I recently found some marijuana and strange looking pills under my daughter's bed. What should I do?

Susan - posted on 05/14/2010 ( 46 moms have responded )

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There really seemed to be a lot of marijuana, along with something that looks like a pencil sharpener and some aquarium tubing. There are a lot of pills too. I never thought my daughter would do drugs or anything like this, it breaks my heart. Help me moms!

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Sarah - posted on 07/08/2013

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I wouldn't be so angry about the marijuana use but the pills??? Talk to her about how you are very against the use of pills, demand to know what they are, and show her dangers of narcotic abuse. The pills may be ecstasy... I've done it before but it is not something I am proud of, nor is it something I allow my kids to use

Chevone - posted on 05/29/2010

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Not sure what to say, but what comes to mind is good luck and nip this in the butt now before it is too late (some children are able to experiment and move on while others experiment and become addicted) - talk to an addiction counsellor and ask them for advice on how to handle the situation and how to best approach this without making your daugther feel that you betrayed her trust by "snooping" in her room, etc.

Jennifer - posted on 05/23/2010

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OKAY!!!!! 1st and formost, SHE IS USING!!!! There in no way in hell she is holding any of that 4 her friends. You do need to sit her down and talk 2 her. BUT 1ST you need to brush up your skills on the subject, do some reserch on the issue. know what you up against before you fall for some lame excuse. I know my mom did!!! and to this day i wish thing were different. Remove the stuff, and talk 2 her. and allow her to come to you, no matter what theissue is. be there 4 her.

Edna - posted on 05/21/2010

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You need to talk to to her,it may be a case where she may just be holding it for a friend and you'd just have to advise her to not do it because of the problems with the law and how she could be arrested for just holding it and also the fact that she put the house hold at risk as well !

Staci - posted on 05/21/2010

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Wow, I'm actually quite surprised that you actually feel you have to defend yourself for being in her room. Privacy is one thing, but I don't think she's paying rent. And don't buy the "I'm in pain" thing. She's only a freshmen in high school..if she's in real pain, that's what the doctor is for. She's using it to get high, period!

If she's smoking Oxy, she needs to get help NOW. Christian values are not going to help physical addiction at first. They will come through in the end hopefully...but the physical will take over faith any day.

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Danielle - posted on 07/11/2013

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Explain to her how you feel about it and the dangers of using drugs. It's not a road she wants to start down. You can go to drugs.com and put the description of the pills in a search to find out what they are. And let her know you will not tolerate any drug use.

Lana - posted on 03/11/2013

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I am in the similar situation, just found a stash in my daughter room- breaks my heart
Now what ??

Teresa - posted on 05/28/2010

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I found some strange looking stuff in my sons room and found out that it was and new way for kids to get a"high" but it is poision,
talk with your daughter, take away her things, explain to her that you love and are cocernd for her well being... I'm still working through mine with my son... goodlcuk

Kelly - posted on 05/22/2010

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I SAY THE SAME THING TALK TO HER....YOU KNOW KIDS GONNA DO WHAT THEY WANNA EVENTHOUGH YOU HAVE SHOWED THEM THE RIGHT WAY TO BE...DON'T BE HARD ON YA SELF ....JUST REMIND HER OF HOW MUCH TROUBLE SHE COULD HAVE GOT IN IF U HADN'T FOUND IT....THEN GIVE HER SOME CONCEQUENCES

Felicia - posted on 05/22/2010

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the tubing of the fish aqyarium is use to make a steam roller i only know this cuz when i was 15 i use to smoke pot to and the pills can be dangerous id try to seek help for her cuz if u dont do anything then it could lead to more problems and even death

Marissa - posted on 05/21/2010

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The thing that looks like a pencil sharpener is a grinder. I'm a young mom, and still a teenager. I went through the weed stage, but my mom never found out. I would come home and sleep all day from being drunk and high, and she had no reason to not believe what I was telling her, because I had her talk to parents, and see me get picked up, and even meet parents.

I wish my mom would have found out. Although, now that I have my bbygirl, I am completely drug free!

Shannon - posted on 05/21/2010

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I watched a film in my late teens called Gia. It's about a supermodel who was the first famous woman to contract AIDS. She died really young and caught it from a contaminated needle. It really put me off experimenting with drugs. It's got an 18s cert here and theres some sexual (and homosexual) scenes so that might put you off but I think it's worth watching a film that shows drugs in a strong negative light. It's very disturbing to watch someone going through rehab, dying, losing control or even just being sick. My reccomendation would be to find the strongest film you can manage and see if you can make the point to her that way. I had a codeine addiction in my late teens (it had been prescribed by my doctor originally) and coming off it 6 months later was hell on earth.

Ginger - posted on 05/21/2010

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Dont allow her or yourself to "dance with the Devil"....There is no reason that should be acceptable .A firm unwaivering boundry system is the only remedy....It is not about judgment or control .It is SAFETY that must be the priority....Do not allow your guilt to be your guide.....Get professional help as soon as possible..(i.e.counseling)It is a monster that takes on a life of its own...Please dont be foolish or lazy about this.STOP IT NOW AND PREVENT ALL POSSIBILITIES OF DANGER ......

Laura - posted on 05/21/2010

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Do not buy 'excuses'. If she does not have a prescription for these meds, she's obtaining them illegally. Even WITH a prescription, over use can cause the body to simply stop breathing. Take her to see the Doctor if you have to. But DO NOT buy the common 'excuses and justification ' that comes with drug use. As for why you were looking under her bed.. Tough, you owe no explanations. Tell her when she starts to act like she's responsible she will be treated as so..for now, she loves under YOUR roof, she has to earn privacy. I'd take her door off...But that's just me, some would think that as being 'to harsh'. I do not care.. I will so what ever I have to in order to stay between drugs & alcohol and my children.

Donna - posted on 05/21/2010

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my son is 22, but an active bipolar & on about 6 differant meds, in the last 6 mons I have found 3 bags of marijuana & a pipe to smoke it in. I took them & never mentioned it to him until I found the pipe, then I mentioned it, told him that he shoild know that mixing drugs w/ his meds is dangerous & also reminded him that my brother/ his uncle died 4 & 1/2 yrs ago from an accidental od at the age of 30. I also told him that anyone who leaves this kind of stuff where it can be found wants to be caught. I told him that I will never stop looking for it if he gives me a reason to & that I don't want to lose another person due to drugs. good luck

[deleted account]

It's a tough situation that I don't think can be solved with any one approach. It depends on the relationship you have with your daughter. I would have them sitting on a table and be sitting at it when she comes home or whatever. I'm all for letting a person talk first rather than flying off the handle, which I'm sure is something that you don't want to do. It's a delicate situation whatever you decide to do. You think you know everything when you're 15 so it's hard to know what will happen. She may scream, she may cry, she may try to lie to you. Whatever happens it all depends on your trust on your child.

Then if it were my mother she would punish by taking away the one thing that matters most...

I can honestly say that I don't know how I would handle such a situation. I remember how much of a bitch I was at that age... best of luck.

Ebony - posted on 05/20/2010

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Well my 1st thought was to say Beat her ass, smoke the marijuana and sell the pills! But that wouldn't solve anything would it? Talk to her. Kinds these days are faced with pressures we weren't. Like our parents didn't understand our generation, we truly don't understand theres. But this is the best part, we are part of a generation that can bridge the gap and have a better view into what our kids go through. Peer pressure hasn't gotten any better and the quick money that comes with all of that doesn't exactly make it hard for kids to say no! It's way to easy to get and if you punish her it probably will just make her find a better way of hiding it. If you truly want to make an impression that will last a life time do something unconventional! Think outside the box! I would sit her down and find out why she had it. was it for personal use or distribution! If personal use, we would have a serious fucking problem! Just being honest and I would suggest rehab! Quick! If for distribution, then I would have her bag her weed and package her pills properly for distribution. Mind you all of this is front of me so WE can see how much YOU are going to make ME! Then after she tally's up my total I would give her this business lesson. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. THIS BACK IN THE DAY WAS CALLED STRONG ARMING SOMEONE BUT TODAY WE ARE GONNA CALL IT IT'S MY HOUSE! MY RULES! YOU HAVE SAID AMOUNT OF DOLLARS ON "MY" TABLE, THAT I LOCATED UNDER YOUR BED IN MY HOUSE! SINCE YOU FEEL YOU ARE GROWN ENOUGH TO HANDLE SUCH DRUGS I'M GOING TO NEED "MY" MONEY BY THE END OF THE WEEK OR YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU NOW WORK FOR ME! SELL YOUR STASH AND BRING ME MY MONEY! THEN I WILL GO SHOPPING AND SPEND MY MONEY ANYWAY I CHOOSE TO CAUSE THIS IS MY HOUSE AND NONE OF MY KIDS WILL SELL DRUGS IN IT! Then after she gets over the initial shock of what you just said, she gonna be even more upset that the cash she was going to get is now coming to you and she has to watch you spend it. Crime pays...OTHER PEOPLE! And if you choose to do this crime in my house THIS WILL HAPPEN EVERY TIME I CATCH IT IN MY HOUSE! She will never forget the day her mother sat down and weighed out every gram of weed to sell and never got to spend the profits!!!!

Andrea - posted on 05/20/2010

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Pot is not a "gateway drug" they used to say that back in the day. She's too young to be doing any of that, but I hate when people say that. A log of people use it for pain, so saying goofy things like "it's a gateway drug" is just silly anymore, it's not the 80's!

You really should talk to your daughter though. My parents were always really straight forward with me saying "I know you're going to, so let's talk about it and the affects it could have and consequences you may face" Them being like that and saying I could always go to them "no questions asked" actually kept me from doing any of those things. My parents were strict with my brother and told them not to do those things and yelled and went through their stuff and they did smoke and drink. My parents weren't like that with me and I didn't...
I really think just being straight forward and not scolding helped me to not do it, and how I will approach it with my kids when they get older.

Jennifer - posted on 05/20/2010

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Talk to your daughter asap dont wait! Tell her you found it, you dont have to justify what you are doing in her room etc. its your house and she is a minor. Dont confront in an angry way because it will close her off to you but do get serious. Sit her down and tell her it wont be tollerated. Find out what she has tried and is doing and if needed get her into some councelling.

Kelli - posted on 05/20/2010

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that is a very serious pain killer and being the mother of 2 teens I know what you are going thru. Get her help make her understand that she is killing herself with these drugs. You have to be tough mom No excuses she knows its wrong and you have to do something and make it stop or she will get into harder drugs trust me. Don't close your eyes and keep an open mind to the situation. You are in my thoughts.

Jennifer - posted on 05/19/2010

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Just a thought, but if you haven't noticed changes in her mood, appearance, grades, etc...she might not be using....she might be selling.

Michele - posted on 05/19/2010

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I agree with Michelle- do not call the police!! However, do not fall for the "I was holding it for a friend" line. Even if that WAS the truth, she was in possession of it, her friends are doing it, and eventually, she will. You need to meet this head on and lay down rules and consequences for her ever having drugs again. It sucks that you have to deal with it, but it's better you found it before the police or, God forbid, the coroner.

Ronda - posted on 05/19/2010

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Wow-like others have said..get a support team and let her know you love her and will help her without judgment Lots of good advice given, one more thought (I know from own experience) most people while using are very good manipulators and will say anything in order to keep getting high. And just to be safe, if she claims its a friends,have her take a drug test, I believe you can purchase your own kit. Stay strong, stay calm and get support. She may not understand now, but she will. You are a good mom and you may have just saved her life! God Bless

Sharon - posted on 05/19/2010

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Oh u must be out of ur mind with worry. The sharpener type thing grinds the marijuana into smaller pieces and makes it last longer. The tube could be part of a bong, which is a bottle of water u can inhale the weed thru.How old is ur daughter hun? Im gonna try add u now ok? xxxxx (Sharon Blythe Manchester England)

[deleted account]

Oxycontin is a drug that has killed many people. It's nothing to play with. Marijuana isn't as deadly, but can cause other issues. Really, you need to talk to her about this. If she asks why you were in her room, let her know the truth. You wanted to surprise her and you were heart broken to find the drugs in the process. That should be a wake up call for her! If you don't help your daughter now, something tragic may happen and you may not have a daughter anymore. I know that may sound harsh, but it's better to make her angry than to bury her ):

Julie - posted on 05/18/2010

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Your daughter is very possible trying to fill a void in her life -



Take the items and she will have to ask you if you've seen them... then reassure her of your love and talk it out.



We all do silly things as teens - trying to find out what fits (or, doesn't) us the best.



ABOVE ALL - don't overreact or condemn or you will lose her at this very critical age in her life... when she is trying to find herself and understand what life is really all about -coupled with hormones that are speaking loudly in her life

Michelle - posted on 05/17/2010

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Whatever you do, do NOT call the police! Depending on where you live, they might not charge her for the pot but she WILL get charged for Oxycontin, and if she has a lot of it, they could charge her with felony possession or distribution. Having those on her record could prevent her from getting accepted to major universities, getting jobs, etc. Get her help if she needs it, definitely talk to her, but the worst thing you could do for her future is make her have a felony record for something dumb she's doing at age 15. Have you talked to her yet?? Good luck!

Phoebe - posted on 05/17/2010

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How can you be sure it is hers? I know that might sound silly, but I'd make sure she wasn't holding for a friend before I leased fury on her ...
She been OK in all other aspects?

Nichele - posted on 05/16/2010

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She is on drugs. plain and simple. Whether she admits it or not. You have to get her help immediately. Shes not gonna like it, but it could save her life.

[deleted account]

Im 19 and a single mom when my mom found out i was usin dagga along time ago she sat me down and didnt confront me but asked me things about school and boys and if i was feeling lonly which i felt was a bit wierd and then she told me stories of her and her friends that did drugs and what happened to them and her she then assured me that if there was anything that i needed to tell her it would be ok i then told her i was doing dagga and she never once looked hurt or angry but she just listened so maybe get some one to talk to her or use a example it wont always work to confront her harshly she may just need understanding and patcience it could also be that she is scared and worried about her new school ... my mom after i told her worked with me to overcome it not against me and supported me ..its a shock to the body and mind of any parent who finds that out but it will take time hope i could be of some help

Margaret - posted on 05/16/2010

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Wow. I really feel for you. Are you a single mom? If not, get your husband together and confront her now. My biggest mistake as a single mom was not having the ability to control my own daughter. I remember when I was a teen sneaking around and doing juvenile things. Today is different though. Drugs are prevalent everywhere. Don't let her con you. If you are a single mom, find a pastor or church elder to help you sort this out. You need to lay the law down NOW that this won't be tolerated in your house and make it mandatory that she gets some type of counseling. She may already be an addict and out of control. Either way, she needs help and if she won't respond to you, she needs an authority figure that she respects that she will respond to.

This won't just go away. You will regret it if you don't crack down now. I know, I am speaking from experience. I believed all of the lies and stuck my head in the sand praying that all would be well. I made very poor decisions in my younger days as a mom and although God kept His promise - "train up a child in the way s/he should go and when s/he gets old, s/he will not depart from it", I felt the guilt for not being more strict for many years.

I suffered all of the consequences along with my children because I had no back up system. Get both of you help and support and do it today.

Danielle - posted on 05/16/2010

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I did a 9 and a half month program at rehab for the use of every drug. She isn't using the oxys to cover physical pain, but emotional pain. Something is going on in her life that she doesn't want to deal with. Thats why drug addicts use drugs. Oxys are hard to get off and even harder to stay off of. You need to be real and talk with her. Don't get mad at her, don't bawl your eyes out. Tell her you'e being real with her, you want to know whats going on, and you'd like to help her with her issues and drug use if you can, and if you can't, you'll find anyone in your power too.... I have a 7 week old son, i'm a survivor of addiction...I'd do anything to help my son if he started to use, and i'll do anything in my power to help him not to use... started doing drugs when i was 11 btw, im 21 now and have 1 year 8 months sober.

Jennifer - posted on 05/15/2010

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honestly, i went through the same stage, but not pills, just weed. one of my sisters had a pill problem when she was around that age. you want to take what you find and flush them (after finding out what they are). the pills she could just have experimented with or she could be hooked on them. if that is an issue with both, then perhaps you should look into some out-patient rehab. that will most likely do the trick

Dawn - posted on 05/15/2010

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Did you take it out of her room? I would have taken it all, then searched the rest of the room and then sat her down and told her what you found. You need to ask her why she is doing drugs, that it is illegal, you are responsible for her, is she selling them? And if you own your own house it can be taken from you because she had drugs in the house. You need to stay calm, do not get angry!. There are lots of books out there to help you and your daughter with this. kids do drugs cause they are unhappy about something in there life, and you need to get to the bottom of it, your her mom, its important that you get involved.

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2010

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she is most likely taking the oxycontin to get high, not for pain. it is the equivilent to heroin in a pill. my advice is if she wont talk to you get her into some therapy, possibly even admit her to a residentail treatment program... dont feel bad about her missing out on high school and friends, she would probably only miss a few months of going to regular school, and some of these programs include school time and therapy time and mainly she will not be able to use! my mom sent me to a treatment program after unsuccessful therapy and several times in the hospital for detox, it was my senior year of high school when i finally went to the residental treatment facility and i missed my high school prom, but it was totally worth it! i understand now that my mom did what was best for me, even though i said the meanest things to her when it happened. My mom and i were always close too, and she was completely shocked when she first found out i was doing drugs(smoking pot, pills, and eventually cocaine, it started when i was 12, she didnt find out until i was 14) good luck i will keep you in my prayers.. if you want to talk more about this you can send me a message!

Brittany - posted on 05/15/2010

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ps as a parent you have a right to "snoop" to make sure your daughter is safe and keeping out of trouble. My mom read my diaries which i didn't know until i was older and was pissed about but doing something like that which is something so small will keep her out of bigger situations.

Brittany - posted on 05/15/2010

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When I was at that age I never listened to my mother no matter what. I smokes pot and the best thing you can do for a teen age girl is scare it out of her. Talking will not do because girls esp. don't care what their parents think or say. Call the cops tell them what's going on and have them come to he house and scare her. Because she's a minor they can't do anything but scare her. Let them take her for 24 hours and send her to juvie. Once she sees what it's like she'll most likely not touch the stuff. If you think she's at the point where she's got an addiction problem, nip it in the butt and take her to get help. Of course she's going to say not but they don't listen to her they listen to you because you are her parent.

Kathy - posted on 05/15/2010

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Being a former drug user myself, I have told my kids not to even bother with them. Most are not what they seem. I think the best way to get kids to stop is to show them first hand what happens and get them help. The local police dept is the best place to start :) they realize that sometimes good kids fall in with the wrong crowd. Do get counseling to find out what is going on for her to do them in the first place. It mayb her " only" way to fit in at school. Thats how i started btw. Life at home sucked and I had no friends. I started to do drugs and found a few people wanting to hang out with me. I fit in for once. I know what can happen if you do nothing. First thing she should know is that you realize she made a mistake and you LOVE her anyway :)

Caina - posted on 05/15/2010

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Oxycontin is a very popular drug that people are abusing heavily these days. Its an easy drug to find on the streets. For some pot makes the pain worse. If she got hurt you would have known. Don't take any excuses for her using drugs. If she is taking pills they should be prescribed by her dr not from a friend or off the streets. Who knows for sure what pill you are getting when you buy them off the street. Very dangerous. YOu need to talk to her and let her know that you love her but drugs are unacceptable. You need to take care of this now before it gets out of hand.

Susan - posted on 05/14/2010

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I think I found from drugs.com that the pills are Oxycontin. The research I've done says that it's a very powerful pain medication. I didn't know my daughter was in any kind of pain. Could the marijuana be used to treat the pain she is in also? I wish she told me that she was hurt. She might have been injured playing sports. She is part of the crew team at school and I know some of the girls get shoulder injuries.

Caina - posted on 05/14/2010

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You need to find out what kind of pills they are. You can go to pill identifiier at Drugs.com. Take care of this now and head on. Doing this while she is young will be the best thing in the long run. Get her and yourself the help you need to take care of this. Pot is a gateway drug and it can lead to use of harder drugs. I could give you alot of advice on this but I am not comfortable about putting alot on here. If you would like to talk more about this one on one please email me at mommasgirlhd@yahoo.com. Just put Circle of moms in the subject. You are both in my prayers.

Melissa - posted on 05/14/2010

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Well, as for the pills, she can crush them and "cook" them and smoke them with the fish tank tubing.The tubing, she can also make some sort of pipe to smoke the pot. Smell the tube, you will know if she has used it to smoke already. Make sure you have support with you for help if needed, but you will have to confront her about it. And, if necessary, be prepared to call the police. The Marijuana, she might be selling. If that is the case, you need to get her some help before she gets arrested or worse. I am so sorry that you are going through this. My oldest was a closet alcoholic.

Susan - posted on 05/14/2010

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My daughter is 15, and a freshman in high school. I never thought that she would get into something like this, I never even experimented with marijuana. My parents were strict and raised me with wholesome Christian values, and I'm trying to do the same with Leah.
I think we have a great relationship, so it breaks my heart to know that she couldn't talk with me about this openly.
I was cleaning up her room, not snooping, promise! I was surprising her by remodeling her room. So you can imagine how surprised I was.

Brittany - posted on 05/14/2010

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How old is she and confront her appropriately!!!
It's all in the start of the conversation. If you don't have a open relationship with her then just put in on the table and let her walk in on it. Why were you under her bed anyway? Do you normally go in her things? This could be an issue that she brings up as well, so be ready. I'm pretty sure an argument will start so please try to be patient,but don't be a pushover, My mom use to go through my things when I was at home, but she thinks I don't know it. Just be open with the conversation. Also , if she's close to another family member, talk to that person too. Just so they will talk to her too, on a different level than the two fo you. It's gonna take more than just you to deal with this.

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