I'm confused!!!! Please read its long but I'm needing help

Mindy - posted on 05/29/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Well me n my x husband split up on march 2012 it's been about 2 months ...we would fight a lot but not to the point that things couldn't been fixed. Well I kicked him out because he didn't want to give me my position as his wife and mother of his 2 kids against his mom. I have to mention she is very mean and disrespectful. Well the things here is that I asked him to come back n he said it was better of that way because we would fight a lot weeks when by and I mention it back to him on a text he never reply I do see him every weekend when he sees takes my kids for the weekend and when I see him I don't feel that love for him. I guess because I'm hurt well he stares at me with glowing eyes and I feel he does still love me but his actions don't say the same thing I did file for divorce on April I found out he had a fb account open for almost a year and he has some girls with only there panties on with a bra. He is so disrespectful when I found out it broke my heart. Well I did file thinking it would be a wake up call to my surprise he did respond now we are just waiting for our meditation appointment. From what I know he doesn't have a gf or lover well the part that I'm confused about is "does he really not care about me" now I'm pretty not being conceded and I'm sexy he had what I feel he wanted Why does he confuse me? For example I'm taking our son to Disneyland and he asked me in a text message if he could come I told him to ask my son 2 yr old well he reply and said oh he said yes I told him okay and he reply once again saying let me know when so I can get the day off well just yesterday I told him that it would be better if I take them this time alone becuz i didnt want to confuse them and he could go with them some other time his response was"Are your serious if that's what u think okay let me know if you change your mind" I told him I don't want to confuse my kids he just told we will talk about later. So I'm so confused come on now we are getting divorced isn't that what he wants?? Help me girls

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Kristin - posted on 05/30/2012

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I think maybe your husband is also confused and may be giving you what he thinks you want as you are the one who filed for divorce. Have you tried sitting down and asking him what it is he wnts exactly? If he does want to work on the marriage than maybe you can look into marriage counselling. But you also need to ask yourself do you love this man and do you want it to work? Because if you dont love him than you need to move on. I am friends with my ex husband still we married way to young and for the wrong reasons but we have a son together and I will always care about him as he is the father of my child and it is better to be friends than enemies. Being pretty and sexy are not the only things that matter in a marriage, there needs to be trust and emotional support, security, love and friendship. The man i am with now is my best friend. It sounds to me like you and your husband are seriously lacking in communication as to what you both want. He feels you filed for divorce, you said no dont come to disneyland and he is respecting what you want and what you have asked for. if this is not what you want then you need to communicate that to him, Also take into account you are the one who kicked him out so I think you really need to decicde what you want. You cant blame him for his mother being rude to you; if you have an issue with his mother than that needs tyo be resolved by you and his mother and if you both love him and want him to be happy you will be able to resolve things. It is very hard for a man to choose between his wife and his mother and mothers are territorial and protective when it comes to their children. Maybe try some family counselling or even counselling for yourself. I hope this helps and good luck. I do hope you and your husband can work this out, as I feel that you both still do love each other.