I just need to vent but if anyone has advice its welcome

Valerie - posted on 08/02/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm 23 years old with a 5 year old son, His father loves him a lot. I found out a couple of weeks ago that I am 23 weeks pregnant with my second child (it is my ex's aka my sons father) My sons father and I have been broken up for over 2 years and he has a girlfriend(the one he cheated on me with) but when I found out I was pregnant from him I made him tell her that he had cheated on her with me and that this is the outcome because I dont think thats something you lie to another person about (plus why should I be the whore) when he told her obviously they broke up and she was mad at him. Now he wants to walk away from his family being me his son and the new baby just so maybe she will be with him. I had said to him that he can walk away and not be involved and I wont hate him but I dont want him to walk away from his son the one who depends on him and already has a relationship but I feel that if he stays with this girl she will throw a fit everytime he comes to see his son because the baby will be here also and I'm not letting my sons father take him to her house because I dont want to risk anything bad happening to him or her saying something bad about me to his father and he hear I never speak bad about hs father in front of him. On top of all this I also watch my 18 month nephew and I'm a SAHM and when I was in labor with my first my water broke luckily at the Dr's office and labor was only 4 hours and 20 mins I guess I'm just afraid that if I'm home alone that I wont be able to get to the hospital plus my son starts kindergarten in a few weeks and I wouldnt want him to be stuck at school because I'm having a baby.... I guess I just have a lot going through my head. If any one has any advice i would easily take it I feel so lost right now... But Excited to have a second baby I cant wait

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Billie - posted on 08/02/2010

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Well if he's willing to walk away from your children to be with the next woman, I hope that tells you what you need to know so that you don't continue the cycle with him any further. That said, get him on some child support so that at least he'll have to come up with something to help his children. The relationship he has with them is his own to make. You can't force that. If he does regain his senses and try to be a part of their lives you may have to allow the children to visit with him and the girlfriend over night. You'll just have to carefully monitor how they leave your custody vs how they come back to you. If you feel any shady business is going down document everything and then work with a lawyer to get a custody/visitation agreement set up so that if they do bad mouth you or do anything harmful or neglectful to your child, they will have to have supervised visits. Best of luck and try to stay strong mama. Give it some time for the situation to cool off and for everyone to start thinking clearly. Hopefully it'll all work itself out.

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