I need some help with custody issues

Traci - posted on 03/30/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My ex is...to say the least, worthless. I have a 3 1/2 month old and he has yet to give me any kind of child support. I have a pending court date for it, but now I'm wondering if I should file for full custody? He has a past that includes jail, rehab (for drugs) and is currently living in a halfway house. It all sounds bad, but how much proof do I need to either get sole/full custody or to make his visitations supervised? I've never had to deal with courts and I'm scared to death that he'll get joint custody and I'll have to leave my baby with him every other weekend. I just need some advice from people who have been down this road so that I can make the best choices for my son. Thanks a lot!

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Amy - posted on 03/31/2009

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Were you guys married? and what state are you in? There are a lot of different laws in different states but if you werent married you should have sole legal custody and thats a good starting off point!!!!!

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It is important that you apply for SOLE custody. Custody needs to be determined because if he takes your child and refuses to return him/her the police won't do anything because he is the legal father and custody has not been established. He is probably going to end up with some type of visitation. You can ask for supervised visitation and also ask the court to do a home study, psych eval, ect. Just make sure you are very verbal with your concerns. Good Luck!!!

Jamie - posted on 03/30/2009

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Mine has a similar past. Not really much jail (or atleast none on record), and no drug treatment. My daughter is 3 1/2, and I have had little to no support. Depending on where you are from, it's not difficult to get full custody. I filed for it, and he did not respond so I got what I wanted. However, if he did respond, sounds like his record would be enough. the part on the custody paper that talks about visitation, mark revised visitation plan. I put "mother and father will discuss and agree upon visitation" Reason: Father has a history of drug use. Hope this helps!

Heather - posted on 03/30/2009

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If you have a lawyer it would make this situation alot easier. But if you have proof of his life style and express your concerns during the court hearing it sounds as if you would have a good argument on achieving full custody of your child. Gather all your documents together that shows proof of his life style and write a letter to the judge of your feelings and how you would like the custody to be arranged. But deffinantly if able to get a lawyer or public defender I would highly suggest it Good luck to you

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Wendy - posted on 04/03/2009

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Courts always make decisions on the "best interest of the child". Getting custody should not be hard considering your ex's past. Child support is another issue. Resolve yourself to the fact that you will have to go it alone with little or NO child support. I am doing it.

Kimberly - posted on 04/03/2009

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Since your ex has a history and if you are the most fit parent ask for full custody. Each state varies. I certainly would ask for supervised visitation until he can prove he is stable and determined not to be any threat to your child.



 



Bring these issues up before the judge (or have your lawyer if you have one), it may be in both of your best interest to take a parenting class dealing with co-parenting. Any details that you may not agree on you can always get a mediator to help you come up with a family care plan.

Traci - posted on 04/02/2009

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funny you mention that b/c a friend of mine just called tonight and said I should hire one...LOL! I think the anxiety of it all just makes it scary and I just need to dive in and get the ball rolling.

Amy - posted on 04/02/2009

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If you were never married it should be a lot easier for you to get sole custoday! and Private investigator????

Traci - posted on 03/31/2009

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We were never married and we live in Delaware. I know that this state tends to "favor" the mothers but I can't rely on that. I am setting up a consultation with a lawyer before I send in the paperwork. My biggest concern is just not being able to gather the proof I need since most of it is drug and health related (which I believe is confidential). Thanks for all your help and advice.

Chicora - posted on 03/31/2009

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I dont like to really jugde people but Traci its seems like you have more on him to get sole/full custody...I dont no all about the courts that much, but what I no is that you have to look out for the best interest of your child and he is not stable right now...When you go to court bring up the situation and see what the judge says...I wish you the Best of Luck

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