my bf and i have had a pretty rocky relationship already and i'm only 6 months pregnant. but he wants the baby to have his last name i said no way. i'm doing all the work and everything he barely does any of the work or help. he is really mad but still i won't budge. my son doesn't deserve to have his father's last name if he won't help. i said if maybe one day we get married then we will change it to his when i change mine but til then, i'm not taking chances and my son is getting mine.

[deleted account]

Hello! Changing our babies last names is something I am passionate about! And forgive me, but it is late, so I am going to paste a response I wrote on another post previously about this. But if you would like to know any more about what I went through changing my daughters name, just drop me a line and I would be more than happy to give you the details :)
**********
I am in MI, and I just changed my daughter's name to mine a couple months ago in February. She is under 2 years old. I filled out the papers at the county office, stating I wanted to change her name and a brief reason (my main reason was that he was not involved in her life, and that is all I put down). Then I had to mail him a copy of the papers and provide the court with "proof of service". Then a court date was set for about 8 weeks later. Of course, it helped a GREAT deal that he didn't even show up. But it was just one court date, not several for me. The judge asked me why, and I explained basically that her dad was a dead-beat. Then he granted it. The whole appearance only took about 10 minutes. I didn't use a lawyer, and in fact, my lawyer said I probably wouldn't be able to do it. But I had to at least try. The whole thing cost me under $300 when it was said and done, and it was one of the best days in my life. My advice is to at least try. The worst that can happen is that the judge says no. Also, in my state, if the father has no contact for 2 years you don't even need him to go to court. THat was not the case for me, but there had been enough history to show he wasn't going to change. It would have been a lot easier if he had agreed, but oh well. Another thing, at least in MI, it doesn't matter what name the child has - rights do not change. If he is listed on the birth certificate, nothing changes. And changing th e child's name does not change the birth certificate. The only way to legally change his rights is to go to court and fight (which is also what I did, and won).

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Kimberly - posted 1 day ago

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My ex is forced to pay child support and that's the only reason he does. My problem is just because he pays child support he has so many rights. This guy has 4 children, two before my daughter and one after and the only one out of the 4 that he doesn't bother with is my daughter, his only girl except for the less than minimum child support and neither does his family so my 7 year old has his last name and no one in her life has that last name so she wants mine. Yes I know now that I probably shouldn't have given her his last name but I can't take back what I did and the jerk never even signed the birth certificate but he won't let me change her name. I'm always looking things up about parental rights and all I ever see is well if the absent parent pays child support he has just as much rights, which really baffles me because what about the fact that he doesn't even call to talk to her or even to ask how she's doing let alone he never see's her so how can he have any say on changing her last name? Any idea's?

Clara Ortiz - posted on 11/16/2014

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Hi, I live in Chicago and I've been with my husband since my daughter was 3 years old she is 16 now and soon she will graduate from HS and I she wants to have her step father's last name.

Elizabeth Anne - posted on 08/31/2014

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i have a son to my ex he was involev for the first 4 years of my sons life but my son witnessed violence , emotional abuse, my ex has issues with alchol an an attemted suicide last year no thought to my son at all i have a restraning order aginst my ex an he is only allowed contact with my son through slicitors which he has nt bothered he sent a birthday card to my son an said he would give my son a present when he seems him this was nearly a year go , my son wont talk about his dad he is angry with him as my son wintenssed a violent assult last year . i was wondering how long i have t wait to change my sons surname as his father has made no attempt at all since he was removed by police due to the assault.

Tannerjustis - posted on 04/21/2014

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I hate the misuse of VPO's to abuse fathers and children with a passion. It's disgusting.

Shannon - posted on 03/28/2014

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My daughters father was there when she was born, but refused to sign the birth cert. And now that she is 6 years old she has no idea who he is. He has not paid chils support, which it was ordered when she was one. He only saw her 4 times and that was in the first year of her life. He had a protection order put on him in 2009 and it ended in 2011, and we have not heard or seen him since 2009. I want my husband of 5 years to adopt my daughter, but its hard to know what we can do since we have no idea where he is. We want what is best for my daughter, and she deserves a MAN who has been there for her, her whole life, instead of a POS that doesnt care.

Tannerjustis - posted on 03/09/2014

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"I don't really care what my daughters father thinks of it but does he have any rights to say no and stop the processing"

That says enough in and of itself but anyone with unbiased intelligence could feel to aweful tone of extreme bitterness this mother has from this post.

Her "account that he doesn't do ANYTHING for her" and she "want(s) his name gone" seems like retaliation for not getting her way somehow.

A narcissist demands control irrationally even at a child's expense. And worse yet their own child's expense.

But taking out all assumptions we know this from her own statement; she is concerned that the father will possibly care. How is this a father that is not involved when he could cause a mother to be afraid of not being able to do anything she wills with that child?

And put all of the previous statements aside and ask yourself what is her motive, and is it helpful to the child?

Please tell me that you guys aren't really this ridiculous and naïve...

Crystal - posted on 03/09/2014

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Didn't u read her post 'he does nothing for the child'. How is that kidnapping from a father who doesn't do s***.

Tannerjustis - posted on 02/22/2014

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There's no need to worry about the father stopping you if he truly isn't involved or doesn't care, but you all already know this and many of you are kidnapping your own children from their fathers which is destroying a part of them. But you prob don't care and would rather tell us how much you hate.

Teresa - posted on 02/06/2014

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Hi? My babies father isnt on the birth certificate, she just has his last name. Who that make things easier???

Sam - posted on 01/09/2014

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I hope he be a man enough to fight in court . He has a much right as you do

Lisa - posted on 01/09/2014

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I have a little boy that is alomost two and I want to know I go anout changing his last name to mine im only 19 and his dad has never done anything how do I go about starting to changed my little boy last name

Vaden - posted on 11/18/2013

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hello how can i change over my son Surname to my name. i am the father on he has is mother Surname, i live in Jamaica and my son live in New York he born in America he is 14 of age

Danielle - posted on 06/22/2013

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I did the smart thing when my son was born. I gave him the last name I wanted him to have. He has his grandmother's last name.

JPatrick - posted on 06/21/2013

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Not sure what state/country you all are in, but in NY (and most U.S. states I think), the issue of paternity/support is separate from the child's surname, is separate from who is on the birth certificate. If you sue for paternity/support, the dad can request to be added to the birth certificate as father. Mom still gets to name the child. However, father has a right to petition for name change. Courts usually consider the best interest of the child (so if dad was never involved and is just filing out of spite, they probably will not change the name; if mom gave kid dad's surname and he split, and now she wants to have the kid take her name, she has a good chance).

In my situation, I helped my cousin petition for his son's surname change when the baby's mother (1 night stand) named him at birth with her last name only. Since his son's birth (after the DNA test confirmed paternity), my cousin has always been involved with his son, supports him financially and has almost equal custody with the mother. I wrote the petition for name change, and the court agreed to hyphenate the child's last name to include both parents' surnames. If my cousin was not involved as a parent, the court probably would have denied it. It all depends on the facts.

Last caveat: in some states, if you are married, even if living apart and the child was someone elses', the law may presume that your husband was the child's father and require a DNA test to prove otherwise, unless the parties (you, husband and baby daddy) all agree to paternity, this could end up w/husband's name being on the b.c.

Donna - posted on 06/14/2013

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i have same problem, i have 2kids and both of them have the last name of their father..but we are not married and one thing more we are already separated and giving support to my children is dah! i want change their last name with mine...how could i do it? nd how would it cost?
hope somebody out there coyld help me...... plsssss

Genecar - posted on 06/07/2013

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I felt quite relief knowing that im not the only one who have this kind of issue.. Later this afternoon i went at my ex place to let the father's sign to affidavit of consent that allowing me to change my daughter's surname but they didn't cooperate knowing that he dont give full financial support to my daughter.. So my next steps.. 1st i can file criminal case that falls under RA 9262 that he can be put in jail for not giving support.. Then 2nd to file a petition to change entry of her surname.

Lizamalia - posted on 06/18/2010

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I havent been on here for a while and im loving the opinions and suggestions. Im saying Im not changing her name out of spite for him. In a way it is but its not. I dont have my fathers last name and I never met my father in my life but it doesnt bother me anymore I got over it. Shes gonna know him reguardless I mean whats in a name...wait ladies I need to make another subject remember I said i had to go to court for custody go to the new subject.

Amy - posted on 06/10/2010

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Hello,
I have changed my daughters name, from her fathers to mine. It was very easy to do, I think it all depends on if her father is on her birth certificate..if he is this means he has rights and that you will have to get him to agree to the name change.
You can do it by deedpollx

Brittany - posted on 06/05/2010

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well when my baby was born i told her father that if he signed the birth certificate that she could have his last name well he didnt and she has mine but a year later he signed it and the asked him if he wanted her last name changed and i had no say so if he wanted her to have his last name i had no say at that time but i told him if he changed her last name i would kick his butt and he did not earn the right for her to have his last name i do everhthing for my baby and he dont do nothing and if he wants the babys name to stay his then it will stay his

Christeen - posted on 06/03/2010

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I'd just change. There's no reason for him to have the same last name. It won't affect nothing. You can still get child support and everything.

Canedra - posted on 06/02/2010

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actually my daughter has her father's last name..iv never thought abt changing it because that is her father..im 20 yrs. old & her father hasnt been around in her first yr. of growin..needless to say he wont be around for a couple of yrs. -your child may question you later on in life..isay leave it..stabilty is important for a child,it hurts most when your child ask yu questions..there going to always have blood of there father flowing inside their veins..ithink mothers only do things like that to hurt the father not thinkin abt their child..im young & know these things...

Xiomara - posted on 06/02/2010

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I think you should do what you believe is best for you and your child. I fully support your decision to change your child's last name, and I think there is no reason in the world -moral, practical, social or financial- that should keep you from doing what you want to do in this situation.

Stacee - posted on 06/02/2010

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In Indiana, there is a $350 filing fee for paperwork. The paperwork is available for the name change from the library and the county court house. You must place 3 separate, and consecutive ads, in the local newspaper. You must bring in those ads after they have run into the court house. If no one shows up to the hearing or court date to go against the change, then it will be approved. You do not need his permission. You can indicate the father is not in the child's life and he has abandoned the child. Additionally, if you are getting married, perhaps your new husband will want to adopt the child. If so, this will reduce hassle with the current father and give the judge yet another reason to push through the name change. I wouldn't push for this necessarily because I think the actual father has a legal obligation to support his child financially (and emotionally) if possible. But again, consider the hassle involved and if anything will ever good come out of the situation. Sometimes it's better to just cut your loses and let your child get to know the father once they are an adult and can make wise decisions on their own.

Fiona - posted on 06/02/2010

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Hiya Sherry, If you think like that yes obs the 'dad' will be upset but maybe he should've participated more and been there more, or if he is not a positive role model or just does not care, us mums should think bout our childerns and our own feelings or who else will?Coz 'daddy' sure won't

Line - posted on 06/02/2010

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my personal opinion might not matter, but i have to say this...
my son never had his father in his life, but has his last name anyway because identity wise - he is his father no matter what kind he is! When they are adults they might bond in a relationship and the child will surely want to wear that name, but will have to go through a lot of hassle emotionally and technically.

No matter what kind of father the guy is, he did put a child into the world and by bringing up your son with love and forgiveness, she or he can grow up as a loving human being who won't begrudge his father being absent, and that would be healthier for her. Taking that name away shows your child anger you are feeling and can build many reprocautions in her life that are negative. not healthy to be brought up in anger!

just my thought and hope it helps!
Good luck.
L.

Catherine - posted on 06/02/2010

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If he's not involved with her life he won't care what her last name is. Whether you need his permission or not. Me personally, I would go through the courts. Good luck!

Juliet - posted on 06/02/2010

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please go ahead and change the names. it will save you alot of stress having to call ur daughter by her fathers name and yet he has done nothing for her.

Kelly - posted on 05/29/2010

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im from the uk so over here we get up to the first birthday to change the baby's name as long as the father not on it which im glad my son got my name an the donor aint on the birth certificate thank goodness as he not been in my son's life since he was 3mths old an he almost 1yr now he never paid or pays child support as i dont want him having any rights over my son as he a waste of space GOOD LUCK HUNNI HOPE YOU GET IT CHANGED

Shanika - posted on 05/29/2010

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I agree and feel the dame way about my daughter's last name. On here (Circle of Moms) she has my last name, but legally- its his and i put it there while the lowlife sat at the foot of my hospital bed. I would end up doing EVERYTHING by myself. So i feel u on this topic. But i have asked around with lawyers and all and they said that the father has a right to stop and deny the name change. My daughter told her dad that she wants my last name only, and he tried to convince her to change her mind, till this day she still wants it, my lawyer told me to wait till i have sole custody to make a request for the name change.

Ashley - posted on 05/29/2010

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I would also like to know how to do this, my daughter has her "dad"s last name and he doesnt come around. i get child support from him but thats it. He tells everyone that i keep her from him,but he wont answer my calls or texts, and everytime we make plans he never shows up. He has threatend to take me to court over visitation,but how can he do that if he is the one that never shows up?! I wish i knew what i know now, back when i put him on her birth certificate!

Tracy - posted on 05/29/2010

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I completely agree with you. Im kind of in that same situation. My son doesn't know who his dad is and its quite sad. My son thinks my dad is his dad. I have sole legal and physical custody of him and I dont think that someone who doesn't make him a priority should have his last name either. I would check with your state and where you filed custody papers with. Talk to a lawyer they will be able to tell you if you can do it legally. Hope this helps.

GLORIA - posted on 05/29/2010

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I was married to my ex-husband for 11yrs. Since my son was around 2months old I wanted to change his whole name (he is named after his father), but I never did. It bothered me because his father is a dead beat but I got over it. Its only a name and my son is doing damn well proving this. He is smart, out going, loves to try new and exciting things he is also a published author(All this without a father) Once you get over the hurt, realize its only a name and concentrate on what is important thats when you see it doesnt even matter. Your child knows whos there and whos not.

Kristin - posted on 05/29/2010

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You know I checked into this about a month ago..and if you have proof that the father hasn't been in the picture for a year..you can send a name change to the Office of vital Records along with 30.00 and get it changed and that came from a lawyer...I'm in the same boat as you and that is what I'm doing...

Kelli - posted on 05/28/2010

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Unfortunately until she is 16 you cannot change her last name, i'm going through it at the monent, my daughter has had her fathers nane for 16 yr 's and now by her own choice she wants to change it. only now she can as she is old enough! leaglly they have to have that name till they are 16....

Danette - posted on 05/28/2010

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Lil sis, not having his name gone doesn't mean he leaves her - he's in her blood. I know you angry with him I've been there. My ex-husband walked out on us but it didn't change the fact that his son and daughter where his kids and still have his last name. A child should have their father's name. My son and daughter made better of the name, and they did it without daddy. When daddy got it together and came back around they were doing the damn thing - and guess who couldn't take an ounce of credit for it. Imagine how guilty he felt when all he could say was - well they have my last name while everyone knew he did nothing to help them honor that name.

Amanda - posted on 05/28/2010

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I went through this too you have to have him sign the paper work to have her name changed! is pretty simple to do just contact the department of human services or your local courts and they will tell you what papers you need and the cost!

good luck, I ended up having to give my son both names because is father would not sign the paper work so we compromised!

Jamie - posted on 05/28/2010

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I'm speaking because I am 25 years old who has lived my entire life carrying a mans last name that is not my father. I have three kids & I make sure they had their fathers last name. You can change the name if you want but you can not change the DNA. Regardless if he's not in the childs life, God will see you to it that he's held accountable for not taking care of his child. My opinion is that its not about the parent, its about that the child. If you have your fathers last name then by all means go for it. If I had my fathers name my kids definitely have my last name, but due to the circumstances my kids have their fathers last name. I'll be changing mine to my father's in the near future.

Caroline Jayda - posted on 05/26/2010

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i think you're doing the right thing by changing it, i gave my son my last name because i knew i'd be the only real parent. and your daughter probably won't want a deadbeat's name anyway so good luck

Lauren - posted on 05/24/2010

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I did the same thing. I gave my son his father's last name and I want to change it since he has not been involved since I had my son 9 months ago. I went down to the family court here in Las Vegas and I was told that it would cost quite a bit of money to change it, and that I would have to put an ad in the newspaper announcing the change for a year at my own expense, then on top of all that because he is on the birth certificate, we would have to have a court date where he would have to agree to relinquish his parental rights. Now here is the kicker, if he relinquishes rights, he doesn't have to pay child support.

Red - posted on 05/23/2010

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I think your doing the right thing. Mom know best what is right for there kids.

Connie - posted on 05/23/2010

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I changed both of my kids names too. I had to use a lawyer but it helped . I am from Michigan. I had to have him served with papers I also had to have it published in a newspaper within a certain radius of either my home or his. I had proof of his numerous addresses and he had not paid his full amt. was in major arreas, and hadn't physically seen them in years and the judge granted it. I did however change my sons whole name he went by his middle so we removed the first name moved over the middle he went by and added a new middle. So that could be why the lawyer was needed. Good luck to you !!

Sherry - posted on 05/21/2010

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Well you must have your reasons to do that, but I think is not right because it is his child also and besides if he did sign the birth certificate it is going to be hard.

Andrea - posted on 05/21/2010

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he does do not do anything for your child then change it are you married to him. because if not oh well like my best friend said he will get over it.

Lizamalia - posted on 05/21/2010

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I just found out in Va its like 39 dollars to change your name! I thought it was an arm and a leg to get it changed so thats why I never had it changed. We're suppose to go to court I filed for sole custody and hopefully it will be granted because he was never there and when he is he gets violent b/c he thinks he knows best! THanks elizabeth I will surely do it do it do it

Ebony - posted on 05/20/2010

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If the law still stands you can only change their name like that during their 1st yr. But if it's past that then yeah, you're going to need his permission. Have him give up custody if he isn't her life then he should have no problem signing paperwork that gives you primary status if your child. Then at this time, also petition to have her named changed so it's all done at once. I changed my son's full name changed.

Vanessa - posted on 05/20/2010

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Is his name on her birth certificate? If so, you need his permission to legally change her name.
I'm marrying again next year and my surname will be different to my sons - nothing I can do about it until he's much much older!
Good luck!

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